Disclaimer: Battlestar Galactica, its characters and story lines are not my property; I'm making no money from this.

Alas Rotas

Chapter One

Caprica City - Thirty-seven Years Ago

It was an unusually hot day but open windows were preferable to the air conditioning to Bill Adama as he drove entirely too fast down the highway into Caprica City. He was angry and the sound of the wind roaring around the speeding car seemed to sweep away the heated words he'd exchanged with his wife, Caroline. As usual, the argument had ended with no resolution and both of them walking away from each other - the marriage was barely three years old and the word "divorce" popped up in nearly every argument. The bottom line was that Caroline didn't like what he was, a military man - she wanted model husband which was something he doubted he could ever be and retain his career. Now that she was pregnant everything he was seemed to be twice as repulsive to her, he was failing as a husband in her eyes, how could he possibly measure up as a father? He hit the gas angrily with this thought and sped dangerously.

Twenty-nine years later...

His marriage to Caroline had failed – maybe he knew it would eventually, he wasn't the man she wanted him to be. They'd had two sons together, Lee and Zak, and had tried to make it work for their sake but soon realized that the relationship was unsalvageable. He'd met Anne a few years later and married her. He was keeping a secret from Anne that was poised to break her heart if he let it – now he was driving into Caprica City, searching for relief from the burden of being a liar.

Bill reached his destination, a small apartment complex just within the city limits. They weren't particularly upscale, but they were clean and well-cared for by most of their tenants. He pulled into a parking space next to a building labeled "B". He sat in his car, staring at apartment four, a ground-level unit, contemplating on whether or not to get out. His mind was made up for him when a pair of striking blue eyes attached to a tanned face framed with wavy chocolate hair appeared in the widow of the apartment sporting a toothless grin. He smiled back and got out of the car. He walked a short distance towards the apartment before the door flung open and a gangly eight-year-old girl came running and flung herself into his arms and exclaimed "Daddy!" He picked her up and hugged her tightly.

"Hey, big girl."

He said giving her a final squeeze before setting her down and releasing her. She wrapped her arms around his legs and he ruffled her already messy hair.

"C'mon Daddy, I wanna show you my pictures."

She released his legs, grabbed his hand and led him to the sidewalk which was covered in chalk-drawn multicolored stick figures. He smiled as she babbled on about what each drawing was. He slipped into what seemed a natural duty to him - daddy. Her name was Cassandra and she was the product of an affair he'd had with a former Viper pilot named Charlotte Tevanya, who was in command of the freighter he'd worked on before being reinstated in the Colonial Military. They were friends and their affair and Charlotte's subsequent pregnancy caused her to loose her job aboard the freighter, mainly because she refused to reveal her child's paternity. He never understood why she'd been so loyal to him; gods knew he didn't deserve it. He felt the least he could do was try to be a part of Cassandra's life, but he never found the courage to tell Anne, which made him feel like a bigger bastard. Charlotte never seemed to hold any of it against him despite the fact that she struggled to make ends meet, refusing anything he offered her. He felt he didn't deserve the love that Cassandra gave him blindly - it surged in violent waves from her that broke on his heart and overwhelmed it, and when she wasn't near and the tide subsided, it left a barren place in him that ached.

He reached down suddenly and hugged her. He couldn't hide her anymore. He and Caroline had two sons - Cassandra had a right to know her brothers. His secret would surely break Anne's heart considering Cassandra had been conceived when their marriage wasn't even a year old , but he couldn't punish this little girl anymore. How could he call himself her father? He barely made it out to see her – maybe twice a month. A small hand brushed the tear from his cheek causing another to take its place.

"You ok, daddy?"

Her sweet voice asked. He smiled and took her head in his hands.

"Yes - where's mommy Cassandra?"

"She's taking a nap."

"Will you go wake her up?"

Cassandra nodded and ran into the apartment. She emerged hand in hand with a petite raven-haired woman with stunning green eyes.

"Hey, Bill."

Charlotte was tired and drawn, it made him realize how rude just dropping by was.

"I'm sorry Charlotte - I should have called."

She waved her hand.

"It's ok - she's missed you."

She looked back at Cassandra who was decorating the concrete porch with neon green chalk.

"I can't do this to her anymore. I want to - "

He said abruptly, looking away.

"Bill, we've talked about this -"

"No, it's time I stopped acting like a coward – I visit what? Two, three times a month because I have to sneak away? It's not right."

Charlotte looked at her feet before catching his eyes and holding them.

"Do I get a say in this?"

"Yes, of course you do."

"Then, let's both think about it and talk about it next time you visit."

He sighed and looked over her shoulder at Cassandra who was now coloring in pink.

"Fair enough - can I visit for awhile?"

Charlotte smiled.

"Sure."

The sun was painting the horizon orange and red as it sank when he finally tore himself away from a sleepy Cassandra. She was an intense, artistic and unusually serious child. It was a joy to be around her simply because she didn't act like a normal eight-year-old. She held intelligent conversation and seemed to study her world thoroughly. He'd promised her he'd visit on his next leave and could tell she was sad he was going despite the fact that she didn't cry or throw a fit at his departure. He'd given Charlotte a fistful of cubits, refusing to take them back when she protested. The drive home was much more pleasant than the one to city had been. In his guilt he'd had one of those moments where the flaws of his life suddenly became painfully apparent, so the lie served its purpose in the respect that it made him take the blinders off. He was determined to do right by his daughter; Anne would have to understand that.

Bill Adama again occupied his car en route to the city. He sped out of worry - Charlotte's phone was disconnected. The drive seemed to take forever, and the restless feeling haunting him didn't subside when he pulled up in front of Charlotte's apartment. The windows were empty and the porch deserted by its toy occupants. Panic replaced restless as he ran to the window and peered in.

"She's gone."

A woman's voice said simply from behind him. He reeled around and found a severe black woman with her hands on her hips.

"What?"

He breathed in disbelief.

"She left - about a week ago - what's it to you anyway?"

"Where did she go?"

He asked desperately, ignoring the woman's question.

"I don't know and even if I did I wouldn't make it public - I manage the apartments, not the people - as long as they pay their rent I don't care what they do."

She shot him an accusing stare before walking away. He sank onto the porch with a defeated sigh. He suddenly felt very numb, his surroundings seem to spin. His first feeling as he recovered from his initial shock was a hot tear rolling down his cheek. She was gone, just gone - his heart broke as the realization swept over him. He walked back to his car and rested his head against the steering wheel. A thousand reasons why this was his fault swarmed his mind and overwhelmed him causing him to sob angrily. She was gone. Even if they didn't have a week's head start, the chances of finding them in the populations of the twelve colonial star systems was a distinct impossibility - no, Charlotte didn't want to be found.