A/N My first attempt at a crossover, starring, of course, my favorite Strawhat. I believe this will stay as a oneshot, unless I get enough positive feedback to make it into a series. Please enjoy! I sincerely apologize if the characters seem OOC. Review if you want!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or places in this story.
Zoro was lost. Very, very, very lost. Which, considering who he was, wasn't a surprise, but this lost was even worse than his usual type of lost. No, this "lost" was the what-the-hell-happened, why-the-hell-am-I-here, where-the-hell-is-this, and how-the-hell-did-I-get-here-when-I-was-trying-to-find-a-toilet lost. And, he realized, being lost was the least of his problems. In fact, foremost among his worriess was the fact that he had shrunk to the size of an eleven year old. And that there were ghosts, and that everyone around him was wearing this weird long black cloak thing. He wondered if it was some type of fashion statement, and whether this was their uniform and they were some type of trainee Marine. It didn't help his poor frazzled brain that they were all his newfound size, and were all clutching some sort of wooden stick. He unconsciously touched his swords' hilt and was reassured to feel their comforting weight at his hip.
A girl with bushy brown hair and a bossy look nudged him. She reminded him slightly of Nami. "What are you doing without your robes on?" she hissed. "And don't you know that dyed hair is against the school rules?" It took Zoro several moments of dumbfounded silence to process that he was in some type of school, and a few more minutes to understand that the black clothes were the school uniform. "Where am I?" he demanded, glaring, deciding that getting un-lost was probably his first priority. The girl stared at him, shocked. "You don't know where you are?" she repeated incredulously. "You're at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, for goodness' sake! How can you be here and not know where you are?" He shrugged, wondering what "witchcraft" and "wizardry" were. Were they some type of unknown Devil Fruit, perhaps?
Fortunately, a stern and official looking woman spoke at that moment, black hair caught up in a strict bun and imperious gaze sweeping over them. They stopped briefly on a young boy with unruly black hair, thick clumsy glasses and piercing, neglected green eyes, before moving on and finally resting on Zoro's abnormal hair. After wondering at the new student's blatant disregard for rules, she finally chose to wait until later to stress the importance of obedience. "Welcome to Hogwarts," said Professor McGonagall. "The start of term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the hall, you will be sorted into houses..." Zoro tuned her voice out, still wondering how he had gotten to this "Hogwarts" place, and what he was doing here. And it wouldn't hurt to know what these "houses" were either. He heard her say something about eating, sleeping and having classes with one's House, and that they were called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin, but the rest of her words' meaning was lost on him.
Finally she turned around and strode into a large dining hall with four long tables, where children aged from twelve to seventeen sat, chattering away to the people sitting near them. The woman told them all to get into line, and he obeyed, figuring that maybe obeying would help him make sense of this impossible scenario in the long run. Zoro gazed up in awe at the ceiling of the dining room. The winking stars calmed him down as he remembered the many nights spent on the ship's deck, staring up at the beautiful, clear night sky, the sound of laughter reaching him from down below. He wondered idly how the others were doing without him and whether they were worrying about him. Well, the shit-cook surely wasn't, in any case, the swordsman thought, snorting.
Loud, raucous singing filled the large hall and Zoro saw with a start that it was coming from a ratty hat. He stared at it dumbly. Hats did not talk, much less sing. Definitely not. Unless it was some sort of Devil Fruit. Yes, that had to be it, it was because of a talking Devil Fruit. He drowned out the small voice in his mind that was protesting against such an irrational explanation.
When the rag stopped singing, the woman took out a list of names and instructed them all to sit on the stool with the hat when their name was called. The first mate watched, fascinated, as "Abott, Hannah," was called, and the hat roared "HUFFLEPUFF!" The girl ran off to sit at a table, a relieved grin spreading across her face. Names continued to be called, and the girl who had scolded him for his clothes was put in Gryffindor.
Zoro was surprised when an awed hush fell over the crowd when a "Potter, Harry!" was called. He glanced over to see the nervous raven-haired kid the professor had been eyeing before set the hat carefully on his head. It sat quietly for a short while before announcing, "GRYFFINDOR!" A deafening cheer swept through the whole hall, though he noticed that one table in particular was sullenly silent.
The list finally reached the R's and then passed, without Zoro's name being called. It bothered him, somehow, though he knew he did not in the least belong here, so it was normal that he had not been summoned. The woman started to roll up her scroll and put away the stool after a "Zabini, Blaise" was placed in Slytherin. An old man with a long silver beard and half-moon glasses covering twinkling blue eyes noticed him and frowned. "Minerva, are you sure you did not miss anyone?" he asked, the sparkle now gone. "I am positive, Headmaster," she confirmed, following his look and noticing Zoro standing there, seeming quite lost and confused. "What is your name, boy?" she demanded, irritated. "Roronoa Zoro," he replied, his stance oozing intimidation and annoyance. She checked her list once again. His name wasn't there. She turned to the Headmaster for an answer. "How can this be? This is the first time such a thing has ever happened," she pointed out tartly. Albus Dumbledore turned to face the green-haired boy, smiling benignly, though his expression faltered slightly when he noticed the three swords. "How did you get here, my boy?" he asked. Zoro shrugged. "No idea. I was looking for the bathroom, went through a door and the next thing I knew I was here." He decided no to mention the fact that he had been nineteen before he arrived.
Dumbledore cocked his head curiously. "Odd, odd," he murmured, gazing at the swordsman. He could sense the magic within the boy, but why his name was not on the list was a mystery even to the great wizard. "Very well. Can you use those weapons?" Zoro placed a hand protectively over them and shot back contemptuously, "Of course." Even though he now only had the size and strength of an eleven-year-old, he could still use them. A few teachers sitting at the table muttered at his tone, but the Headmaster quieted them with a glance. He twinkled his eyes at the swordsman and requested, "Minerva, please sort him." She nodded. Restless gossiping was exchanged between the confused students. Zoro sat on the stool, wearing the hat, and reluctantly allowed it to rummage through his head.
"Hmmm. Difficult. Ambition, in great amounts, but no cunning. Reckless bravery, but also surprising loyalty. Definitely not Ravenclaw. No, nor Slytherin." Zoro clenched his fists, willing the hat to get over and done with it. "You do possess great loyalty, but to no one other than your captain. And yet. Well, I guess it had better be GRYFFINDOR!" The last word was shouted, and followed by light clapping. Zoro plucked the hat off his head and went to sit amidst the Gryffindors.