Hi! This is just a spur of the moment thing that I wrote when I was bored one night and the only piece of technology near me was my ipod :3
I HAVE A BETA! **glomps Evening Hush96** she be my beta :3 well for yaois anyway
Summary: L and Light are caught in a rather interesting situation and when you have to lie as much as L does, your explanations start to become very interesting.
Warning: Misa bashing(? Idk thts how I sometimes perceive her in the show…), mentioning of crossdressing, and a very, very horrible excuse for a situation. Although said horrible excuse could probably shock your opponent enough to have time to run away :)
Disclaimer: You know that I don't own it, but after reading this… I think you still won't want me to own it.
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"If you don't lie, you won't have to remember the story later on."
"...I'm sorry, can you repeat that statement again please?"
"Yagami-kun asked me to go get a vanilla shake for him and considering the fact that Yagami-kun had been a very diligent worker lately I decided to fulfill his request. I prepared the drink for him and when I had returned I was unfortunate enough to see Amane-san attempting to suck off a patch of skin on Yagami-kun's neck. He was thrashing and yelling for someone to help him and since we are friends I felt it was my responsibility to help the poor man.
"As I was trying to remove the leech- I mean lovely young woman, she had somehow obtained the ability to use 'The Force' and without removing herself from Yagami-kun, managed to take the cup of vanilla milkshake and smash it on the computer table. At this point I was extremely concerned for Yagami-kun's safety. Amane-san had managed to rip most of Yagami-kun's clothes off and was now beginning to resemble something that came out of an Aliens vs. Predators movie.
"Since things were beginning to get dangerous I had no choice to attack Amane-san. She was rather upset with this and removed herself long enough from Yagami-kun to turn her attention to me. She seemed to be in heat, therefore she blindly and violently attacked Yagami-kun probably looking for sexual relief, considering the fact she also began attacking my neck and ripped off my shirt. In this time frame Yagami-kun had managed to escape the demon's clutches but was near nude since most of his clothing was ripped off. For the sake of decency he put on the only piece of clothing that was nearby; a very conveniently placed Gothic Lolita dress that was miraculously a perfect fit on him.
"After feeling like Amane-san was trying to suck the life out of me, she had apparently grown bored of my constant punching her on the head and threw me harshly on the computer table, resulting it to break in half from the pleasu- pressure. Amane-san at this point obtained a near super-human strength and picked up Yagami-kun with one hand. She was about to run off with him when the sunlight began to pour through the windows. She seemed to be extremely affected by this and let out a shrill yell. She growled and harshly threw Yagami-kun at me, causing us to bounce off the wall that the desk was against and roll together on the floor with our limbs entangled and with Yagami-kun on top of my body. With a final screech Misa had reverted back to her old form and began running back to wherever she came from. That's what happened."
As L took a deep intake of breath, this was the second time he had to repeat the explanation after all, the investigation team was pretty sure their leader had finally lost it. Light laughed awkwardly behind L and scratched the back of his head. He smoothed out the frills on the dress before picking at the bottom of it, a dark blush dusting his cheeks.
"Uh..."
The team couldn't even think of a response. They had walked into the investigation building this morning only to be rewarded with the sight of their chief's son dressed in a very short dress, entangled and on top of their near naked boss; aka the world's top three detectives. Not only that but the computer desk in the back of the room was broken in half and had a mysterious white substance covering the top of it, no one was brave enough to actually go check what it was before Watari began cleaning up the mess.
"Not to be rude but, there are some extremely large holes in your explanation. First of all, you two are chained together. It would be physically impossible for you to leave the room without Light-kun being next to you. Therefore it's impossible for you to have left the room to have made a vanilla milkshake, leaving Light-kun venerable for 'Misa-Misa' to attack him.
"Second, how come all common order and the difference between fiction and reality had somehow become a null and void last night? The 'Force' is something that was created and used for the popular story Star Wars. It is a fictional thing and is not gifted to people in reality. And it appears the dress Light is wearing is custom made to fit a male. A very expensive custom made dress that would most likely never appear by coincidence when the time is convenient. Also in reality it is impossible for people to spontaneously transform into monsters when sexually frustrated. If that were true Aizawa would resemble Chewbacca by now. And wouldn't you two most probably have very serious injuries at the moment if it were true how much you guys got knocked around?
"Lastly, although there are probably many more flaws in your story than this, Misa-Misa isn't even in the country at the moment. Hell she's not even in the same side of the world at the moment, She's in New York promoting her new fashion line."
...
The rest of the team gawked at Matsuda's very blunt and detailed outburst. Aizawa was wondering if hell froze over.
Light's eye twitched slightly as L glared at the knucklehead detective, attempting to use 'the force' to painfully torture his ass. Soichiro had fainted from shock long ago and was now being fanned by Mogi. Mogi looked up and couldn't help but have something bothering him.
"If L's story is true, wouldn't Watari have intervened the situation and stopped the rampaging bitch? And also couldn't L just have requested Watari make the vanilla shake for Yagami-kun?"
The rest of the team looked behind the dumbstruck and blushing duo to a very calm looking man, whom of which was cleaning the apparent 'vanilla shake'.
"Hey, they gave me permission to sell the tapes and keep all of the profit. What would YOU have done?" was Watari's blank reply.
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K if you got this far, thanx for reading ^.^ Review please!
Oh yeh disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars, the Force, Chewbacca, or Aliens vs. Predators.