really brief one shot i whipped up in like half an hour lol. I wanted to make a really really mature fem-Hikaru story… and there was this line in episode 74 where I almost spit out my drink and was like, "They couldn't have phrased that any better?-!" because it just sounded so… well, weird. In canon context, it was just funny phrasing. In this context… (:

NOT FOR YOUNG EYES contains nonexplicit, but inadvertent mentions of sex,and everything that goes with it. you're warned!

"Well, it definitely changes things." Nase had said, looking thoughtful.

"What does?" Hikaru tilted her head. "Going," And at this, she put quotes in the air. "'All the way'?"

Nase giggled, nodding. "Well, yeah. I mean, there's more of a connection, and stuff like that I guess. I dunno! Why are you asking this?"

At this, Hikaru blushed. "Uh-I was just curious!" She said, hotly. "Y'know, everyone always talks about it..."

"Hmm, well think about it when you're ready." Was Nase's advice. The problem was, regardless of whether she was ready or not, she was thinking about it anyway. "But it only leads to good things."

Good things, huh?

Then she smiled sheepishly. "Usually, anyway." And, with a smirk, "You're not thinking of Touya-kun, are you?"

"What?" Hikaru stabbed at her jello with more force than necessary. "W-What gave you that idea?"

Nase rolled her eyes. "Huh, well, I dunno... maybe because you guys are dating?"

Hikaru gawked. "How did you know about that?-!" They were supposedly keeping it secretive for now, since they were so young and everyone was always talking about them, anyway.

"It's obvious." Nase smirked, before adding slyly, "And Waya may have told me."

"Waya..." She gritted her teeth. Stupid boy. He'd asked her out before too, but she'd already realized how much she liked Touya, and had the good sense to let him down easy. Didn't do much good when he found out that she and what could possibly be his least favorite person were unofficially dating.

"Don't get mad at him-I had him at gunpoint, I swear." The girl joked. "And hey, don't rush into it okay? Give it some time."

.

.

.

Fat chance of that.

"Last night?" Nase repeated, looking shocked. "You guys—

Hikaru immediately clamped her friend's mouth shut, sending a furtive look around the lobby. Luckily enough, everyone was engrossed in their own nerves and conversations, and hadn't heard the girl's alarmingly loud outburst.

"Keep it down!" Hikaru hissed, flushing.

Nase smirked. "Oh, but my little Hikaru is growing up—

"I'm not little!" Hikaru insisted, in vain. She was rather short for her age. "I'm sixteen!"

"And going 'all the way' already." Nase waggled her brows, smiling. "Well? Are you going to tell me all about it?"

"Later. And don't put it like that!" Hikaru shook her head, eying the room with a little impatience. She hadn't seen him since last night, and was wondering when he'd get there.

Nase hummed thoughtfully. "But of all the times you could have done it—" And at 'it' Hikaru flushed a brilliant scarlet. "Why last night?"

Hikaru looked down.

"I mean, you're playing him today, right?" She reiterated.

Like I need to be reminded. Hikaru thought, glumly. How was she supposed to keep her head when all she could think about was last night? After he'd left, she'd lolled around a bit in her room, all smiley and giddy, until she realized that tomorrow they'd play in their Oteia match. Then she just felt confused.

"I am." Hikaru answered finally, rubbing at her hair. "I don't even know what to say to him…"

"Do you regret it?" Nase asked carefully.

"Of course not!" Hikaru protested hotly. "I just… I'm confused I guess." And, with a blush. "What am I supposed to say?"

"Nothing." Nase answered cheerfully. "I mean, you guys are going out right? It was only a matter of time."

That's right, Hikar thought, scratching her cheek with a contented little smile. They were, quite officially now, 'going out'. She hadn't thought she'd experience all these typical teenage girl things as a Go professional, but apparently life had a funny way of making things seem normal.

"Hmm, I want to know now!" Nase pouted. "You'll have to tell me all about it, okay?"

"Nase!" Hikaru shrieked, looking away with a furiously red face.

Nase laughed. "Awh, come on! Don't be so childish. Hey, you guys used protection right?"

At this, Hikaru paled, turning back to her friend. "What…?"

"Like, you know…" Nase started making confusing hand gestures, her face growing more and more concerned as Hikaru started at her blankly. "Oh, don't tell me…"

"Don't tell you what? What are you talking about? Oh, oh do you mean like…" Hikaru looked away, and then, quietly. "Uhm… no, I don't think so."

Nase blinked in surprise. "Hikaru—!" She called worriedly.

"I hadn't even thought of that…" Hikaru whispered dazedly, dread growing in her stomach.

"Oh, Hikaru." Nase gave her a comforting hug. "It'll be okay, I promise. I have to get to my Insei class, but we'll have lunch together, okay? We'll work it out then."

"Okay…" Hikaru answered feebly, watching her friend walk away.

Then she shook her head. Damn, I can't think about this right now. The girl reminded herself. She had an important match, and she couldn't get caught up in all those seemingly normal, if not worrying, teenage problems.

.

.

.

Or, maybe not so normal in this case.

Quite clearly no one had every explained to Touya that there was a very, very noticeable difference between dating someone, and being someone's rival. But Hikaru shouldn't have thought anything different.

However much to her chagrin, nothing seemed to have changed, even though, as boyfriend and girlfriend, they had gone 'all the way', as Nase had so unhelpfully put it.

And he's not treating me any differently! The girl thought, more than a little annoyed.

Touya hadn't even noticed she had been glaring at him for the majority of his turn. In fact, he didn't seem to notice anything at all aside from the game. Hikaru wasn't sure if she should be relieved that clearly their relationship hadn't changed, or annoyed that he hadn't even brought the subject up. After all, it was a big change.

But nope.

And to think, The girl mused, irritated, watching Touya, who in turn was looking determinedly at the game. I lost my virginity to this guy! And he hasn't even said anything to me all day!

More than just a bit miffed, Hikaru was also a little worried. That was a big step in their relationship, which, until a couple months ago had just been two kids who shared a common interest in Go. Hell, even when he had sorta kinda asked her out, she wasn't particularly sure if he even had any romantic feelings for her at all! The first time she'd seen any real affection from him had been when he pleaded for her to play Go again—and that had completely backfired. She thought that he was trying to use their relationship as a ploy to make her play again, and he thought she was just being stubborn.

But we've come along way since then. Hikaru reasoned, still eying Touya, who had yet to make his move.

Not for the first time since he'd left, Hikaru wished for Sai. The ghost always had words of wisdom for her, and not all of them were related specifically to Go. Right now, Sai probably would have had an answer to her burning questions—but Sai was a long way away from her.

The thought prickled her eyes, and she wiped away at them hastily.

The worst part was that she definitely did like him—as more than a friend. Which was why it hurt all the more that she wasn't so sure he felt the same. We went "all the way"! She wanted to accuse him. Because according to Nase, that meant their entire relationship would change—for the better.

Well, Nase was wrong, Hikaru sniffed. Very, very wrong.

It wasn't that Hikaru didn't like being his rival—it really touched her that he thought so highly of her as a player. But if that was all he thought of her…

I should've picked Waya. Hikaru berated herself, silently. He'd have at least said, "Good luck! And last night was great." Or something along those lines, instead of completely ignoring me and not even saying hello when I sat down.

Actually, Waya would never say something so socially awkward, but that wasn't the point. She resisted the urge to stick her tongue out at the boy deep in thought across from her, all the while desperately wishing for Sai. Ah, well, Nase was down in the hallway, and she could at least offer Hikaru some semi-helpful advice.

Because Hikaru definitely needed it.

And I'm definitely, one-hundred percent not going to cry over someone as STUPID as Touya! The young girl privately promised to herself.

Definitely not. She'd rather die than admit to herself that she cared that much for him.

Touya finally, after what seemed to be a small millennia, played his move, jolting Hikaru out of her thoughts. She'd almost completely forgotten that they were even playing their first official match until the loud pa-chi! of his stone literally pulled her out of her thoughts.

This is no good… The girl bit her lip. I won't win if I can't even concentrate—and even though I'm mad at him, I know he's more than just an excellent player; he's one of the best…

She was about to draw a stone for her next move, when the buzzer sliced clear through the tense silence draped across the room. A few people jumped, including her, and she dropped the stone, the sounds of people stretching and yawning flittering around their bubble of tension.

So we end with Touya's katatsuki. She eyed the board critically. I should play on the lower left instead of the conflict at the top right… I'll play at the Keima to assault White's weakness.

He'll definitely connect, so I'll just get life on the side.

The girl was too deep in thought to even notice the crowd gathered above them. The lower left is still too small. How should I attack the top—

"Ehh?" The girl looked up, only to see Ochi, Waya, Saeki, Ochi's opponent and even Ashiwara were watching. "Huh? You guys…"

Waya grinned at her, and Ashiwara spoke up cheerfully, "Ne, Saeki-kun, let's get lunch okay? Touya never eats during a game, and food always tastes better with company!"

And with that, the childish pro grabbed Saeki by the wrist and dragged him off. Ochi and his opponent were soon to follow, leaving Waya grinning down at her.

"So, are we getting Takoyaki with Nase today?" He asked.

"Sure." She replied, trying to think up a viable excuse to get some alone time with the other girl, without the other pro noticing their disappearance. Maybe she could drag her to the bathroom..

Waya turned to move, looking back at her questioningly when she didn't follow.

"I'll catch up with you in a sec." She waved him off, looking back down at the board.

As she planned her next move, she gave a brief look up at Touya, who still, much to her incomprehension, was still staring at the board.

I understand it's complicated, and that you're really into it— She thought, grumbling, But a game is just a game! Am I not as important?-!

In her head, she counted from five.

And when she reached one—irritated that even after five seconds he hadn't said a word to her—the girl got to her feet. "I'm going to lunch." She said, briskly, hoping he'd at least catch some of her annoyance at the icy words.

When he didn't, she walked off in annoyance, almost halfway to the door when his voice froze her in her steps.

"…Sai."

Hikaru's eyes widened.

"I thought of Sai from the internet when I was playing you…" The boy explained.

Hikaru gave an exasperated smile, wondering how much longer the boy would search for her ghost. Touya… She shook her head, turning away. "I'm not Sai, unfortunately."

"It's you."

"Touya?" Hikaru tilted her head, her annoyance fading into confusion. How much had he been thinking on this? And for how long?

"It's the other you." He explained. "The Shindou Hikaru when we first met—that was Sai."

Hikaru's mouth opened in surprise.

"T—Touya…"

"There's—" His hands were clenched on his knees, an expression of thoughtful determination to his face. "Someone else inside you."

At this, her knees almost buckled and gave out. For a moment, she completely forgot they were even referring to Sai at all—all she could think of was her terrifying conversation with Nase from this morning, one which she had effectively put out of her mind so that she could focus completely on her game. That is, until now. Hikaru blanched at his wording, feeling sick to her stomach with dread.

"You played me twice in a Go Salon," Touya went on to say, completely unaware of Hikaru's small inner crisis. "That… that was Sai."

Hikaru swallowed.

"I can tell because I know you better than anyone else." For a moment, Hikaru thought he'd press the issue, but instead he only shook his head. "No, nevermind. I'm not making any sense."

Sai—she thought, and at the very thought of him all her problems seemed to melt away. Sai had brought her to everything she treasured now, Akira, Go, all her friends… But up until now, no one had known Sai but her, no one had been aware of his existence aside from a mysterious player on the internet.

No one, but Touya.

He found you, Sai. She thought, surprised at his intuitive reasoning.

"But it doesn't matter." Touya shook his head. "The game you play is what you are. That won't change… and that's all I need."

A little touched—but still mostly annoyed that she'd been ignored for the better part of the morning—Hikaru smiled. That almost sounded like a half-way love confession. But mostly, it just sounded like Touya being obsessed with her Go. Well, it's almost there. She mused, wryly. That's probably as good as it'll get for now.

"Are you coming on to me?" She joked, thinking to herself that perhaps that was a little late. Nevertheless, Touya grew a little pink, looking at the board still, but quite obviously remembering last night.

Hikaru giggled. Finally, some sort of reaction.

He's right though. Sai is in the Go I play. An epiphany she'd had only recently. Sai continued to live on her play.

"Yeah…" She put her hands into the pocket of her sweatshirt, grinning. "Maybe I'll tell you all about it someday."

And with that, she walked off.

She didn't get very far, though, making it all the way across the hall and down to the elevators, pressing the button to go down when Touya skidded out of the playing room, breathless. Ugh, she grumbled to herself with fond Sai would get such an abrupt reaction out of him.

"Shindou!"

The blonde girl looked back. "Huh?"

"What did you mean by that?"

"What?" Hikaru walked into the opened elevator, miffed. "So now you're talking to me, huh?"

"I couldn't talk-we were playing a game!" Touya pointed out, as if it was obvious. "I was concentrating!"

"And you couldn't have even said hello?" Hikaru sniffed, folding her arms and looking away. "That's rude, you know."

"I'm sorry…" He answered, feebly, before returning to their original conversation with determination. "But there is something going on with Sai, right?" He asked with conviction, referring to his earlier accusation. "Tell me!"

"Tell you?" Hikaru repeated, incredulously. "No way!"

And then, to Touya's confused face. "You said that the game I play is what I am, and that's all you need." She said, quoting him directly.

"Y—Yeah that's true…"

"Then don't ask." Hikaru cut him off.

"But you just said you'd tell me everything!" He reminded her.

"Someday is someday—really far away!" Hikaru snorted. "Idiot!"

"Idiot—?-!" Touya echoed, sputtering.

The doors had already slid open though, and Hikaru waltzed out, smirking, Touya two steps behind her as they approached the lobby.

"Waya!" She called to the boy waiting for her by the Insei room, talking with Nase. "C'mon, let's get some takoyaki."

"Shindou—wait!" Touya called back to her.

"You'd think they'd start calling each other by their first names." Nase whispered conspiratorially to Waya, a sly look on her face. "After all, they did go "all the way"."

"All the way?-!" Waya sputtered, face as red as a tomato. "Whaaat?"

But neither of the two in question heard them, Shindou turning around with an vexated expression to her face. "Just drop it, Touya." She said, exasperated. "I'll see you after."

And before he could protest, she reached up to give him a quick kiss to the lips. Waya sputtered further in the background, as she turned back to her friends.

"And don't think I'm going to go easy on you—you better be prepared to lose!" She shot back, looking back at where he was smiling like he'd won some sort of prize.

She rolled her eyes.

Stupid Touya.

"So did you guys work it out?" Nase asked quietly, not even bothering with Waya who walked stiffly ahead of them, looking more embarrassed than he should.

Hikaru shrugged, grinning. "Oh, something like that."