And You Thought
It Couldn't Get Worse
By Lacey Ruby
In the beginning
Menacing voice, "I have discovered there are three more armors besides the nine. Get them for me."
Another sinister voice came through the darkness, "Where are they?"
"The United States."
"Oh that's helpful! What am I supposed to do, walk up to three guys in armor and say, Hey come with meI want to corrupt you?' Yeah, that's gonna work real well!"
"No, you're supposed to find the three new warlords for me, or get their armors. We don't need the girls as much as we need the armor."
"Girls?!! You're sending me out to find girls?!!"
"I'm sending you out to find Warlords."
"Like we don't have enough Warlords, we need three more and women?!!"
"Yes! That is precisely what I want! Go find them!"
"So I go up to three strange females in armor and try to kidnap them while they're kicking my butt. How did I get volunteered for this job?!!"
"They don't know they're Warlords, and have no idea they even own armors. Get them."
"Okay, so these unknown females who are so stupid they can't realize that they own armor and are Warlords are supposed help us how?"
"Is there anything else you need to know?"
"What armors do they have?"
"Wellone of them is the Armor of Innocence."
"And that's supposed to help us? We're bad guyswe don't need innocence."
"We need the armor."
"And how are we supposed to corrupt innocence?"
"Why don't we use the Warlord of Corruption, like any NORMAL person would?!! You idiot!"
"Fine, brotherwhat are the other armors?"
"Armor of Love is the next one."
"Oh right, lovejust what we bad guys need. Love. You see all the evil guys shining with the light of love. What good is love going to do us?!! And how in the world do we corrupt something that's all ready corrupted?"
"Welllove is known to be cruel, get the Warlord of Cruelty to handle her."
"You really are an idiot!! Were you really born this stupid, or did it come in later years when I didn't notice?"
"Shut up."
"Fine. What is the last armor?"
"Confusion."
"Yes, I am confused. Why do you ask?"
"No, Baka! That armor is Confusion."
"Great just what we need, more confusion!"
"Just get them."
"And how do we deal with confusion?"
"Dais."
"Oh, how helpful. Let me guess, you already have the Armor of Confusion and are now wearing it."
"Funny, you don't look as stupid as you sound."
"No, that's your job."
"The Warlord of Illusion can deal with her. Confusion is just an illusion anyway."
"Twisted one."
"Get them."
"Oh joy." He starts to exit, then turns around. "I suppose I have to see you again, don't I?"
"Just go."