I still think I have another story to pull out of these two. I love writing them, what can I say? I feel there's always potential for delicious tension. Anyhow, you might see more of these two in the future, but if not, thanks for sharing the ride.
Oh, who am I kidding...Eli and Anders will so be back...
[insert standard disclaimer here]
You Should Always Expect the Unexpected
Vigil's Keep was not at all what Elirezara was expecting to find. It was large enough, she supposed, but after she lived in the Circle Tower her whole life, and had spent so much time in grand structures such as the Palace at Denerim and Fort Drakon, perhaps she expected it to be stronger. Or at the very least, not overrun by darkspawn.
Then again, it was only recently bestowed upon the Wardens.
The soldier who was assigned to escort her to the Keep, Mhairi, was wet behind the ears when it came to the foul creatures - though she was more than holding her own. The two women fought their way through the outskirts of the fortress, making their way past the great gates that were meant to prevent creatures from getting in, but had seemingly failed. There seemed to be no end to the darkspawn. Yet each one they faced fell before them. So much death. For every soldier they rescued, several more lay dead around them.
Where were the Wardens meant to be the guardians of this place?
Elirezara could not comprehend the sheer number of darkspawn necessary to overcome even a few Grey Wardens - and the Keep was said to house at least twenty – sent from Orlais, the Free Marches and Weisshaupt itself - prior to her arrival. How did this happen?
Mhairi looked as puzzled as she did, but the two fought on. They sent the soldiers that could escape on foot off to safety. Those who couldn't leave without help, they secured as best they could before moving on.
The rain, which had previously been pelting them like hurled rocks, had finally settled to a drizzle. Typical, Elirezara thought, considering they were about to enter the fortress itself in mere moments. She did love the rain, but not during such battles. At least it washed the blood away.
The women entered a wooden door quietly, uncertain of what they'd find inside. The door creaked loudly and the sounds of fighting emanated from within. Someone yet lived at least. They pressed on. Rounding a corner, they saw several bodies upon the ground. She bent down for a closer look - templars! Three or four at least. She could not tell how they were killed, and frankly, wasn't concerned. As she knelt at the first body, searching it for supplies or perhaps even a phylactery, she felt the tingle of magic streak through the air around her.
There was a mage nearby!
Which explained the templars of course. She saw Mhairi rush up ahead, and followed her. The magic ceased and a figure stood beyond the soldier.
"I know what it looks like. But it wasn't me."
Elirezara froze. That voice. She knew that voice. But, it couldn't be...it just couldn't...
She pushed past Mhairi towards where the man with the voice stood and believed her eyes to be deceiving her.
"Anders?"
Her voice barely let his name pass through her lips. Yet the gasp was enough to catch the man's attention and he turned to face her. He stood and looked at the woman for a moment, straining to see who it was under the helmet. She reached up and pulled the helm from her head, her long dark hair spilling down over her shoulders. His face went white as he stumbled backwards, nearly tripping over his own feet.
"I...I don't..." he stammered. "Eli?"
She moved towards him slowly, afraid that any sudden movement would cause him to run away again. He watched as she raised her hand to his arm, grabbing for his form to test that he was real.
"Eli..." he repeated, tears forming in his eyes - as to be expected. "They told me you were dead. They told me you were all killed at Ostagar. Why did they...?" He collapsed into her arms and she barely caught him as the sight of him weakened her tremendously.
Before the world allowed a moment for them to reconcile their realities with one another, a crash was heard from behind Anders.
"I'm sorry to have to do this, but I'm going to need you both at your best," Mhairi shouted, moving forward to attempt to hold back the approach of the attack. Elirezara looked at Anders, and he at her. All the words they wished to speak would have to wait for now. And they would have to survive this day.
The two mages instinctively reached for their staves and headed in the direction of the darkspawn. Despite being on the run for so long, Anders had not encountered too many of the beasts, yet his old friend - little Eli Surana of the Circle – was now the Hero of Ferelden. This was of course a fact of which Anders was unaware. He had no idea what had been transpiring around him. While he was on the run from the Circle, a war carried on - one that he barely knew existed. Perhaps he had become so good at hiding from civilization that he missed even the soldiers and the darkspawn as the battles danced around him.
And he certainly could not fathom what Eli had been doing. Did not understand how she'd gone from a timid girl in the Circle to...well, whatever it was that she had become. He could barely keep up with the girl. She ripped through the darkspawn with the sheer force of her mind. She used magic he had never seen before - incredibly powerful magic. And each time an enemy was felled, she would pause for a moment to look back at the man she once called friend when she was a girl and he was a boy. She wondered if things would ever be the same.
So much had changed. Would there ever be a way back?
"Talking darkspawn," Elirezara muttered to herself as she wiped blood splatter from her staff. "This is an interesting development."
The time that had passed between finding Anders and killing the talking darkspawn who called himself the Withered on the roof of Vigil's Keep had felt like an eternity to her. She wanted nothing more than to rest up somewhere and find out what in the Maker's name had caused her and Anders to each believe the other had died…find out what the other had been doing for the past almost two years since they had last seen each other in the Circle.
"Warden Commander, I will head back down to see if there are any survivors to attend to," Mhairi quickly announced. Anders' head jerked to face Elirezara at the mention of her title – something else he did not realize she had become. "And you! Oghren is it? Help me with the Seneschal."
The gruff looking dwarf smirked at the woman. "All these women always ordering me around," he grumbled. "Just wait 'til I'm a Warden. I won't take orders from any of you…"
Mhairi grabbed him by and ear and began to drag him from the roof. "You will always take orders from the Warden Commander."
"Her? She's been ordering me around the longest out of any of you," he exclaimed. "Hey, don't push the Seneschal on me so rough. Bloody woman!"
The three figures passed out of sight and back into the Keep's upper levels, leaving an awkward silence to sit between the two mages left on the roof. In typical Anders' fashion, he was first to break it.
"Warden Commander? Fancy title," he said uncomfortably.
"It's not the first I've been given," she replied coldly.
"What in the Void have you been doing these past two years?" he asked.
"Saving Ferelden," she said. "Or haven't you heard?"
"What…what happened between down there…and up here?" he questioned incredulously. "I thought you were happy to see me."
"The darkspawn have a way of bringing me back to reality."
"So, you're mad at me. Is that it?"
She tossed her staff to the side and stalked up to him heavily. Grabbing his robes by the collar in a gauntleted fist, she narrowed her eyes at him. "Two years Anders! Two years you've been out of my life. Half of which I thought you were dead," she growled. "Do you think you can just waltz back in here with a few tears and professions of disbelief that I'm alive and everything will be just fine?" She pushed him away from her forcefully, heading back to where she threw her staff.
"Eli…I'm…" he began.
"You're what? You're sorry?" she hissed at him.
He stood looking at her, like a dejected animal. "You've…changed…"
Her eyes widened at his words. "I've…changed? Oh, and why do you suppose that is? Perhaps because the night you left without telling me and then never returning until it was too late…perhaps because of that, you caused my very existence to change! Maybe the fact that my best friend…my only friend in that bloody Tower abandoned me to that miserable life…after influencing me that it wasn't an okay place to live so through and through that when another in the Tower asked me to help destroy his phylactery, I didn't hesitate. You finally got through to me Anders. You finally convinced me that I needed to get out of there and help anyone else get out too. They were going to make him Tranquil too Anders. So I helped him. I couldn't help you, so I helped him. And I nearly paid for that with my life. They were going to kill me for it. If it hadn't been for that Grey Warden in the Tower that day, I wouldn't be here now. And when I returned there…to the nightmare it had become…they told me you had been brought back by the templars and someone helped you out of the cells. But then you never returned and they assumed you'd died."
He flinched at the memories that her words forced back into the front of his mind.
"Wynne…and Petra…and the children…" he said, "did…did they survive?"
She nodded. She had rarely seen him display a look of concern for others. To see it now was almost unnerving.
As he breathed a sigh of relief, he slowly approached her. Her tirade seemed to have stopped for the moment and he took the opportunity to try to soothe her anger towards him. When he finally stopped in front of her, he reached up to remove her helm. She initially protested, but allowed him to lift it over her head. He dropped it next to where they stood. He still towered over her, but she did appear taller…larger even. He suspected that the armour she wore was a big part of it, but judging by her ability to fight on top of wielding magic, she was likely stronger underneath of it all. He placed his hands on her shoulders and when she would not look at him, staring at a point past his face, he moved his hands to her face. Their eyes finally met and took away what little nerve he had left to give her any excuses.
He fell to his knees in front of her, grabbing one of her hands. "Please Elirezara. Please forgive me." He looked up at her, his eyes begging.
He hadn't called her by her full name for years.
"Anders," she began, "I don't—"
"Warden Commander!"
The voice that echoed from the grounds below the Keep interrupted the exchange between the mages the moment it hit their ears. Anders face drooped, knowing this would not be resolved – it seemed to him that something was always going to prevent this conversation from concluding. Elirezara's eyes broke from his and she approached the edge of the roof to look down. It was of course Mhairi summoning her, but for what?
As she peered down at the grounds, she spotted Mhairi's location, standing next to Oghren who was sharpening the blade of his axe next to the location of the Seneschal and several other soldiers who had gathered around. The woman was pointing in the direction of the gates of the Keep. Elirezara looked towards the gates and immediately saw the soldier's reason for calling her – a long line of troops were marching towards the Keep.
"The King's Army," she muttered to herself. She grabbed Anders by the wrist and pulled him up from the ground. "And templars! So don't leave my side."
He did not fight her, but in her…anger…or frustration…or confusion…perhaps a mix of all of it, she ended up dragging him behind her. They wound their way through the labyrinthine Keep's inner levels – silent, save for her frantic breathing and comments muttered under breaths that Anders could not interpret. The light of the outdoors blinded them temporarily when they emerged from the stronghold, but she quickly recovered and led him towards where the visitors to the Keep were standing.
When the pair reached the troops, she realized that the King himself had made the trip to the Keep and took a deep breath to prepare for what might follow. She stopped in front of him and bowed gracefully.
"King Alistair," she said. "I did not expect to see you here."
"Elirezara," he replied. "There is no need for such formality here." He reached for her hand and kissed the top of it gently, precisely maneuvering around the gauntlet that surrounded it. Anders eyed the exchange suspiciously – the King had done this before. "And who might this be?"
She watched as Alistair's eyes drifted towards the mage at her side. "This is…Anders. We came across him in the Keep when we first entered and discovered it had been overrun by darkspawn." She glared at him, until he had the courtesy to bow his head in Alistair's direction.
"Ahh, helping to keep my Elirezara safe then. That is always welcome," he replied.
As she lowered her head to avoid the look she knew had fallen upon Anders' face, a voice bellowed from behind where the King stood. It came from a woman in templar armour who was hurtling herself towards where the three stood.
"There!" the woman shouted. "There is the apostate we have been hunting for!"
"Ser Rylock! I advised you we would deal with this a little more calmly," Alistair interjected.
"Your Highness," she protested, "this man is a maleficar who has eluded us for too long! I demand to know where the templars are that were guarding him!"
"The templars guarding him were slain," Elirezara said.
"We must arrest him immediately!" Rylock fumed. "He is a danger to us all."
"You will do no such thing."
All eyes turned towards Elirezara, expecting a reason for her response.
"Your templars," she hissed, "were slain by the darkspawn and had this man not been there, they would have likely ambushed us as well. Mhairi and I owe him our lives."
"Bullshit!" Rylock screamed, infuriated by Elirezara's words. "You have no authority over him, mage!"
"Uh, actually…" Alistair cut in.
"I invoke the Right of Conscription on him. This man is to become a Grey Warden," she replied.
"What?" Rylock exclaimed.
"Wait…what?" Anders cried out. "I'm going to be a what?"
"No," the templar shouted. "I refuse to let you do this!"
"Ser Rylock, I tire of your screaming in my left ear," Alistair said in as much of an authoritative voice as he could muster. "The Warden Commander has every right to conscript this man, especially considering the circumstances. The soldiers have reported that every Warden has been slain. The Order requires rebuilding, particularly after this attack. This man has my blessing to become a Warden – not that he requires it."
The woman tightened her hands into fists and stomped off towards her fellow templars. "Come on men!" she shouted. She spun around to face the group and eyed Anders with malice. "And you! You'd best watch your back, mage. You won't always have your guard dogs around to protect you."
"You dare insult this woman in front of me?" Alistair countered. "Get out of my sight!"
At his words, the templars retreated towards the gates of the Keep as Anders stared in disbelief over the turn of events.
"What…just happened?" he stuttered.
"I daresay you've been volunteered to become a Grey Warden, my friend," Alistair chuckled. "Must have made a damn good impression on our dear Commander here."
Ignoring the words of the King, Anders spun to chase after the mage who granted him freedom from the templars in exchange for his imprisonment in another institution.
"Eli! Eli, wait!" he called. As the two headed in the direction of the Keep's main hall, Alistair advised his men to settle in for the night and help the survivors where necessary. He followed them and eventually caught up when they stopped to continue their heated discussion about the conscription in the hall.
"Anders, it was the only way I could think of saving you from them," she said sadly, her voice echoing. "They would have killed you if I didn't."
"I can take care of myself, Eli!" Anders protested weakly.
Alistair stepped between the two and looked directly at her. "We need to talk. In private." He clasped his hand around her wrist and dragged her across the hall, littered with the corpses of Wardens and darkspawn. It was not the most opportune place to hold a discussion, but it would have to do until the cleanup efforts could begin.
Anders stood in place, watching as Alistair pulled Elirezara away from him. She glanced back at him, catching his eye for a moment. He slumped against a pillar in the hall, sliding down the length of it to the floor. His knees bent and he drew them towards himself, placing his aching head in his hands. He had yet to take in a breath to absorb what had just happened. Despite trying not to watch or listen to what transpired between the two across the hall, he couldn't help but pay attention to what happened. He couldn't hear everything, but it was enough to get the gist of some of the history.
There was so much fire in the woman now. He never saw that in her back at the Circle. Of course, there she led a sheltered life; only truly exposed to some of the more harsh realities when it came to knowing of the punishment that Anders received following his escapes. She didn't like the templars who guarded them all, but they never pushed her either. Perhaps it was on Irving's orders – he was always a proponent for her. And she never caused the templars any trouble…at least until the time she tried to aid the blood mage. He wondered who it could have been. He never saw signs of blood magic among his peers there. Of course, it wasn't as though he was looking for the signs. He was always just looking for another way out.
But now…now she was angrier…she was raw…there was no holding back her thoughts. The past two years had changed her very existence, as she had told him on the roof. He was only beginning to see just what that meant.
Yelling at the King, for instance.
"…parts of my life that you didn't bother to ask about, Alistair!"
"How could you not tell me about him?"
Maker, what happened between them? Anders wondered to himself.
"…told me he was dead! Would…" – something unintelligible – "…if he was?"
"…said I was the first! How could you lie?"
Oooh. That's what happened…
"I didn't! Nothing…" – then mumbling.
"—angry with me?"
"—seem to think that we still…" – more damn mumbling. Anders strained closer to hear – "but you have no say over my life Alistair! You gave that up back when…" – damn! Mumbling again!
"…still love you, Elirezara!"
There it was.
She had fallen in love with another man when Anders had walked out on her life…and it just happened to be the King of Ferelden.
Damn.
The last echoes of Alistair's words became one with the abyss of the great hall, but only briefly as Elirezara formulated her response.
"Don't. Don't you do that," she growled. "You have no right!"
As she stormed away from Alistair, he reached for her arm but she immediately shrugged away from his touch. He took a deep breath as she walked towards another exit from the room. Alistair slowly walked towards the main hall exit, not casting a second glance at Anders as he sat on the floor.
When both had left, he got to his feet and followed in the direction where Elirezara headed, having no idea where she had gone, or even how to get around the Keep. Luckily, she hadn't gone very far, and as he went through the door she took, it entered into a long corridor where he found her sitting on a bench looking out a window.
He approached her cautiously.
"Are you okay?"
She inhaled a breath sharply, surprised by his presence, but did not take her eyes off of where she looked.
"I didn't realize you were still here," she said.
"I don't run away from everything," he replied softly. "Can I…sit down?"
She signaled her approval by moving slightly down the bench. He slumped into the seat next to her, facing the internal wall of the corridor.
"I…thank you, Eli."
"For what?" she mumbled.
"For saving my life," he replied. "Again."
"I've never saved your life before," she said, finally turning her head to look at him.
"Yes you have. Every time I was hauled back to the Circle, you were the one reason I bothered to try to endure what they put me through. You were the good I knew so many mages had deep within them and I wanted so badly to try to get you out of there…somehow I was going to."
"But you kept running, Anders," she sighed. "You always ran. How did you expect to get me out of there when you couldn't get yourself out of there?"
He continued to look straight ahead. "I knew that if I kept trying, I would get it right. I would get it right and then I could come back for you."
"But…but you didn't…"
He hung his head. "I know…"
She sighed and returned to looking out the window. "When I returned to the Tower, I thought that you'd have been caught by then. And I…I guess I was right about that, but you didn't wait for me. You just left again…"
"I…thought you were dead," he choked out. "I had no reason to stay. But I couldn't even save the mages that helped free me…I couldn't even do that right…"
"Don't punish yourself for that. They survived," she whispered, placing a hand gently on his knee. He looked at that small hand, realizing at that moment that she had finally removed her gauntlets. He dared a glance at her briefly and she began to look almost like the girl he knew from the Circle. "I…shouldn't have said what I said."
He shook his head. "No, you were right to. I may not have meant to abandon you, but the fact is that I did. You're right to be angry. And to choose not to forgive me…"
"Oh Anders," she exclaimed. "That you left hurt me so much…but I can't fault you for that decision. I knew what you were facing had you stayed. And I…found your note. Even though you said you never intended to return, I didn't believe you. So I don't know that there really is anything for me to forgive."
He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath. "What happened? After you became a Warden, I mean."
"Do you have a week?" she blurted out, feebly attempting a joke.
"You're the one who conscripted me," he replied. "My life is in your hands now."
She scrunched up her face. "I guess it sort of is, isn't it?"
He smiled weakly. "I've missed that face."
"We have a lot to talk about, Anders," she said. "Frankly, looking out this window is not really doing anything for my senses at the moment."
"Would you prefer to go outside? Walls are so confining, and despite the ugliness of the night, it's turning into a lovely day," he offered.
She nodded. "I'm being a slightly irresponsible Commander, running off like this to sulk."
"Yes, the tale of how you got that title is one I'd particularly like to hear," he said with a smile.
"It's a long one, I promise you," she said. "But I also promise that I will tell you the whole story given some time."
"I'd like that," he replied.
The two returned to the lands inside the gates of the Keep. Anders hung back near where Oghren and Mhairi stood, the latter still attempting to organize a cleanup effort for the destruction wrought by the darkspawn. Elirezara continued on for a moment towards where Alistair stood with his men. He looked nervous as she approached, but they spoke briefly; she promised to speak to him later after she had sorted some things out for herself. Anders was still intensely curious about the nature of their relationship, just as Alistair had become of that of the two mages. He looked at Anders with a suspicious eye as she returned to his side.
"Sure left a moping King behind you there, Commander," Oghren grunted. "What'd you say to him now?"
"Nothing worse than last we spoke," she replied.
"So he'll be pouting even more than when you left Denerim," he confirmed. "But enough of that nonsense. What's this I hear about man-skirt over here becoming a Warden? I have to beg and plead to join, and you give him a free pass, mere hours after meeting him?"
"We have a longer history than you'd think, Oghren," she replied, smiling wistfully at the dwarf.
"Huh," he sputtered. "Now what do you think of that, huh Mary?"
"For the tenth time, Oghren, it's Mhairi!" the soldier cried out, exasperated.
"Get used to it," Elirezara advised, "he's like this, or worse, at least three quarters of the time."
"What about the other quarter?" she asked.
"Passed out drunk," she replied. "Anders…shall we?"
He nodded and the two set out, walking the grounds slowly. They exchanged as much of their respective histories over the previous two years as they could divulge off the tops of their heads. He told her of how he managed to stay one step ahead of the templars for so long before and after being dragged back to the Tower. She told him of the months spent crossing the country, drumming up support for the Wardens in their escalating battle against the darkspawn; the return to the Circle; exploring the Deep Roads; her encounters with the Dalish; the ragged band of followers she traveled with, including Oghren, Wynne and Alistair; and of course, the battle with the Archdemon.
"And what of Alistair?" he asked. "When you argued…I just…"
She nodded. He didn't have to say anything beyond what he said. "Yes, there was something there. We grew quite close. We were the last Grey Wardens in Ferelden after all. He had just lost the only family he ever cared to know. I suppose if you think about it, I lost the only family I knew as well when I was forced to leave the Tower. He was the only other person I knew that could relate to what I went through once I became a Warden. And eventually, I grew to love him."
"Oh," Anders said. He didn't know how else to respond.
"I don't know how it happened, Anders. It just did," she said. "And…I don't know if it would have happened if I believed you were still alive."
"What do you mean?" he asked.
"Do I really need to spell it out for you?"
"Maybe," he teased.
"I've forgotten how exhausting you can be," she sighed. "Alistair had been making his feelings for me known for quite a long time. I never responded to him until…well, I just couldn't betray what we had knowing you might still be alive."
"And what did we have?"
"You're asking me?" the elf exclaimed. "I still can't figure that out. But I…I missed you. No, I miss you. When you ran, there was a void in me that…never went away. To this day, it still exists."
"Even with Alistair there?" he asked.
"Yes. Even with Alistair. Sometimes he reminded me of you. You both have this way of deflecting everything with humour. And sometimes if I closed my eyes hard enough, sitting with him at my side, I'd…it'd feel like you there instead."
"I…don't really know what to say," he said after a brief pause.
"I thought of you every day for so long, but eventually, you were so far gone from my life, that…you began to fade out of it," she said quietly. "I was afraid that one day I'd forget about you completely."
"I never stopped thinking of you, Eli. But then, I didn't have anyone else to replace you," he said, regretting his words almost instantaneously.
"He wasn't a replacement, Anders," she said angrily.
"I…know. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I just mean that…you had all these other things to do. These things to keep you busy…to keep your mind occupied. I had the templars. When I wasn't running from them, I was thinking of you. Regretting what might have been, but never came to be."
"Anders, I…" she began.
"What happened between you and Alistair?"
"I just told you," she replied.
"No," he interrupted. "What happened? What caused it to…get to the point things are at right now?"
She looked away from him, focusing on some distant tree. "He…became King."
"That can't be all…"
"Essentially, it is," she said. "I fought for him to retain his birthright. He was Maric's son. The only logical heir to the throne. I fought for him to be put on the throne, and he…"
Anders turned her face towards him. "It's okay. You don't have to…"
"No, I need to," she admitted. "He pushed me away. Told me that we couldn't be together publicly. They'd never accept an elf, let alone a mage as his Queen. They'd never put two Grey Wardens on the throne. He told me we could keep our relationship a secret because he still loved me. But…he would have had to marry…to produce an heir at the very least. To carry on the royal bloodline. I'd have been…"
"Don't say it, because you aren't," he interjected.
"Thanks," she replied.
"I mean it," he said. "You deserve better. The bastard…"
"Don't, Anders," she warned. "It's not…it's not his fault. I almost considered the offer."
"You did?" he asked incredulously.
"What else was there for me to be?" she questioned. "A mage…an elf…a Grey Warden…may as well add King's whore to the list. Seemed rather fitting to me at the time."
"No," he said, shaking his head. "You are better than that, Eli."
"Well, I turned the offer down," she replied, "so I suppose there's some sense left in me after all. I made plans to leave Denerim once Vigil's Keep was turned over to us, and…here I am."
"And here I am too," he said with a slight smile. "I told you we'd find each other again one day."
"I don't know what this means Anders," she confessed. "I don't know what it means…for us."
And in that split second, she was transported back to those awkward moments spent in the library stacks when he first grabbed her hand like that…their first kiss over his birthday pie…when they were teenagers on the verge of figuring out themselves and each other and whether or not they even knew enough about love to know if they were in it. She had slain the Archdragon, become the Hero of Ferelden and the Commander of the Grey…and yet this man…this Anders, habitually tripped her up and sent her reeling. They were back to square one. Neither knew what the next day was about to bring them…
"I guess we'll find out," he said as his eyes sparkled for the first time in over two years.
"I guess we will," she replied.
She looked around the grounds of the Keep. The grass seemed greener, the sky bluer. The clouds parted to let the sun shine down upon them. The road ahead seemed no less bumpy, but at her side again was a friend to walk it with her.
Sometimes, she thought, a girl can't ask for more than that.