The moment in which you look up at what holds you from disappearing, and see you have nothing is a dark time. Because you see so much pain in the shortest seconds, and it hits you too hard to not let go.
To look up, and realise that everything you lived for wasn't quite there, wasn't exactly true. No real family. You were kept for a later, now irrelevant use. That was always the primary reason for keeping up the pretense, and now there's not even that. You were lied to for longer than you can remember.
No friends. You grew up in someone's shadow, tagging along. People weren't interested in you, and if ever they were, it was only negative attention, suspicion, and accusation.
No trust, or appreciation. No comfort, or consolation. You knew you were second best.
You spent your whole life trying to prove you were worthy. Your life revolved around the hope that you'd be equal. One day you would count. One day you would matter.
The moment when you look up and see that what you held on to was telling you it would never be real, telling you what you grew to live for would never happen, is when you have no choice but to let go.
Fall, not knowing where you'd land, nor if you'd be alive to find out. Hoping that you wouldn't be.
Then you chance upon something that could redeem you. You're not looking for their approval anymore, but redemption for yourself only. If you can't have what you lived for, instead finding you could have something different, equal or better, you'd take it.
Is it letting go? Or is it being knocked down, further than you could ever comprehend. So far that should you wake up, you would not be the same person. Like opening your eyes, after a strong and painful epiphany, you'll find a new, glorious purpose.
I fell into power, whilst you cannot even stumble towards the hope of stopping me now.