Disclaimer: I don't own The walking dead or the characters. All rights belong to amc...
Rating: M, I'm paranoid.
Warning: some mature content, swearing, angst, mention of child abuse, minor character death (the governor), slight spoilers .
A./N.: I couldn't get rid of the idea since I saw the episode "Say the word". Geez, Daryl with the baby was just so adorable and touched my heart deeply. So cute...
English isn't my native tongue I'm sorry, especially not southern accent but I learned that there are dictionaries on the internet for english-redneck... I love the sound of the accent.
I hope you enjoy it a little :)
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"Where did you learn to care for a baby?" Maggie asked, a gentle smile graced her lips.
Daryl was the one who pointed out the fact that the baby needed food first, and that fast.
He was the first too volunteer to go on a supply run, though, volunteered wasn't the right description. It was a fact that he was going.
"Daryl?" Hershel said in a fatherly tone and the look they got was answer enough. Somewhere out there was, at least one, dead Dixon child.
"He wasn't mine," Daryl said finally. "I met that girl, got dumped by her man while she was pregnant. Took her in," he shrugged.
"Merle?" Glenn couldn't imagine that the brothers lived in separated homes.
"He ain't that bad," Daryl's features softened at the thought of his brother, it didn't hurt so much anymore.
"We have to find more formula," Maggie said, "our supply won't last long."
"We will find a way," Glenn put an arm around her.
"Where is her daddy?" Daryl frowned, "Still killing walkers?"
"Yes, he almost killed me as I tried to stop him," Glenn rubbed his neck.
"Daryl?" Carl tried to be strong but he couldn't, not this time, "Can you help me raise her? Until dad can do it?"
"Yall will help, kid," Daryl seemed surprised.
"Thank you," a small smile tucked on Carl's lip. He wanted Daryl to help him.
He was a good man, rough and dirty but good.
"Nothin' ta thank me for," the older man grabbed the toy he found for the baby and gave it to her. She instantly fell in love with her new plushy friend. "We need a bed."
"We found that," Oscar appeared with a clothes basket in his hands. "We thought it's better than nothing," Axel added.
"That's good enough," Daryl took the clothes basket and filled it with blankets. "Time for a nap," he tucked her in.
She stared at him in silence for a while before her eyes fell shut.
"Where are you going?" Hershel asked as Daryl took his crossbow.
"Findin' her daddy," he huffed before he vanished.
::::::::::::::
"Rick?" he whispered ready to shoot.
It was indeed Rick, he stood there looking at a huge pool of blood.
Covered in blood and breathing heavily.
Daryl knew he had to be careful not to scare him or he was a dead man. "Rick, your baby needs ya."
No reaction.
"She lost her mommy, she cain't lose her daddy too," he tried again.
Rick's body was rigid with fury and Daryl had just the split of a second to make a decision as he heard a walker approach.
He knocked the officer out and dragged him out of there.
"Daryl what happened?" Hershel got up, grabbing his crutches.
"Knocked him out," he could hear Maggie giggle, "he's dangerous."
"He's in shock," Hershel said. "His mind doesn't work at the moment."
"Figured as much," the redneck grunted, heaving Grimes onto a bed. "I take the first watch," he needed time to think.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Rick slept for hours, he needed the rest but his friends dreaded the moment he'd wake up.
The officer rubbed his neck, feeling a little bump. He tried to remember what happened and after a few minutes his memories returned, bright and clear.
It wasn't a dream, he did lose his wife in child birth and Daryl whacked him over the head with, whatever.
Rick took a shaky breath, he felt hung-over even though he wasn't drinking. "Good to see you awake," Hershel said.
"Where is she?" was his baby okay?
"She's with Daryl," he pointed at the gangway above them, just on top of the stairs sat the redneck with the baby in his arms.
Rocking her to sleep. "Hey," Daryl looked up unsure how to act.
"Give her to me," Rick ordered and Daryl obeyed, it was his daughter after all.
Grimes took the baby in his arms and kicked Daryl in the face once he had her. "Stay away from us," he did trust the blond with his life but not with the life of his baby. He tended to have angry outburst, and god knows what he would do to a baby, Grimes thought.
He lost his wife he wouldn't lose his kids too.
Daryl nodded, wiping the blood from his face. It wasn't the first time he was on the receiving end of a bad temper and it wouldn't be the last.
"Rick," Maggie yelled at him. "He cared for her while you went on your little vendetta. He and I went on a supply run for her and that's the way you're thanking us?"
Glenn tried too hush her up but to no avail. "She's right," Hershel agreed, "He knows how to care for a baby," he added.
Rick frowned at that and returned his gaze to the man on the ground.
Daryl avoided his gaze and stayed where he was.
"Stay away from us," he repeated before he went down the stairs.
Carl sat down next to Daryl and put a hand on the older man's arm.
Daryl hated that the kid had to act like an adult but it was a necessary skill to survive. "Your dad needs ya."
"You need me more," such a sentence from the mouth of a child was not right.
"'m fine," his tone was rough but Carl knew the man good enough by now to know he was scared.
"Thank you for taking care of her," Carl said, looking down at his father.
"Ya will be a good big brother," Daryl assured.
"Like yours?" he was scared he could be like the older Dixon, he was not nice to his little brother. He saw him hit Daryl sometimes.
"Yeah," Daryl smiled a little, "but ya will be gentler."
"CARL," Rick yelled and he obeyed but just to protect his friend.
:::::::::::::
Daryl avoided them for the next few days, to be exact he avoided anyone.
"Do you want to talk my boy?" Hershel tried to climb up the stairs.
"Stay there," Daryl came down the stairs to spare the old man the strain, he ignored the boy statement even though he couldn't deny to feel something like warmth in his heart.
"How are you?" the old man eyed him carefully.
"'m fine," his behavior showed how insecure he was right now.
"He didn't mean it," at least that's what he hoped.
"He did," Daryl wiped over his mouth with his hand. "Has every right ta."
"That's not true," Hershel chided, "You're a good guy."
"'m not," he denied, he was good for nothing. "How's the baby?"
"Judith is fine, but I think she misses you," Hershel remembered how the rough redneck played with her to keep her silent. The joy in Daryl's eyes was breath taking honest.
"Miss her too, ya know," there was no way to deny it so he decided to speak the truth.
"I know," Hershel patted him on the shoulder before he went back to Maggie.
::::::::::::::::::::::
Daryl watched them from above and his heart hurt at the sight. They had been so many but their number increased dramatically.
It was hard to admit but he cared for these people, he never had more than three people he cared about. He never had anyone who cared about him either, except for Merle.
Jill and her boy had liked him alright, they were thankful for a home and care but it wasn't like what he had here. The apocalypse bound them together.
They relied on each other to stay alive and they were selfless enough to sacrifice themselves to rescue someone else.
All of them were good people.
"You need to eat," Maggie offered him a bowl.
He took it with a nod.
"People," Glenn sounded out of breath, Daryl got up and ran as fast as he could.
He stopped once he reached the door, it was hard to believe his eyes. "Carol."
She looked frightened and gave in the urge to flung herself at Daryl.
Daryl was a synonym for safety in her eyes.
"Where have you been?" Maggie asked, beaming like the sun.
"I hid," she let go of Daryl. "T-Dog gave his life so I could run and hide."
"He was a good guy," Daryl agreed, he missed the man but he was happy that Carol made it.
She gave him the feeling to be important, she was like a mother.
"That he was," she took a deep breath.
A baby disturbed their reunion. "Is that?" Carol said in awe.
"We lost Lori," Daryl turned his back on them and went back to his place.
"Poor Rick and Carl," she said motherly.
::::::::::::::
Judith tossed and turned for a while now, sniffling softly and it was just a matter of time that she'd start to cry.
So Daryl sneaked into Rick's cell and took the little girl, the officer was luckily dead to the world.
"Hush," he whispered and sat down on top of the table, his feet rested on the bench. "Hush," he wiggled the toy in front of her to coax a happy gurgle out of her.
"Missed ya too, kid," his upper body rocked gently from the left to the right.
Rick wasn't sure what woke him but the realization that Judith wasn't in her crib scared him half to death.
He left his cell and the sight that greeted him tore on his heart.
There was Daryl Dixon with his baby in his arm, rocking her back to sleep. "Hush now, or we will wake ya daddy. He'll kill me if he finds us here," he whispered to her.
Rick felt the urge to smile, he liked the other man a lot and he would even go as far as to say that he had a crush on him. His marriage with Lori wasn't working out, too much had happened between them but he still loved her.
What angered him most was the thought that she left him behind with their children.
He couldn't do that alone and seeing the redneck so relaxed with a honest smile on his face made him feel even more guilty. Daryl just tried to help.
He'd been angry and he lashed out, doing exactly that what he accused Daryl of.
"Daryl?" he whispered while he walked over to the other man. He saw him flinch as he called out for him.
"I- I just," what could he say?
"It's okay," Rick sat down next to him. "I'm sorry," he wanted to say it for days but his pride didn't let him.
"What for?" he said as if nothing happened.
"You know the answer," Rick fidgeted whit his hands. "I lashed out at you, that was not fair."
"Had worse."
"I know that and I hurt you nonetheless," Rick confessed feeling even worse.
"Ya know dat?" Daryl's eyes were fixed on Judith.
"I'm a cop. I know how abused children look like."
"'m not a child anymore," he argued.
"No but it's still visible," Rick leaned against Daryl, placing his head on the other man's shoulder.
"Ya should go back ta bed." Daryl liked Rick's warmth against his body, he liked it too much.
"I want to stay here, just for a moment okay?"
Daryl nodded.
They remained that way for hours. Rick fell asleep against Daryl and the blond put his arm around the officer to steady him.
:::::::::::::
"Good morning Da..." Glenn's sentence died on his tongue as he saw his friends, arm in arm.
"They fell asleep on me," Daryl shrugged, he looked like shit.
"Give her to me," Maggie reached out for Judith. "Go to bed Daryl."
He pointed at Rick, the man needed sleep and Daryl knew he would have to wake him to get to bed himself.
"Rick," Hershel poked their leader, it was nice of Daryl to sacrifice his sleep for Grimes but it was time for the kid to sleep, too.
"What?" he looked disorientated.
"Go to bed, you're keeping him up all night," he pointed at Daryl.
"Jesus," he absorbed the view in front of him. The redneck was pale and his eyes bloodshot, the bags under his eyes even more pronounced than hours before. "Stop being so selfless. Up with you," he dragged his friend to his mattress. "Sleep," he ordered.
Daryl fell asleep almost immediately.
Rick watched over him for a while before he went back to Maggie and Judith.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Months passed and Judith was besotted to Daryl, it was cute to watch them interact.
"Rick," he heard Daryl call, his voice was filled with joy.
"What?" he came to look and his jaw dropped. Judith made a few steps beaming at Daryl.
Daryl on the other hand was beaming at him. "How did you do that?"
The blond shrugged nonchalantly. "She just got up and did it, right sweetheart?" he treasured the look Rick gave him.
Judith squealed in delight.
They became close over the months, even closer than they had been before.
Daryl was Rick's right hand, it was a well known fact.
The redneck was smart and honest, and that made him a great counselor and fighter, even when Daryl did not share their opinion about him.
"She loves you," Rick wasn't sure how to approach the subject. He thought about it for weeks but was too much of a coward to act.
"Adore her too," Daryl granted him a little grin.
"I like you too," Rick knew that didn't make clear what he wanted to say.
"Like ya too," Daryl frowned.
"No I mean I love you," he wished the ground would open up and swallow him.
Daryl turned beet red and was ready to bolt.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said that," he looked at his hands.
"Love ya too," Daryl whispered quietly.
"You do?!" Rick's eyes lit up, Daryl wasn't the first man he desired but he was the first he loved.
Daryl nodded, looking away.
Rick grabbed his shoulder and turned him around to place a kiss on Daryl's surprisingly soft lips.
Hershel watched them, smiling knowingly. "Was about time," Carol said behind him.
:::::::::::::
"Intruders," Oscar stormed into their cell block. He and Axel were members of their family by now.
"How many," Daryl grabbed his crossbow.
"Two," they ran to the yard.
Daryl climbed up the watchtower. "That's Andrea," he was glad to see her alive.
"Let her in," Rick ordered.
Glenn and Axel opened the gate to let Andrea and her friend in.
"I'm so glad to see you," she hugged Carol and then Maggie. "Let me introduce you to Michonne, she saved my life back then."
"Nice to meet you," Rick offered his hand, she eyed him suspiciously before she shook it.
"Come," Hershel invited them in.
"Where is everyone?" Andrea frowned.
"Dead," Beth answered for them. She held Judith in her arms. "Da," she reached out for Daryl while she gurgled and squealed in delight.
"Wanna play baby gal," Daryl put his crossbow away and took Judith.
Rick smiled at the display in front of him, he loved it when his lover played with their daughter. Yes, Judith was as much Daryl's daughter than she was his.
He wanted to embrace his lover and place butterfly kisses all over his face. "Who is she?" Michonne asked.
"My girl. Lori died in childbirth, Maggie had to cut her open to safe Judith," his eyes never left his little family. Carl had joined them and was now wiggling the toy Daryl had brought months ago.
"Must be hard," Michonne said emphatically.
"We raise her together," Hershel was something like a grandpa, Carol their grandma, Maggie and Beth were their aunts and the boys their uncles.
Daryl was Judith's mum, he would never tell him that but he had the suspicion that Daryl already knew that. For Carl he was a big brother, his hero. Of course Rick was his hero too, he was his father after all but there was something about Daryl Carl adored.
"Merle is alive," Andrea ended the silence.
"What?" Daryl's eyes lit up even more, "Where?"
"He is safe where he is," she stated, there was no chance to get Merle back not as long as the governor was around.
Daryl licked his lower lip before he nodded, he guessed that she had her reasons to put a stop to his hopes.
"He works for the governor, he controls a camp two days away from here. No one can leave once you've joined. We were lucky to escape," she added, it was too dangerous to look for the older Dixon.
"How is he?" Daryl knew they couldn't look for him and that hurt.
"He asked for you," she smiled. "He's worried."
"He's protective. I'm his responsibility."
"He hits you," Glenn stated matter of factly.
"Before I met ya guys he was all I had," his brother was an addict and violent but he was a good big brother without his drugs.
"He abused you," Rick was sure Merle was not a good man.
"He protects me, he's just violent when he takes drugs," he defended his big brother.
He loved Merle no matter what.
"We will get him back one day," Rick assured, he couldn't stand the pain in his lover's eyes.
"I know," he knew that Rick would do everything for him. "Oh, time for a nap," Judith yawned loudly.
Rick chuckled. "Can you take care of Judith and Carl tonight?" he whispered to Carol.
"Of course," she smirked, they deserved some time alone.
"Thank you," he turned his whole attention to Michonne. "Tell me a few things about you."
:::::::::::::
"Where are the kids?" Daryl had cleaned himself up. It was raining for a few days now and they gathered the water.
"With Carol," Rick couldn't believe how handsome his lover was under all the sweat and dirt, although not even dirt and blood could take his beauty away.
Daryl smirked and raised a brow.
"What?" Rick blushed, he felt caught
"We have ta be quiet," Daryl reminded, it was strange but it was the their first time together.
They cuddled and cared for the kids together but they never found the time to actually consume their love.
"Can do that." Rick nodded before he cupped Daryl's cheeks in his hands and kissed him, "and they won't enter this part of the block for a few hours."
Slow and lovingly.
Their first time had to be special, not just a quick fuck.
That would send a wrong message to Daryl.
Daryl's hands explored the warm skin under Rick's shirt. Slender waist but muscular torso, Daryl loved that.
Rick put an end to their kiss and tucked on Daryl's belt loop, guiding him onto the makeshift bed.
Daryl used the chance to get rid of Rick's shirt while the other man hovered over him, fumbling with his belt.
They undressed each other slowly, exploring every inch of their lover's body before they began to pleasure each other.
"Can I?" Rick asked while he hovered over his lover.
"Yeah," he knew his lover sought permission to top.
He didn't mind to bottom but just for Rick.
Rick prepared him carefully, Maggie was so thoughtful to get some lube during the last supply run.
The way Daryl writhed under him was a sight to remember. He was so beautiful with flushed skin and a soft sheen of sweat glittering on his skin.
The scars on his torso and back were beautiful too because they were part of Daryl.
They couldn't be removed so it was better to accept them instead of pitying his lover.
Daryl would never forgive him for that.
Rick swallowed hard to control himself, "Ready?"
"Always," Daryl said huskily.
Rick entered him slowly, it felt so good to have him inside. His lover was rather slender but his cock was perfect.
Daryl had to take a few deep breaths to overcome the pain but the feeling of him was worth it "Move."
Rick nodded and began to trust into him. They faced each other during their love making.
Rick wanted to see his lover's face when he came and not his back.
He was his lover and not his whore.
Taking him from behind would have been impersonal.
"I won't break," Daryl clung to his lover's back, leaving marks on his skin.
Rick kissed him hungrily before he pushed harder and faster coaxing heavy moans out of his silent lover.
"Rick," Daryl whispered lovingly before he tilted his head back and arched his back upward
"Do dat again," he could barely breath.
Rick entered him as deep as he could and aimed with heavy thrusts for his lover's prostate while he applied pressure to his lover's lower belly with one hand.
He loved it to feel Daryl's muscles flex under him.
"Ready?" Rick panted, he could barely hold on anymore.
Daryl nodded and cried out softly as Rick made a few more thrust before he released his seed inside his lover. They couldn't find condoms but they were both clean.
Daryl felt his lover's cock twitch inside him, releasing his hot seed, that was enough to make him come, too.
"Rick," he gasped for breath while he clung even tighter to Rick who slumped onto him after his orgasm.
"God I love you," Rick breathed heavily, he could hear the fast rhythm of Daryl's heart.
He was so different from Lori. Not arrogant or self-righteous. He wasn't ordering him around or tried manipulating him.
No the love between Daryl and Rick was more pure.
"Love ya too," Daryl placed a soft kissed against Rick's forehead, blushing even more.
Rick enjoyed the gesture. Daryl was still uncomfortable to show how much he cared but that was okay. He would learn it.
"We have ta get back," Daryl worried about their friends.
"I know," Rick got up so they could get dressed.
"Thank you for the night," Daryl looked up and kissed Rick quickly before he left.
Rick shook his head, a big smile on his face, "Adorable."
:::::::::::::
"We have to leave," Rick said, he hated that thought.
"Why?" Andrea felt safe in jail.
"We don't have any food left and the supply runs are more and more dangerous. We're running out of stock."
"She's too small," Daryl glared, Judith was 1 1/2 by now.
"She needs food and more than squirrels," Rick hissed.
The mood within the camp was sour and that for days.
They were hungry, thirsty and spent too much time together in confined space.
"He's right," Oscar chimed in. "We have to go," Axel nodded.
"We can look for different shops. Maybe a few miles further to the east or south," Glenn said.
"No, we're going," he made up his mind.
"and then?" Daryl couldn't leave it be.
"We will find a new hideout."
"We can't camp out in the open, what if she cries? She will attract all the biters within a mile," he wanted to protect his family and he couldn't do that somewhere in the woods.
"We have no choice," Rick yelled. "She will starve otherwise and she is my daughter not yours. It's my decision to make," Ricks words stung badly but he hid it well.
Daryl could provide enough food for a few more weeks, he knew what to look for and Rick should know that, "You're restless, dat makes ya tetchy."
"What?" Rick came closer, Daryl gave Judith to Carol. Rick loved him but he could be even more unpredictable than himself at times, "Do you think I jeopardize all your lives because I'm bored?"
"Yes." Daryl knew he crossed a line, "If Lori were still around ya'd stay," that earned him a fist to the cheek.
"He has a point," Michonne interfered. "We have to find a hideout before we all move out," she came to respect Grimes but his temper was unpleasant.
"Let's vote." Andrea raised a hand, "Who's for Daryl and Michonne?"
Apart from Rick and Oscar all hands went up. "It's settled then," she knelt down next to Daryl to inspect his cheek.
He swatted her hand away, "Leave me be."
She obeyed with a heavy sigh.
Their relationship wasn't working for a few weeks now and it was Rick's temper that caused so much pain for Daryl and Carl.
Carl was glaring at his dad from afar, it wasn't the first time he saw his father hit Daryl and he learned that it wouldn't be the last time.
His father was a violent man and so was Daryl but his surrogate father was more controlled.
He made a difference between family and strangers.
His father did not.
"Daryl?" he called out for his friend.
"Yes, kiddo?" Daryl looked up at Carl.
"Can I talk to you?"
"Sure ya can," he got up and walked over to his boy.
"You can't let him hit you," he was angry.
"He doesn't mean it," that was a lie but Rick was Carl's dad, and he was a good father.
"How long will you bear with him?" he loved Daryl but his father wasn't good for him.
"Not long," that was the truth. He knew Rick loved him but his constant yelling and raging during the last few weeks got on his nerves.
"Why don't you fight back?" he would.
"One violent father is enough, ain't it?" Daryl sighed, "I want ta teach ya how ta be strong without violence."
"You're just weak," Carl hissed, a man had to fight. There was no place for weaklings in a apocalypse.
"Is that what ya think? Silence or waiting for the right moment is weak? Not wanting ta hit people ya care for is weak?" he was disappointed.
"Dad wouldn't treat you that way if you had the guts to fight back."
"You're just like ya daddy," Daryl felt as if he failed the boy.
Daryl's own father was a child abuser and he mistreated his ma, and Daryl had sworn to himself that he'd make it better.
His children wouldn't suffer.
They weren't his children, Rick had made it pretty clear but he loved them nonetheless.
"and Merle was right, your just a pussy," Carl wasn't sure what exactly that meant but he had seen the hurt it caused whenever Merle said it.
Daryl's jaw clenched and he left before he did something he'd regret.
:::::::::::::::::::::::
Daryl spent most of his time at the watchtower.
He needed time to think and most importantly time on his own.
They meant well whenever they forced him to talk but he couldn't stand it, not since his talk with Carl.
Rick reminded him so much of his old man at times that he had to ask himself why he chose the cop.
The answer was easy, because he loved him but it didn't make the situation easier.
He promised himself not to repeat his mother's mistakes but he did just that by choosing Rick Grimes.
Rick would never hurt his children therefore he had too much decency.
Daryl couldn't remember a time where Rick had hit Lori, was it because he loved her more than him? Of course he did but it wasn't a reason to hit him.
Was it because he pushed too hard? Talked to much? To less? No, he'd always opened his mouth when he had something to say and spoke his mind.
Or was Carl right? Was it because he didn't fight back? Some people tend to hurt weaker people but Daryl was not weak, just silent. Was it an invitation for Rick to hurt him?
He remembered his momma, how she yelled at his father to stop.
But he didn't, he punched her again and again.
Blood splattered on the floor, on the wall next to her.
After his rant she stood up, patched herself up as best she could and tucked Daryl in.
Singing to him in a soft tone.
She cried while she sang and she clung to his tiny hand.
Merle wasn't at home to help.
"Momma loves ya Daryl," she kissed his forehead before she left.
She left for good, leaving her children with their abusive father.
Daryl felt tears burning in his eyes but he was too stubborn to let them fall.
He missed his mom and he forgave her a long time ago.
Why? He didn't know.
"I'm just like ya," he whispered as he watched Glenn, Maggie and Oscar return.
::::::::::::
"Did you find anything?" Rick greeted Glenn sourly.
"No but we found a hidden road, could lead to a house. We'll try it again tomorrow," Glenn rubbed his eyes. "Good night Rick."
"night Glenn," Rick watched him go.
Glenn, Maggie and Oscar searched for the last four days.
"Would be great if it leads to a house," he heard Carol talk with Daryl.
Hershel forced him to take a break from his watch.
His heart ached, he hadn't spoken to his lover for four days now.
"Yeah," he smiled at her before he returned his attention to Judith, "a new home would be nice, right? With any luck we have a garden and swing."
She clapped her tiny hands and accidently hit Daryl's bruised jaw. "Da, au," she began to pout, tears glittering in her blue eyes.
"'s okay," he embraced her, rubbing her back, "'m fine."
"Da," she pressed a sloppy kiss on his neck.
Coaxing a laugh out of her sad dad.
"Love ya too, baby gal," he assured.
"Soldiers!" Axel yelled, "they're coming," he wasn't sure if he was glad or scared.
"Michonne," Rick ordered her to follow.
"That's the governor and his men, we have to hide," she narrowed her eyes.
"There is no time to flee," they watched while the trucks broke through the fences.
"You have to hide now, you and Andrea. He mustn't find you here," Rick ushered her inside.
"Andrea," Michonne grabbed her hand and dragged her away.
"The governor they told us about. We think it's a bad idea to give away that we know who he is," Rick said including Michonne in his sentence.
"You're right," it was the first time in weeks that Daryl agreed with him.
The blond held their girl close.
"Daryl, I can take her for a while," Carol offered in case they had to fight.
Daryl looked at the baby and argued with himself, he knew he couldn't fight with her but he couldn't protect her either when she wasn't with him.
Carol made the decision for him and took Judith away, "Don't worry." The huntsman nodded.
"Come on," Rick gestured his men to follow him, the women stayed behind.
They head them off in the yard, as far away as possible from their family.
"Survivors," Phillip smiled broadly. "Nice to find living people."
"I'm Rick Grimes, who are you?"
"They call me the governor," his smile firm in place.
"Merle?" Daryl gasped.
"Baby brother?" Merle walked around the truck to get a look at the survivors.
"That's your kid brother?" the governor asked, "Looks like a tough kid."
Daryl narrowed his eyes not liking the guy, "Nice to have ya back man."
Merle shuffled nervously before he decided to screw his worries, and walked to his brother and pulled him into a tight embrace.
Daryl was surprised but returned the hug, "Missed ya too."
They let go of each other, "How long are ya living here?"
"Months," Daryl shrugged.
"Go back to your post Dixon," something within the governors tone was not right and the fact that Merle obeyed instantly was even more suspicious.
Rick couldn't hide his surprise either, Michonne was right the guy was dangerous.
"I'd like to invite you into our little group," Phillip offered. "We live in a town not far from her."
"No thank you," Rick denied. "We hit the road in a few days."
"You can always change your mind, my invitation still stands," a cry interrupted his speech, "You have children."
"Two," Rick swallowed hard, "they are mine."
"You're brave," the governor praised. "Coming out here to protect and hide your loved ones in there. I appreciate that."
"How long will you stay?" there was no way they could fight them off, they were too many and too heavily armed, so they had to play nice.
"One or two days," the governor was truly interested. They seemed strong and hard-charging.
"Welcome, then. To our little home," Rick gestured in the direction of the door.
"Thank you," Phillip nodded.
:::::::::::::::
"She's cute," Phillip tickled Judith. She reminded him of his daughter.
She looked exactly like his daughter when she was a baby.
"Her name is Judith," Rick eyed the man ready to strike in case he laid a hand on her.
"Pretty," he smiled at her.
She frowned.
"You lost an awful lot of people," Merle drawled.
"We lost most of them the same day we lost ya," Daryl leaned against the table, arms crossed in front of his chest.
"Really?" his brother huffed, "Karma came biting ya in the ass."
"Shut up," Daryl said irritated.
Merle slapped the back of his brother's head.
"Don't touch him." Rick hissed, it was terrible enough that he'd hit his lover three times during the past year.
"'s my baby brother. Cared for him all his fucking life." Merle looked amused, "he can take a few to the head, right?"
"I can." Daryl was too proud to surrender in front of the new guys, "ma daddy hit me harder."
"Harder? He put ya into the hospital more often than I can count man."
"Therefore ya broke his bones," Daryl smiled slightly.
"Damn right I did," Merle grunted proudly. "No one gonna hurt ya but me."
"can live with that," Daryl mocked, he was glad to have his brother back.
It was a beautiful sight to see him without his drugs.
"Thank god I'm an only child," the governor stated.
"Me too," Rick wasn't happy with the situation.
"My men can go out with you tomorrow, looking for a new hideout," Phillip observed the other man's reaction.
"Why?"
"Do you really want to run off without a place to stay with a baby?"
"No," Rick denied.
"I give you three man and the Humvee."
Rick agreed, he had no other choice but he hated his decision.
"Take care of her while we plan our next move," Rick put Judith into his lover's arms.
He hated the way the governor looked at her and Daryl would keep her safe no matter what.
"yer a nanny now?" Merle frowned, the last time he saw Daryl interact with the group it ended with yelling, swearwords and the prompt to piss off.
"Took care of her the day she was born. Rick had a break down and couldn't so I did," Daryl shrugged.
"She reminds yer of Joey," it wasn't a question. Merle knew how much his brother loved the little guy.
Sadly he was eaten by his own mother after she got infected.
There was nothing Daryl could have done to prevent that.
"She does," Daryl stroke a bang very gently out of her eyes. "Like ya, sweetheart."
She babbled and clapped her hands in joy telling story after story.
It seemed she took a liking to the older Dixon too after he tickled her.
Merle gave in the urge to use baby-talk once in a while.
She reminded him of Daryl when he was just a toddler.
The others watched the brothers in awe, they were surprised and shocked that the Dixons of all people behaved like loving fathers.
"Miss the old days sometimes," Merle tickled her feet.
"Why?"
"Liked caring for ya," the older Dixon confessed.
Daryl bumped his shoulder against Merle's, "Liked ya for caring."
They fell silent again, enjoying the atmosphere between them.
But they never left the soldiers out of their trained eyes.
::::::::::::::::::::::::::
Daryl, Glenn, Oscar, Merle and two others left hours ago to find shelter and Rick's worry grew with each passing minute. He had a bad feeling and what if his lover and friends were already dead? Shot by the soldiers? Or killed by walkers?
He rocked Judith to sleep while his mind circled around all the possibilities.
"How old is she?" the governor had an unhealthy liking for his daughter and he showed it more and more.
"One and a half."
"Where is her mom?"
"Died in childbirth."
"My wife died in an accident a few years back."
"Sorry to hear that," Rick meant it, he felt that it was the truth.
"Don't be. Your wife is dead too," he fished for information. "It must be hard to raise two children on your own."
"I have help," Rick glared at Carl, ordering him with his eyes to keep his mouth shut. "They're all helping me."
"I see," that made them vulnerable, "a real family."
"Something like that." Rick decided to feed his girl in hope she would finally fall asleep when her stomach was full.
She seemed sad and stopped babbling a while ago.
He was sure she missed her dad.
His pale blue eyes could lighten every mood.
"Dad they should be back by now," Carl tried to act tough around the governor.
He was cool with his soldiers and all.
"I know," he hid the worry from his voice.
"I'm sure they're fine," he ordered his men to keep them alive, for now.
"Speaking of the devil," a young man said as Daryl and the others entered the cell block.
"We were worried," Maggie flung herself at Glenn.
"Sorry," he smiled against her neck.
"Have you found something?" Carol asked.
"We found a farm." Daryl said, the farm was not an option because the governor and his men knew about it, "Enough room for all of us, and a few surviving animals, like chickens."
"Great," she knew they would never head for the farm.
"When do you want to leave?" the governor asked.
"Tomorrow," Rick wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.
"We can help you."
"No thank you, we can handle it."
"And you're sure you don't want to come along?" he wanted that child, with or without her father.
"We prefer to stay among our own." Rick faked a smile, "We don't blend in very well."
"Such a shame," the governor got up. "Kill them but I want the baby alive," he didn't point a gun on Rick because he carried the little girl.
Rick retreated slowly until he was far enough away from the governor to avoid a fist fight, he hoped the man wouldn't shoot at him while he held Judith.
Daryl shot a soldier with his arrow and slit the throat of a second soldier.
Glenn shot the man who tried to shoot Maggie.
"Get away from my family," Daryl yelled from afar, gazing at the governor while he fought a burly guy.
"Your family," the governor said quietly and grinned. "Seems like little Judith does have a mom," but his triumph was cut short as Michonne and Andrea appeared to help them.
"You knew?!" the governor realized. "You lied."
"You're the liar," Rick hissed.
The governor was angry and pointed his gun at the officer, he will die protecting her, he thought and fired.
Rick squeezed his eyes shut and turned around to hide Judith's little body behind his own just like Phillip predicted.
Rick heard the shot and waited but the pain never came, therefore he heard Merle scream and a few more shots.
Rick turned around to see what happened, the cell block was deadly silent.
Merle stood next to the governor's corps, weapon in his hand.
He shot the guy who hurt his baby brother.
Daryl lay on the ground next to Rick and Judith, he was looking at them.
"Daryl," he crouched down next to his lover. "Hold on."
"yall... okay?" he drawled
"We're fine, thanks to you," he checked his lover's wound.
The bullet hit his shoulder and went straight through. "Hershel," he yelled. "Stay with me Daryl. Don't close your eyes. No, NO DARYL," Daryl went limp in Rick's arms.
"No Daryl," he held him close with one arm. "Open your pretty eyes," but he didn't, there was so much blood. The sight made him feel sick.
Carol took Judith to give Rick the chance to hug his lover.
Tears streamed down her face, Daryl was precious to her.
He gave her the feeling that she was still needed as a mom.
The man never learned the meaning of affection and love and he was still struggling with being part of the group and Rick's love.
:::::::::::::
"How is he today doc?" Merle asked, he couldn't get the image out of his head as his brother caught the bullet.
"His fever broke a little and the wound doesn't seem infected anymore. I'd say the moment he opens his eyes he's out of the woods." Hershel patted the older Dixon on the shoulder before he left the cell they needed hope and Daryl needed all the confidence he could get considering his rocky road to recovery. But he wouldn't tell them that, not yet with some luck the kid wouldn't hurt as much as he feared. The aftermath was something Hershel couldn't foresee, it depended on the person.
"So you're my brother's new boyfriend?"
"Yes," Rick held his lover's hand while Judith slept next to him on the bed, Carl was sleeping on the top bed. His son had made a fuss for hours because he felt guilty for hurting Daryl days before he got shot and the guilt was gnawing on his little heart.
"Ya hurt him again and I kill ya," Merle warned, he heard about Grimes's temper.
Daryl had enough violence to endure in his life and Merle made it his task to protect his baby brother.
He was different without the drugs and he would be damned if he didn't use the chance to be the person Daryl loved so much back then.
"That's fair," Rick agreed.
"You ain't got no choice," Merle made his point clear. "See ya later, Daryl," he squeezed his brother's leg before he left.
"Your brother is protective, I have to be very careful. But he is right I have no right to hurt you. I vent my anger on you and that is not fair. You're my partner and not my toy, we are equal. Do you even know relationships of any kind without violence?" Rick talked to Daryl for hours until his lover moved his fingers, "Daryl."
The redneck opened his eyes, the light hurt his eyes, "..."
Rick could see the question in his lover's eyes, "The governor and his men are dead, Merle made sure of that. Maggie got a scratch on her arm and Axel broke his wrist but we are alive.
Only you worried us for a while."
Daryl realized that his lover's eyes were red and puffy, from crying and lack of sleep, "How bad?"
"Gunshot to the shoulder. It should heal with time," Rick assured, "You saved us."
"Can't let ya die." Daryl closed his eyes, the pain was incredible intense, "You've got kids."
"We have kids," Rick corrected.
Daryl opened his eyes, "As far as I remember ya said otherwise."
"I was a dick. Angry at the world, at you and everyone else," the cop sighed deeply. "I'm sorry."
"Carl said I'm weak, 'cause I don't hurt ya. But I don't 'cause I don' wanna," hurting loved ones was comparable with a sin in his eyes.
Rick bit his lower lip, "I don't think you're weak. You are stronger than I. I'm a bad example for our kids. I- I think I lash out on you because I know you're strong enough to take it. Not that it makes it alright. But I know you could fight back."
"Ya would never have hurt her," it wasn't his intention to say it out loud and he wouldn't have if his head wouldn't be so fuzzy.
Rick wasn't sure what to say, "She was manipulative, she was good at telling stories. I yelled at her once, really yelled at her, and she told the neighbor that I drank too much, and that often. I didn't drink. And she would have taken Carl away, forever."
"Knew I dislike her," Daryl mumbled, looking at Judith's sleeping form for a moment.
He had to thank Lori for the little girl, though.
"Yeah, she was... demanding," Rick chuckled sadly.
"Daryl?" they heard Carl.
"Hey, kiddo," Daryl closed his eyes for a moment, his chest hurt.
"I'm so glad," he jumped down the bed and hugged Daryl, carefully. "I'm so sorry."
"It's fine," he put an arm around the kid.
"I didn't mean it," Carl sobbed. "Dad explained how I hurt you, that you did the right thing. I have so much to learn."
"We all have," Daryl felt tired.
"Carl can you leave us for a moment?" Rick asked.
"You're back together, right? You're not angry at Daryl anymore...," he eyed his father suspiciously. Carl made it his task to protect them.
"We are okay, Carl." Rick ruffled his son's hair, "and now go and find Merle. He will be glad to have an ally against me," he chuckled.
Carl nodded and left after he kissed Daryl's cheek. It felt like the right thing to do.
"Merle threatened ya?" there was humor in his lover's voice.
"Threatened to shoot me," Rick confirmed. "I deserve it."
"Maybe." Daryl felt strange, his vision blurred and the pain intensified, "You're forgiven, this time."
"Thank you, there will not be another time," Rick leaned forward to capture Daryl's lips but stopped before their lips met, "Daryl."
He breathed heavily and his gaze was glassy. "Hershel," Rick yelled. "Daryl give me a hint," he begged.
Daryl's lips moved but no sound made it out of his mouth.
Rick guessed that his lips formed the word pain. "Rick what happened?" Hershel put one crutch down.
"I don't know," he picked Judith up to give Hershel more space.
The old man examined the young man and sighed. "His wound is healing and the infection shouldn't be a problem anymore, I hope. But the indications are gone for now...," he had four pills left to get the infection under control and he couldn't use them carelessly. God knows if Daryl needs them again, he thought bitter.
"But?" Rick knew there was more.
"But we don't have enough painkillers. He got the last one hours ago. He is in pain Rick and there is nothing I can do about it," Hershel's heart broke. "He has to endure it. He is strong and with some luck his body will bear the pain."
"If not?" Rick choked out.
"If not it could lead to shock caused by the pain and that could lead to ... cardiac arrest. He lost a lot of blood, his body is weak. I can't promise anything. But I know he's tough. If someone knows how to fight then it's Daryl."
"Yeah," Rick smiled lovingly at his lover, tears stinging in his eyes.
"I give him half an hour before the painkillers lose their effect once and for all," the older man got up and squeezed Rick's shoulder. "Call if you need us."
Rick nodded. "Thank you," he said on autopilot while he tightened his embrace around his daughter and lover's middle. His head rested on Daryl's belly by now.
"Da," she pulled him out of his thoughts. "Your dad is sick and there's nothing I can do."
"I'll find some meds," Merle's voice was determined.
Rick turned around to look at the older Dixon, "The shops are empty."
"We will take a look at the farm again and then we will head south, there should be a town not too far away when I'm correct."
"We?" Rick raised a brow.
"The ch-... Glenn and his girl," he almost let the slur chink slip.
"It's too dangerous, he wouldn't want that."
"Good that he has nothing to say, ain't it?" Merle eyed his brother-in-law. He knew Daryl didn't offer his love recklessly and it was just a matter of time that they reached the old couple stage of their relationship. "What do you want?" the answer was important to Merle.
The answer would mirror Grimes feelings.
"Hell yeah, go and get the best stuff you can find," he stared at Merle, "Save him."
"Always." Merle looked at Daryl, "Why do ya have ta cause trouble all the time?" he sat down on the bed for a moment. "Ya will stay alive, do ya hear me? I ain't shoot ya and ya don't want ta remain a zombie forever, right? So fight," he slapped his brother's cheek softly.
He never learned how to show he cared, all he learned was how to cause pain so he developed different styles of punches over the years.
Daryl recognized them all, the way he punched when he was angry, scared, sad or worried.
His brother knew him well, he lived long enough in Merle's shadow to learn all these things "See ya soon," he got up. "Keep him alive while I'm gone."
"Keep yourself alive to come back," Rick ordered, Daryl would never forgive himself for causing the death of his brother.
They left in hope to find enough meds to safe him.
::::::::::::::::::
"Hush." Rick caressed Daryl's sweaty forehead, "hush, they'll be back soon."
Daryl sweated heavily, his muscles were tense what caused him all the more pain.
"Rick," he whispered.
"I'm here," Rick kissed his cheek. "I'm here."
"Ju-dy," he seemed worried, was he delirious?
"She's here, look. She's fine but she misses you," he put her on the bed, she fell asleep in his arms a while ago and it might help Daryl to have the girl close again.
She clung to her favorite toy and sniffled quietly in her sleep.
"'m tired."
"I know," Rick sighed softly, "the pain hinders you to rest."
Daryl nodded but the motion burned like fire in his shoulder. The tissue around the wound was tender and hurt like a bitch in addition to the extra hole in his body.
But it was worth it, his family was safe.
"Try to breath," Rick suggested, Daryl wanted to chuckle at the thought to breathe through the pain like a woman in labor.
It was kind of hard not to hyperventilate at times, each breath sent a wave of pain through his body but he needed to breath to get at least a wee bit of air into his lungs.
"Chest... hurt," Daryl gasped.
"I know. The bullet missed major organs but it caused a lot of damage in its wake. It grazed your collarbone a bit, for example. Barely missing the artery but you bled out nonetheless." Rick's emotional pain tore on his heart, "'m will ... fine."
"I know," Rick tried to sound confident but his face betrayed him and he knew it.
"Few...days," Daryl's eyes fell shut for a moment, "can do...dat."
"Merle tries to find meds, give them a few hours and they will drug you to the eyeballs with the best stuff you can get," this time Rick was confident and the fact calmed Daryl down.
"Da." Judith sat up, placing her toy on her dad's belly, "da... teddy au," she waved her arm in a way she just could have learned from Daryl. He made the gesture when he wanted people to move, follow or run that depended on the situation.
"your teddy takes dad's pain away?" Rick held Daryl's hand in his own
"yes," she seemed determined.
"Look at her face," Rick said gently. "She is a Dixon," she might have Lori's DNA but she learned from Daryl what it meant to be human. Her personality would match Daryl's when she got older. Rick was sure.
"Thank you sweetheart," Daryl squeezed his eyes shut as a new wave of pain rolled through his chest.
"Au... a-way," she scolds. "Da-da," Judith gave him a look of reproach.
She was Daryl's girl through and through. "There is nothing your daddy can do for your dad."
"Here... that' enough," Daryl gritted his teeth, "damn," he tried hard to stay conscious for a while longer but without success. He hoped to take some of their worries when he stayed awake but he failed them.
"Da," Judith chided, "no-no," she shook her head, "no bye..."
Rick couldn't suppress a chuckle, she rarely talked and wasn't the best at it but he was sure she just gave Daryl one hell of a lecture.
"He will be fine baby girl," Rick caressed their girl, he was sure in a few more months she'd talk their ears off.
"owie," she pointed at Daryl. "ya ..do ...some-tang," her bottom lip began to quiver.
"I'd love to, believe me" he felt terrible, he would have laughed at her tendency to talk like Daryl otherwise.
"How is he?" Carol leaned against the bed frame.
"He was awake for a little while." Rick looked at her, "and our daughter lays the blame on me."
"What?" her gaze wandered to the toddler.
"elp." Judith pointed clumsily at Daryl.
"Oh," Carol was surprised they thought the little girl would need more support to develop more age-appropriate. It wasn't easy to teach a child without books, toys or the chance to go out. "Uncle Merle will help," she soothed.
It was sad that Judith hadn't the slightest idea how animals looked like but she understood the concept of danger and help. She jerked when she heard words of danger or distress and she looked so sad whenever she heard words related to help.
"Mel," she echoed.
"Do you want me to take her for a while?" Carol offered.
"Yes please," he felt guilty enough even without her looking at him and he wasn't the right person to be around at the moment.
Carol tried to pick her up but Judith began to scream clinging to Daryl's hand. "Hush, you'll wake the dead," Rick tried to calm her down while Carol retreated.
"Seems like she wants to stay," Carol sighed. "I wish I had married a man like Daryl. Would have spared us a lot of pain. Sophia would have died with happy times embedded in her memory."
"He liked her a lot," Rick admired Daryl for his courage to search for the girl on his own.
"I know," Carol smiled at her friend. "He's a good man. His life resembled mine, I think that's why we get along so well."
"You saw his scars, didn't you?"
"Yes," she nodded. "I was so thankful and worried that I placed a kiss against his forehead after he got hurt in the woods. He shied away and that was the moment I knew he wasn't used to affection at all."
"It pains me to know parents like that exist. During my time as a cop I saw many children with bruises but I couldn't save them, not even one child," Rick held Daryl's hand even tighter.
"That's because we remain silent," she took every blow her husband directed at her or Sophia and stayed.
"I know," he nodded, "but you, Sophia and Daryl remained strong enough to keep your gentle sides. I mean take Merle and Daryl. Sure Daryl tends to lash out but he cares. He'd never hurt us, he'd rather die. Merle is not so kind."
"I think Daryl is happy for the first time in his life," she stated, "what a sick twist of fate."
"That applies to you, too," it was sad that her freedom was overshadowed by the death of her child.
"I'd rather live in misery with Sophia," she lowered her gaze, "but what's done is done."
"Yeah," Rick kissed his lover's knuckles. "His fever is rising," he noticed.
"I get Hershel."
Hershel examined his friend and was everything but happy.
His wound was infected again and his body was worryingly weak, "I think you should prepare yourself to say goodbye."
Judith mirrored his movements, she shook her little head, "bye nooo."
"I don't give up," Rick stood up and moved Daryl's body a little more in direction of the wall.
Judith cuddled against Daryl's side while Rick lay down himself, balancing on the edge of the bed. "Just a little longer," he was so tired.
After a few minutes he fell asleep.
"Hershel, painkillers," Glenn was the fastest and went in first while Merle and Maggie closed the gates as best they could.
They prayed Daryl was still alive.
"Great." Hershel took the bag, "Painkillers, antibiotics, dressings, IV bags, scissors..., where did you get it?"
"We found a town a few hours from here, there's a drugstore and animal clinic. We've got more in the car," Glenn followed Hershel.
The young Asian was stunned, Daryl's skin was flushed and deadly pale where it wasn't.
Only the rising and falling of his chest indicated that he was alive, he lay so still.
It felt wrong.
"Hey boy, see what we got," Hershel talked to Daryl. "You need to swallow these," he helped him up a little to swallow the antibiotic.
Hershel set up the IV line and inserted the painkiller through the cannula. "Now rest," they watched Daryl for a long time and were relieved as the lines of pain faded from his face.
Rick was so tired that he didn't stir even though they worked right next to him and moved Daryl.
It was a miracle Grimes didn't fall out of bed.
Little Judith had watched them with big eyes, not saying a word.
Rick awoke slowly after a few hours sleep and almost fell out of bed as he remembered what happened. "Daryl," he checked on his lover.
He frowned at the IV bag over his head and followed the tube with his eyes. To his relief Daryl's skin didn't look so sickly anymore and he seemed to be in less pain.
"They found a drugstore and clinic," Hershel heard the ruckus.
"When?" he blinked.
"Five hours ago," the older man eyed them. "He's doing better. I'm sure he will be fine."
"Thank you, god, thank you," tears escaped his eyes.
Hershel nodded and left again to grant Rick some privacy.
"You're the toughest guy I ever met." Grimes brushed his lips over Daryl's, "I love you."
Daryl remained silent but his hand moved clumsily in search of Rick's, the ex-cop took the hand with a tired smile. "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere."
Daryl's body seemed to relax. "Look honey, your dad is strong. He will be well enough to play with you in a few more days."
"Ju... love... da," she put her thumb into her mouth while she rested her head on her dad's belly. Rick caressed her little head until she fell asleep.
"Hershel says he makes it," Carl spent his time with Beth and Andrea, he couldn't stand to see Daryl this way so he bugged Andrea until she told him everything about the months they were apart.
"Yes," Rick beamed.
"Good," he nodded before he got onto the top bed.
Rick stood up, not letting go of Daryl's hand while he did it, and tucked his boy in as best he could, "Sleep well."
"Love you dad," he mumbled before he fell asleep.
"Love you, too, Carl," Rick went back to his previous place on the bed next to Daryl.
After a few more hours Daryl opened his pretty blue eyes. "Hey," he whispered.
"Hey," Rick replied, caressing Daryl's cheek. "I'm proud of you."
"Why?"
"You made it, even though the odds were against you," he placed a kiss on his lover's lip. "You scared me."
"'m sorry," leave it to Daryl to be praised and all that he hears is the blame for scaring him. "Not your fault. You saved us, you fought for us and you will get well for us. There is absolutely nothing to be sorry for," Rick lectured.
A small smile tucked on Daryl's lip, "Love you, too."
"Hope you do," he replied in a fake offended tone.
This time Daryl did smile.
"Sleep." Rick ordered gently, "you need rest. We're here. You won't be alone, never again."
"I know," Daryl whispered before his breath evened out, dreaming from his family and the friends he made. All of them were part of an even bigger family.
They weren't bound by blood but by choice and that was a bond a lot stronger than a simple bloodline.
Daryl and Merle finally found what they have been looking for their whole life.
A loving family.