My First METMA Fic; Lucius Malfoy's Wand

By Ginny :)

I have joined METMA, despite my Subconscious warning me against it. Maybe not 'joined'... perhaps 'subjected myself' would be a better way of putting it, lolz :). I'm still going to focus on my usual series, but I thought I'd give this a shot.

The fic's told from the point of view of Lucius's wand. I was feeling weird when I wrote this, and since the only other thing to do was watch 'The Swan Princess' on TV, I thought this might be marginally more interesting *blasts the stupid Prince Derek into next week* [Derek? Prince Derek? Hahahaha...! Maybe that's a more creditable name in America then it is in London... doubt it, though.... um... who cares?]

I expect someone did this before me, but I haven't read it, so this is just my muse having another of it's pointless ideas. I kinda got some inspiration from The Hitch- Hickers Guide To The Galexy and also a writor called Kaye Umanski, who actually wrote part of a book from the point of view of a witch's broom. Several chapters, in fact.

On with this, my fist ever, METMA fic!!!!

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You have no idea how depressing my 'life' is.

Trust me.

You just can't begin to imagine.

You'd think 'hey, Lucius Malfoy, the renowned Death Eater's wand, possibly the most powerful wand in the universe, he's sure to take great care of it, right?'!

Wrong.

I mean, here I am, one of the most powerful wands in the world, capable of doing all sorts of things- far more interesting things then, say, helping his master try to rule the world; note the words 'his master', as in, not me, as in not he himself, as in Voldemort- but that's all he uses me for. That, and hurting a few people here and there.

Call that job satisfaction? Coz I don't.

It wasn't so bad when we were both younger. He used me to do simple little things like conjuring up food, putting the odd curse on various students, nothing heavy or terribly exciting, but it was fun. A laugh and a chance to get back at that oaf James Potter when he stole me and hid me in the Gryffindor Common Room, to see how my Master would react.

Well, Master stole me back didn't he. Didn't bother to clean me when he got me back, oh no, that would have been too much to ask! Even though I was covered in Potter's greasy fingerprints, did my Master lift a finger to help me? No. And here's me, with this terrible case of wand rot eating away at my insides.

I have tried to signal to him that I'm not quite right inside, but no, Stupid wizards just don't take a hint, do they? Of course not.

I'll tell you whose wand I wouldn't mind being. Voldemort's wand. Revered all over the world for being slick, smart, and all- powerful, more or less. Of course, James Potter's kiddie put paid to some of that, but still...

There's a wand with real ambition, real talent, real expectations of life... everything a wand could want. And a Master whose prepaired to look after it with the respect it deserves.

But no, what do I get used for? I'll tell you what I get used for.

Zapping House- elves who don't do enough work. Levitating Muggles. The odd curse if I'm lucky. Once, after that House elf-- Doggy or Dobby or something-- got set free, I was even used to do the washing up! If that don't beat all I don't know what does! Can you imagine Voldemort's wand being forced to magic up bowls of bubbles and sweet- smelling washing-up liquids? I thought not.

It's all too much for a delecate wand like me to bear.

Tragic, isn't it?
Life. Huh! Don't even talk to me about it.

And here's me, with this terrible case of wand- rot all on my insides.

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THE END!

Ok, that's the end of my first ever METMA fic. Please r/r. I know it wasn't great, but tell me what you think anyway. :)