AN: Posting for a LJ writing challenge called 30 Nights that no longer exists. But I'm going to do the challenge anyways!
Fandom: Kamen Rider W
Title: Unspoken
Theme: 028. I feel safe with you by my side.
Summary: They weren't very good at just talking with each other.
The first night after Philip came back was a flood of emotions for both him and Shotaro. It was late by the time that Akiko and Ryu left the detective agency and they were finally by themselves, since everyone had been in such a celebratory mood and all. It was completely understandable, and yet they had both been waiting somewhat impatiently for everyone to leave.
But when they finally had the chance... there was silence. They had never really been good at just talking to each other, even before. With the mental connection between them, and with as often as they joined their minds and bodies together as Double, usually words weren't always needed. Shotaro's mind was racing with so much he wanted to say and had no idea where to start. Philip seemed to understand, content on waiting to let his partner gather his thoughts.
And so they sat in silence together for quite some time.
Finally, "...I thought that... I didn't know if I could... I couldn't believe that..."
"I'm sorry," Philip spoke up. "I know you've been hurting so much all this time. I wish I could have let you know sooner."
"I could feel your presence, I really did. But I thought I was just imagining things."
"I know." It was the best comfort that Philip could offer. "But now you know that I've been watching. And my half-boiled partner has done a great job taking care of our city."
Their city. Their home. Philip made it back somehow.
"I'm not half-boiled," Shotaro protested, pointedly ignoring the smirk on Philip's face. "But... things are okay again. You're here now, right?"
The silence returned. They sat with each other a while longer before Shotaro eventually made a half-hearted excuse to go to bed. The younger boy agreed, disappearing into the alcove next to Shotaro's desk where his bed still remained exactly as it had been one year ago.
However, neither one of them slept that night, too much on their minds.
The rest of the week wasn't much better. Every night after the first, Shotaro found himself getting up every half hour at times, peeking in to make sure Philip was still there. He knew it was silly, but he couldn't shake the fear that the younger boy would just disappear in the middle of the night, that he was still... dead.
During the day he hid it well enough to everyone besides Philip, whom he almost never let out of his sight anymore. But he tried hard not to make it ilook/i like that's what he was doing; his reputation had to be upheld, afterall. And Shotaro was quite used to running on very little sleep now, having gotten a lot of practice in the last year.
As for Philip... He couldn't be sure if Shotaro was projecting his fear through their mental link or they just had the exact same thought, but Philip was just as scared. What if it was just all a dream, and he still only existed as a composite of data? Not wanting to upset his partner anymore than he already had, he kept the thoughts to himself. He never minded when Shotaro made unnecessary bumps and brushes against him, knowing that his partner was still checking on him, just to make sure. It was comforting to him too, knowing that he had a body again.
Philip knew each and every time when Shotaro checked up on him during the night, and he knew exactly why. He pretended to be asleep, for Shotaro's sake, but couldn't quite hide the circles under his eyes that came afterwards. They never talked about it.
By the end of the week, they were both exhausted. Luckily they weren't too busy with cases, only tending to other daily matters. Akiko left them alone early, making a comment about how she didn't understand boys and wondered when they were going to get their act together. They both ignored her.
That night, Philip waited just long enough to know that the other boy would be tossing and turning again to sneak into his room. He felt Shotaro hold his breath as he climbed in under the covers, pressing close for them to have enough room on the single sized bed.
"Philip, what are you..."
"I know what you've been thinking," he interrupted. "And... I'm scared, too."
The wind howled outside the window, making both of them shiver. Shotaro wrapped his arms around the other boy, his heart pounding.
"I couldn't bear to lose you ever again," he admitted. Philip never answered, so eventually he continued, "I'm sorry if it's my fault you're afraid. It'll just take time."
"...mmm," Philip agreed, fighting to stay awake. "My half-boiled partner is rubbing off on me..."
"I told you, I'm not half-boiled," Shotaro muttered in protest, although he could tell by the other boy's breathing that the words probably weren't heard.
They were still deeply asleep in each others' arms the next morning when Akiko came to open up the agency. After that, like most things between them, it was just silently agreed upon that they would spend every night that way.