Just the two of us [Snowells]
The initial shock had somewhat faded. Now, he was just waiting for permission to go and see Jesse. His small, four year old daughter. Harrison couldn't help but imagining how she must be feeling right now, lonely and possibly scared. Surrounded by unfamiliar faces and cold and unfeeling white walls. It had been six hours since he had arrived in the hospital, five hours since he had heard that he was a widower. Of course that also meant that Jesse from now on had to go on without a mother and Harrison simply didn't know how to tell her this.
Of course he was a brilliant scientist, but he wasn't well-versed when it came to the matters of the heart, not even when it came to his daughter. Even though she was the light of his life, Tess had always been around to have important conversations with her. He was always around playing the goofy father, making the child smile whenever he had a chance.
"Mister Wells?"
He was up from the plastic seat in a heartbeat, standing in front of him was a young doctor with long brown hair and doe eyes.
"My name is Caitlin Snow, I'm your daughter's paediatrician. I am sorry about your wife."
"How is she?"
"Fairly well. Her right wrist was badly fractured and her elbow from the same arm was dislocated. When she got in here she immediately went into surgery and everything is set back into place now. She'll have to wear a cast for the next few weeks."
"Can I see her?"
Doctor Snow just nodded and motioned for Harrison to follow her. They walked through the white corridor in utter silence.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to tell her."
"You'll be fine."
For some reason Harrison very much doubted that. Even though he and Tess had still been legally married, they had separated a few months prior. But that didn't mean that his heart wasn't broken, although he was mourning her as a friend and not as a lover, it still hurt.
Above all that, Jesse's mother was gone and he simply had no idea how he'd had to go about breaking her heart as well.
"Here we are."
He took a deep breath and sniffed, holding back the tears that were already forming in his eyes.
Harrison swallowed hard and then grabbed the doorknob and entered his daughter's room.
She looked so pale and small in the big white hospital bed, his heart immediately sank and he felt bile rising from the pit of his stomach. This wasn't supposed to be happening. He felt sick and wanted to run from it all, but of course he knew that he couldn't. He had responsibilities to fulfil.
"Hey sweetheart…" he whispered, he didn't know how else to start.
Jesse carefully opened her eyes and tried smiling at her father, although that was a hard task, proven the fact that she was still fairly knocked out from the sedative they had given her.
"Daddy…"
He went to sit on the edge of the bed and carefully stroked her forehead, it felt sweaty and several damp locks of hair were clinging to her face.
"I had a really bad dream."
"Oh yeah, do you wanna tell me about it?"
He didn't know how he was doing it, but he was very successful in keeping his tears at bay.
"I dreamt mummy was gone…"
Harrison took in a sharp breath and looked away, he didn't answer.
What was he supposed to say? He sighed and then tried forming words, but when he looked back at Jesse he saw that she had already fallen asleep again. He bowed forward and kissed her hair.
"I'll be back little Quick."
Then he did flee from the room, he pulled the door so hard that it nearly went of his hinges and when he closed it behind himself he nearly collapsed in the hall.
"Oh God I can't do this, I'm going to be sick."
"Hey, mister Wells, please calm down. It'll be okay."
Harrison felt how he was shaking, his breathing was laboured and before he knew it he was on his knees on the linoleum hospital floor, sobbing. He noticed how doctor Snow put a consoling hand on his shoulder. It took him a good five minutes before he composed himself, even five more before he trusted himself to speak again.
"I am sorry. I'm being dramatic. I'm usually not like this."
"Don't apologise mister Wells."
"Please, call me Harrison."
"Harrison, I'm going to blunt with you okay?"
He just nodded in reply and got up from the floor, whatever she was going to say, he knew that she was probably going to be right.
"You are not the first father who I've seen collapsing on these floors for the exact same reason alright? You're not an exception and if they could do it, I'm sure that you can too okay?"
"But she's asleep now."
"Then wake her up Harrison. You know you have to do this."
He nodded and got back in the room, Harrison took one deep breath before he carefully stroked Jesse's cheek, quietly urging her to wake up.
"Daddy?" she mumbled and he faked a smile.
"Scoot over."
She sleepily gazed at him but then eventually did as she was told, Harrison went to sit on the bed as well and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.
"Remember your dream? It wasn't a dream darling."
"You mean the one about the flying ponies?"
Harrison choked back a sob and stroked Jesse's hair, he hated himself for having to destroy all of her innocence like this.
"No sweet, the one about mummy."
"What do you mean daddy? Isn't she coming back home?"
He merely shook his head, unable to think up something decent to say.
"But, but… I mean… Why?"
Jesse was sobbing then, Harrison pulled her in his lap, minding her right arm that was wrapped in a pink cast. He shushed her all the while stroking her hair and back.
"Shush little Quick, we'll be fine."
"What happened daddy?"
"Y'know how people need their hearts to stay alive darling? You know about that right?"
Jesse nodded, always happy showing of the knowledge she had picked up from everyone.
"Well, mummy and you were in the car accident and your arm broke, but for mummy it was her heart. And umm, I suppose that know she's up with the stars."
"Is mummy the brightest one dad?"
"Of course lil' Quick."
Jesse seemed to have calmed down a little, every now and then a small sob broke out again but she definitely had become less restless and was now relaxing in her father's embrace.
Harrison was nearly dozing off when a panicked squeak from his daughter reached his ears.
"Daddy, will your heart stop working? Is yours broke too?"
Suddenly she was bawling again, gasping for air between sobs, Harrison couldn't do anything but pull her closer to him and rocking her back and forth.
"No Jesse, daddy is fine alright. Here, put your hand on daddy's heart. You can feel it beating right, I'm okay. You can feel that can't you? Shall we check your heart as well lil' Quick?"
She hesitantly nodded and Harrison took her small hand in his calloused palm and put it over her heart, she sighed when she felt the slightly erratic beating.
"We'll be fine little one. Just the two of us, we can make it if we try…"
