Haven't written cheshxalice stuff in SO (too) long. OS sorry for not thanking everyone who favorite, commented on my other ff cheshxalcie works! I haven't had a lot of time but I just want to make a quick shout out to all those who favorite and commented on my stuff, it's much appreciated ^^!
It was raining. It was raining and pouring, the large droplets of cool water dowsing her already dark blue dress and making it darker. The rain did nothing for the bloodstains in her stark white apron, which had not even begun to fade.
Dark strands of hair stuck to her face and neck but the silent girl took no notice whatsoever. Her green eyes were fixated on some point in the far distance, gazing at something no one else could see but her.
"Alice? Alice, what are you staring at so intently?"
The cat's feral and throaty purr that usually sent shivers down Alice's spine did not stir her this time. The cat almost frowned at this, however then he remembered that he could not frown. He was the Cheshire cat after all, doomed to eternally be grinning no matter how dreadful he may feel.
It was a long time before she replied, and during the silence only the rain and distant thunder could be heard. The cat, much to his dismay, was now thoroughly soaked, his dark gray pelt slick with rainwater. This kind of weather always soaked him to the bone rather quickly, causing him to sneeze violently for days on end.
He was about to duck under a shrub for cover but Alice's quiet voice, usually shrill and loud and full of command, stopped him.
"Doorways Chesh…so many doorways…can't you see them Chesh? Right there?" She raised her arm slowly, her skin paler than normal. It reminded him of soaked paper and the skin of a recently dead corpse.
The cat sauntered up to her, rubbing against her striped stocking clad leg. "Alice love, there are no doorways anywhere."
Her deathly white right index finger pointed straight ahead, at whatever she had been staring at in the far distance. "Yes there are." Her voice was still quiet and breathy, quieter than a whisper. She never blinked, her pupils perfectly still.
"Everything is dancing and laughing, everything is so bright and far away…" She finally turned to him then, her wide green eyes that he was used to seeing so fiery were now very subdued. It was like the rain had seeped into her very soul, chilling and dousing her inner fire.
"My dear, what do you speak of? There is nothing but the dark, the cold, and the rain. Everything is as it should be. Wonderland is sleeping now, waiting for the storm to pass."
She laughed then, her musical voice tilting and harsh, hollow and without any humor. Faint alarms starting going off in the back of the cat's mind, but he could not make head or tails of them. "What storm, Chesh? What rain? There are so many doorways in the distance, and behind them there is light and sound and laughter. I want to enter them Chesh. I can hear them calling me, singing to me….I must to go to them."
She started walking forward; her gaze again fixated to a point in the distance, her heeled boots sinking in the mud. With a faint sense of alarm the cat reached forward, his outstretched paw morphing into a hand and gripping her arm gently.
She paused, turning slowly, her glass green gaze locking with his. "What are you doing, cat? Are you trying to stop me?"
Cat. Chesh felt a twinge in his heart at that word, a word that he despised. Not Chesh, but cat. Chesh was not a normal name. But it was at least a name, and not the label of an animal that separated humans and beasts.
A label that separated him and Alice.
He did not let go, the gold pools of his eyes burning intensely into her green ones. She tried to break away from him, but he brought his other hand up to her face and would not let her eyes stray from his.
What he saw in the depths of those green pools nearly took the very breath from his lungs. It was sadness, the deepest and most heartbreaking sadness. Pain, despair, and hopelessness swirled in those eyes that now seemed dead, their fire and spark gone.
It almost reminded him of…..of darker times that he dared not think of unless they became reality.
"Alice, love, talk to me….what is wrong?"
Rainwater continued to streak down her pale cheeks, but he could not tell if the water was rain or tears. "Everything is wrong, Chesh. Everything is so, so wrong." She gestured to the world around her with her hand, another broken laugh bubbling form her lips. It sounded more like a sob.
"Everything is not as it should be. I thought it would be at first when I killed the doll maker and got rid of all the corruption…but it isn't. I was foolish and naive to think it would." Alice shut her eyes tightly as if concentrating, then opening them again.
Her eyes were still ever so sad.
"I thought I'd picked up the pieces Chesh. I thought I'd finally put myself back together again, I thought I'd finally found a place where I finally belonged! I thought…oh and how I wish…that I'd finally found my true Wonderland."
He rubbed his thumb in gentle circles on her cheek, never breaking his gaze from her own. He didn't even notice the rain anymore, even as he shivered. " You did find it Alice! Its right here."
Right here with me, were his unfinished words.
Alice shook her head, wincing as if something pained her. "No Chesh, I only thought I did. I'm still broken, my dear cat. The pieces I thought I'd put together are still shattered and apart. I am only a former shell of who I once was. I'm empty now, empty and fading."
Every word she spoke with her melodious voice was like a glass splinter in his heart. She raised her hand, placing her cool palm against his cheek. Her touch alone sent dizzying and toxic sensations throughout his body, causing shivers that were not from the cold. Removing his own hand from her face, he placed it over the delicate hand that rested on his own cheek.
"I'm sorry Chesh I…I really wished that I could have stayed. But there is nothing for me here anymore."
He growled in frustration, even as emotion welled up into his eyes. "I'm here Alice! Isn't that enough?" Despite his aggressive question, on the inside he was trembling in fear of her answer.
A choked sob escaped her lips, which were blue now. "No, no it isn't. I wished it was, but it isn't. Nothing can put me back together Chesh, not even you."
The twinge he had felt before turned into a ripping, tearing pain that almost caused him to jerk back from her as if she had slapped him. But he did not loosen his grip on her arm, afraid of what would happen if he did.
Chesh's usually confident voice came out pleading and desperate, but his pride was of no importance to him now. What did pride matter if an even more important part of him was missing?
"No Alice, please. Please don't leave me."
She turned away, tearing her gaze away from his, her hand slipping form under his own. Chesh felt as if something had been ripped away from his very being. Alice tugged her other arm out of his grip, and he made no move to stop her, feeling numb.
She took a few more steps forward, her heels squelching in the mud as he watched. The cat was frozen to the spot as if something was weighing down on him, pressing in on him from all sides. It had suddenly become very hard to breathe.
Her dark hair no longer stuck to her face, instead floating lightly about her shoulders. "I can hear them, Chesh. I can hear her. I can hear my sister. I have to go now." She turned to look back at them, her eyes bright and no longer so sad-looking. Alice almost looked happy.
His pain had turned to a dull buzzing feeling, as if none of this was happening and he was still his cat nap, and this was all a nightmare.
A nightmare Chesh really hoped he would soon wake up from.
His own voice had become soft, filled with emotion he feared would overwhelm and shatter him. "Where will you go?"
She smiled a dazzling white smile; a truly heart wrenching smile that Chesh could not look away from. In that exact moment the rain seemed to evaporate, the clouds starting to clear and the sun starting to dawn over the green horizon.
"Somewhere nice, I hope."
Alice fully turned to him now, her back facing the rising sun. Her clothes and hair were dry now, fluttering in a warm breeze. Her eyes were clear and bright, the bloodstains from her stark white apron gone.
"You see Chesh? It's not raining. The storm has passed." She shut her eyes then, tilting her face up towards the sky that was now turning blue, and let out a soft, echoing sigh.
Goodbye, dear cat-no, not cat-my dear Chesh. My dear, dear Chesh…
I wish things could have been different.
He shut his eyes, knowing that this was the end and there was nothing he could do.
I do too, love. I do too…
And when the cat opened his eyes again, all he saw was the dazzling light of the sun, a flash of blue wings, and the sound of distant laughter on the air, like wind chimes in the breeze after a storm.
It was only then that Chesh finally let the emotion welling up inside him to spill out the corners of his eyes, each drop that ran down his face sparkling in the sunlight like a diamond.
He was about to turn away when a flash of light caught the corner of his eyes, and he quickly swiveled around, his eyes searching the horizon.
There was nothing there but the sun, but for a split second, through the blue of his tears, the cat thought he glimpsed something.
To this day he still did not know quite what it was, but he liked to think it was a door closing.