AN: Hello all! This is my very first story (yay!) and I hope that you enjoy reading from a VA perspective that we don't see a lot of.

Just and FYI: I do not like Tasha Ozera. Not even a little bit. She is probably my most disliked character in all of the VA series (including Bloodlines). But I still did enjoy writing this and I hope it captures even a little bit of what you believe happened.

If you like Tasha then please don't take unnecessary offence to this. This fanfic makes her seem a little bit more sinister than what we usually see in Tasha (besides the end when she went cray), but it doesn't put her down in any way. It just recaps Queen Tatiana's murder and a few other things from her POV.

Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Vampire Academy or any of its characters. Everything belongs to Richelle Mead.

"Please Ethan."

"I wish I could Tash, but this is the queen we are talking about."

Ugh. I'd spent weeks and weeks talking and flirting with this guy, and for what? He was still completely loyal to his precious queen. My blood began to boil just thinking about it. Dhampirs sacrifice everything for Moroi; their time, their skills, their lives, and they do it willingly. Like brainless robots just following orders. Then Tatiana goes and passes this age law, sending children into the throws of battle, and that still isn't enough to get them to revolt! What was wrong with these people? Easy Tasha, I told myself. You still have a mission here.

I took a step forward so that Ethan and I were inches apart, and placed one hand on his chest while draping the other over his shoulder, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. I felt him shudder. I continued to crank up the charm and flirty body language by batting my eyes and putting on the most man-eating smile I could conjure. The guy had to either be blind or playing for the other team to not give into this.

"Please," I pouted. "It is very important. I won't be more than 10 minutes. I just need to talk to her. Then afterwards we could grab a coffee, or dinner, or… something."

I left "or something" up to his imagination. Men are egotistical enough to assume that they have a shot in bed, but really this was all just an act, and he was eating it up. I could feel his heart speed up under my gaze. He was officially wrapped around my finger.

"Okay," he finally said. "Just 10 minutes. This had better be as important as you say it is."

"It is. Trust me."

"I do trust you," Bad choice on his part. "And I'm going to take you up on that dinner offer."

"I would love that," I lied, kissing his cheek.

His eyes brightened and I shot him one last smile before I disappeared down the hallway towards the queen's chambers. Poor guy. I almost felt bad for deceiving him. Oh well, his feelings were just collateral damage as far as I was concerned. A means to an end. I had no real interest in him. Not while he was alive and well.

Dimitri.

My heart fluttered a little just thinking about him.

I had met Dimitri while he was still a novice many years ago. He had just happened to be visiting the Moroi royal court for a few weeks when my brother and his wife decided to turn into Strigoi. He was kind, respectful, and, unlike everyone else at court, he didn't seem to believe that Christian and I would suddenly decide to follow in my brother's footsteps. He'd even watched Christian for a few hours while I sat though a meeting in which the topic of discussion was how the guardians were going to hunt down and kill my nephew's parents.

After that we didn't see each other for a few years, but on one fateful day I ran into a very old friend, Ivan Zeklos, and he was being guarded by none other than Dimitri. Dimitri, who was no longer a novice and was all grown up, satisfying the lustful eyes of many women – myself included – with his mature and toned features. I started to hang out with Ivan more and more after our reunion which in turn caused me to spend more time with Dimitri. We became close, Dimitri and I, and as time passed I found myself falling in love with him.

Sadly, I didn't know if my feelings were returned. Guardians seemed to always keep their emotions pent up. So I decided to make the first move and ask him out on a date. And I would have… if Ivan hadn't died. When Ivan died – or rather, was killed – everything changed for Dimitri. He became even more stoic, more closed off, more...haunted. I couldn't ask him out so soon after this tragedy. He'd turn me down in a second. He needed time to heal. Thankfully, fate had a plan and made St. Vladimir's Academy, my nephew's school, Dimitri's new assignment. With him placed so conveniently all I'd had to do was wait for the right time to approach him. And I did give him all of the time he had needed to grieve and move on.

But I'd waited too long.

By the time I'd deemed it safe to offer him a life changing proposal that I knew he wouldn't be able to refuse, someone had already sunk her underage talons into Dimitri. My Dimitri. Without knowing that his heart was no longer up for grabs, I made him my offer, thinking that he'd take a day or two to mull it over and approach it at every angle: the Dimitri way to do things. But instead, a week later, I was turned down.

"I'm sorry Tasha, but no."

"'No'?" I immediately knew it was because of her. For the past week I'd been noticing Dimitri's inappropriate feelings for his student Rose. I'd finally put all of the pieces – the way he would talk to her, the way he would talk about her, the way his face would light up at the mere mention of her name – into the puzzle. And it looked nothing like the picture I'd imagined. "Dimitri, you need this. You can't stay here. What if you two get caught?"

He didn't even look surprised that I knew. He'd been sloppy. What with his hesitation towards me, gravitation towards Rose, and the near desperate and frantic way he searched for her when she and some other students, my nephew included, went missing.

"Then, I suppose, we get caught," he said. "I can't leave now, Tasha. Rose needs me."

I need you.

"What about the life we could have together? Rose can't give you the things I'm offering. Don't you want kids? A wife? Rose is seventeen. Seventeen, Dimitri! A teenager! Sure, that will change in the next few years, but she can never be your wife. Not to mention the impossibility of a family. You have no guarantees of having her as a part of your life, romantically or otherwise. And if you both do end up guarding Vasilisa together, the chances of you being able to have the relationship you want are beyond slim. Near impossible. You're only hurting yourself by staying." My voice only sounded slightly frantic, but I'm sure he picked up on it, being a guardian and all.

"No Tasha, I'd be hurting myself if I left. My life would turn into one big 'what if' question. You need to know that I am very grateful for you. Offering me this chance was beyond selfless. But I can't willingly create a life with you after having met the love of my life. It would tear me up inside untill I became nothing more than the shell of a man."

So the truth came out. He actually loved her! I felt tears forming so I looked at the ground. I didn't want to humiliate myself further by crying. "What if...what if I believe you to be the love of my life?" I mumbled, pushing back the tears.

He didn't answer for a few moments. He was probably a little shocked. I mean, after years of knowing him and calling him friend, I had just told him that I was in love with him.

"Tasha," he said carefully. "You must know that I believe you to be a truly amazing woman, but I -"

"No, It's fine," I told him, cutting him off. There was no easy way to tell someone you didn't love them. Just like there was no easy way to hear it. Besides, the message was coming in loud and clear so there was no need to make him finish. My heart had taken a beating and one more sucker punch would make it shatter. "It's not like we have the luxury of choosing who we fall in love with, right? If you...love Rose, then...I suppose -"

"'If' doesn't exactly factor in when it come to my feelings for Rose. And while my love for her is… inconvenient" - You can say that again. - "I wouldn't trade it for the world, nor could I if I wanted to. She has ensnared me; heart, mind, body, and soul. Going with you would leave us both impossibly unhappy, unsatisfied, and resentful. And I can't do that to you.

After that I'd spent one more week with Christian, just to make sure he was alright, then went back home and tried to move on with my life. I couldn't. I thought about Dimitri all of the time. I would spend days on my couch crying, eating nothing, while that teenage slut got all of my Dimka's attention. I suppose I should have gotten mad at Dimitri. He was the one who turned me down. He was the older instructor who should've ended it before it began. He was the one who had the option to leave and didn't. But instead, I turned my anger on Rose. She stole Dimitri from me. She ruined my chance at happiness. She did this to me. I decided that I would destroy her. I didn't know when and I didn't know how, but I would ruin her life and gain my Dimka in the process.

Later, I heard that he had been turned into a Strigoi, and my world came crashing down. I was completely crushed. The love of my life was evil and undead – dead as far as I was concerned. My revenge fantasy wasn't even worth it anymore. Not without Dimka. A few months later I was at court promoting the use of defensive magic when everyone went into an uproar about the last Dragomir being abducted by Strigoi along with an Ozera. When I found out that it was Christian, I immediately volunteered to go with the guardians to get them back—being a fire user has its perks when facing Strigoi, seeing as incineration is one of the three ways to kill them. We eventually did rescue Vasilisa and my nephew, thank God, but we managed to do something else entirely in the process – or rather, Vasilisa did. In an amazing and supernatural display of spirit magic, the Dragomir Princess returned a Strigoi to its original state: a dhampir. And not just any dhampir, Dimitri. My Dimitri. He was Dimitri again! Dhampir again! Alive again! But...so was Rose. Sure she was in a relationship with someone else and Dimitri claimed he was too racked up with guilt to feel anything, but I wasn't naive. They would find each other eventually, overcoming and giving up everything for each other. I couldn't let that happen. Fate hadn't given me this second chance with him so I could screw up again. I was willing to do anything, no matter the cost. I had made that promise to myself years ago when Vinh was killed, and I would uphold it now.

The only question was how to enact this revenge fantasy. Its not like I could just go up to Dimitri and start singing Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne and expect him to comply. No, I had to take out the very root of the problem or it would keep growing back like a weed. So, being the root of my problem, I had to get rid of Rose. It just so happened that I had been planning someone else's demise around this time, the Queen's to be more specific, and now, well, now I had a scapegoat. I'd make it look like she had killed the queen. Two birds with one stone.

When I neared the queen's chamber door, I put on my gloves (can't have people finding my finger prints) and turned the lavish, gold knob. I almost laughed at how easy this would be as I slipped into her suite silently. It was late for Moroi, daytime for humans, but I knew the queen would have tinted windows and heavy curtains, making her room black as night. Once inside the room, though, I noticed that there actually was a light. It was coming from a hallway that branchedoff from the master bedroom – the room I was in now. I had never been here before so for all I knew it could have lead to a bathroom, another section of the palace, or a torture chamber. It didn't matter of course because Tatiana would be going to bed soon. I just had to wait her out. Ethan would accept any excuse I made as to why I took longer than I intended. So I got into a wardrobe that stood near her bed. From here it would be easy to jump out and take her by surprise as she was getting ready to go to sleep.

"She isn't as bad as you think."

My body tensed. That wasn't Tatiana's voice. This voice was lower and more masculine. Someone was with her. I had to get out of here. There was no way I could overpower both Tatiana and her lover without one of them escaping and alerting the guardians—not to mention I had NO desire to witness what was surely about to go down between them. I wanted to try and sneak out, but before I could move a muscle I heard footsteps and Tatiana's voice getting closer, coming towards the master bedroom. I was trapped.

"I highly doubt that. She has a horrid attitude, she is very grotesque and improper, and she has yet to learn the art of silence."

"But she is also very good at what she does."

"That is true in a sense. She knows how to fight, and she does it well. She knows how to protect Moroi, but her methods are still impulsive and many times ludicrous."

"I can't argue with you there," the male voice laughed. "But again, she's good at it. Her methods might be crazy sometimes, but she always gets results. Rose never holds back."

Rose? They were talking about Rose! Well, that was ironic considering she was a big part of why I was here. I suddenly became angry that Rose was always the center of attention. Even here, of all places, in a conversation between the queen and her boy toy. Why does everyone care about Rose Hathaway so much?

"I know, I know," Tatiana sighed. "Which is why it is very important that you get that letter I gave you to Miss Hathaway. I may not like her personally, but I feel she is the only one who will put in the time, effort, and care that is necessary in this situation. She loves Vasilisa too much to let something like this go without action. My last session with your Aunt has left me unnerved...action needs to be taken now more than ever."

What? Why did they have to be so vague? If something was going on with Lissa, I needed to know about it. She was a catalyst for change, and my only chance at power in the Moroi world. Nothing could happen to her.

"She will probably come to you and demand answers," the man informed her.

The queen huffed. "In a repulsive and exaggerated display no doubt, but I will none the less provide answers for her, and any resources she will need to complete this task."

"That's one of the things I love about you. You're so generous."

The queen gave a delighted yelp as the man picked her up and placed her on the bed. I could hear the faint sounds of kissing and soft moans. Oh Lanta! I did NOT want to be here for this! Thankfully Tatiana ended it.

"Stop it, Ambrose," she laughed. "I have a counsel meeting very early in the morning. I can't do this tonight."

"That's the problem being involved with the queen," he sighed. "You're always too busy for me."

"As queen I have responsibilities that need fulfilled. My time is never my own and my windows of opportunity are very limited. I do, however, have a window tomorrow. Be here at 10 'o clock sharp."

"Yes, my queen."

There were footsteps and then a door opened and closed. Abrose was gone. Tatiana was alone. Soon after, I heard her lie down and pull the layers of silk covers up. I decided that I'd wait a minute longer to let her settle down, making her more vulnerable, but, ultimately, this was it. I was going to avenge every dhampir, non-royal, and outcast tonight. Those of us who had no voice and were forced to simply comply to royal judgment. No, not anymore. Tatiana was doing everything wrong. The Strigoi would kill us all under her rein. She wouldn't let Moroi get into the game by using one of our best asset: our magic. She was even against us learning simple hand to hand combat. As if we didn't have the right to defend ourselves. And the things she was doing with the dhampirs were even worse. How could she possibly have thought that sending sixteen year old children out into our Strigoi filled world was a good idea? They'd be slaughtered. She was using all of out resources and assets incorrectly and unjustly. She couldn't be trusted to rule us. She would ruin us all. She had to be stopped, and I seemed to be the only one willing to do what was necessary. I was doing the right thing. I was saving our world.

When I was sure that she was comfortable and content, I reached into my jacket for Rose's silver stake—retrieving it had been all too simple for James. I smiled as I turned it over in my hand. This weapon would kill the queen and Rose, the two people I hated most in this world, in one fell swoop. I could kiss it but that would put my saliva on the murder weapon. Adrenaline pumped through me as I readied myself for my grand entry. Unfortunately I was so focused on my mission that I didn't realize my breathing had become heavy to keep up with my pulse which was beating rapidly with anticipation.

"Who's there?" Tatiana demanded in a queenly voice, refusing to be intimidated.

No waiting now. This was my only shot before she called the guardians in here. I burst out of the wardrobe and was on top of her in seconds, holding the old woman down easily.

"Natasha! How dare you-"

"Save it Highness," I growled, shoving a sock, that I'd brought for this very reason, into her mouth. "You've failed us as queen. You've brought this upon yourself." Her eyes glared at me unflinchingly, and for some reason it made me angry that she wasn't afraid. I raised my stake, ready to plunge it into her heart. "Enjoy Hell."

Suddenly she spat out the sock, hitting me in the face, but rather than yelling for help she replied in an even tone. "I suppose I'll see you there, Lady Ozera."

I shoved the sock back in her mouth with renewed hatred, and brought the stake down, piercing her chest. Her cry of pain was muffled by the sock. However, the stake didn't reach its destination quite yet – I wasn't quite strong enough. So I had to use both of my hands in order to finish pushing it into her heart. The pain had to be excruciating, but the sock did its job so only I could hear her screams. Unfortunately for her, I didn't care if she suffered. Though eventually her heart gave up it's fight to keep pumping, her breathing stopped, and everything went limp.

I got up, leaving Rose's stake in her chest for the guardians to find, took the sock, and went to her bathroom to make sure there was no blood or signs of a struggle on me. A little bit of blood had splattered onto my shirt so I zipped up my jacket, concealing it. Perfect. Turning off the bathroom light, I made my way to the door, and as I passed her bed I took a moment to smile at the scene before me.

"Ding dong the royal witch is dead," I whispered. Then I left room to go on my date with Ethan.

AN: So...what did you think? Please comment and/or review. And Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my first fanfic!

I do plan on posting more stories in the future so if you liked this one then stay tuned for more!

Have a fantastic day!