Content: Rated K-plus for scary situations and violence; Monk/Get Smart Crossover; Poetry/General (Non-Rhyming, Sixteen-Syllable, Irregular-Meter Quatrains and Octaves)
Summary: A poem that is not as much "Elizabeth Barrett Browning" as it is "Robert Frost." Actually, it's more of a "Randy Disher project." Contains spoilers. Rated K-plus for scary situations and violence.
Author's Notes
I have read posts online about people comparing Monk to Sherlock Holmes and Columbo, but I actually have found that Monk also has a lot in common with Get Smart. Sometimes Adrian Monk is like Maxwell Smart; Sharona Fleming, Natalie Teeger, and Trudy Monk like Agent 99; Capt. Leland Stottlemeyer like the Chief of Control; and Lt. Randy Disher, Gail Fleming (played by Amy Sedaris), and Chet Walsh (played by Steve Monroe) like Agent Larabee. But there's a bit more to it than that.
I've noticed a pattern with certain TV shows where pairs of characters have a lot in common with each other and with other pairs of characters who have a lot in common. In Get Smart's case, the synchronous twosome is Max and Larabee. Technically, Monk and Disher aren't the synchronous twosome of Monk. But Monk does use a recurring theme of synchronicity: sisters Sharona and Gail Fleming; brothers Adrian and Ambrose Monk; Adrian Monk and Harold Krenshaw, who were both patients of Dr. Kroger and later Dr. Bell; Mega-Mart employees Morris and Ronnie; and Kevin Dorfman and his relatives.
This poem contains the parallels that stood out to me the most.
In Memory of Edward Platt, Robert Karvelas, Don Adams, and Stanley Kamel
How Is Monk Like Get Smart? Let Me Count the Ways
1 It didn't start out easy for Adrian Monk and Maxwell Smart.
The Captain wouldn't listen to Monk; Smart gave the Chief big headaches.
Disher took Leland's side, Hodgkins and Larabee in the background.
Two women were paid very little—Monk's money, Smart's attention.
2 I shall begin with the daft, "Mr. Monk Goes to the Asylum,"
When Manny thought that Santa was coming soon. "It's August," Jane said.
I shall compare it to the complicated "A Tale of Two Tails,"
Where there was a Santa Claus in August—desperate Maxwell Smart.
3 Then there is the unlikely "Mr. Monk and the Billionaire Mugger."
After Monk broke his lamp, he bought three more; two of them are backups.
I shall compare it to the secret "One Nation Invisible,"
When Max knocked over lamps—twice invisible and once visible.
4 Things get interesting with "Mr. Monk and the Other Woman."
When Mr. Monk met Monica Water, suspected murderer,
He started to find her attractive because she was like Trudy.
When Monk was convinced that she did it, he thought she poisoned his food.
I shall compare it to the fatal "And Only Two Ninety-Nine,"
When Maxwell Smart was thinking that Ninety-Nine was not Ninety-Nine.
"She would never prepare a big breakfast for me," he told the Chief.
The real Ninety-Nine learned that the fake Ninety-Nine poisoned Max's food.
5 I shall continue with the clean "Mr. Monk Takes a Vacation,"
When Benjy told her mother and Mr. Monk he saw a murder.
Sharona thought that he was imagining things, but Monk didn't.
Benjy saw the body again, but it disappeared again.
I shall compare it to the ludicrous "The Day Smart Turned Chicken,"
When Max kept seeing the same cowboy dying over and over.
And I shall compare it to "Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron,"
When the Chief found it hard to believe that Max saw the Red Baron.
6 I shall continue with the shaky "Mr. Monk and the Earthquake,"
About a woman who, using a bust, made herself a widow.
I shall compare it to the ironic "Widow Often Annie,"
Disher and Larabee were more recognizable than they thought.
7 I shall continue with the vexing "Mr. Monk and the Airplane,"
When Monk was trapped in the airplane's bathroom, and Sharona saved him.
I shall compare it to the mysterious "Closely Watched Planes,"
When Max was trapped in the airplane's bathroom, and Ninety-Nine saved him.
8 I shall continue with the headstrong "Mr. Monk Goes Back to School,"
When Mr. Monk took a long time writing his name on the chalkboard.
I shall compare it to the complicated "A Tale of Two Tails,"
When Maxwell Smart wrote his name on the chalkboard with invisible chalk.
9 I shall continue with "Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater,"
When actress Gail Fleming was accused of murdering Hal Duncan.
In the modified and unusual "The Day They Raided Knights,"
Like Gail, Larabee also had experience acting on stage.
Now I shall compare "Theater" to "What's It All About, Algie?"
Both Larabee and Monk were skeptical about somebody's age.
And now I shall compare "Theater" to "Hurray for Hollywood."
Both Maxwell Smart and Adrian Monk pretended to be actors.
10 I shall continue with "Mr. Monk and the Missing Granny"
By comparing it to the undignified and urgent "Satan Place."
Both Julie's nana and the Chief were kidnapped by two people.
Julie hesitated with the phone call, and so did Hodgkins.
Monk was told to come alone, and Max decided to go alone.
Charges have been pressed against the leader of the Lightning Brigade
I shall also compare "Missing Granny" to "The Day They Raided Knights."
The Chief of Control, Larabee, and Disher were disguised as women.
11 I shall continue with the lame "Mr. Monk and the Captain's Wife,"
When Disher had some theories about why the perp left bare footprints.
I shall compare it to the agonizing and routine "Greer Window."
Disher had illogical theories like Gail and Larabee.
12 I shall continue with the deceptive "Mr. Monk Gets Married."
A ring got stuck on Sharona's finger; soap was used to get it off.
I shall compare it to the sticky "Diamonds Are a Spy's Best Friend."
A ring got stuck on Max's finger; soap was used to get it off.
13 I shall continue with the mixed-up "Mr. Monk Takes Manhattan,"
When the Latvian ambassador was wearing someone else's coat.
I shall compare it to the likewise mixed-up "And Baby Makes Four"
When Maxwell Smart and Simon the Likable had each other's coats.
14 I shall continue with "Mr. Monk and the Girl Who Cried Wolf,"
When Sharona saw, in the garage, a dead man wearing cowboy boots.
But when the police investigated, they didn't believe her.
She saw the body in a bathroom. Once again, no one believed her.
Stottlemeyer suggested that Sharona take some time off.
But Varla wasn't nearly as understanding a nurse as Sharona.
This situation is also like "The Day Smart Turned Chicken"
And the hard-to-believe "Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron."
15 I shall continue with the prized "Mr. Monk vs. the Cobra,"
When Disher was thrilled about the idea of Sonny Chow killing him.
I shall compare it to the modified "The Day They Raided Knights,"
When Larabee thought that KAOS agents recognizing him was good.
16 I shall continue with the scary "Mr. Monk Goes Home Again"
When Ambrose Monk ate a Neptune bar and was rushed to the hospital.
I shall compare it to the fatal "And Only Two Ninety-Nine,"
When Larabee ate the pie that was intended for Maxwell Smart.
17 I shall continue with the intoxicating "Mr. Monk Gets Drunk,"
When nobody remembered there being a guest named Larry Zwibell.
This situation is also like "The Day Smart Turned Chicken"
And the hard-to-believe "Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron."
18 I shall continue with the doubtful "Mr. Monk and Mrs. Monk,"
When Natalie saw someone who looked like Trudy enter the diner,
And Monk was worried that Trudy was alive and a murderer.
Disher was not in a hurry to go to the storage shed.
I shall compare it to the fatal "And Only Two Ninety-Nine,"
When Ninety-Nine saw someone who looked like her outside her apartment,
And Max was not sure which Ninety-Nine was the real Ninety-Nine.
Larabee was not in a hurry to go to Melnick's Furniture.
19 I shall continue with "Mr. Monk and the Secret Santa,"
When Adrian Monk was forced to go undercover as Santa Claus.
I shall compare it to the complicated "A Tale of Two Tails,"
When Maxwell Smart was forced to go undercover as Santa Claus.
20 I shall continue with "Mr. Monk and the Captain's Marriage,"
When Disher told Stottlemeyer to put the yo-yo away.
I shall compare it to the agonizing and routine "Greer Window,"
When the Chief told Larabee to forget about the yo-yo.
21 I shall continue with the sore "Mr. Monk Goes to the Dentist,"
When Disher told Stottlemeyer that Doctor Bloom killed Denny Jardeen.
However, the Captain did not believe Disher, so Disher quit.
Disher decided to revive his high school rock band and write songs.
This situation is also like "The Day Smart Turned Chicken"
And the hard-to-believe "Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron."
I shall also compare "Dentist" to "And Only Two Ninety-Nine."
The Chief and the Captain both found two men strange and annoying.
22 I shall continue with the dull "Mr. Monk Gets Jury Duty,"
When Adrian Monk spelled his name saying "capital" and "small" and "space."
I shall compare it to the risky and foreboding "The Decoy"
When Maxwell Smart spelled his last name saying "capital" and "small"—no "space."
23 I shall continue with "Mr. Monk and the Class Reunion,"
When Monk remembered information that was written on his back.
I shall compare it to the blundering and suspicious "School Days,"
When Max asked a student to write something to know if it's really him.
24 I shall continue with the sneaky "Mr. Monk Is at Your Service,"
When Stilson brought Buchanan a drink, but then Buchanan shot him.
I shall compare it to the unhelpful "How Green Was My Valet,"
When the Bulmanian ambassador poisoned his valet's drink.
25 I shall continue with the busy "Mr. Monk Visits a Farm,"
When Disher resigned from the police force and became a farmer.
I shall compare it to the elongated "The Little Black Book."
Max and Disher raided the wrong places—there were address mix-ups.
I shall also compare "Farm" to the fake "Widow Often Annie,"
Because both Larabee and Disher forgot something important.
And I shall also compare it to "What's It All About, Algie?"
Undercover, Max worked at a nursery, and Monk worked on a farm.
26 I shall continue with the tiring "Mr. Monk Stays Up All Night,"
When Monk told Captain Stottlemeyer that he saw a man kill a cop.
But there was no body, so the Captain didn't believe him.
Then Monk spots the undercover cop; this time the cop is alive!
But the man whom Monk thought he saw shot, William Lee, was not a cop.
Then Monk witnesses William Lee getting shot another time.
This situation is also like "The Day Smart Turned Chicken"
And the hard-to-believe "Snoopy Smart vs. the Red Baron."
27 I shall continue with the daring "Mr. Monk Goes to the Bank,"
When Disher told the living statue to rescue him and three others.
I shall compare it to the conspicuous "Do I Hear a Vaults?"
When Larabee stopped a robbery, and he and the Chief were trapped.
28 I shall continue with the nasty and selfish "Mr. Monk on Wheels,"
When Monk got shot in the left leg, and blamed everything on Natalie.
Monk bossed Natalie around, making her run so many errands.
Then Monk got shot in the other leg; he did want his legs to match.
I shall compare it to the agonizing and routine "Greer Window,"
When Max got shot and had to stay in his apartment and use crutches.
Ninety-Nine was very helpful to Max, bringing him magazines.
Max was healing, but when he wanted to watch TV, he shot himself.
29 I shall continue with the rowdy "Mr. Monk Makes the Playoffs,"
When Adrian Monk couldn't stop thinking about Condors fan Chet Walsh.
I shall compare it to the booming "Witness for the Execution."
Both Chet and Larabee were close to dying from explosions.
I shall also compare "Playoffs" to the shattering "Ironhand."
Chet had a foam finger bandage; Larabee's bowling ball was too small.
And I shall compare "Playoffs" to "I Am Curiously Yellow."
Monk and Chet got to use a special key; Larabee wanted a key.
30 I shall continue with the bizarre "Mr. Monk is the Best Man,"
When Stottlemeyer quickly realized that his car was on fire.
And I shall compare it to the enigmatic "The Worst Best Man,"
When the Control agents heard that Hymie had a bomb, so they fled.
31 So how many ways is Adrian Monk like Maxwell Smart? Let's see...
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve...
"Come on, Randy. Will you please put down the guitar and shut up?"
Sharona is telling me to put down the guitar and shut up.