The dangers of time travel

Note: if I owned Harry potter then I wouldn't be writing this, now would I?

(The answer is no)

"Lily, take Harry and run!" James shouted as he desperately held his opponent. Voldemort lazily blocked and redirected his every spell, until finally he grew bored and pointed his wand at prongs.

Avada ke-

It was then that something odd happened.

"Stupefy!"

"Crucio!"

"Confringo!"

"Sectumserpa!"

"Expelliarmus!"

"Who the hell uses a disarming spell on lord moldyshorts!?"

"It's how I killed him last time. I was feeling nostalgic."

James stared at the arguing figures, wondering what the hell he was on. He decided that he needed more of it, if his new headache was any indication.

"Dumbledore?" He exclaimed,(quite dramatically, too) "mooney, pad foot, wormtail?" Then he added "snivilleous?"

The strange group turned and all cried at once(no, they didn't start crying-except maybe Harry.)

I'm a time traveler-"

They stopped.

"Well, that explains a lot." A strangely familiar dark-haired young man spoke up.

At this point, voldemort groaned.

"Oh, yeah, forgot about him." Harry added

He rolled to the side, cast a summoning charm on the prone lord, then jumped back, and used his new angle to banish the flying lord into a nearby tree.

Harry then summoned the groaning lord, banished him into the tree again, then repeated this several more times, establishing a steady rhythm.

At this point lily, holding baby Harry peeked out the front door.

James quickly transfigured the poor, innocent tree into solid stone.

"Oh, yeah, I need to interrogate Tom about the horcruxes."

James allowed part of the stone tree to liquify, then solidify around the stuck lord's limbs.

"I brought the veritaserum." Snape said, digging out a potion vial

"And I brought the penisieve." Dumbledore walked up "and I memorized several seasons of a muggle show called Barney, just in case.

All of the present company who knew about the aforementioned show shuddered.

"Dumbledore, you're evil."

"I know, Severus."

Just then a portal opened in the time-space continuum, and hermione granger, Ginny weasely, Luna lovegood, say-my-first-name-and-die tonks, Hannah abbot, Susan bones, daphne greengrass, and the delacours tumbled out.

"Harry there's been a tear in the space-time continuum,quick, we need to-"

"Harry!" James jumped forwards ,"then you must be my son, and(his eyes watered)you've got a harem! I could'nt be more proud!"

Serius, seeing both an opportunity to prank his old friend and a chance to party, decided to not disabuse him of that notion.

They all had a party. Then killed voldemort. Then had Voldemort-killing and horcrux-hunting parties. Dumbledore may or may not have breathed fire, and nobody had stayed sober enough to tell if there had been an orgy or two involved, even in the my-son-has-a-harem party.

The end.