My eyes stayed even with his.

I didn't dare to move.

I couldn't move.

And when his rough hand placed some of my hair behind my ear, I couldn't help but flinch at the sudden contact.

He noticed.

The world around us was still moving, the earth will keep spinning, trees will grow, people will age, yet for a moment I thought the world had just stopped.

It was no surprise that he made me feel this way, in fact part of me expected me to fall in love with him.

He was just so different from anyone else I've ever known.

He put his head down in defeat, thinking he's lost me forever.

And when he walked away, I didn't stop him; because I knew I could never pull him into this.

I woke up and groaned, another dream about him leaving. I had the same one every night since we'd come back from Rome.

Maybe I should have stopped him, or maybe I should have told him that I didn't want him to get hurt even more.

I should have done something, something else than just stand there and watch him walk away.

"Macey, you gonna take a shower or can I go in first?" Liz asked her voice still small and innocent; I smiled at how some things never change.

"You can go in first Liz"

I lay back down on my bed, the one I had been in since sophomore year, and closed my eyes. Although I have school today, I just didn't feel up to it anymore.

I wanted things to be different, for the Circle to never appear. Maybe that's when it all went bad, when the Circle started chasing Cammie. But then again I would have never seen Preston in Rome if they weren't.

Life is strange, right? There are some parts you want to erase form your life completely, but then again if you never would have gone through it you wouldn't be where you are. You would never be as strong. I would have never found love.

If my parents would have never treated the way they did, I wouldn't have rebelled and arrive at the Gallagher gates. I would have never met Bex, Liz, and Cammie.

If my father wasn't the Senator, he would have never been in a campaign and I would have never met Preston.

If I had never lost my best friend, I would have never known how much we depended on her.

Things all happen for a reason; the universe has its ways of balancing everything out so no part of your life is good or bad. It's never black or white; it's in shades of grey. Sometimes it rains and sometimes it's sunny. Maybe I'll get no homework, or maybe a new bag. Or maybe I'll have to pose for another magazine cover. It's never the same.

I thought back to the times when I was younger, precisely in 7th grade. It was a lot of pressure being the Senator's daughter at some boarding school where everyone tried to be my friend. Back then I thought they were mocking me. I went through such a hard time that year. That when I had first starting starving myself. I knew I had to be perfect and beautiful, and that as the Senator's daughter I needed to be what every girl wanted to be. Breathtakingly beautiful.

But beauty is superficial, people get away with putting on some makeup and curling their hair and suddenly it's a great life. I thought that was true, until I realized how much I was hurting myself. Of course I didn't realize that until I was in freshman year. That's when I starting dropping out of schools. When I realized that I didn't care about what people said about me. That I didn't need their approval to be beautiful inside. But I knew that deep down, I still cared.

Preston is the exact opposite. He never did anything particular to make his father proud, he embraced being the family disappointment with such welcome that I was jealous. He didn't care what the press thought. He lived his life properly, with flying grades and manners. And although his nerdy domineer is one that pushes people away, it doesn't take long for someone to get attached to him. No wonder why he had so many friends, and I could only count on three.

Maybe that's why I loved him so much.

Because he was absolutely everything I wanted to be. I wanted to be him. And more than anything I needed him to balance me out.

I'm such a wreck without him, sometimes when I think about him deeply I found myself struggling for air.

The day progressed slowly each moment torturing me. Torturing me of never knowing where he was, what he was doing, and why.

I could never be normal now; I can't have a normal relationship with him.

It was all over now.

It wasn't long until the last period bell rang and I was sitting on the steps of the now deserted grand foyer, my head in my hands.

"Macey?"

I look up to be connected with the most sparking blue eyes I have ever seen. A color I had fallen in love with in a matter of seconds.

Preston was there, Preston was there in front of me.

"I love you."

I don't know where the words even came from.

And just after I said them, my head fell back into my hands.

I was being ridiculous.

Preston could never love me.

I was a screwed up mess, I didn't even know who I was these days.

And I knew that my head was probably just playing another game with me like it always does.

This has happened since we left Rome, every night and every day I'd see Preston walk into the Grand Foyer and I'd blurt to him that I love him.

And every time I'd look up, he would be gone.

It was some sort of sick cycle.

But I would get over it, I knew I could. I'd find a way to forget him.

"I love you too."

And when I looked up, he was there, smiling like an idiot.

So yeah that's my love story, hoped you all liked it. I just needed a break from my bad stories.