A/N

Greetings. So I'm a fanfic virgin which also means I'm a review virgin (hint hint). Anyway I've been reading SasuSaku fanfiction for AGES and decided it's finally time to get off my ass and actually write one. This one's kinda just random stuff and it ended completely different to how I originally planned. You'll have to squint to see the romance and I dunno really what kind of genre this is but I'll be posting more fics up soon which hopefully will make more sense.

Disclaimahh: Insert standard disclaimer here. No, I don't own Naruto because if I did there would be a pink haired emo children running around. Capiche?


Sometimes when I wake up

I can't breathe

Wind rushes through the long grass that covers the land as far as the eye can see. The gentle rustle of the grass bending in the wind soothes her but she scans the area for other chakra signatures before allowing herself to relax. Even then she does not fully lower all her defences, she hasn't for years.

She sweeps her gaze around her surroundings and does a perimeter check. The familiarity of the place encloses her in a gentle embrace yet she does not recognise her location.

'Must be someplace from my genin days,' she muses.

It irritates her for if it is one thing she hates, it is not knowing. It is one of the reasons she pours her everything into finding cures for untreatable and debilitating diseases. For her, every patient is a personal mission that she must complete successfully and with no casualties. Every loss is a sign of her weakness and must be overcome and never repeated again. It is this mindset that has gained her a 99% success rate and has paved her way to becoming one of Konoha's top medics.

Still she allows that everyone needs a break.

Shrugging, she decides to enjoy the brief respite from her hectic schedule which had intensified upon his return. For after he returned she had begun working longer and harder hours than she had ever before. She loved her job, it gave her the much needed chance to use all her strength and it provided the anodyne from remembering. Most days she had just enough energy left to stagger through her door, kick off her shoes and collapse on her bed. There was no energy left to think, let alone remember and for that she was grateful. It had turned into a comforting cycle of sorts until Tsunade arrived at the hospital. The Hokage had taken one look at her and given her the longest ear-bashing she had ever received in her entire life which was continued by Naruto en route to her apartment and would not have stopped unless she had shoved a cup of instant ramen and shut the door on his face.

He had not sought her out and she was certainly not going to be the one to initiate the meeting. She was not sure if her carefully built barriers would be able to withstand the battering of meeting with him. The barriers had already begun crumbling when she saw him at hospital, barely breathing, barely alive. So after making sure his condition had stabilised, she had promptly transferred off his case and had not seen him since.

It had taken a lot of blood, sweat and tears to build this new Sakura and she was not going to let some boy get in the way. After all she was the one who could lift mountains with her pinky, the one who could punch craters in the ground and send everyone in the vicinity flying, the one was renowned for her medical prowess and the one who was most certainly well and truly over a certain dark-haired avenger. And so she would not meet him.

'He misses you.'

A delicate raised eyebrow.

'Well you know he can't actually say it because of the stick stuck up his arse but he has that lost puppy dog face on, the one that makes me want to beat him up and the one that make you want to, you know, do your thing.'

A laugh.

'I'm done doing my 'thing' Naruto. Besides I'm far too busy at the hospital. There's been an influx of the seasonal flu, at least 4 teams of ninja are in critical condition, with 2 others being constantly monitored due to their chakra reserves being tampered with and no-one knows why, a mutation of whooping cough is being spread throughout the infants and elderly and…'

'Woah hang on a sec Sakura-chan, you know I'm not one for medic mumbo-jumbo,' Naruto looks lost, sitting in the office he has visited hundreds of times but he gives one last valiant try, 'Just, you know, think about it.'

A sigh.

'Yeah.'

She shakes her head. Despite her resolve to relax he still manages to creep into her mind and torment her.

Looking up she notices the brightbrilliantblindingazure sky stretching out with careless abandon and almost luminous clouds whimsically floating across.

'With nature so beautiful who needs pretty boys,' she thinks with glee.

One eye scrunched up and tongue stuck out in concentration she throws her hands up and using both her thumbs and pointer fingers to form a box she surveys the sky. She thinks she understands a little of Shikamaru's love for the sky now. The endless blue yonder symbolised the endless opportunities of life and spoke of eternal acceptance, besides that colour would look good with anything.

'All's well in the land of…wherever,' she thinks with a mental shrug.

Surprised by the sudden detachment she is experiencing, she falls back onto the ground controlling her fall with chakra but even then an 'oof' escapes her as she makes contact with the surface.

Turning her head to the side, she closes her eyes and allows the sun to warm her, enjoying the sun's patterns on her stomach. Maybe she had been a cat in her past life. She did have an inane love for the sun and the green eyes…

'Sasuke-kun, c'mon, we're nearly there'

'Hey! What about me Sakura-chan?'

'Ugh, well come if you must Naruto'

'Hey! That's not very nice'

'Naruto! Do you have to start ALL your sentences with hey?'

'Hn.'

'Oh what's that Sasuke? You're hungry? Don't worry there's lots of tomatoes waiting for you when we reach.'

'That's right Sasukins, oh don't pout, we're nearly there, you'll be able to eat all the tomatoes you want soon'

'Dobe.'

'Oh that's it. It is on like donkey's horns teme'

'Naruto quit it. Look we've arrived!'

She feels a light brush on her nose and opens her eyes. A butterfly rests there. Pale yellow wings with black spirals flutter before taking off from their brief stop on her nose. She laughs and stands, following the butterfly with her eyes. The last carefree time she had spent with her team, she had experienced the same thing. Naruto had said something about being touched by a goddess whilst Sasuke had muttered sotto voce about Naruto being touched in the head, whilst Kakashi-sensei had looked on fondly. She sighs. There was no point living in the past. It had gone along with the three genins' innocence. Both of which were now irretrievable.

She looks up and is surprised to find that whilst being caught up in her bittersweet recollections, the sky had darkened to a bruised gray with clouds visibly swelling with rain. The gentle breeze had turned into a gale and as thunder rumbled, she realises she needs to find shelter fast or risk being stuck in the torrent once it began.

Powering chakra into her feet, she runs towards what she hopes is north. However, after minutes passed by, she realises that she is not going to make it in time. The scenery remained frustratingly the same. The long grass stretched out further than she could run in the short amount of time she had before the downpour would start.

As she continued to run, she took stock of her situation. She was in an unfamiliar place with only the clothes she stood in and if she did not find shelter soon she would most likely catch pneumonia or develop hypothermia both of which she would have to expend considerable chakra to heal.

'Think' she sternly ordered herself.

'Heeeeyyyy Sakura-chan. Open up! Teme is gonna burst a blood vessel if you leave us out any longer. The vein throbbing in his forehead…woops looks like it just did.'

'Whath thoo you wanth Narutho?'

'Woah Sakura-chan you look horrible.'

'Hn.'

'See even Sasuke thinks so. And that means its REALLY bad. All right I guess there's no helping it. Training is officially cancelled today. Go back to bed Sakura-chan we'll take care of everything. Right Sasuke?'

'Aa.'

'Thanks guys.'

She shakes her head, furious with herself.

'You're finished being protected, grow up, grow up, GROW UP. You're a renowned medic known for her intelligence and resourcefulness throughout Konohagakure. You don't need anyone.' she mutters.

Suddenly she catches sight of two cloaked figures in the distance. She squints and channelling chakra to her eyes sharpens her vision but she cannot make out their identities as their hoods are drawn and faces bent against the raging gale force. She makes out that they are both carrying something but she cannot identify exactly what it was they were bearing. She debates whether to go to them or for them to come to her. The speed they were travelling marked them out to be ninjas but when she felt for their chakra signatures she could not sense anything. Either they had superb chakra control or she was doing something wrong. Tentatively she tries again but comes up with the same result.

She cannot be sure of their intentions and simply standing her is doing nothing in helping to determine whether she is safe in her current location. Although there was hardly anywhere she could go and any half-acceptable ninja would have noticed her by now given her exposed position, standing in the open.

She decides to meet them halfway.

As she nears the two figures, their identities remained obscure. She shrugs. Being ninja meant taking risks and this was just another one. Besides there was always a chance that they were locals and would know a place that she could shelter in while she waited out the fast approaching storm.

The first drops of rain begin to fall as she reaches the position she determines to be halfway and by the time the figures near her the rain has steadily increased to an intensity that has soaked her completely, plastered her hair to her forehead and made her feel like she was being hammered to the ground. She can hardly make out the two figures, now so close to her position.

Finally, the two people stand in front of her. She envies their cloaks which to her practiced eye she determines as waterproof and wishes she had one. She watches as first, the one on the left drops what he is carrying and draws back his hood, soon followed by the one on the right.

She gapes.

'Naruto? Sasuke? What are you doing here?'

'We brought you something Sakura,' Naruto replies with none of the cheer and gusto he was known for. His eyes looked strangely dull and his face was blank. She turns to Sasuke's face and her heart constricts but the barrier holds in place. She studies his face. His enigmatic obsidian eyes are dulled as well and his expression mirrored Naruto's.

A feeling of dread settles on her back intensifying the feeling of being pushed to the ground and fear squeezes her throat and renders her speechless.

'Look'

She winces at the grating voice and looks to where Sasuke is pointing and fights the urge to scream. There lying at her teammates' feet were their genin selves and from their palepale faces and closed eyes opendammit she knows that they are dead.

But before she can fall to pieces, her brains starts working to rationalise the situation. She tells herself that it is technically true and that this is the way it should be. They are from the past which is no more and therefore should not be alive. This does not make her feel any better but it stops her urge to scream.

Then Sasuke lifts something from his back and gives it to her. With rising horror, realisation dawns and she drops to the ground and dry retches. Her teammates watch with apathetic faces as she summons the will to stand again and avoid looking at the source of her distress.

'Why did you give me that? What do you mean by doing that? Are you trying to make me feel guilty? I'm not the same pathetic little girl I was back then. Dammnit answer me.'

She screams and shakes first Naruto then Sasuke. She feels the tears prickling her eyes and stubbornly holds them back. Naruto and Sasuke remain quiet but direct their attention to her feet.

She fights the panic invading her, as she watches herself ohgodpleaseno rise up unsteadily from the ground and stagger towards her. The long pink hair, because Sasuke preferred girls with long hair, the short red top and shorts, because red suited her dammnit, screw Ino and her fashion advice and the dazzling smile because she had the best teammates in the world. It was all there. All in the embodiment of everything she had fought to escape and destroy.

'NO NO NO NO NO'

'Sakura calm down. It's just me, or rather you,' the genin Sakura giggles girlishly and she fights the urge to run and put as much distance between this thing and her.

'No, no don't run. I'm here to tell you something very important. Now listen up,' the lightness disappears in her voice as Sakura straightens up and continues, 'Naruto and Sasuke have both severed their pasts and grown up. As I expected you have been too weak to do the same.'

'No,' she bites out furiously. For if there is anything she is not, it is weak. She has trained so hard to escape from being the weak member of Team 7 and there was no way she was going back to it.

'Wonderful. Eight years later, I have the vocabulary of one.' Sakura sighs. It is a long tired sigh of one who is old beyond their years. 'Fine if you aren't weak then you should be able to this just fine.' From her pouch she draws a long sheathed dagger. It is viciously beautiful with a crimson sheath and gold flowers inlayed in it.

As she wordlessly takes the dagger, she unsheathes it and touches it to her finger. It draws blood. Sharpened to the finest point, the rain running off it is strangely mesmerising. She allows herself to be entranced for it as she remembers the first time she held a kunai. She had been painfully inadept with it whilst her two teammates had mastered the basics in a day. Today, she is as skilled as the most elite ANBU with the kunai and is always up for a spar.

She looks up at the two boymen standing in front of her. They return the stare equally but their eyes betray nothing. She wonders if they are real, if this was real, if she was real. But the blood the dagger had drawn from her had at least proved to be real. She closes the wound before eyeing the girlchild in front of her.

Team 7, Kakashi's team will consist of Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke and Haurno Sakura. Teme! Hn. Am I doing this right Kakashi-sensei? Don't cry Sakura. Sasuke I brought you some tomatoes. NARUTO GET BACK HERE! Now, now children. I love you Sasuke-kun! Sakura thank you. I promise you I will bring him back Sakura-chan. Believe it! I want to be stronger. Please make me your apprentice. Sakura I'm so proud of you. Sasuke's back.

She shudders and realises she must do this. She needs to do this. For closure if nothing else. She looks Naruto and Sasuke in the eye and gives them a small smile before turning her eyes to her younger self.

'Thankyou.'

The genin Sakura nods and closes her eyes, head held high. She raises the dagger and plunges it into herself. She mutters a Kai and weakly smiles at the three people in front of her who stare shocked before the darkness claims her.

'Do you think we did the right thing? I mean I know that she was being all stubborn and all Sakura, but did we have to go this far. I mean she's probably all weak from overwork and everything anyway and what if she's in pain and I probably shouldn't have come to you. I mean a genjutsu of all things you're a real sadistic bastard you know and…'

'Dobe.'

'Yes, I know, I'm babbling. But I feel so helpless. She's just been lying there for nearly 3 hours and she looked so tired today and she's never taken this long before and…'

'She's moving.'

Sakura stirs and her eyes flutter open. Her eyes are unfocused and she blinks a few time before smiling at Naruto who's eyes are brimming with tears and glaring at Sasuke who's smirking at her but is smiling in his eyes. She reaches her hands out and her teammates take one each and she allows herself to fully relax for the first time in years.

'Hey Sasuke. I never thought you of all people…'

'Shut up dobe. She's sleeping.'

And Naruto watches in amazement as Sasuke watches Sakura sleep.

'SASUKE UCHIHA YOU LITTLE TWERP I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. THE FIRST THING YOU DO AFTER SIX YEARS IS PLACE A GENJUTSU ON ME. WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU ARE GOING TO REGRET EVER BEING BORN'

'Sakura calm down, I was only trying to…'

Sasuke looks at the raging beast, ahem, Sakura who is stomping her way towards him and turns and runs for his life.

Hehe I couldn't resist.