He would always remember when he was a child how sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes he would wake up just early enough to see the sunrise above the mountains and down into the valley where the shrine was located. The air always seemed thicker, yet lighter, and he loved it. And during those rare occasions he would find his father as usual purifying himself for daily trips to neighboring towns to bless certain houses, goose certain women, followed by certain words used by the husbands that he was too young to understand.
But on days like this, he found himself waking up before sunrise, not out of the hopes of seeing the sun rise, but battle, battle with self doubt, and fatigue that sometimes plagued him. Before he met Inuyasha and the other others he had just been a wondering monk who had a goal of his own, not time table, just a goal to find that son of a bitch that had cursed his family. And with others on the relative same page as he, he accompanied them. Battle after battle, and like he, they were tired, wounded, and anxious time and time again.
Every time they seemed to get close to killing Naraku he pulled out another trick and somehow got away, even with the Tessagia becoming more powerful so did the evil combating. But why? Was this how life was, it couldn't be. Even as a monk, he had his doubts about certain aspects about life, and closer to home than what he liked to realize, death. Time after time, he thought he could see a light at the end of the tunnel and finally have the chance at finally being a normal person, but it never happened. And he tried not to think about how time might just run out on him. He never told anyone, but he was scared, about dieing. And in situations when the mood was bleak towards him, a simple grab the sweet ass of Sango would cure everyone's fears. For a time. He chuckled lightly at the thoughts.
Sango. The one name that could stop his heart, and have it run at a thousand beats per minute. He had met a lot of women in his travels. But her, natural beauty was something that just radiated from her. When gathering around the fire in the morning, even when half asleep, she was amazing in his eyes. He was in love with her, and after the whole Salamander demon ordeal, he would never take advantage of her, her feeling, or his ever again. And damn the consequences of what injuries may come, as long as she was safe and sound. But there times like this, when he was all alone, he would catch himself staring at his hand, and doubt, and anxiety would increase ten fold in his soul. And for the life of him, he saw no happy ending, no words of encouragement that would somehow boost him and help him carry on.
"Miroku?" her words broke him from the trance he was in. "Sango my love, what has made you awaken at such an hour, dreams about a certain person perhaps?" He grinned at the obvious disdain in her face. "No, you pervert. What are you doing up, you got cut up pretty badly from that forest demon yesterday, you should be resting." she said, her tone was a little scornful. "I'm fine. I'm just a little restless, ready to get a move on." That wasn't exactly a lie he had just told, but he hoped she bought it. "Is it your hand?" she asked. That question has startled him, was worse than he imagined, were the others able to tell when he was in pain?
"You know you can tell me anything…" she stated softly. Without notice he pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm scared, every time we get close to destroying Naraku he escapes, tricks us, or stupid Inuyasha's ego gets in the way with his brother's and we lose him!" he said in a angry muffled tone that surprised even him. "It's fine for all of you, we all suffer, but alongside of my suffering is a reminder of the fucking curse that shoots up through my arm and into my chest. I know I'm getting closer. And I can't do anything to stop it." he said into her hair as he continued to, what seemed to him just then, rant. "I know my death won't be for nothing, I fought him and everything that was evil that we came across as much as I could. And if I do die, I know I will beat that bastard in one area, the curse will be gone along with one of his achievements having one more thing suffer in this world." he lamented.
He just kept his eyes closed praying to whoever or whatever was listening. He thought she would be confused, or maybe angered at him for pulling her in. She didn't like being handled in such a way, his many gropes and its' aftereffects proved that. "Don't ever say that…" she said. Her face still in his chest. "Sango.." he began. "Yes we all suffer, and yes you do carry an extra burden that none of can imagine, but don't think for a second that your death would somehow end one Naraku's appeasements of one less person suffering. We all would. Especially me." she was crying now, his chest becoming more damp by the second. "You can't die Miroku, we need you, Inuyasha, Kagome, Shippou, and me. I need you the most!" Miroku looked up and took notice of daylight slowly coming over the hills in the distance. "Sango promise me something." he said " If or when my wind tunnel opens up… I want you and the others to run, just run, and not look back. And promise me that you find a good man, that treats you well. And helps you and Kohaku rebuild your village." he said. He could feel her eyes on him as he spoke but he didn't break his eyes from the hills. "Miroku…" "Promise me Sango." he now looked down into her eyes, and was instantly transfixed. "No." she flatly stated. "Sang-" he began but before he could say her name she spoke "I love you, and no matter what you say I will not leave you; we will be sucked into the unknown together and no matter what comes our way we will face it together.
The weight in his chest that were the result of all his doubts, and negative thinking felt lighter. "I love you Sango. If I ever forget to tell you that, feel free to sic Kirara on me as a reminder." he leaned down and kissed her. And right then and there Miroku believed that even if yesterdays were bad and his hope fading. There was always Sango and the sunrise. The glowing hills and the laughter from them gave testament to that.
Pretty abrupt ending if I do say myself, haven't written something like this years. But reading some certain fanfic's and looking up on Miroku's status in the Manga gave me enough to try and attempt one. But please, Read and Review.