A/N: Ok so here is my first Bleach fic. I have written other stories, but this is the very first Bleach fic. Pretty angsty, but im pondering about a second chapter that isn't going to be angsty and all that. But you'll get in both, though not much in this and I won't call it fluff or anything. And anyway I suck at writing fluff… So here u go, new story from yours truly :D

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Kubo Tite does and OOH how I envy him!

----------------

She sat by the bed, alone in the silent night.

She was tired but didn't want to sleep.

She was afraid. Afraid of the nightmares she knew would haunt her from now on. After the horrible evening that had just occurred.

She listened to the slow heartbeats of the unconscious figure in front of her, lying in the pure white bed.

A sigh escaped from her lips. She felt so weak. So cold. And so horribly alone.

But she wasn't. She was in a hospital surrounded by people ready to help and comfort her when she needed it. And not far away was the family who had taken her in.

A family. A family that wasn't hers. A family who was too close to loose a member.

She couldn't bear that. The thought. The memories of the broken hearts of them. The tears. The pain.

She wished she could forget it all, but it stubbornly stuck to her brain like glue.

One specific memory was the worst.

She closed her violet eyes. She didn't want to remember, but suddenly it all replayed once again.

----------------

Flashback

A comfortable evening.

She lied on his bed, reading a magazine, and listening to music. She was waiting for him to come home. He said he went to Orihime, who had been ill that day, with some homework they had gotten in school. He said he would be back before dinner.

But it was almost half past 6 and he was still not home.

Yuzu called everyone in for dinner.

Rukia turned the CD-player off and jumped off the bed. She went down the stairs and saw Isshin fight to come to the table before Karin, but was hardly pushed away by his scowling daughter.

Rukia chuckled a little and sat down by the table.

Yuzu had outdone herself. The dinner was delicious and Rukia enjoyed every single bite.

She looked next to her and saw an empty chair.

Her smile faded a little.

"Where the hell is he?" she thought.

And if the thought was a cue for the heart stinging question, Yuzu asked: "Rukia-san you don't know where Ichi-nii is do you?"

It hit her in the heart so suddenly that it felt like she was electrified and it tugged in her stomach. He had been missing the whole evening. She masked her worry and smiled cheerfully.

"No, unfortunately I haven't, though im sure he'll come soon enough." she said, way too cheerfully. She looked around. They all seemed relaxed and content. They didn't seem worried. After all, Ichigo did come home pretty late sometimes. Something just felt wrong.

Rukia took her plate and went to the kitchen. She went up to Ichigo's room again and threw herself on the bed.

She laid there for a few minutes until her Hollow-tracker began to alarm. Her gaze fell on his night table. Her eyes widened.

There laid his substitute Shinigami badge, also alarming for an approaching hollow. She jumped up from the bed and out of the window in a flash and soon she was running in the dark city, with the badge in her hand. She felt small flashes of reiatsu.

She had been running for a while, following the reiatsu, but then she lost track of it, like if it disappeared.

"Where can he be?" she asked herself.

And just as she said that she heard a scream and the voice of a hollow.

She started to run as fast as she could and suddenly she saw small pools of blood, splashed out on the sidewalk and walls. It continued as a track until it ended in a dark alley, and turned into one bigger pool of scarlet blood.

Rukia slowed her pace and moved further into the alley and wrinkled her nose as she stepped into a small pool of blood. It took some time to get her eyes accustomed to the darkness and when that happened she gasped and screamed his name.

End flashback

----------------

She bit her lip and tears welled up in her eyes.

She didn't want to remember the horrifying sight.

Rukia heard a sound and she tensed her senses.

It was crying. A girl was crying. A small girl.

Rukia felt the sadness inside her grow more painful.

She recognised the little voice.

Yuzu. She was crying. Again.

This family. It had been wounded. And there were only one way to make it heal again, though none could do anything but to wait. And hope for the best to happen.

It pained her. To not be able to do anything, but just sit by the bed and stare out in the ebony night, or keep an eye on the unconscious boy lying in the hospital bed. She mostly chose the latter. She would somewhat have enjoyed it if he had just been sleeping.

Again she heard Yuzu's silent, whimpers.

She bit harder in her lip. She ignored the pain.

Rukia didn't notice the tears, which had been welling up in her eyes, started to roll down her cheeks.

--------- The night earlier (Ichigo's POV) ---------

He was walking home from Orihime.

He smiled, for once in a cheerful mood.

The orange haired boy took a glance at the sky. It was getting dark.

He quickened his pace, his hands stuffed in his pockets, shivering from the cold wind.

Suddenly he heard a horrible howl. There was no doubt. A hollow. And it was nearby.

He searched his pockets for his Shinigami badge but it wasn't there.

"Dammit!" he growled and began running towards his house. He had to get that badge before the hollow could hurt anybody.

He spotted his house in the distance.

The young Shinigami was sure he would make it in time before the hollow started its rampage, but suddenly out from a side road a big fist suddenly emerged and hit Ichigo square in the face. A cracking sound could be heard, as his jawbone cracked, and he heavily fell to ground. His mortal form was far more vulnerable than his spirit form.

"Well well, what do we have here? You smell awfully tasty." the hollow taunted.

Ichigo slowly got his feet and spitted out the blood from his mouth.

But before he could stand fully the hollow hit him in his abdomen with a huge fist, which sent the injured boy flying into a wall.

He groaned in pain and rubbed his sore head. It was bleeding. He let his hand fall to the ground and felt cold steel make contact with his bloody fingers.

A shaky hand grabbed the long steel pipe and soon he was running towards the hollow with renewed strength.

It slashed at him, but he dodged and flung the pipe down at the hollows hand. It howled in pain and retreated to moan over the sore hand.

Ichigo took the opportunity to stab the pipe deep into the hollows foot.

Again the hollow screamed, but instead of retreating it raged over the young man's attack and closed its big hand around the stubborn boy's waist. The hollow squeezed him and he gasped for breath. Blood spouted out from his wide open mouth.

"Urgh, shit he's going to kill me!" he thought and he was about to faint from strangling. The hollow threw him far away into a dark alley. As he hit the wall his shoulder and head took the impact and cracking sounds could be heard from both. He fell to the ground with a sickening thud. Blood started to pool around him.

His eyes began to shut, but he refused to die in a place like this, killed by a hollow. But he couldn't run back home either. That would put his family and Rukia in danger. If he was going to die, he had to stay in a place where no one could get hurt in the meantime.

Slowly and painfully he tried to get up, but shrieked in pain as he found out his shoulder was broken as well. All that tossing around was getting dangerous.

The hollow approached and chuckled.

"Haha, you've got some willpower little boy. Too bad for you it just makes it more amusing for me to kill you. I will enjoy listening to your agonized screams. Though im still wondering why you smell even better than a Shinigami. Perhaps you're just-" the hollow grinned behind the white mask, but was cut off by a hard kick in the stomach. It was pushed a few meters back and looked down to see the same orange haired boy shaking form the pain, a determined expression dominating his weakened features.

"Wha- Why you little. What do you think you're doing!? You can't defeat me! You'll regret doing that you little brat!" the hollow screamed and hit the substitute Shinigami in his head making him fall again. He was now breathing heavily.

"You aren't very creative are you? You just keep hitting me and hitting me. Don't you have any extra tricks in your sleeve? How pathetic." Ichigo taunted an evil smile playing over his beaten and bloody face. He spitted again.

Three huge fingers closed around Ichigos head and lifted him up in the air and shook him in a playful manner.

The only thing the injured boy could do was to glare daggers at the hollow, smirking behind its mask from it's soon victory and an extra tasty reward.

"So you think im not creative, eh? I merely thought I'd spare you from an even more painful demise. But if you insist." the hollow growled. The free hand's fingers turned into sharp claws and started cutting the already fatally wounded boy.

Ichigo did his best not to scream, but once in a while a small shriek escaped from his bloody lips. He had no intent of entertaining the hollow with showing just how painful it was and how much he wanted to scream his lungs out.

The hollow laughed and kept slashing the poor Shinigami.

"Hahaha why don't you just scream little boy. It must hurt so very much." he laughed. But Ichigo didn't budge and the hollow grew frustrated. "This is no fun. Scream! Scream goddammit you little brat!" the hollow yelled and threw Ichigo back on the ground where he let a gasp escape in pain. The huge amount of pain that just been inflicted on him and the great amount of blood he had lost, plus the extra pain from the broken bones' impact with the hard asphalt forced him into a half conscious state, immobile. Now there was no other way.

"So. Guess this is the end." he thought, exhaled and closed his heavy lids. "Thank you... Everyone. Dad, Yuzu, Karin. Orihime, Chad, Ishida. Rukia. Im not afraid. Not anymore."

Suddenly his clouded ears caught someone scream his name. He couldn't recognise it. He could hardly hear it.

He didn't see the fight that occurred.

He heard the clicking sound of a pair of small feet hitting the ground and the ear pinching scream of a defeated hollow. He heard desperate speech and a blurred voice from a cellphone, trying to calm down the speaker and he opened his eyes as much as he could. There were only a few millimetres to see through. All he could see was the scarlet red colour of his own blood and a pair of small feet rushing to him. A pair of knees hit the bloody ground next to him. Petite hands cupping around his bigger, bloody one. That was the only one thing he could feel. The pain was gone. Maybe only for a while. Maybe for ever. Maybe he was in fact already dead. He didn't know. He couldn't see who was clutching his hand. He couldn't look up nor move. He couldn't do anything.

After a while he heard sirens. Feet rushed around him in a confusing pattern. He felt he was lifted up on a stretcher, a mask was placed over his mouth and nose and a needle was stung into the back of his hand. Through the needle a strange feeling rushed through his body, relaxing his muscles.

The small hands didn't disappear anytime. They only squeezed his harder. Behind the sirens' loud noise he heard small sobs from the owner of the hands.

The feeling coming out from the needle began to make him tired and hazy, and his eyelids threatened to shut entirely.

He wanted to address the crying person next to him. Earlier he was lying with his head down, but this time he was lying on his back. Through his heavy lids he recognised the blurred figure sitting next to him.

"R-Rukia?"

And then he slipped into unconsciousness.

----------------

Rukia sat by the bed and recalled what had happed just a while ago.

When Yuzu came in to see him before she went home with the rest of the broken family.

Rukia had overheard the 'conversation' the small girl had, had with her unconscious brother.

----------------

Yuzu had come in the room to where her big brother was lying, in his critical state. Rukia didn't want anyone to know that she hadn't moved away from his side a single moment since she found him in the alley. So she hid in the bathroom and looked out of the small window in the door.

Rukia heard her sniffles. And saw the tears in the big brown eyes. She bit her lip. Her mind raced.

Her mind race was cut off by a small, tearful voice.

"I-Ichi-nii? You… I just.. wanted to say goodnight.. to you before I went home. I-I know you can't hear me. Or maybe you can. I hope so. Maybe you're… up there." she whispered and looked out at the black night. She cracked a tiny smile for an instant. Her gaze fell back to her brother. "You're…p-probably looking at me, thinking "What a cry-baby," She smiled a sad smile. "But I thought, if Karin can cry, then I can too, right?"

Yuzu took her brother's bandaged hand in her tiny one. Compared to his, Yuzu's hand looked like a baby's hand.

"I know y-you've only been away for a day, but… I miss you Ichi-nii. I don't want you to die!" she said and began to cry. She leaned forward and cried into his bandaged chest. "Please, get well again. Ichi-nii." she sobbed and dried tears away with the back of her hand. She sniffled a couple of times and walked to the door. She stopped for an instant and looked back at her brother. Then she turned around and carefully closed the door behind her.

Rukia covered her mouth and choked a few sobs. She slowly walked back in the room and slumped down on the chair next to the bed. She, too, sniffled and pulled the chair closer to his bed.

It was so much harder to bear. It wasn't only Rukia who suffered from the empty hole this boy was so close to leave. That whole family was suffering. Yuzu cried all the time. And even Karin cried. Ichigo had told her that she never cried, only when she truly was in pain.

If only he knew just how much, his family depended on him. How much they needed him. How much they needed that rude, scowling teenage boy.

She looked at the black sky out of the window. The night seemed darker than usual. The stars weren't twinkling or shining merrily. They were just like white dots on the dark sorrowful sky. It was like if the night mirrored her mind. Dark and sorrowful.

----------------

So there she sat. Looking out at the black mourning night. Looking at the white, dull dots that usually were called stars.

Rukia shivered. It was cold, though she was inside. It wasn't winter yet it felt like it was snowing inside her.

Was this how it felt to loose someone. She had almost forgotten the pain when Kaien died.

But Ichigo wasn't dead. Despite the tearing sight of his broken form covered in bandages, the devices attached on him, the donor blood hanging above his bed, the IV drop in the back of his hand, the transparent mask covering his mouth and nose. Despite all that, she could still hear the beeping sound the machine beside him, counting and calculating a genuine slow heartbeat. She could hear the barely audible breaths, helped by the respirator.

Yes he was alive.

She became scared. For the first time in a long time she faced the fact that even Ichigo could die. She hadn't considered that since she was taken to Soul Society to be executed. After he rescued her he somewhat seemed… unbeatable. And it hit her like a brick when she realized it wasn't true.

She moved a bit closer. Laid her hand on his and touched his cheek with a few fingers with the other hand, so careful as if his skin would break by her feathery touch. Her careful movements moved from his cheek on his chin and back to his cheek. Ever so lightly she placed a small palm on his cheek. It was colder than usual.

"Please, Ichigo. Don't leave them. Don't leave your family. Don't leave… me." she whispered and blinked a couple of times, a single tear rolling down her pale cheek. "You mean… so much… for me. If you don't make it, the spot you fill in my heart will be left empty and my heart will shatter." she continued and a tear fell from her other eye. And then one more. Her hand started shaking slightly. With her thumb she brushed over his cheekbone and she smiled weakly and softly before removing her hand from his torn face. After all that had happened that night, he finally looked peaceful.

"I-Ichigo y-you fool." she whispered. "Why do you always have to keep fighting? Why didn't you just run away? Why didn't you just think about yourself just for once?" For a short moment she started to sob, but stopped and sniffled, tears still running freely down her cheeks anyway.

"I… Ich… After all that have happened I… it made me realize just how much I… need you. It's probably silly and stupid, but… I…I… I-I think I…love y-you, Ichigo." she whispered. "I just wish you could hear me." she finished and looked down, clutching his hand.

She didn't see the pair of foggy amber brown eyes slowly crack open. Or the shaky smile forming on the scratched face.

"I g-gotta admit that was a q-question I wondered about for a p-pretty long t-time." a weak hoarse voice joked. The bandaged hand turned around in her grip and closed around hers.

Rukias head jolted up, eyes wide and a tint of pink on her cheeks.

"B-baka." she whispered.

His smile faded.

"You are…crying. For me? You shouldn't."

"I know I shouldn't, but I do anyway." she snapped back in a hissing, quiet voice.

"But why?"

"You were about to die for crying out loud! Can't you see you're being kept alive by machines? I found you lying in your own blood, unconscious and dying. It would be pretty hard not to cry." she said, her voice raising a little, her eyes becoming shinier.

"I'm… I know. I thought I wouldn't wake up. The last thing I saw was you. You… saved me didn't you?" he looked down. "You shouldn't have. I stayed there so no one would get hurt. My efforts were a little in vain when you risked your life to save me Rukia."

She tried to look angry, but seeing his eyes yet again, made her so relieved and happy that she mostly wanted to choke him to death in the biggest hug she could ever manage. Instead she caressed his cheek with the back of her hand and her face loosened up.

"Just… try to get some rest. You're obviously exhausted and your wounds are not even nearly healed yet. I'll tell you everything you want to know tomorrow. Kay?"

Ichigo sighed and a smile crept on his lips.

"Alright. But you have to promise me that you won't sit here the rest of the night. You have to get some sleep yourself."

Rukia's face softened even more and a smile wider than Ichigo's crept onto her lips as well.

"Right. Now will you please get some sleep?" she answered in an exasperated voice.

"Yeah, yeah, jeez." he said and waved a hand in front of her. It looked somewhat unpleasant and strange with an IV drop sticking to the back of his bandaged hand and the tube, connecting with a bag of liquid, dangling around as he did, and Rukia winced a bit in her mind. He closed his hazel eyes slowly and sighed.

He cracked one eye open and looked at her.

"What about Yuzu and Karin?"

"They're home. They left not long ago." Rukia answered. She was about to tell him about when Yuzu came in but chose not to. There was no reason to burden him with mental troubles other than his physical ones.

"That's…good…" he said and trailed off. Rukia smiled. He fell asleep.

"I am going to sleep eventually. But right now I just want to gaze at the beautiful night." she whispered.

Yes it was beautiful. Like if it changed in just a few moments. The stars twinkled and the sky was a deep dark violet. From sorrowful to beautiful.

"Im glad… that you're ok. Ichigo."

----------------

A/N: Ok so there it was. I want to thank my betaer Trox for helping me. Please review and tell me if this was good. Or if there was something I should change, ideas for the next chapter perhaps. I can take flames too, but id rather have some which actually help me and not just say "This sux and u do 2! :0" That's not very helpful u know.. Well hope you enjoyed.