Sung to Hotel California by The Eagles
HOTEL PPTH
On a cool Jersey noon time
Cool wind in his hair
Warm smell of a Reuben
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
Was a familiar site
His right thigh ached and his stomach growled
He went and parked his bike
Cuddy stood in the doorway
Both hands on each hip
"House, you're late. Patient in room 3."
"Give 'em aspirin – Wow, I can see your slip!"
Then he went to his office
He saw the triplets there
They looked up – gave him a dirty look
House just sat in his chair
CHORUS:
Welcome to the Hotel PPTH
With all of it's gloom
And all of it's doom
Lots of ill patients in the halls of PPTH
Every single day –
They're always in his way
He's got a thing for Angelina
But she's in love with that guy
Carmen Electra is just as hot-
And she's not shy
Chase does his crosswords
Cameron opens mail
Foreman steals Cam's article
Wilson pays House's bail
So House putS on the headphones
Then he leans back
He thinks
"If I keep this up much longer, I'll have a heart attack"
The pain killer starts calling his name from far away
Wakes him up in the middle of the night
To take his pain away
CHORUS:
Welcome to the Hotel PPTH
With all of it's gloom
And all of it's doom
He's livin' it up in the halls of PPTH
Everybody lies
Some patient dies
He was once in love with Stacy
Lived as one for five years
But she said
"I Can't do this anymore-I have to leave"
House had to hide his tears
All House had was James Wilson
He was a real good friend
Said he'd be there for Gregory House
Up 'til the very end
The day he hired Cameron
He hoped there'd be a day
He could tell her he loved her
So then they could run away
"Relax," said Doctor Wilson
"She's engaged to Robert Chase"
House replied, "He may have a sexy voice,
But I've got a prettier face!"