Title: Truth in lying

Summary: Beckett finds out Castle has been keeping a secret from her.

Disclaimer: If you recognize a name, odds are that character isn't mine. But seeing as this is a fanfic website, you probably knew that already.

Thanks again to Sunshiny-Kate, the best beta a writer could ask for!

Truth in lying

Something pulled Kate from the depths of sleep, though she wasn't sure what had awakened her. After lying there for a few minutes she felt a tinge of thirst overcome her. She got out of bed, leaving the lightly snoring Castle alone and walked into his office as she wrapped her robe around herself to stay warm. Her gaze wandered through the room lit only by the moonlight peeking through the blinds. When her eyes fell on his touch-screen computer that he never let her use she walked towards it, her desire for water forgotten. Never one to back down from curiosity or pass up an opportunity like this, she turned it on. She knew he kept his storyboards and outlines on there, and she'd love a peek into his new Nikki Heat novel.

She sighed softly as a password prompt came up. She thought for a moment and typed in the word 'always'. Nothing happened. She tried several combinations of 'Nikki' and 'Heat' with no success. On a whim she typed in the word 'apple'. She smiled and glanced towards the bedroom when it was accepted. Little things like that were constantly making her fall even more in love with him.

As the main screen came up, her smile quickly disappeared. Her picture was staring back at her and it was surrounded by several others. Included amongst them was her mother and those involved with her murder. She instantly knew what all this was and stormed back into the bedroom. She went to his side of the bed and leaned in so she was only a foot away. Angry as she was, she didn't want to wake up Alexis or Martha.

"What in the world are you doing?" Kate said in a loud hiss of a whisper.

Castle's eyes jerked open at the noise. He looked up at Kate as he tried to blink away the haze.

"Sleeping?" He answered groggily. "You should try it sometime."

"You are investigating my mothers murder. Behind my back. While telling me not to."

She was speaking so fast he was struggling to understand her. He sat up and noticed the glow coming from his office and all the pieces fell into place.

"Kate." He said with a sigh.

"No, Rick, don't Kate me. I had given up. I let it go so I could have you. I knew you'd wait but I didn't want to make you. Plus, I didn't want to wait anymore and so I knew I had to choose between her case or you. And here you are, working on it, lying to me, knowing that I -"

"Kate. Stop. You're rambling, and I can barely keep up." He spoke gently, not wanting to upset her even more.

"No, I'm going to finish. This isn't fair. Partners aren't supposed to hide things from each other." She crossed her arms.

The tiniest spark of anger flashed in his eyes.

"You lied about the day of your shooting." He said as he got out of the bed. "I lied to protect you. You lied to protect yourself."

"I lied to protect us! I wanted to give you all of me, not some damaged, half-hearted version." She threw her hands up in the air and then let them drop down to her sides. "I couldn't do that then and so I was willing to put aside what I wanted until I could. I thought it would be easier for you of you didn't know."

Castle took a step toward her, but stopped when she took a step back. He sighed again.

"Kate, you gave me that speech when I found out you had heard me. I accepted it then because I love you. And I still accept it, but it's no different than what I did."

"It's completely different." She said, each word dripping with emotion.

"No. It isn't." He shook his head as he spoke. His voice was quieter than hers, but sounded just as angry and hurt.

"Yes, Rick, it is." She turned and started to walk to the closet so she could get dressed.

She didn't even have the chance to take her robe off before Castle caught up to her and grabbed her arm gently. He slowly turned her back to face him.

"I'm not letting you run away from this." He said in a stressful whisper.

She pulled her arm from his grip but he caught hold of her again and kept her from speaking by wrapping her in a tight hug against his chest. She fought against his strong arms, but he had her pinned. After nearly a minute passed she quit fighting and let the tears fall. Each one felt like it was on fire as it left a trail down her face and dripped onto the fabric of the robe pressed between them. Castle waited a couple of minutes before he began speaking.

"I got a phone call, from a stranger, not long after you were shot. He said he was a friend of Montgomery's. Roy had sent him some evidence that could guarantee your protection, but only if you stopped looking. So I kept you from really digging into it. I knew I was risking never being with you." He pulled Kate back just enough to look into her eyes. "I did it because I'd rather live my whole life without you by my side than have to live one second knowing you were dead."

His blunt words made her chuckle. She saw his confused look, and made his eyes widen even more as she rose to her tiptoes and kissed him softly. She pulled away a moment later.

"Not using your fancy words tonight?"

He caught on to what had made her laugh.

"I was preoccupied."

They searched each other's eyes. Both could tell what the other was feeling. Suddenly, Kate wasn't mad anymore and she relaxed in his hold. She placed her head against his chest.

"Rick. I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I was so angry and confused and hurt when I saw that murder board."

He smiled as he laid his cheek against the top of her head.

"I was going to tell you. When I'd solved it. When you would have been safe. I'm sorry for hiding it from you, but I'm not sorry that I kept looking. I want you to have the closure you need."

Kate took a deep breath and let it out in a soft huff.

"So you put yourself in danger? What about Alexis and your mother? What about me? What if you'd been killed, Rick? We would have all been lost without you."

"I've been careful. And technically they only said you couldn't look into it."

"It was still a risk."

"I know."

"Will you let me help?"

He sighed and kissed the top of her head.

"Kate, it still isn't safe."

She turned her head so they were looking at each other again.

"I'll stay in the background. I won't go crazy. I'll let you do that."

At that they both chuckled. Their eyes were locked and full of emotion.

"Please, Rick."

"On one condition." She raised her eyebrow at him expectantly. "Come back to bed. I'm freezing."

She laughed and nodded. She took off the robe and they crawled into the bed. He pulled her to him, wrapping his arms back around her. This time she didn't try to break free. They laid there listening to the sound of each other breathing. Just as Kate was drifting off to sleep, Castle spoke, his voice muffled slightly by her hair.

"How'd you guess my password anyway?"

"I'm a detective. It's what I do." She replied, making them both smile.

"Goodnight, Kate. I love you."

"I love you too, Rick."