DISCLAIMER: I don't own these wonderful characters, I just use them to exercise my muse.
SPOILERS: Bloodlines
SYNOPSIS: Grissom and Sara try to rekindle a lost friendship. (The song "One More Try" belongs to it's writer George Michael.)
One More Try
He placed his hand on hers and said, "C'mon, I'll take you home." No lectures, no judgemental looks, or tone to his voice. Just the concerned man Grissom can be when a friend needs him just to be there.
Sara couldn't look at him, she was feeling very ashamed of herself, and how she had let herself become all in the name of unrequited love.
When she had gotten pulled over for driving erratically, it was not because of the couple of drinks she had with her co-workers, it was because of the tears she was shedding as she listened to the lyrics of the song that was coming out of her car stereo.
I've had enough of danger,
And people on the streets,
I'm looking out for angels,
Just trying to find some peace,
Now I think it's time,
That you let me know,
So if you love me,
Say you love me,
But if you don't just let me go.....
Sara had been thinking about how she had let the friendship, she cherished so, fall apart, especially after she overheard the speech Grissom made, in the interrogation room, to Dr. Lurie. His words weighed on her mind ever since and she had let them lead her to a place she never thought she'd be.
Sara was finally facing the fact that Grissom didn't share the deep feelings she had for him. She wanted to still have his friendship, but, was afraid her love for him had jaded her for anything other than the relationship she so deeply wanted.
Cos teacher,
There are thing I don't want to learn,
And the last one I had,
Made me cry,
So I don't want to learn to,
Hold you touch you,
Think that you're mine,
Because there ain't no joy,
For an uptown boy,
Whose teacher has told him goodbye.
Grissom was concerned for his team member and one person whom he considered a friend. He was concerned for her safety, yet he wondered when the friendship had gone astray. As he sat there looking at her, his hand on hers, he thought it best just to get her safely home and not pass judgement on her, for the situation she had gotten herself into. He had noticed the saddness that seemed to have invaded her very being. He wanted to be her friend again, to see her smile, but didn't know how to go about it. 'This' he thought, 'would probably be a good place to start,'
Grissom rose, his hand still on hers, and she followed him lost in her own alcohol clouded thoughts. She just wanted to go home and put this incident behind her. Yet she was still not able to look at him, for fear of the hurt that she might see in his beautiful blue eyes. 'It feels so very good to hold his hand,' she thought as they walked through the deserted halls of the building where she practically lived. 'I wish there was a way for me to tell him how I really feel, but, that would probably ruin whatever remains of a friendship we may still have,' she was nearly in tears with the thoughts she knew needed to be shoved from her hazy mind.
When you were just a stranger.
And I was at your feet,
I didn't feel the danger,
Now I feel the heat,
That look in your eyes,
Telling me no,
So you think that you love me,
Know that you need me,
I wrote this song,
I know it's wrong,
Just let me go.
Finally in his Denali, headed for her home she mustered up her last bit of alcohol induced courage and spoke, "Grissom, why can't we be friends anymore," she asked still not able to look at him, instead choosing to stare out the windsheild, looking for what; she didn't know.
"Sara, I don't know," he replied hesitantly shaking his head not wanting to have this conversation yet. He felt a migrane building behind his eyes.
"Do you think we could try to be friends again," Sara finally looked over at him finding more courage than she thought she had.
Grissom kept his eyes on the road with her question echoing through the pain that pounded in his head. he searched for just the right words. "I think that we should try to be friends, Sara, just friends," he finally managed to say.
She could see the struggle he was having, after knowing him for so long, she knew he was fighting back one of his migranes. She wanted to touch him, comfort him, hold him, kiss the pain away. "Sara, you can't have these thoughts anymore, he's your friend and your boss nothing more,' she let her mind speak to her. "You have a migrane, don't you, Grissom? I'm so sorry for putting you through this."
"Yes, Sara, you always manage to know that. Dont' be sorry, I'm glad to help out a friend." he was glad the words were finally coming out right. He had even kept his tone even and friendly, yet this was going to be a bad headache.
"We're friends. Good. Thanks, Grissom," Sara said with a smile spreading across her face. She felt better, lighter, with a little of the happiness she once knew creeping back in.
And teacher,
There are things,
That I don't want to learn,
Oh, the last one I had,
Made me cry,
So I don't want to learn,
To hold you touch you,
Think that you're mine,
Because there ain't no joy,
In an uptown, boy,
Whose teacher has told him goodbye.
Pulling up to Sara's apartment building, Grissom got out of the Denali and went around, to be the gentleman he is, to open the door and see her safely inside.
"Thank you, Grissom," Sara said once inside her apartment.
"Are you sure you're going to be alright," he asked the concern clearly displayed in his eyes and evident in his voice.
"Grissom, please come in. I'm going to fix us both some coffee, we need to talk," Sara was grasping onto her last ounce of courage for she was going to spill her guts out to him, in an effort to find peace for herself, and the only way she could think of to start their friendship over on an even keel.
So when you say that you need me,
That you'll never leave me,
I know you're wrong,
You're not that strong,
Let me go.
Grissom accepted the invitation and went inside not sure what to expect, he was willing to listen. He hoped he could say whatever he needed to say in response to the words she would say without the ususal hesitation, for he truly wanted to help Sara and see if the friendship they once had could begin again.
Sara started coffee, got out cups, spoons, sugar, cream, and finally faced him to speak. "Please let me say this and when I'm through you can respond or not, whatever you do I will understand."
"Okay, you have my undivided attention," Grissom said taking a seat at her kitchen counter.
"Grissom, I don't know what happened to mess up our friendship, or maybe I do. I love you and I now know you don't feel the same way. I can't help what I feel, it's that old heart rules the head stuff. I would like to put all the things in the past aside and try to be friends again," she could feel a great sense of relief wash over her as she spoke the words she knew needed to be aired for such as long time. "I hope I haven't done anything that would damage our friendship forever. I so want us to be friends, maybe, like we were so long ago." Sara looked into his deep blue eyes hoping to see that he was going to accept her words and not just walk away, her heart couldn't take it if he walked away.
"Sara," he started shocked that he had never realize just how deeply her feelings for him ran. "I don't love you, and I'm sorry if hearing that hurts you. I do want us to be friends like we were once. I do care about you, but, more like a friend would care about another close friend. I don't want to be a source of whatever pain you may feel. I couldn't stand that. Let's just be friends once again, I would love to see your smile and hear your laughter once again," he was amazed by the fact that he could speak the words without his usual hesitation.
Sara poured them both coffee as she mulled over what he had just said, he wanted to still be friends with her even after her revelation. She found a new respect for the handsome man that sat across from her. "I would love nothing more than to be counted as your friend," she said looking up at him with her winning smile, feeling so much better for having found the courage to reveal to him that which had been weighing her down for so long. She turned to her kitchen and started to pull all the booze bottles out from their hiding places and proceeded to empty them down the drain, no longer needing to numb the pain that had filled her heart. He joined her helping her to be rid of her liquid demons, and as they worked together, once again, they were joking and laughing like these two friends used to be able to do.
"I had better go need to rest up for our next shift. I'm glad we could talk. I'll see you tonight at work, then," he said heading for the door.
"I'll be there, thank you for listening and being there when I needed you, friend," Sara said as she walked him to the door.
"If you need to talk you have my number. Well see you later," he said heading out to his Denali. "Hey, you need a ride to work?"
"Yeah, they impounded my car," Sara responded.
"Good, I'll come by early and we'll go pick up your car, how's that," he stood there outside her door with his head cocked to one side, a half smile on his face.
"Sounds like a plan," she replied smiling back at him.
She watched him walk away knowing that most all of her demons were now gone. You can never really get rid of all your demons, but, she had rid herself of the ones that were causing her to be down and needing a crutch to numb the pain. Her pain was now lifted and she would once againg look forward to her job and her friendship. She would always love him.
END