Ever since that night, I have been dreaming about you. I had never thought of you as such attractive until that night, it was half a year before I would be officially returning to Big Brother's. You suddenly invited me to your villa in Central (seriously, I have no idea how you did this, even though it is in the Mid-Levels, with such grand chateau in such limited space.) Those eyes, clear blue within the radiating moonlight, they twinkled and shone under your mass of overly thick eyebrows. You brushed your blond hair carelessly with a hand and took another sip of the champagne which was resting on the windowsill. It had been a while since you had invited me to this place, especially since Big Brother approached you a few years ago to negotiate about my custody. Had it already been 99 years since New Territories had even come under your care? Had it already been 155 years since the Opium War? So Mei Mei was right then, this day will most likely come.
"It has been a while, Horis," you started. I did not reply you, as usual.
"You are always this quiet, eh?"
Still, I stayed silent.
You gave a small chuckle and walked over to the edge. "It's such a hot day today. It's much cooler in England." You handed me a cup of the champagne you were drinking, or so you declare to be. I accepted it, still keeping a zipped lip.
"Dear me, Horis, can you just smile for once? You look so much better with some emotions!"
"It's not like you haven't seen me smile in all these years!" I grumbled.
"It had been four months since we last saw each other and your tongue is still a lethal weapon." You walked over and lifted my chin, "But it is one of the things I like from you."
That slap must have caught you by surprise when you only stared at me unbelievably while massaging the reddened cheek with one hand. "Horis, what was that for?!"
"That's..." I wanted to go on, go on complaining how you had decided to give me up, after all these years together, to send me back to that lonely family of mine which I had no sense of belonging to. You said you loved me, but why? Why are you sending me away? I did not do anything wrong! Me and my people were working so hard and managed to push Hong Kong to an international level. You said you were proud of me, proud of me as your dear partner. Then you gave me up, after all I had given you! I had given you everything, Arthur Kirkland, everything! So now you just want to throw me back to Big Brother and act like nothing had happened between us?!
"Horis?" you laid a hand on my cheek, just like the time in Stanley when we celebrated the end of war. "Is there something wrong?"
Of course everything was wrong! I loved you, and you knew that all along, but you never did anything. All you did was to treat me like your dear partner and that's it! I heard from Al that you 'fancied' me too. Then why the distance? Why the comradely tone? Why don't you just fricking kiss me that time in Stanley?! 我頂！ (bullshit)
I did not realize tears were rolling down my cheeks. You panicked, though you wiped them away gently with your thumb, your eyes were full of distress. I can tell. I have been with you for 155 years. There was nothing we haven't been through. The Opium War, both World Wars, financial regression… it would take me forever to list all the things we'd been through, and yet, you chose distance, you chose to leave me. My people were leaving me for Matthew since they're afraid of the lingering communism shrouded upon Big Brother. I have nothing now not even you.
"Hey, you still remember the time when we first met?" I stared blankly at you, I was so confused.
"You were such a tiny thing," you continued, placing an arm around me, like the time when I was worried about Honda-san's decision to place some of his men in my home. "You were hiding behind Yao like I was going to eat you. Man, how time has passed. You are now snapping at me like you're about to eat me instead…"
Only the wind spoke for us at this moment. Man, how time has passed. Below us, the city was bustling about with its cars and money and progression. But we're all the way up in the peak, appreciating graduation of colours in the vast infinity. This was Arthur's favourite spot, and it will always be my favourite spot. Here we could look into the distance and it would just go on and on and on into the horizon. You once said your empire would expand further than the horizon until the world was yours. 155 years after this claim, we're at the same place, looking out into the distance as it went on and on and on into the horizon. This would always be our moment, our frame in time.
"Say, Horis…" I turned to you, expecting another sentimental speech. Instead, you started leaning forward, first in centimetres, then in millimetres, until our lips were just a breath apart. Your eyes were only slightly parted, but mine were wide open. I had no idea what to expect, should I lean forward, should I take a step back, my usual rational mind suddenly became the moss on one of the rocks below.
Instinct pushed my body forward, but I wasn't welcome by another pair of lips. You retrieved your briefcase which once held the dreaded handover documents in my hands. With a soft "I can't", you left me in a whirlwind of disappointment and angst and left me forever. Of course you couldn't, not when you would officially lose me to Big Brother in a week.
You once said your empire would expand further than the horizon until the world was yours. Now you've lost everything, including me.