The strangest thing was that I didn't even regret my decision. I thought I would be more heartbroken than this after giving up Haruhi for my brother Hikaru. But I didn't feel anything. Just this little pain in my chest every time I looked at her.
When I first realized that I was in love with Haruhi, I was honestly not surprised. I mean, why wouldn't I? She was smart, funny, sarcastic, and she fit my and Hikaru's style to a key. Plus, she was one of the few that could tell us apart by just a glance. That was the first thing that really stood out about her. And after I got to know her more, the more I liked her and her interesting way of looking at things.
Then was around the time that I noticed how much my brother and milord liked her too.
When I noticed I had competition, I wondered what was special about me that would stand out to Haruhi. Hikaru may look exactly like me, but we were very different in many ways. When we were together, we often thought the exact same things, but when we were by ourselves I was usually an observer and philosopher who gave my opinion here and then but didn't stand out as much. Where Hikaru was flamboyant and dense and drew people to him. Milord was that way too in everything he did. Compared to theses two, I had no chance.
But there was also that I was scared that Haruhi would cause a rift between me and Hikaru.
Hikaru and I have been together all our lives. We were inseparable. When things got tough, we stuck together and everything worked out. But that wouldn't work this time.
Haruhi could only have one lover. No matter how I felt, I was too soft to be selfish and take her for myself. Another thing that was different about me and Hikaru. So I told Haruhi how I felt and gave her up for my brother.
Maybe I am too soft. But if that's all to see my brother happy, then I guess I don't mind.
(A/N) Just a little drabble that I needed to get out of my head about Kaoru's feelings on giving up Haruhi. That was one of the major parts in Ouran that made me cry so I felt like I needed to write about it.