Summary: Set a while in the future, Buffy goes to visit Xander and some
revelations occur. I can't say more, because I'm hoping it'll be a surprise
Spoilers: Through the fourth season.
Disclaimer: Joss made the characters. I'm pretty sure he did it to see how
many times he could break my heart in a single season.
Rating: PG13
Feedback: Please, oh please!
Thanks to Tracy, beta goddess Extraordinare.
Author's Note: This is not a B/X fic, *nor* is it a W/X fic. You'll have to
read to see what I mean.
* * * * *
The door unlocked, and Buffy opened it, stepping inside. She let it fall
closed behind her as she set forth to see Xander.
When she reached his room, she paused outside of the open door. He looked
good. Better than good. He was older, thinner, but just as handsome as he
always had been. His hair wasn't as thick as it always had been before, but
his skin was still smooth, without any signs of aging. He wore white
drawstring pants and a white T-shirt, and he sat quietly, drawing something
in charcoal on a large pad of paper.
She cleared her throat, and he looked up.
Xander stared at her for a moment, taking in her sad smile and her long,
braided hair. Her stomach was slightly swollen, but she looked at peace.
Buffy watched him, waiting for some sign that he recognized her.
He finally smiled, his eyes lit with the dark fire of remembered friendship.
He stood from his bed and walked over to her, stopping just before he pulled
her into a hug. Holding her at arms length, he nodded towards her belly.
"Is it okay?"
Buffy laughed. "It won't be if you don't hug me."
Xander grinned, scooping her tightly in his arms, but trying to avoid
crushing her. She hugged him back just as tightly, tears filling her eyes,
her hands cradling his head.
After a long moment, he pulled away, leading her over to the bed. "Sit! I
can't have... someone who's in your condition being... well, on their feet."
"Why?" Buffy asked teasingly.
"Because if your water breaks, my floor is going to get sopping wet," he
retorted.
Buffy laughed, lightly slapping his arm. "I'm only six months along, you
dork. And you want your bed getting wet, anyway?"
"It wouldn't be anything new," he grinned.
Buffy wrinkled her nose at the image that implied, and then sank down onto
the mattress gratefully. In truth, she was tired from the long drive. Tired
and hot. But it was worth it, to see Xander's smile again. After so long.
Too long...
"So what brings you here?" he asked. "And how did you get in? We have
pretty good security in this apartment, and they probably didn't recognize
you. Besides that, the door was locked. It always is. Gotta keep the evil
out, you know?"
Buffy blinked. "Well, I... talked to them for a while, and explained that I
was an old friend. I told them I knew your middle name, and since we all
know how much you keep that under wraps, they believed me. They even paid to
find out what it was."
Xander rolled his eyes. "You told them?"
"Danger."
"What?"
"I told them it was Danger," she giggled, her eyes sparkling.
Xander heaved a mock sigh of relief. "Well, now that that's out of the way,
you still haven't mentioned why you're here."
Buffy looked at him incredulously. "That's the only thing you're curious
about?" When he didn't answer, she exhaled. "Well, I just wanted to see
you. It's going to be ten years next weekend since we last saw each other,
and since we used to be so close, I wanted to come by. Giles wanted to come,
too, but his wife is *way* more pregnant than I am."
Xander's beautiful eyebrows arched. "Really? Giles knocked someone up?"
Buffy smirked. "Yes. They've been married for two years now. She's a
professor at SU. She's really great... I see why he fell for her. It's
funny," she said thoughtfully. "Giles, as stuffy as he is, always fell in
love with the women who could bring out the most life in him. Jenny. That
woman Sarah he was seeing for a while. Even my mother. Then Julia, and that
was it."
Xander leaned forward for another hug. He kissed the top of her hair and
then pulled away, resting his hand on her stomach. Buffy smiled. "And
this... Angel's?" he guessed.
Buffy looked down and gave a weak laugh. "Angel. ...Yes, he's Angel's."
"He?"
Buffy met his eyes, her smile coming back. "I had the sonogram done last
week. Most definitely a him."
"And how did you get past... well, you know. The curse. And the
no-baby-for-vampires thing?" he pressed gently.
"Well, we... um," Buffy stuttered, "We just did. That was a really hard
time. Is it okay if we don't talk about it?"
Xander nodded, looking regretful. "I'm sorry."
Buffy shook her head. "No need. So, what are you drawing?" She peered to
the sketch pad and smiled.
Xander looked sheepish. "Us. All of us. Before we all graduated. I was
thinking about that the other day," he explained. "Us graduating. The fight
with the Mayor. All of it, all of our high school years."
"You were thinking about the fight with the Mayor?" Buffy asked, picking at
the bedspread.
"Yeah, it's been so long!" He smiled. "Ten years, really, since all that
went down. Angel leaving for LA. Even before that. My first kisses with
Willow, Cordy getting stabbed through with that pole. Your years in college.
Willow's and my wedding."
He glanced at the clock as he said that. "She should have been home about an
hour ago, actually. She'll be sad if she misses you. But she won't, right?
I mean, I know she takes a while with the shopping... Christmas is a couple
of months away, so she's been on this fanatical spree. And she's got the
kids with her, so it'll be even longer. You know Willow."
"Yeah," Buffy said faintly. "I know Willow. Kids?"
"What, you all didn't get the notes? I mean, I would understand if Oz
didn't, being so famous and all... And besides, him being in love with
Willow, almost marrying her might put a strain on the relationship he would
want with Willow and I. But I was sure that you and Giles got them," Xander
said, concerned.
"No," she answered softly. "But then, we'd probably already moved to
different addresses. Maybe... Maybe Willow misplaced the new ones."
Xander nodded. "That makes sense." He handed her the book. "Do you want
some water?"
"I'd love some," Buffy said automatically, opening the sketchbook to glance
inside. Xander smiled and got up to fill a cup with water from the tap.
"Sorry, but Arrowhead doesn't deliver here anymore," he explained
regretfully. "But this doesn't taste like the average tap water, though. So
don't worry."
He handed the paper cup to her, and Buffy drank deeply from it. Her eyes
were wide; she didn't seem to be listening to him anymore. She stared down
at the pictures. "I didn't realize you were so good," she finally whispered.
Xander shrugged modestly. "I was the fun geek in high school and while
everyone was in college. I existed pretty much to make you guys laugh, which
don't get me wrong, I loved doing. The fact that I could draw didn't seem to
matter much. But it's how I make my living now."
"It is?"
"Yep." His eyes shined darkly at her. "Willow convinced me to do it, when
she opened up her magic shop. It was really the only thing I was qualified
to do, so I did. And painting people, even if it's rich, ugly people who are
paying you to distort their faces into something attractive, seems to have
made a nice life for all of us."
Buffy's eyes wandered over the drawings. A few of her, in battle. Some of
Angel, fighting the whole fleet of vampires at... graduation? The whole
student body, tumbling down the steps in a vicious battle scene that was
beautifully depicted on the paper. And lots of Willow. Some of her with
long hair, some with her hair short. All of her looking sweet and innocent
and perfectly Willow-y. There were even a few where Willow and Xander were
kissing, though Buffy didn't know how Xander could have drawn himself. And
some where they were all older. At a wedding.
One of the pictures was Buffy, fluffing out Willow's veil and smiling at her
best friend. And some of Willow walking down the aisle, some of Xander
kissing her at the end of the ceremony. One of Angel and Buffy, holding
hands. Cordelia smiling. Two where Cordelia was hugging Xander. One of Oz,
who looked sad and pensive. One where he hugged Willow. Three of Giles, one
where he was shaking Xander's hand, one where he was hugging Willow, and the
last where he was simply standing next to his Slayer, in front of the buffet
table.
"The detail," Buffy murmured, her eyes moist with new tears. "The faces on
the cake look like you and Willow."
"Yeah, they were specially made, remember?"
Buffy turned the page. The group at graduation. Just Willow, Xander, Buffy,
Cordelia and Oz. All smiling and holding their diplomas, in front of a
decimated school. They looked happy and full of life.
She finally turned to the last drawing. They were young, younger than in any
of the other pictures. It was of all of them, even Oz though he hadn't been
a real part of the group yet then. They were sitting on the steps of the
Library, Buffy in the middle, sitting on Angel's lap. Willow and Oz were on
one side of them and Xander and Cordelia, holding each other around the
waist, were on the other. Giles was in the back, on one of the steps,
looking as though he was trying to be disinterested, but there was a faint
smile around his mouth that told otherwise.
"The picture," Buffy said.
Xander's smile was tight. "Yeah. I don't like that one very much. Don't
you think the one of us at graduation is better?"
"No," she choked, "I like this one. Things were simple then. This was..."
"Before Angel turned, yeah." Xander had an edge in his voice, but he smiled
sympathetically. "It's the only one I've drawn before the night of... Well,
the night of Acathla. I didn't mean to upset you."
She hugged the pad to her chest. "It didn't... Not really. I think it's
beautiful. Xander, the day we took that picture... One of the best times in
my life. After that, everything was different. Xander?"
He waited silently, and she looked up at him. Her eyes were pleading, but he
didn't know what she was asking him for. Buffy didn't know either, but she
knew that it was important, more important than it ever had been before. She
just needed Xander to... She just needed him to...
He stood up and took her cup, glancing at the clock again. "I'm really
starting to worry about Willow," he muttered. "Are you still Slaying?"
Buffy's silent question dissipated into the air. She smiled, and glanced
down at herself. "As much as I can, which is still pretty decent. In a
couple of more months, though, I won't be able to do anything but sit on my
ass and wait for him to be born."
"Much like me, when Willow was pregnant," Xander grinned.
Buffy laughed quietly, and then stood. She picked up her purse. "I need to
go. Get checked into the hotel, you know. And then I'm going to take a pass
around the city for any unruly demon-y things. But I'll be back tomorrow,
okay? Tell... Tell Willow that I'm at the Lodge if she wants to call."
Xander stood, walking her to his door. He gave her a hug. "Will do. And,
Buffy?"
She had started walking away, but she stopped at his voice and turned.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for coming. I'm glad you're here." He smiled again. "I'm sure
Willow will be too."
Buffy nodded, not wanting to leave, but realizing that it was getting late
and she had to. She touched his hand, then squeezed it as she was walking
down the hall, and felt his eyes on her until she turned the corner that led
to the door. Xander watched her with a light in his eyes until she was out
of sight, and then walked to the phone.
He rang the doorman. "Yes, hello. That girl, who just came. Let her in
anytime she shows up. She's a close friend of ours, from high school."
The doorman sighed over the phone. "Whatever you say."
revelations occur. I can't say more, because I'm hoping it'll be a surprise
Spoilers: Through the fourth season.
Disclaimer: Joss made the characters. I'm pretty sure he did it to see how
many times he could break my heart in a single season.
Rating: PG13
Feedback: Please, oh please!
Thanks to Tracy, beta goddess Extraordinare.
Author's Note: This is not a B/X fic, *nor* is it a W/X fic. You'll have to
read to see what I mean.
* * * * *
The door unlocked, and Buffy opened it, stepping inside. She let it fall
closed behind her as she set forth to see Xander.
When she reached his room, she paused outside of the open door. He looked
good. Better than good. He was older, thinner, but just as handsome as he
always had been. His hair wasn't as thick as it always had been before, but
his skin was still smooth, without any signs of aging. He wore white
drawstring pants and a white T-shirt, and he sat quietly, drawing something
in charcoal on a large pad of paper.
She cleared her throat, and he looked up.
Xander stared at her for a moment, taking in her sad smile and her long,
braided hair. Her stomach was slightly swollen, but she looked at peace.
Buffy watched him, waiting for some sign that he recognized her.
He finally smiled, his eyes lit with the dark fire of remembered friendship.
He stood from his bed and walked over to her, stopping just before he pulled
her into a hug. Holding her at arms length, he nodded towards her belly.
"Is it okay?"
Buffy laughed. "It won't be if you don't hug me."
Xander grinned, scooping her tightly in his arms, but trying to avoid
crushing her. She hugged him back just as tightly, tears filling her eyes,
her hands cradling his head.
After a long moment, he pulled away, leading her over to the bed. "Sit! I
can't have... someone who's in your condition being... well, on their feet."
"Why?" Buffy asked teasingly.
"Because if your water breaks, my floor is going to get sopping wet," he
retorted.
Buffy laughed, lightly slapping his arm. "I'm only six months along, you
dork. And you want your bed getting wet, anyway?"
"It wouldn't be anything new," he grinned.
Buffy wrinkled her nose at the image that implied, and then sank down onto
the mattress gratefully. In truth, she was tired from the long drive. Tired
and hot. But it was worth it, to see Xander's smile again. After so long.
Too long...
"So what brings you here?" he asked. "And how did you get in? We have
pretty good security in this apartment, and they probably didn't recognize
you. Besides that, the door was locked. It always is. Gotta keep the evil
out, you know?"
Buffy blinked. "Well, I... talked to them for a while, and explained that I
was an old friend. I told them I knew your middle name, and since we all
know how much you keep that under wraps, they believed me. They even paid to
find out what it was."
Xander rolled his eyes. "You told them?"
"Danger."
"What?"
"I told them it was Danger," she giggled, her eyes sparkling.
Xander heaved a mock sigh of relief. "Well, now that that's out of the way,
you still haven't mentioned why you're here."
Buffy looked at him incredulously. "That's the only thing you're curious
about?" When he didn't answer, she exhaled. "Well, I just wanted to see
you. It's going to be ten years next weekend since we last saw each other,
and since we used to be so close, I wanted to come by. Giles wanted to come,
too, but his wife is *way* more pregnant than I am."
Xander's beautiful eyebrows arched. "Really? Giles knocked someone up?"
Buffy smirked. "Yes. They've been married for two years now. She's a
professor at SU. She's really great... I see why he fell for her. It's
funny," she said thoughtfully. "Giles, as stuffy as he is, always fell in
love with the women who could bring out the most life in him. Jenny. That
woman Sarah he was seeing for a while. Even my mother. Then Julia, and that
was it."
Xander leaned forward for another hug. He kissed the top of her hair and
then pulled away, resting his hand on her stomach. Buffy smiled. "And
this... Angel's?" he guessed.
Buffy looked down and gave a weak laugh. "Angel. ...Yes, he's Angel's."
"He?"
Buffy met his eyes, her smile coming back. "I had the sonogram done last
week. Most definitely a him."
"And how did you get past... well, you know. The curse. And the
no-baby-for-vampires thing?" he pressed gently.
"Well, we... um," Buffy stuttered, "We just did. That was a really hard
time. Is it okay if we don't talk about it?"
Xander nodded, looking regretful. "I'm sorry."
Buffy shook her head. "No need. So, what are you drawing?" She peered to
the sketch pad and smiled.
Xander looked sheepish. "Us. All of us. Before we all graduated. I was
thinking about that the other day," he explained. "Us graduating. The fight
with the Mayor. All of it, all of our high school years."
"You were thinking about the fight with the Mayor?" Buffy asked, picking at
the bedspread.
"Yeah, it's been so long!" He smiled. "Ten years, really, since all that
went down. Angel leaving for LA. Even before that. My first kisses with
Willow, Cordy getting stabbed through with that pole. Your years in college.
Willow's and my wedding."
He glanced at the clock as he said that. "She should have been home about an
hour ago, actually. She'll be sad if she misses you. But she won't, right?
I mean, I know she takes a while with the shopping... Christmas is a couple
of months away, so she's been on this fanatical spree. And she's got the
kids with her, so it'll be even longer. You know Willow."
"Yeah," Buffy said faintly. "I know Willow. Kids?"
"What, you all didn't get the notes? I mean, I would understand if Oz
didn't, being so famous and all... And besides, him being in love with
Willow, almost marrying her might put a strain on the relationship he would
want with Willow and I. But I was sure that you and Giles got them," Xander
said, concerned.
"No," she answered softly. "But then, we'd probably already moved to
different addresses. Maybe... Maybe Willow misplaced the new ones."
Xander nodded. "That makes sense." He handed her the book. "Do you want
some water?"
"I'd love some," Buffy said automatically, opening the sketchbook to glance
inside. Xander smiled and got up to fill a cup with water from the tap.
"Sorry, but Arrowhead doesn't deliver here anymore," he explained
regretfully. "But this doesn't taste like the average tap water, though. So
don't worry."
He handed the paper cup to her, and Buffy drank deeply from it. Her eyes
were wide; she didn't seem to be listening to him anymore. She stared down
at the pictures. "I didn't realize you were so good," she finally whispered.
Xander shrugged modestly. "I was the fun geek in high school and while
everyone was in college. I existed pretty much to make you guys laugh, which
don't get me wrong, I loved doing. The fact that I could draw didn't seem to
matter much. But it's how I make my living now."
"It is?"
"Yep." His eyes shined darkly at her. "Willow convinced me to do it, when
she opened up her magic shop. It was really the only thing I was qualified
to do, so I did. And painting people, even if it's rich, ugly people who are
paying you to distort their faces into something attractive, seems to have
made a nice life for all of us."
Buffy's eyes wandered over the drawings. A few of her, in battle. Some of
Angel, fighting the whole fleet of vampires at... graduation? The whole
student body, tumbling down the steps in a vicious battle scene that was
beautifully depicted on the paper. And lots of Willow. Some of her with
long hair, some with her hair short. All of her looking sweet and innocent
and perfectly Willow-y. There were even a few where Willow and Xander were
kissing, though Buffy didn't know how Xander could have drawn himself. And
some where they were all older. At a wedding.
One of the pictures was Buffy, fluffing out Willow's veil and smiling at her
best friend. And some of Willow walking down the aisle, some of Xander
kissing her at the end of the ceremony. One of Angel and Buffy, holding
hands. Cordelia smiling. Two where Cordelia was hugging Xander. One of Oz,
who looked sad and pensive. One where he hugged Willow. Three of Giles, one
where he was shaking Xander's hand, one where he was hugging Willow, and the
last where he was simply standing next to his Slayer, in front of the buffet
table.
"The detail," Buffy murmured, her eyes moist with new tears. "The faces on
the cake look like you and Willow."
"Yeah, they were specially made, remember?"
Buffy turned the page. The group at graduation. Just Willow, Xander, Buffy,
Cordelia and Oz. All smiling and holding their diplomas, in front of a
decimated school. They looked happy and full of life.
She finally turned to the last drawing. They were young, younger than in any
of the other pictures. It was of all of them, even Oz though he hadn't been
a real part of the group yet then. They were sitting on the steps of the
Library, Buffy in the middle, sitting on Angel's lap. Willow and Oz were on
one side of them and Xander and Cordelia, holding each other around the
waist, were on the other. Giles was in the back, on one of the steps,
looking as though he was trying to be disinterested, but there was a faint
smile around his mouth that told otherwise.
"The picture," Buffy said.
Xander's smile was tight. "Yeah. I don't like that one very much. Don't
you think the one of us at graduation is better?"
"No," she choked, "I like this one. Things were simple then. This was..."
"Before Angel turned, yeah." Xander had an edge in his voice, but he smiled
sympathetically. "It's the only one I've drawn before the night of... Well,
the night of Acathla. I didn't mean to upset you."
She hugged the pad to her chest. "It didn't... Not really. I think it's
beautiful. Xander, the day we took that picture... One of the best times in
my life. After that, everything was different. Xander?"
He waited silently, and she looked up at him. Her eyes were pleading, but he
didn't know what she was asking him for. Buffy didn't know either, but she
knew that it was important, more important than it ever had been before. She
just needed Xander to... She just needed him to...
He stood up and took her cup, glancing at the clock again. "I'm really
starting to worry about Willow," he muttered. "Are you still Slaying?"
Buffy's silent question dissipated into the air. She smiled, and glanced
down at herself. "As much as I can, which is still pretty decent. In a
couple of more months, though, I won't be able to do anything but sit on my
ass and wait for him to be born."
"Much like me, when Willow was pregnant," Xander grinned.
Buffy laughed quietly, and then stood. She picked up her purse. "I need to
go. Get checked into the hotel, you know. And then I'm going to take a pass
around the city for any unruly demon-y things. But I'll be back tomorrow,
okay? Tell... Tell Willow that I'm at the Lodge if she wants to call."
Xander stood, walking her to his door. He gave her a hug. "Will do. And,
Buffy?"
She had started walking away, but she stopped at his voice and turned.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks for coming. I'm glad you're here." He smiled again. "I'm sure
Willow will be too."
Buffy nodded, not wanting to leave, but realizing that it was getting late
and she had to. She touched his hand, then squeezed it as she was walking
down the hall, and felt his eyes on her until she turned the corner that led
to the door. Xander watched her with a light in his eyes until she was out
of sight, and then walked to the phone.
He rang the doorman. "Yes, hello. That girl, who just came. Let her in
anytime she shows up. She's a close friend of ours, from high school."
The doorman sighed over the phone. "Whatever you say."