He was buzzed.
He was angry.
And he had a gun.
JR Chandler knelt outside the house he'd grown up in, the house he'd lost because of his so-called "alcoholism."
He looked into a party for which… well… wasn't on the guest list.
But, you know, when everyone in a town is against you… you probablyaren't going to be invited to their big party.
His heart pounded in his ears.
Thud thud… thud thud… thud thud…He thought back to that stupid play that his mother too him to back when he was a kid, WestSideStory.
There was that one song… but he didn't remember what it was called… yet he remembered that one line.
A boy who kills cannot love / A boy who kills has no heart.
But he did have a heart.
And Marissa had broken it.
And so had his father.
And so had… Babe. But he didn't want to think about that.
He just wanted to get this one shot right.
Because he only had one shot.
Then… he heard a familiarly sweet voice in his head.
"You're not a killer, JR."
Babe.
"You're a good man."
"No…" He mumbled, trying to make Babe go away… almost ready to plead.
"You're not a killer, JR."
"Yes… I am."
But he wasn't so convinced about it himself.
"Please, leave me alone."
"You're not a killer, JR."
"STOP!"
He was yelling in his head, but he felt a tear run down his face.
His hands were shaking.
"JR, there's people you love in that room."
"No," he thought. "There are people that I loved in that room. LOVED."
His palms were sweaty.
So sweaty that the gun almost fell out of his hand.
But, we can't let that happen, now can we?
His hands kept shaking.
The adrenaline pumped through his vein.
His heart was racing… faster every second.
Thud thud… thud thud… thud thud…And it wasn't slowing up… not for one second.
Thud thud… thud thud… thud thud…"You're not a killer."
But it wasn't Babe's voice this time.
It was his son's.
Little AJ Chandler…
Telling his father that he could turn his life around.
"I'm sorry, buddy…" He thought. "But, I have to do this."
"No, you don't."
Babe again.
"Shut up." He muttered.
"You're a good man."
"You're not a killer."
"You're not a killer."
"You're not a killer."
SHUT UP!
He wanted to scream it, but it was caught in the back of his throat.
His alcohol wreaking breathe heavy.
His cold, unforgiving hands shaking in fear.
Shaking in fear…
But, no, he wasn't scared.
…
But, he was afraid.
Very, very afraid.
But he had to do it.
He just had to.
He had to get his revenge…
Revenge on all those people who wronged him.
Broke him.
Stole his life…
Just to make theirs better.
He had to do it.
He just had to.
His finger was on the trigger.
The trigger that would make his life a hell of a lot better than it already was…
At least, that's what he thought.
There was a voice inside him that sounded like his father's.
"You want to, JR."
Adam's voice almost hissed in his head.
He wanted to.
He wanted to make it all go away.
Make all of them go away.
The alcohol raced through his system.
He raised his gun.
His hand shook.
But his finger was steady.
He had to do it.
He just had to.
He was there…
So close.
It was time.
He wanted to set himself free…
And that's exactly what he was going to do.
So he pulled the trigger.
And the shot rang out… in his ears, in the room.
And that line rang in his ears too.
A boy who kills cannot love / A boy who kills has no heart.
But he did have a heart.
And it had been ripped out of his chest.
Hi everybody. Well, there are few characters I know how to write for when it comes to All My Children. And I'm not sure JR is one of them. So, I wrote this to try it out. So, I ask for reviews PLEASE! And, please, no flame. Only constructive criticism if anything. Thanks.
-Emma :)