Disclaimer: this story is a parody of anime cliches, bad spelling, wapanese and other nonsense. if this story offends you in any way, i am not responsible. Read at own risk.
Today was gonna be a sugoi day. today was the day senpai would notice me today. i got her favourite thing, red felt. i wrapped it up with a crimson bow and oakflesh. there was a tag that read "From orangesaft-kohai" Just as i was placing it on her desk, i heard a pterodactyl noise and a mathematical sob coming from the hallway. i was investigate. i saw my senpai, Ingebord face down on the ground in some red liquid. she got up and said "mmm!" It was lingonberry jam. I inquired what had happened. i didn't hear what she said. i was in shock that senpai noticed me today. Its not like i like her or anything b-baka. aware of my negligence, senpai ran it by me again.
"Chad the Lugan epididymus came out of nowhere and started fucking the vending machine and started sobbing because their love was forbidden."
"then why were you face down in lingonberry jam?" i Inquired.
"thats my buisness you little shit" senpai said. senpai is so saucy~ w we went back to her class room and she noticed the present on the desk. she was investigate. it had a tag that read "From orangesaft-Kohai" she opened it and pulled out the contents with great vigor. the red felt i had packed for her with great care.
"OMG Orangesaft-kun, this is great gift!" she exclaired. and then, i shit you not, my kawaii sempai kissed me on my lipps. then i emitted sticky white fluid from the tip of my dipstick. I am so fucking glad sempai didnt notice that. senpai is pretty pretty oblivious though. I mean, it took her THIS long to notice me.
"you know, you can call me inge :)" she said with an emoticon.
"You can call me Orange for short" i responded.
"this is like the best gift ever" she said clutching the felt. Just then, chad burst through the window and lunged at Inge. (no not sempai T_T)
"cirbaf eht em evig!" chad ejaculated.
What? Inge and i said confused in unison.
"Oh i am appologize. me let re say it. Give me the fabric!" Chad sounded.
"no" sempai and i procured in unison.
He exclaim-ed "I NEED THE FABRIC TO TRANSMUTE was upset by this. he wasn't sure how we could keep speaking in unison. this also upset him because he knew we were in love. an unforbidden love. on which he wished to have with his vending-machine Chan. i knew he was thinking about dirty things because he blushed and his mother's spaghetti came out of his pockets which doesn't make sense cuz he's and epididymus that doesnt where clothes and also would have no need for spaghetti.
Senpai and i said in unison. "what for in meaning to be "transmutation"?"
"i need to make an exception in the laws of forbidden love for vending machine chan and i so it is un-forbidden."
"you know i can get you a peice of red felt from the store. i kinda made that one by hand for Inge-chan" i said
he said no, stole the fabric and ran away. this war meant.