The Vacation From Hell Chapter 1

A/N: Hello everyone! I was really bored today (not to mention in a bad mood) So I decided to write a little fluffy humor to make myself feel better ^^ (BTW: Jonathan and Jervis are together as a couple in this fic, just so you know) I promise I'll update Wasted breath and the final chapter of Nothing to fear (Gasp! Did I say that out loud? YES! Chapter fourteen is in fact the last chapter and I'm still debating over putting in an epilogue or not so keep your eyes out for it) Soon. Happy reading!!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters…I just wish I did…

"Oh god, how did you con me into this, Jervis?" Jonathan grumbled, dragging his suitcase behind him.

"Oh hush; you need this vacation as much as I do, so stop complaining."

Jonathan just grumbled under his breath and followed the smaller man into the Airport's terminal.

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"So… where are we going again?" Jonathan asked, gazing up at the flight information board.

"Cuba." Jervis replied, "I hear it's simply frabjoyous this time of the year!" Jonathan raised an eyebrow but kept his comments to himself.

"Wait… Why does it say 'delayed' beside our plane number?"

Jervis frowned.

"That must be a mistake." He said. "I'll go ask the gate attendant."

X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.

The gate attendant was a plump woman of about twenty five, too busy talking on her cell phone to even notice the two men walk up to the counter.

"Oh I know, Becky, I was like 'Hellooooo?" She shook her head, still oblivious to the men's presences.

"Um…Miss?" Jervis said. The attendant raised her index finger in the universal symbol of 'one minute'.

"Yeah…Yeah, Err…Not really…" She continued, "I know, but isn't he just sooo hot?"

Jonathan scowled,

"Stupid snot-nosed brat…" He mumbled, reaching for the tiny canister of fear toxin in the pocket of his jeans.

"Easy…" Jervis murmured, grabbing Jonathan's arm.

"Excuse me, I…" Jervis started. The young woman sighed loudly and rolled her eyes.

"Ugh. Sorry Becky, I gotta go." She closed the phone with a practiced flick of the wrist.

"What?" Her voice was void of any real human emotion; she didn't even fake a smile.

"Er…Yes… My friend and I were wondering when flight 1121 was going to arrive…" He said. The girl glanced over at the computer screen beside her.

"Flight's been delayed." She said. Both men frowned.

"Well, when's it going to get here?" Jonathan asked impatiently. The girl rolled her eyes again and pounded on a few keys on the computer's keyboard.

"Three hours." She replied, not bothering to add an 'I'm sorry you have to wait' or anything.

Grumbling, both men sat down in the terminals uncomfortable chairs.

"So…what do we do for the next three hours?" Jonathan asked, Jervis simply shrugged.

"Do you have anything to read?"

Jonathan smiled and opened his carry on bag, pulling out a very large stack of books. Jervis looked at each of the books titles and sighed.

The psychology of fear, Fear and its power over the mind, Fear as a weapon, The different types of fear, Psychology weekly, Human phobias: How they control us, ect.

Jervis sighed again.

"Is this really all you have with you?" He asked. Jonathan nodded, placing the books back into his bag.

"Well if you don't like my choice of reading material, why don't you just read what you brought?" He said. Jervis gave him a confused look.

"I brought something?" He said, looking through his bags. Jonathan sighed.

"It's under your hat."

Jervis furrowed his eyebrows, lifting his hat and grabbing the book hiding under it.

"Hm. So that's where I've been keeping my copy of Alice…" He mumbled, hugging the book to his chest. Jonathan just sighed and looked over to his left.

Close by was a girl of about eight or nine, clinging to her mother's arm.

"Mommy," She whined, "I don't wanna go on the plane!!" She lowered her voice slightly, "I'm scared…"

Jonathan's face broke out into a sadistic grin.

"Oh, this'll be fun…" He mumbled to himself. Jervis looked up from his book.

"Hm?"

"Oh, nothing…Nothing at all…"

X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.

Three hours later, Jonathan and Jervis were getting ready to get on their plane.

Just because apparently God hates eight year old girls, the young child had to sit beside both men for the whole six hour flight. Her mother had been placed two rows down, far away enough that she couldn't hear their conversations.

"Hey, mister…" She said, poking Jonathan on the arm.

"What?" The girl shrunk back from the tone of his voice, but continued.

"C-could I sit by the window?" She asked.

"Oh, by all means." Jonathan said, "It's got a wonderful view of the engine, so if it was to ever spontaneously combust, you'd be the first to know." He then gave her a smile so sweet it almost gave her a stomach ache.

"W-w-what's 'combust' mean?" She said nervously, staring out of her window and at the engine.

"It means if it was to light on fire for no reason." Jervis said casually, placing his bags in the overhead compartment. The little girl paled slightly and glanced back and forth between the two of them, trying to decide if they were lying or not. They weren't.

"Oh but don't worry about spontaneous combustion." Jonathan said, "There are so many more things to be afraid of than just that."

"Like the wings collapsing." Jervis said,

"Or a lightning bolt hitting." Said Jonathan, obviously enjoying tormenting the poor girl.

"Or Hijacking." Jervis continued, smiling.

"Oh yes," Jonathan agreed, "You really need to watch out for Hijackers."

The poor little girl now resembled a sheet. She slowly sank down into her seat, pulling the blinds down over the window.

Both men looked at each other, barely keeping in their laughter.

X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.

About five and a half hours had elapsed since their plane took off, and both of the men were staring to get a little restless. The little girl had fallen asleep twenty minutes before so they had no one to frighten anymore. Jervis sighed.

"I'm bored." He said. Jonathan looked over at him; he had that look in his eyes that made Jervis shift uncomfortably in his seat.

"Well…" He said, his tone slightly huskier than normal, "I could think of a few things we could do…" As he said this, he trailed the tips of his fingers over Jervis' leg, making him shiver.

"W-we can't do that!" He whispered nervously, "There are people around us! T-there's a little girl sleeping a few inched away!"

"So?" He said, brushing his lips lightly over the smaller mans. "She's asleep, and so are the people around us…" He smirked against his lips, "What could happen?" Jervis blushed and cast his eyes down.

"Well…nothing…I suppose…" He said.

"That's more like it…" Jonathan said, capturing Jervis' lips.

X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.x.X.

Jervis' eyes shot open. He looked around him. Jonathan, along with almost half the plane was staring at him.

"What?" He said, his voice slightly broken from sleep. Jonathan's cheeks tinged red slightly.

"You were…" He paused, "Err… you were talking in your sleep again…" He hid his face under his hair, trying to avoid the curious and slightly sickened looks of the other people.

"Really?" Jervis asked, rubbing his eyes. "What was I saying?"

Jonathan's face flushed.

"Things that shouldn't be repeated…" He paused again, looking for the right term. "…Outside the bedroom…"

Jervis' eyes widened.

"Oh. Oh…" He blushed, "How loud was I?"

"Half the plane heard you."

"Ah. Um…" He paused, looking over to his left. The young girl looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Erm… I'm terribly sorry you had to listen to that…" He mumbled, turning beet red. The little girl just smiled brightly.

"That's okay mister, I hear it almost every night from my parent's room."

"Oh god…" Jervis mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Cheer up." Jonathan said, "We're here."

Almost as if on a cue, the Pilot buzzed onto the intercom.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we'll be landing in Cuba in about five minutes, please fasten your seatbelts."

Jervis sighed, burying himself in his book. Suddenly, the little girl looked over.

"Alice in Wonderland?" She asked, "Isn't that for kids?" Jonathan smirked, sensing a war in progress. Jervis' eye twitched slightly.

"What was that?"

"I said: isn't that for kids?" She said, stressing every word as if talking to a confused two year old. Jervis closed the book with a sigh.

"No." he said slowly, trying to control his temper. "It's a fine piece of literature that has no real age limit."

The little girl laughed.

"Well, I think it's for little kids." She paused, as if in deep thought. "It was a dumb book anyway."

Jervis laughed slowly, it was the laugh of a man who was just about to throttle a little girl half to death.

"Why you blastedgodforsakenlittlebrat!" He growled, lunging after her. Moments before he would have shattered her windpipe, Jonathan grasped his arm, pulling him back. His back collided with his chest and Jonathan leaned down towards Jervis' ear.

"Not in public." He whispered, causing shivers to run up the smaller man's spine. "Wait till she's alone, alright?" Jervis nodded feebly, glaring daggers at the little girl, who was now curled up into a ball in her seat.

"Well," Jonathan sighed. "This promises to be quite an interesting vacation…"

A/N: This has to be one of the longest first chapters I've ever written for anything! I'm impressed! I really had fun with this one, and I hope you'll have as much fun reading it as I had writing it. Reviews are still wanted and needed. Thanks!!