He doesn't like it when Bella makes Lovino blush, Antonio decides. The flirting, that's ok, and for some reason doesn't really bother him. But awkward blushing is not allowed. There's something too innocent about it, something too revealing. Too...
Honest.
Honesty doesn't suit Lovino, and Antonio suddenly hates it on him. So he only sighs and gets up to leave, not bothering with one of his usual quips. Lovino startles and yells after him, demanding to know just where he's running off to in such a hurry. But he slips out the door without a word, leaving the puzzled Italian alone at his desk.
"Hey, Lovi... you look just like a-"
"Shut up, you idiot."
.
He supposes he shouldn't have been surprised when he kissed her. Should have expected, should have known, shouldn't be hurting this much. But he does.
And Arthur's gaze is furtive and angry, so much like his, but it's never the same. And he knows that they both know he's just second best, but it's fine because so is Antonio.
Their kiss is tasteless.
.
Lovino is livid when he finds it out, face spotted with rage & what must be disdain.
"Y-y-" he sputters, "You're Catholic." Antonio tenses.
"Am I?" he mutters, mostly to himself. "Yes, I suppose. Since my parents both are, then I must be too..?
Yes." He states it more firmly now, as though in revelation. "I'm Catholic. But you're actually Catholic."
Silence.
"I see."
.
They haven't seen eachother in several years, and Spain isn't sure how they ended up here. All he knows is that he's already quite drunk, and he's planning on getting more so.
"He was s'posed to be the easy way out, you know?" Spain slurs, draining his glass. "With him, I had you, and with me, he had Amelia, and that way we could never get hurt. We couldn't get hurt, they wouldn't get hurt, Lovino, and y-you, you, you, you wouldn't get hurt. You can't get hurt, Lovi, I can't let you get hurt..."
"But in the end you're still here, alone." Lovino's voice is cool and tactless, and Antonio winces lightly. He watches Lovino stare into at his glass before downing the rest in a swallow. "I'm not Catholic anymore."
A dynamic between them changes.
.
Several months pass before Antonio admits to it all, down to the very beginning.
"I almost confessed to you in high school, you know." Lovino pretends to frown at this.
"Then why didn't you, you jerk," he tosses over, punching his arm lightly. Antonio considers this, and then decides.
"Religion was your life back then. It was the only thing you always had, and you needed it. I couldn't take that away from you." Lovino chews on this thought for a bit and concludes it was probably true. But now the only thing I've always had is you. Of course, he can't actually say this aloud, so he burrows into Tonio's side instead.
"Thank you."
It's sufficient enough for the both of them.