Pairing: Ivan Braginsky x Feliks Łukasiewicz (Russia x Poland)
Summary: They never should have been together. Between the secrecy, the manipulation and the dangerous obsession, they'd never had a worse idea in their lives. They never said it was healthy, but in that moment, it was all they had.
Warnings: M rating for later chapters.
Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia or any related ideas. This is all just for fun and entertainment here.
"It's like this," Feliks explained with a patient sigh. It was damn near impossible to describe this feeling he had, but he couldn't be the only one who felt this way. He just couldn't be. "It's like …" He began again, searching for the words. How could he possibly say the confusing swirl of feelings in his head aloud when he hardly understood them himself? He didn't feel love, no, but he felt some sort of deep affection and it clashed horribly with that deep seated resentment within him.
At last, finding inspiration, he lifted his right hand. "This is Poland. It's like, its own entity." Ivan lifted his eyebrow skeptically. What sort of metaphor was this? Feliks breathed a little sigh, held up his left hand, and continued. "Just be quiet and listen," he said.
"This is Feliks. Again, a totally separate thing but …" He moved his hands together and linked his fingers. "They're like this, right? Separate, but together." He looked down at his hands. "Sometimes they want different things. Sometimes they're one and the same. They can't exist without one another." He tugged his hands as if to pull them apart, but his fingers kept them locked together. "But they're still different."
He paused briefly, emerald locking onto amethyst as he searched the other man's gaze for something showing he understood. If Ivan was following him, his face did nothing to show he agreed. In spite of the lack of reaction, Feliks continued. With his own hands still linked, he reached out and linked Ivan's right pinkie with his left - his 'Feliks' hand. "That's Ivan." He said quietly, and linked the remaining pinkie with his own on the hand he'd dubbed 'Poland'. "And this is Russia." He trailed off, waiting for it to sink in.
Ivan looked down at their linked hands, ignoring the feeling of warmth at the Pole's touch. He focused on them for a very long time before he looked up. "No matter what Feliks and Ivan do," Ivan began, his voice calm. "There is no way to leave Russia and Poland out of it …" He nodded slowly, finally understanding the strange metaphor.
"Exactly." Feliks pulled his hands away. He should have been relieved that Ivan understood, but somehow, the feeling made him all the sicker.
A/N: This was originally inspired by an amazing role play with a very good friend of mine, and by the song "One More Night" by Maroon 5.
I owe a huge thank you to my beta Savvi, and to my lovely Panda and Broski for letting me bounce ideas off of them for hours and hours before this fic began.
Thank you for reading! This is my first attempt at an actual, serious, multi-chapter fan fiction. This was short, but I promise now that the prologue is out of the way, the rest of the chapters will be much longer. I'll try to have the next chapter up soon! Please review, and thank you again!