Withering Rose
yue kato
290399
In my dreams I can see the two of us, lying in a meadow, the lush green grass a cushion for our naked bodies. Your silken hair spreads out all around you like black ripples, spilling from a glorious source of inexplicable beauty. You are looking up at the cerulean blue sky, and your brow is slightly furrowed, as if you are worried about something.
It's wrong -- you shouldn't have any cares at all in this fantasia.
Then you turn your head slightly and you see me near. A smile lights up your face, and I feel a lump in my throat that the smile is for me.
But I also see a flicker of melancholy flash in those eyes, disappearing as fast as it came.
Why?
Don't be sad.
It pains me to see you this way.
I kneel down beside you, stretching out trembling fingers to caress those gossamer strands, half-afraid that you are merely a crystallisation of my daily longings, vanishing like a mirage when I reach out.
But you do not dissolve into thin air, and I lay down gently by your head, taking care not to crush any of the blood red roses scattered around you.
You look up at me, and I drown in you gaze. I can see the melancholy and pain warring with the happiness in your eyes. I seem to know why, but I'm not letting myself think about it.
For just a few precious moments, I want to fully revel in this fantasy that you are mine and I am yours.
Nobody can, or ever will, come between us.
I place my cheek on your forehead, sensing the soothing warmth emanating from you. It flows into me and fills me up. Then I feel your hand running through me hair, a lover's caress it is, but one of apology.
For not being able to stay.
For having to go.
My hand suddenly tightens ito a fist, clutching your hair, but you do not wince or show any indication of your pain. You just continue gazing at me steadily, your hand never leaving.
A great wave of hurt washes over me, and I can feel my heart shattering into millions and millions of tiny pieces.
Why?!
Why must you go?!!
Don't leave me!!
Please?...
Silence.
But I know the answer myself.
Even in my dreams.
I shouldn't cry. It won't stop your departure, and it'll only grieve you more.
Still, I can feel a trickle of warmth running down my right cheek as I close my eyes.
Shutting out the beauty of your face, imagining for one last time we are truly together.
The gentle breeze suddenly increases in intensity and the ensuing gust of wind sweeps many of the roses high into the air. The red petals come swirling down again, back to the ground.
Just like droplets of blood raining from the remnants of a broken heart, sinking deep into the earth.
owari