"What do you mean, gone?"
Percival and Gwaine looked at each other with apprehension behind their eyes. They cast their eyes around the king's chamber, as if hoping to find help in the (messy) room. There was none coming. "Well," said Gwaine. "We mean not where he's supposed to be, per say. Currently lost."
Arthur opened his mouth.
"Actually," Gwaine cut him off, "not so much lost as misplaced. Temporarily. But we have Elyan out looking for him, and Mordred has borrowed a dog whistle from the seneschal – "
"Which is not funny, Sire," said Percival.
"Not in the least," said Gwaine, but his mouth twitched. "And is currently endeavoring to track down our favorite canine."
"Which is also not funny," added Percival.
The king glared at them. "What were my orders?"
"'Don't let Merlin escape his room, because he'll run and get in the kitchen or some sort of sinkhole and die, like the idiot he is', in your words," said Gwaine promptly.
"And what happened?" said Arthur.
"He escaped his room," said Percival. "But we really had to let him out, Sire. I know it seems ridiculous, but he honestly thinks he's a puppy, and he has separation anxiety. He was… crying."
"Crying," repeated the king.
"Whining would be more accurate," said Gwaine. "And scratching. It was the saddest thing. You know, you really shouldn't have a dog if you aren't going to pay it any attention or play with it."
"This is no time for levity, Gwaine," said Arthur. "Merlin is not a puppy, even if he thinks he is. He is a manservant."
"He licked me," said Percival. "And he bit Mordred."
"That's just the enchantment!" snapped Arthur, rubbing his nose. "Ugh. Nimueh would never have cast such an undignified spell." He sank into the chair behind his desk.
"But we don't think it will actually be all that bad," said Gwaine. "See, the way we figure it, Merlin's a puppy, right?"
"Wrong," pointed out Arthur. "But go on."
"Well, a puppy might run out, but they come back to their master, or whoever takes care of them, right?"
"True," said Arthur. "So you think he'll come find me?"
"Right," said Percival.
"But he didn't," said Arthur, standing up and looking around. "He didn't come back to his master. He's not here. Unless he's under the bed."
Just then the door opened, and in came Guinevere, dragging a panting Merlin by his hand. "He came and found me. I think you might be looking for him," guessed the queen. Merlin bounced up and down.
"Oh," said Gwaine. "Yes, actually. We were."
All three of the men in the room looked at her with unquestionable guilt in their eyes. And more than a little bit of fear. There was no movement.
Well, except for Merlin, who licked the disgusted and disgruntled queen full on the mouth and then tried to snuggle into her.
"Enchantment?" guessed Guinevere.
Gwaine, Percival, and Arthur nodded with completely straight faces.