The dumb FF7 story
If this story sounds a little stupid...that's because...it is. So don't worry about it. Unfortunately only Obsessed is a HUGE ff7 fan...Possesed knows hardly anything, as you will see.
The writing in italics was written by Possesed, non italics written by Obsessed.
Our story begins at Junon and the Shinra were waiting. Waiting for Sephiroth. Waiting for him to come, so they could kill him. Meanwhile, Rylie was walking towards that same destination along with Jaylen and Hanni. They were going there because they wanted to kill the Shinra. But the Shinra wanted to kill them too. Imagine the heroes' suprise when they see Sephiroth. He knows the Shinra are there and he knows they want to kill them. He says to them "Ha ha ha," he drew his sword, "I'm going to kill you!!!"
Rylie says "Go kill the Shinra instead!"
Sephiroth says back to them "Ok."
Suddenly Elena from the Turks appears and says "Sephiroth, I'll take you on!"
Then Reno runs on and says "I've forgotten who I am because the author doesn't know who the hell I am." (Reno is another member of the Turks. He works for the Shinra.) He suddenly remembered who he was! With all the chaos going on, Rylie, Hanni and Jaylen ran away.
Soon the 3 heroes found themselves in the Highwind (an airship) and Cloud said "OI!! This is OUR airship! Get off it NOW!!"
Hanni said back "Please let us stay, the Shinra are after us!" This was unusual because Hanni was usually quiet. Cloud replied with "F**king get lost now" he drew Ultima weapon (his ultimate weapon) a v. big sword [I'm obsessed with big swords-Obsessed]
Red XIII charges on and says "Who are the intruders?"
Jaylen steps forward and answers with "US LOT!! I'll fight you B**tards!!!
Red XIII says "You'll regret that!"
The screen goes fuzzy as it changes to a fight screen.
Yuffie comes on and says "I'll pinch your materia too!" Cloud uses Omnislash.
"Ha ha ha" Says Sephiroth as he comes on screen drawing his sword.
"Hold it right there!!!" says Elena "I'll kill you all with my summon materia!!"
"Yoink!" says Yuffie "I've got your materia now!!"
Elena replies "Dammit!"
And then Hanni says "Hey, no fair! there's 5 of you against us 3!" Rylie explained that they were all against each other. "oh." was Hanni's simple reply. "We still might lose!" she then exclaimed.
"Not if I have anything to do with it." replied Rylie. She drew her v. big sword and said "Sephiroth, you're dead!!"
Tifa ran on and said "Why don't you all have a swordfight? Go Cloud!"
Rylie, Cloud and Sephiroth all said in unison "Yeah!" and so the fighting began. Sephiroth was fighting Cloud and everyone was ignoring Rylie. She said "Hey, let me fight!".
Sephiroth replied "No, you're just a stupid little girl with some crazy death wish!" This made Rylie really mad. So she drew an even bigger sword (bigger than Cloud's...way bigger than Cloud's) and said "I'll be your angel of death ha ha ha ha ..................etc."
Sephiroth said "You can't be serious." Sephiroth still didn't believe that Rylie had much ability. Hanni and Jaylen wondered if they'd ever get a bigger part in this crazy story. Then Rylie yelled "You may be made from Jenova's cells but I'm way stronger than you!" And then in a twisted turn of events, Rylie K.Oed Sephiroth. "That was suprisingly easy." said Rylie. Hanni and the others just stood there, stunned. Then Sephiroth stood up and said "Ha ha ha I was only faking it." and Cloud got his sword and threatened to stab Sephiroth- "Yeah! Stab Sephiroth!" yelled Hanni. Everyone stared at her so she just giggled nervously and hid behind Rylie. "You prat! No-one can kill me!!!" Sephiroth yelled. "Ha ha ha!" And then Cloud stabbed him after all. He died. (cue funeral music)
"Ha ha ha! Has he got any materia??" Yuffie said.
"Yup, master thunder materia." Cloud says.
"Yay!" said Yuffie. And then Rylie quickly took it before Yuffie could. Yuffie was mad at Rylie, and Hanni noticed her obvious tension. "We should make a truce and all get along in peace because fighting is bad and wrong and-"
BANG!
Vincent shot Hanni because she was so annoying.
"HEY! You could've just told me to stop..." Hanni complained."Owwwwwww......"
"Give me that materia!" (screen goes fuzzy- Yuffie vs. Rylie) "I'll win!! I'm from Wutai and a long line of ninjas!!"
"Yeah right!" said Rylie. "And where's Wutai?" Instead of answering Yuffie attacked.
"Ha ha ha! you'll have to do better than THAT!" Yuffie yelled.
"Better than what?"
"Better than ME!!!!!" and then Yuffie summoned Bahamut Zero "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" she laughed as Bahamut Zero hit her for 9999 damage.
"Good thing Rylie's so strong." said Hanni, who was waving a little flag saying 'Go Rylie!' on it. Jaylen was doing the same. Back to the battle, Rylie had got her big sword ready but so had Cloud. But then Jaylen got his gun- and shot them all except the people on his side "BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He was happy he could shoot them, but it unfortunatly it wasn't doing as much damage as he would like. Hanni kept waving her flag. But then Vincent shot the flag down and then a big glowing wall came up and on the wall was FMV of Aeris. Hanni was crying because of her flag, but watched the FMV. "Who's that?" she asked.
"It's Aeris!!!" yelled a mystery person. It was Sephiroth. He had come up on the FMV screen.
"Ooooh! FMV...cool graphics!" said Hanni. Tears were still present on her face.
"You should be crying too, she's dead."
"Who?" Hanni asked.
"Aeris!!!!!!!!!" *Cloud starts crying* "How could you be so insensitive!" Yuffie yelled "You're so mean!"
"....but I didn't know. I'm sorry..." Hanni started crying again. Jaylen decided to be weird and started laughing. Rylie seemed mad at Jaylen. "Jaylen you b**tard!" Yuffie yelled (she had found out his name by looking at the menu.)"Laughing because someone is dead! I hate you!"
"That's not why I was laughing," he replied."It's because Sephiroth farted." Sephiroth went red.
"Hey! There's no FMV of me farting!" Sephiroth said.
"Is now." said Jaylen.
Hanni stopped crying and said "Eww....Jaylen's right. I can smell it!"
"OI!!" yelled Sephiroth "I'll fight you, you know!"
"But you're dead, Sephiroth." said Hanni. "How can you fight us?"
"Aren't we supposed to be grieving Aeris?" Rylie cut in.
"Aeris............." muttered Cloud.
"Who thinks we should kick Jaylen out?" asked Yuffie.
"I do!" said Red XIII.
"We should kick Hanni out too."said Vincent.
"Yeah, she's dead annoying." said Yuffie.
"No, I'm not!" Hanni replied. "Anyway, how can you kick us out? If I remember correctly you wanted all of us out anyway. You all challenged us."
"Yeah what happened to our fight?" asked Rylie.
Jaylen just said "I don't wanna be kicked out..."
"Tough S**t, your fault for being insensitive." said Yuffie.
"But it was funny!" said Jaylen. Hanni considered crying again, but thought she'd better not.
"Come on...fight!" said Rylie. The screen went familiarly fuzzy.
"Hey we never said we wanted to fight-plus it's our ship." Yuffie said, in a fight stance. Cloud moved to flank her. So did Red XIII. Hanni and Jaylen appeared at Rylie's side, Rylie could attack first.
"Stop it!" the Aeris FMV said. Then all the FMV disappeared.
"Where'd she go?" asked Hanni.
"She's gone................"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another chapter if there is at least one review!
If this story sounds a little stupid...that's because...it is. So don't worry about it. Unfortunately only Obsessed is a HUGE ff7 fan...Possesed knows hardly anything, as you will see.
The writing in italics was written by Possesed, non italics written by Obsessed.
Our story begins at Junon and the Shinra were waiting. Waiting for Sephiroth. Waiting for him to come, so they could kill him. Meanwhile, Rylie was walking towards that same destination along with Jaylen and Hanni. They were going there because they wanted to kill the Shinra. But the Shinra wanted to kill them too. Imagine the heroes' suprise when they see Sephiroth. He knows the Shinra are there and he knows they want to kill them. He says to them "Ha ha ha," he drew his sword, "I'm going to kill you!!!"
Rylie says "Go kill the Shinra instead!"
Sephiroth says back to them "Ok."
Suddenly Elena from the Turks appears and says "Sephiroth, I'll take you on!"
Then Reno runs on and says "I've forgotten who I am because the author doesn't know who the hell I am." (Reno is another member of the Turks. He works for the Shinra.) He suddenly remembered who he was! With all the chaos going on, Rylie, Hanni and Jaylen ran away.
Soon the 3 heroes found themselves in the Highwind (an airship) and Cloud said "OI!! This is OUR airship! Get off it NOW!!"
Hanni said back "Please let us stay, the Shinra are after us!" This was unusual because Hanni was usually quiet. Cloud replied with "F**king get lost now" he drew Ultima weapon (his ultimate weapon) a v. big sword [I'm obsessed with big swords-Obsessed]
Red XIII charges on and says "Who are the intruders?"
Jaylen steps forward and answers with "US LOT!! I'll fight you B**tards!!!
Red XIII says "You'll regret that!"
The screen goes fuzzy as it changes to a fight screen.
Yuffie comes on and says "I'll pinch your materia too!" Cloud uses Omnislash.
"Ha ha ha" Says Sephiroth as he comes on screen drawing his sword.
"Hold it right there!!!" says Elena "I'll kill you all with my summon materia!!"
"Yoink!" says Yuffie "I've got your materia now!!"
Elena replies "Dammit!"
And then Hanni says "Hey, no fair! there's 5 of you against us 3!" Rylie explained that they were all against each other. "oh." was Hanni's simple reply. "We still might lose!" she then exclaimed.
"Not if I have anything to do with it." replied Rylie. She drew her v. big sword and said "Sephiroth, you're dead!!"
Tifa ran on and said "Why don't you all have a swordfight? Go Cloud!"
Rylie, Cloud and Sephiroth all said in unison "Yeah!" and so the fighting began. Sephiroth was fighting Cloud and everyone was ignoring Rylie. She said "Hey, let me fight!".
Sephiroth replied "No, you're just a stupid little girl with some crazy death wish!" This made Rylie really mad. So she drew an even bigger sword (bigger than Cloud's...way bigger than Cloud's) and said "I'll be your angel of death ha ha ha ha ..................etc."
Sephiroth said "You can't be serious." Sephiroth still didn't believe that Rylie had much ability. Hanni and Jaylen wondered if they'd ever get a bigger part in this crazy story. Then Rylie yelled "You may be made from Jenova's cells but I'm way stronger than you!" And then in a twisted turn of events, Rylie K.Oed Sephiroth. "That was suprisingly easy." said Rylie. Hanni and the others just stood there, stunned. Then Sephiroth stood up and said "Ha ha ha I was only faking it." and Cloud got his sword and threatened to stab Sephiroth- "Yeah! Stab Sephiroth!" yelled Hanni. Everyone stared at her so she just giggled nervously and hid behind Rylie. "You prat! No-one can kill me!!!" Sephiroth yelled. "Ha ha ha!" And then Cloud stabbed him after all. He died. (cue funeral music)
"Ha ha ha! Has he got any materia??" Yuffie said.
"Yup, master thunder materia." Cloud says.
"Yay!" said Yuffie. And then Rylie quickly took it before Yuffie could. Yuffie was mad at Rylie, and Hanni noticed her obvious tension. "We should make a truce and all get along in peace because fighting is bad and wrong and-"
BANG!
Vincent shot Hanni because she was so annoying.
"HEY! You could've just told me to stop..." Hanni complained."Owwwwwww......"
"Give me that materia!" (screen goes fuzzy- Yuffie vs. Rylie) "I'll win!! I'm from Wutai and a long line of ninjas!!"
"Yeah right!" said Rylie. "And where's Wutai?" Instead of answering Yuffie attacked.
"Ha ha ha! you'll have to do better than THAT!" Yuffie yelled.
"Better than what?"
"Better than ME!!!!!" and then Yuffie summoned Bahamut Zero "Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!" she laughed as Bahamut Zero hit her for 9999 damage.
"Good thing Rylie's so strong." said Hanni, who was waving a little flag saying 'Go Rylie!' on it. Jaylen was doing the same. Back to the battle, Rylie had got her big sword ready but so had Cloud. But then Jaylen got his gun- and shot them all except the people on his side "BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He was happy he could shoot them, but it unfortunatly it wasn't doing as much damage as he would like. Hanni kept waving her flag. But then Vincent shot the flag down and then a big glowing wall came up and on the wall was FMV of Aeris. Hanni was crying because of her flag, but watched the FMV. "Who's that?" she asked.
"It's Aeris!!!" yelled a mystery person. It was Sephiroth. He had come up on the FMV screen.
"Ooooh! FMV...cool graphics!" said Hanni. Tears were still present on her face.
"You should be crying too, she's dead."
"Who?" Hanni asked.
"Aeris!!!!!!!!!" *Cloud starts crying* "How could you be so insensitive!" Yuffie yelled "You're so mean!"
"....but I didn't know. I'm sorry..." Hanni started crying again. Jaylen decided to be weird and started laughing. Rylie seemed mad at Jaylen. "Jaylen you b**tard!" Yuffie yelled (she had found out his name by looking at the menu.)"Laughing because someone is dead! I hate you!"
"That's not why I was laughing," he replied."It's because Sephiroth farted." Sephiroth went red.
"Hey! There's no FMV of me farting!" Sephiroth said.
"Is now." said Jaylen.
Hanni stopped crying and said "Eww....Jaylen's right. I can smell it!"
"OI!!" yelled Sephiroth "I'll fight you, you know!"
"But you're dead, Sephiroth." said Hanni. "How can you fight us?"
"Aren't we supposed to be grieving Aeris?" Rylie cut in.
"Aeris............." muttered Cloud.
"Who thinks we should kick Jaylen out?" asked Yuffie.
"I do!" said Red XIII.
"We should kick Hanni out too."said Vincent.
"Yeah, she's dead annoying." said Yuffie.
"No, I'm not!" Hanni replied. "Anyway, how can you kick us out? If I remember correctly you wanted all of us out anyway. You all challenged us."
"Yeah what happened to our fight?" asked Rylie.
Jaylen just said "I don't wanna be kicked out..."
"Tough S**t, your fault for being insensitive." said Yuffie.
"But it was funny!" said Jaylen. Hanni considered crying again, but thought she'd better not.
"Come on...fight!" said Rylie. The screen went familiarly fuzzy.
"Hey we never said we wanted to fight-plus it's our ship." Yuffie said, in a fight stance. Cloud moved to flank her. So did Red XIII. Hanni and Jaylen appeared at Rylie's side, Rylie could attack first.
"Stop it!" the Aeris FMV said. Then all the FMV disappeared.
"Where'd she go?" asked Hanni.
"She's gone................"
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Another chapter if there is at least one review!
