Loving you
Sitting here by the window,
I'm looking out the door
Through the glass screen
Searching for a speck of black among the snow
The one I'm looking for
Is you
You with the blonde hair
That defies gravity
You wearing those sunglasses
You who only wears leather
You who never speaks
You who moves like the dead
I am searching for
The hum of your motorcycle
Lovingly named after
The norse god of destruction
To me
Fenrir's hum is a welcome sound
It is like the chimes of church bells
Announcing the arrival of the bride
Except in this case it's you bringing in
The weather and your heart
All broken and torn up
By things you shouldn't have had to go through
Burdens you shouldn't have to carry
I'm waiting here on the couch
A cup of warm cocoa in my hands
And I am feeling guilty for yelling at you last night
For not coming home and
Not being there for me
I am sorry for scaring you away
Sorry for messing up your bed in revenge
Sorry for attempting to write a hate note
I've thrown it away
It's in the waste basket now
All crumpled up and stabbed at with red ink
Bleeding
Like my heart…just
Like yours…long
It's strange
Even when you're not here
I am still loving you
Cloud?
Will you come home tonight?
Please?
She is woken up hours later by a shape of a person, so coated in snow and ice… it doesn't look human.
But she knows who it is… she can guess.
She puts her cup of cocoa down and goes to him. She reaches her hand out for his gloved one and is startled when he flinches away.
She accepts the gesture quietly but can't help showing her disappointment. She turns away with slumped shoulders and walks back to her cup of cocoa. Perhaps what she did this time was unforgivable, even by his child-standards.
She doesn't notice his alarm at her reaction. She doesn't see him hurriedly remove his layer of outer clothing and try his best to smooth down his spiky hair which has frozen in the ice and snow. If she'd seen it, she probably would have laughed. She doesn't see him rush over.
She only just notices when she feels something like a block of ice slam into her from behind and something cold press into the nape of her neck. She can't help shivering as she turns around to look at him.
She finds herself staring into lightning blue eyes that search for acceptance and aquamarine orbs that are tottering on a cliff of doubt. And she knows he's hugging her for a lifeline.
She can't help smiling as her hands automatically reach out to rub his arms. He forgives her. And she is thankful for that. He's grinning at her, and his teeth are chattering.
"Oh, Cloud… how many times do I have to tell you to wear proper clothing during the winter?"
He just shakes his head as he buries his face into her neck sending a silent and stubborn reply that he is just fine as he is. She gasps quietly as his frozen hair brushes against her face.
"Cloud? The bathroom. Now."
He just shakes his head again.
When she pulls away from him, he's wearing a sort of cross between a pout and a puppy-dog face. The minute she narrows her eyes, he's off…tail between his legs.
The steam from the bathroom and the smell of his trademark soap with its fragrant scent of pine announces his reappearance as she waits for him on his bed. She is already in her pyjamas, her hair is splayed all over his pillow and she is lying there staring at the ceiling, trying to find the crack that looks like a chocobo.
She hears the quiet swish as he hangs up his towel and the silent padding of his feet towards her. She's playing a game with herself, trying her own patience and trying her best to not look at him. She's giving him the first move. Handing it to him on a silver platter.
Where's that dumb chocobo already?
She feels the bed sink beside her and she knows he's there. Seconds later, she feels a tickling sensation.
Of course… it was so typical of Cloud… he had headed straight for her neck. She can't help but smile and reach up a hand to stroke him. He's adorable that way…
He closes his eyes in rapt response, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her closer to him. Even when they are alone together, he still is very protective of her. He still wants her to know-even though it's at her fingertips- that he loves her… so very much.
"Cloud?"
She is greeted by mako powered blue eyes as he immediately sits up, his eyes questioning her with the intense concentration of a soldier, set to do battle.
"Say something."
He smiles and comes crashing gracefully back down, in perfect control of his body. He lands beside her, hands reaching out to pull her close. He nimbly slides his mouth near her ear, kissing her cheek before whispering something.
It's something she's been longing to hear.
And it's something he's been meaning to say but couldn't quite get the words out.
"I'm home."