Dying hurt, he had never realized how true that statement was until now. The drugs did take the edge of it but the anxiety was still there, and that hurt. Even if he knew exactly what awaited him after death, heck Rukia and Renji were keeping him company, even if they both had to be in gigais. Rukia was holding his hand at the moment, her purple eyes filled with unshed tears, even if she was trying to make jokes to make the youth laugh, all he managed was a smile every and then. He had missed them, during the years when he was unable to see them, the years when Orihime, Chad and Uryu had been the ones taking down hollows and the kind and Ichigo had been studying and living. Not that that had changed, Ichigo still lacked his Shinigami powers; he still was unable to call out to Zangetsu-ossan. He remembered that afternoon when he had passed out on his way home from school, he had thought it was simple exhaustion combined with a slight fever, Isshin too had disregarded it too fever.

It had been several weeks after when he had started throwing up blood, he had lost consciousness on the bathroom floor and woken up on Ishidas fathers hospital, the look on his father's face said it all. Isshin had looked as destroyed as he had been after Masaki's death, and Ichigo had known that it was bad.

The scans they had taken when he had entered the ER showed that he had cancerous cells in his esophagus and another cluster in his liver. Due to the fact that the cancer already had metastases and was very malignant made his survival rate drop. Even though it was treated very aggressively with both chemotherapy and radiation followed by surgery it spread further. Ichigo lost his hair and so much weight he didn't have energy to even walk. After a year of unsuccessful treatments Ichigo said no. Yuzu had been crying and Karin was furious at him, claiming that he gave up too soon; Isshin had stopped her, hugged all of his children and cried with them.

Ichigo was in the hospice now, a central line giving him comfort in the form of morphine, and a nasal cannula since he had such hard time breathing. It wasn't until then his friends from Soul Society had started to drop by in gigais', Ichigo understood that Uruhara or Yourichi had told them about his state. Even Kenpachi dropped by with his exuberant Yachiru, making Ichigo smile and laugh since the large battle-crazy promised him fights when he came to Seireitei.

Toshiro and Rangiku came second, Toshiro didn't even yap about Ichigo calling by his given name and not his title. Rangiku on the other hand tried to make him blush with her girls, partly successful; she happily gave the hairless youth a kiss, making his pale feature darken even more.

Ikkaku had congratulated Ichigo on joining the bald and beautiful club, whilst Yumichika had looked sad and whispered about ruined beauty.

When Renji and Rukia came in Ichigo felt complete, he had hugged the petite shinigami woman tightly.

"I've missed you Rukia," he had admitted in a low voice, making his friend blush as she pulled away, she had nearly burst into tears as she looked closer at his deteriorating body.

"Ichigo…"

"It's alright Rukia…" Ichigo said, his voice still low and a little gasping, "I want it to end."

"You look like crap, Ichigo," Renji said as he pulled up a chair and sat down on it backwards, leaning forward into the back.

"I hope I will go back to my old self after I die, so I can kick your ass," this was said with a hint if that huge grin Ichigo had when he was about to battle a great opponent. It made the threesome laugh.

Ichigo slipped into a morphine induced haze, only waking for a few minutes a time, and always in great pain, the agony combined with the angst made tears spill from the otherwise so brave youth. His family and friends tried to comfort him but to little success.

Waiting for the end was horrid, mostly for those sitting around the bed, the room was filled now, Yuzu, Karin and Isshin of course, but also Uruhara, Yourichi, Tessai and the special powered humans, Tatsuki, Keigo, Mizuiro, Ishida, Inoue and Chad and Renji and most importantly Rukia. The other Shinigami where waiting on different spots in Rukongai, hoping to be able to find Ichigo when the konso had been performed.

Ichigo opened his eyes, feeling lighter and less tired than he had been in months. He sat up looking at the severed chain on his chest, he apprehensively felt his head, only to find that he had no hair. His face fell and the usual scowl adorned his face, the action made the spiritual aware audience to laugh and Ichigo started to laugh with them. He was stronger again, but he had no shikashoushu which made him wonder if he would regain his shinigami powers, Rukia leaned over and tenderly touched his face.

"Are you ready," she asked as she took a soul candy and exited her gigai, she pulled Sode no Shirayuki from the sheath and looked at Ichigo.

"Dad, Karin, Yuzu, I love you," Ichigo looked around in his extended family. "I'm ready Rukia," he said as he closed his eyes as the hilt hit his forehead gently and the sounds of the world faded away.