Pi Day
Author's notes:
I swear this is not shameless promotion for my webcomic. If anything, my webcomic is shameless promotion for my fanfics. That said, this was going to be a strip, but I couldn't get it to fit in 4 panels and didn't want to another arc a la Chicken Willow. So, a fanfic and a some crappy fanart (which is more than I've ever done for any other holiday, let alone a fake one). Hooray for Pi day!
- In Honor of Einstein (who has absolutely nothing to do with pi or pie. Just happened to be born on this day) -
There was a murmur of confusion as Horace Slughorn walked into the classroom. Club president and anger management course dropout, Vanessa Raleigh immediately stepped up with a strained smile.
"Good afternoon, Professor. Um... Where is Professor Snape?"
But Slughorn seemed too preoccupied with the table lined from end to end with pies to answer, let alone hear her. There were just so many pies! He dabbed his forehead with his very expensive handkerchief, which was given to him by a former student who was now very rich and well connected. Just so many pies! Why, there must have been a pie of every flavor!
"Um, sir?" Vanessa threw back a look of exasperated to her fellow club members. "Should I throw something at him, perhaps?" There was a round of collective shrugs and "Eh"s.
"Wait!" Willow Moon, the club's vice president and quite possibly an escaped mental patient, jumped forward, her wand out. With a jab, she sent a shock of static electricity through his mustache. Just enough to break him out of his reverie... and make him yelp in pain.
Horace Slughorn rubbed his mustache that was smoking lightly. He looked up to see all the students staring at him, expectantly. "Oh. Yes. Professor Snape has taken ill." Vanessa raised an eyebrow. "And has asked me to fill in for him as to not disappoint you children." There were several exchanges of dubious glances. "So," Slughorn rubbed his hands together. "How does this whole pie day thing work?"
"Well, since Professor Snape is "sick", I suppose it's all right", Vanessa said with air quotes and everything.
"We already have several pi related party games set up," the president motioned towards a table full of handmade board games. "There's also the circle drawing contest, as this is art club. And usually at some point in the night we have a competition to see who has recite the most of the number pi."
"Oh." Slughorn stroked his chin in an attempt to appear casual. "What about... the pies, dear? What are they for?"
"The pies? Well, mostly we eat them."
"Is there a set time for pie consumption?"
"Oh, no. It's a 'serve yourself as you will' sort of thing."
"So, you don't mind if I go ahead and help myself to a slice or two?"
She motioned to the table. "Go for it."
Horace Slughorn leaned about his chair with his feet propped up on the table and pat his overstuffed belly. He let out a sigh of great content and glanced over at the table where there remained quite a few pies. He wondered if he would could take a couple with him when it was all over. The day had been such cake, it almost ridiculous how Severus was always complaining of the club's antics. They just sat quietly, eating their pie, playing their silly little math games, and drawing their cute little pictures.
"Ooh, I don't think I could eat another bite even if I wanted to."
"Did you know if you eat too much you could die?"
"Really?"
"Yeah. Your stomach over expands and bursts. Then, its acids melt your organs."
"Ew. Gross. Really?"
"It's all true. I swear."
"Woah. You could kill someone by making them eat until they explode!"
"Please. Let's not talk about exploding. Oof. Too much pie."
"There's still so much left. Look." They all cast a sidelong glance at the table still covered with pies.
Xavier, who is so far mostly known for being really tall, reached over and picked up a half eaten cherry pie and in a fit of what must have been pie-induced madness, shouted, "Hey, Will! Heads up!" And he hurdled the pie at the club vice president. Ever quick on her feet, she ducked just in time, only to have it, as pie fights must, smash into the back of Vanessa's head instead.
Enraged, she whirled around and in one swish of her wand, sent three pies falling towards her offender. Only one of which actually hit the intended target. The others smacked into those guys who always just happen to be in the background. And, of course, then it was on.
Professor Slughorn could only stand there, mouth agape, watching in abject horror as pies were wasted and insanity ensued. He just muttered, "Never again" over and over as pie debris dripped off his face.
Happy Pi Day!