Chibi-Kari: Well, I wanted to see this story played out...and so I wrote it myself. This will be a three shot I think. Next chapter will be Jesse/Rachel interaction. I hope you guys enjoy because I don't own anything and your words of encouragement are the only things that keep me writing!

Twelve Years

It had been twelve years. Twelve years and Shelby finally fell victim to the regret that seemed all consuming at times. Beth was getting older and Shelby first started to feel the distance last year. That was when the feelings started to make sense. One of her friends from Beth's daycare years told her that teenagers brought this distance with their parents. It came from a time when kids went off on their own at age 14. The kids would start spreading their wings and the parents had to let them fly, but it was during that time when they needed their parents the most. Beth was already starting to find her independence. She spent time with her friends at the mall. She had opinions about everything. And Shelby could see the teenager rearing its ugly head. And she knew she would be taking a slightly different role in her daughter's life. The role of a role model and confidant. An advice giver, but not a controller. A role she should have taken with Rachel.

It seemed that almost every day now she thought of her older daughter and how she should have done things differently. She know understood that when she expected to wipe tears and hold her daughter close like a mother does an infant that that wasn't the maternal feelings that she had. Now she could recognize that she had had maternal feelings, just the ones a mother has for a teenager. She had pushed her daughter away because it wasn't what she expected. And sadly, now she knew that she had been feeling what she should have all along. But wasn't that how things you normally see these situations? Hindsight is always 20/20.

Shelby stood up straighter and combed through her hair with her hands. The hustle and bustle of the New York street behind her shrunk in comparison to the enormity of what lay in front of her. Not the rather large apartment complex, but the idea of seeing her biological daughter. She wasn't sure what she would even say or if Rachel would talk to her. The likelihood of Rachel slamming the door in her face was daunting, but Shelby couldn't not take this chance. She had screwed up once, but this time she was going to leave things in her daughter's hands. She would let Rachel control the situation like she always should have.

Her hands shook slightly as she sent a text to her husband. She didn't think she could hear his voice without using him as a crutch and that was the last thing she needed. She had to do this alone something he understood completely. Sometimes she still couldn't believe she had married this wonderful man. This man that supported her and Beth in every way possible. This man that cared for everyone so much and kept out of a situation until he saw that he was needed. He was the one to encourage her to do this. Given her the means to do this.

Shelby felt that overwhelming need to fold into herself again. It was the ache that she associated with Rachel. Her hand hovered over the tomato she had been cutting for the salad and couldn't even bring herself to move.

"Shelb. What's wrong?" His voice was strong and sure. He already knew. She knew he knew.

She couldn't turn to look at him. She couldn't do anything, especially anything that ended with her looking him in the eyes. "I should have never walked away, Will."

She felt him come next to her. Slowly taking the knife from her hand and laying it harmlessly next to the cutting board. "Rachel?"

"It just wasn't what I thought it would be. But it wasn't wrong. I was wrong. I should have been there. You were right when you told me she wasn't strong like me. I could have supported her. I-" She choked back a sob as she remembered that conversation years ago that changed everything. The day she made the decision to walk out on her daughter.

"You know, my Dad always used to tell me something that isn't very comforting, but I think fits well here. Granted, he is the same man that burnt down our house while I was growing up." Will shook his head to disperse the fleeting thought. "'Don't waste your time on would'a should'a coulda's. What matters is what you're going to do about it now.' I can see this eating at you. This isn't new. You're not that good of an actress."

Shelby couldn't stop the wet laugh that escaped her mouth, "What should I do, Will?"

He turned her to face him, pulling him close with his hands on her hips. "What do you want to do?"

The answer was simple. She wanted to find her daughter and talk to her. She thanked God that Will had Rachel's address from the last Christmas/Chanukah card that she sent to him. Will hadn't told Rachel he married her mother and he was extremely tight lipped about Rachel. Not that he knew much more than Shelby was able to find out via Google. It seemed her daughter had succeeded in doing what Shelby failed at. She made it to The Great White Way and dominated it.

She glanced awkwardly at the doorman before stepping through the doors into the cold lobby. It was nice and everything she dreamed about when she was trying to make it…this was the epitome of living in the Upper Eastside.

Shelby pressed the up button on the elevator several times. She was getting impatient. Every moment she stood down here she had another moment to think about what her daughter could possibly say to her. She wanted to see her 28 year old daughter standing in front of her bright eyed at least for a moment. She didn't want to live on pictures of her daughter in character anymore. She wanted to see what Rachel looked like as a person now. She wanted to see what type of woman her daughter had become.

She stopped at the door touching it lightly. She would have to handle if her daughter wanted nothing to do with her. It was her choice now. Shelby wasn't going to try and make decisions for her daughter anymore. This time the ball would be in Rachel's court and if it took her years or never to warm up to the idea of having a mother. Well, it would be Shelby's own fault and she would accept that.

Breathing deeply once again she balled her fist and rapped on the door. She was expecting to walk away from this hurt and upset. She was expecting to see her beautiful daughter shut the door in her face. She wasn't expecting what she got.

The door opened slightly and Shelby's eyes widened at the figure appearing in the doorway. "Jesse?" He was a little taller than she remembered and had a sense of manliness that he had only started gaining during his time in Vocal Adrenaline. She couldn't stop herself from being proud that he had grown into this man.

His eyes narrowed slightly as he slipped through the door and pulled it to a crack behind him. "What are you doing here?"

For a moment Shelby was taken aback. Sure, he was the only one she had lost touch with a few years back, but she didn't think he resented her. She had just come to the conclusion that Jesse St. James felt he was too big for Ohio or anyone left in it and didn't push the subject. "I-" She wasn't quite sure what to say or where to start. Or why Will had given her the wrong address. "Will must have given me the wrong-"

Jesse seemed to grow angrier. "He had no right to give you anything and you can go home right now and tell him that."

"No- not Will Jones from Vocal Adrenaline. My-" Her voice died as soon as her eyes caught sight of a little face peeking out of the doorway. Everything fell into place. It made sense that Jesse was standing outside that doorway. It made sense that he was seething at her. Will hadn't got the address wrong. The little boy peeking out the door proved that. There was no mistake that this was her grandbaby. And there was no mistake that the man in front of her was his father.

"Daddy?" He couldn't have been more than four and spoke with a strong lisp.

Jesse's eyes widened slightly as the little boy pushed through the crack in the door and grabbed hold of his pant leg. He eyed Shelby warily before turning to the little boy, "Go back inside, Tommy. Didn't Mommy say that you could help with dinner tonight?"

The little boy shook his head briskly and Jesse snatched him up into his arms as if afraid that Shelby would make a grab for him. "Savy is crying again and Mommy is trying to get her to stop. She told me to get you so you can sing her back to sleep. You'll sing me to sleep tonight won't you? You and Mommy." Jesse nodded. The little boy turned his head quickly back towards Shelby, "Who's she?" He sounded almost scandalized and Shelby had to fight the urge to laugh. Of course two of the most dramatic people in the world would have the most obstinate and dramatic child ever to grace the planet.

Jesse narrowed his eyes at her and Shelby almost felt the need to take a step back. Almost. She was still ex-director and drill sergeant of Vocal Adrenaline. He opened the door with his left hand, still balancing his son with his right. "Just someone trying to sell something we aren't buying."

Shelby watched as they turned and started through the door. The little boy's eyes found her's again. "Like those evil telemakers Mommy hates."

Jesse paused slightly, "Yeah. Just like those evil telemarketers Mommy hates."

The door slammed shut leaving Shelby in the hallway easily imagining the life she could have been a part of if she hadn't let Rachel go.