Ok... Malice here and back!!! I will be updating my stories Malicious Adobescent and the other one XD... But sense my sister is helping me with this one I must upload this one. There will be a chapter per weekday... Provided there are no plans for said day.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hell'z Talk Show! ((With a 'z' always with a z XD))
Watari: With our host... Hao and Shena
Shena: Why is Hao's name first?!
Watari: I mean Shena and Hao...
Hao: HEY!!!!
Watari: Our host... the hellions...
Shena and Hao: HEY!!!
Watari: Shut up and go on stage... the audience can hear us.
Audience: -blinking, confused, laughing-
Shena and Hao come out smiling and waving
Shena: Welcome to our show. Hao... introductions.
Hao: Ok Onee-chan! Here we have a lovely camera man Squall Leonhart... -points to Squall-
Squall: -waves-
Shena: Lovely?
Hao: -whispers to her- shhh... he doesn't realize he's doomed...
Squall: What?
Shena: -smiles- nothing.
Hao: Next up, we have our sercurty, Tori and our guard demon... neko thing in the straightjacket, Maxie!!!!
Maxie: -foaming at mouth, bites at random person-
Squall: ACK! -is random person- -whacks with camera- My contract said no pain till the end of the show... wait...
Tori: He's right... -zaps Maxie- SIT DOWN!
Maxie: -whimper, sit-
Shena: Anyway...
Hao: Well thats everyone... important somewhat...
Shena: For now... and for our guests... Miroku! Tohru! and Entai!
Guest come out. Tohru runs behind Hao. Miroku comes out drooling. Entei comes glaring at Miroku
Hao: -blinks at Tohru- ummm...
Shena: Wow these people hate each other already.
Tohru: -points to monk and pouts- HE GROPED ME!
Hao: -hits Miroku with iPod- No groping unless I'm doing it!
Shena: . -hits monk with zune- lechorous monk...
Entei: Why am I here?
Tori: Ummmm... Cuz we have these... -pulls out blood test for Shena to read, hands to Shena-
Audience: -confused again-
Shena: -eyes widen, takes and reads- Entei... you are... Hao'z and my father?
Entei: I have kids? I've had sex? Oo
Hao and Shena: Apparently so... -shiver-
Tori: Does this make him my dad too? O.o
Shena: Ummmm... well you came from me... and we have the same bloodline... so what the heck... sure
Entei: Wait a minute...
Miroku: -walks to Tohru and kneels- This is so beautiful... Kids finding their father... Tohru... will you bare my children?
Tohru: ummmm... if I say yes will you never grope me again
Shena: XX Tohru!
Miroku: AGREED!
Tohru: Ummm... yes...?
Hao: -whacks Miroku- No!
Shena: You baring his children involves much groping!
Tohru: Wait... AHH! -slaps Miroku-
Miroku: Ow... ah... slaps of love...
Hao: What are you a masco?
Miroku: As many times as I've been hit... yeeeah...
Squall: damn...
Shena: -dittos Squall- damn dude...
Hao: Where the hell is San- -interrupted-
Miroku: -covers Hao'z mouth- shhhhhh... She'll hear you... -eyetwitch-
Shena: SANGO!!! -calls-
Miroku: -pounces Shena- SHUSH! I'll give you anything if you don't call!
Hao: Sango!
Miroku: YOU TOO!
Hao: -grin-
Shena: -blink, blink- oo oh no...
Hao: Come to this address after the show -smirk-
Shena: Miroku... you have just become bisexual...
Miroku: -sweatdrop- damn... I swore InuYasha and Sesshomaru would be the last time
Shena: InuYasha?
Tohru: Sesshomaru!!! -hearts in eyes-
Shena: Uh...
Tohru: I love that sexy man. Makes even me a fangirl...
Shena: What about Kyou and Yuki?
Tohru: What they don't know won't hurt them...
Hao: This is being boardcasted live worldwide... with re-runs... I'm sure they'll see it
Tohru: WHAT!!!! I thought it was only in Canada!
Shena: No... its made in Canada...
Canadian guards come in with guns and everyone is forced to sing Canadian anthem. They leave soon after
Entei: -blinks...-
Shena: Damnit! I'm not canadian...
Hao: Me neither... if it weren't for the budget cuts we wouldn't be here...
Tohru: Go the mexico.
Hao: Don't you mean go to mexico?
Entei: No mexico...
Tohru and Hao: but...
Entei: No mexico. -glare-
Shena: . When did you decide to become our father?
Entei: When the test said I was...
Shena: Damn blood
Hao: I can't believe my dad is a pokemon...
Tohru: At least he's legendary and kinda handsome
Shena: Thats turth... and it also explains our powers.
Tori: Maxie escaped...
Shena and Hao: WHAT?! WHEN?!
Tori: Ummm... after the guest first came out...
Shena: You let him out didn't you?
Tori: I didn't really lock the jacket if thats what you mean...
Hao: Why?
Tori: I was drinking coffee and I forgot..
Shena: -falls over- ACK!
Miroku and Squall: -getting chased by Maxie- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Shena: -looks at- Go Maxie Go!!!!
Squall: I gotta record the show or else no rantings!!!
Hao: Damn...
Shena: damn... and the specail thing isn't set up because the monkeys killed the machines...
Hao: We'll be back after these messages...
Shena: Take it away Foamy!
Camera is all wobbly as everyone scampers to get a nude Maxie back in the straight jacket... except Tori and Hao who are now getting chased by Maxie
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Foamy: These are Foam-mercials!!!! First up we are expertising Name Brand Akatsuki Wear!
Shena's Voice: RETURN OF THE PIMP HAT!!!!
Itachi and Kisame: -come out with those funny straw hat thingys on-
Too sexy for my shirt is playing in back ground
Deidara and Tobi: -come out with underwear with red clothes on them-
Foamy: o.O Apparently there's underwear too
All females from show: SEXY! -drool-
Foamy: Get back to catching that nude bastard!!! -points to Maxie-
Maxie: -stops, pounces Foamy-
Hao: -catches Maxie who has Foamy in his mouth-
Shena: Poor Foamy...
Entei: Poor Foamy? Poor Maxie...
Foamy: -beats the living shit outta Maxie- THATS FOR TRYING TO EAT ME YOU INSANE ASSHOLE!!!! -walks away covered in drool- NEXT TIME I'LL NUETER YOUR ASS AND BLOW YA UP!
Hao: Back to the show...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shena: -Chokes while laughing- That was a very interesting commercial...
Hao: Interesting is right .
Shena: Well,for all those veiwers who are just now joining us this is what has happened so far. 1) Miroku is still a perverted monk and is groping Tohru. 2) Hao and I just realized that a legendary pokemon is our father. -points to Entei-
Hao: Still don't see how that happened...
Shena: Me either but hey it's life. And (3) Tohru is raping a Sesshomaru plushie. -points to girl moving up and down on the wall,humping plushie-
Hao: What the hell? -stares at-
Tohru: Huh?! -turns around looking at them hiding plushie behind her back-
Tori: Way to go pulling off the innocent act Tohru...real nice . -sarcasim-
Audience: OHHHHH!!!! AHHHHH!! -takes pictures-
Shena: Hey!!! No pictures!!
Hao: To late...-hides his camera-
Entei: What the hell type of show is this?
Hao: HELL'Z SHOW!!!!
Shena: The type of show is in the title...
Tori: This show is basicaly about random hilarious shit that makes people laugh.
Squall: And or cry...-holds back tears from Maxie biting him on the ass-
Entei: Yeah...and it also makes no sense..
Shena: What do you think the word RANDOM means? .
Hao: -walks over to Tohru- First of all Tohru...your doing this all wrong...
Tohru: I am? - looks up at Hao-
Hao: Yes..you are...
Shena: Hao don't give the girl lessons...
Hao: But she needs them...
Shena: Not from you!! You'd kill her...
Hao: -smirks- Speaking from experience huh Shena?
Shena: Silence pet!
Tohru: You two have a history together?
Shena and Hao: We do.
Shena:What of it?
Tohru: Wait...Aren't you two related?
Hao: Very mush so...-grins and turns his head toward Shena-
Entei: O.O...What the hell?
Shena: We are...
Miroku: O.O INCEST!!!!!!!
Audience: INCEST!!!!!
Audience Member #1: Was it mascohistic?!! o.O
Tori: The poor kidz who watch this show...-shakes her head-
Hao: It was. Oh believe me it was...-has stars in eyes from memory-
Shena: -hits Hao in the head with a giant fan- Stop remebering!!!!
Entei: And I'm related to you two how? .
Hao: -gits hit with fan- Ow!!
Random masked figures comes in, which is Tobi and Deidara
Tobi: SHENA! HAO! WE ARE YOUR FATHERS!!!!!
Shena and Hao: o.O The hell?
Deidara: -sigh-
Tobi: NOW I SAY THE MAGIC WORDS TO MAKE YOU MARRY US!!!
Deidara: What the hell? -was just dragged along-
Tobi: ZEEKY BOOGIE DOOG!!!
Tobi and Deidara blow up
Tobi: WEEEE LOOKS LIKE THE AKATSUKI ARE BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!!!
Deidara: Imma kill you Tobi!!!!
Disappear all team rocket like with a twikle in the sky
Hao: -blink, blink- Oooookay...
Entei: Now that was abit more believable than me being you guys father...
Hao and Shena: -leers over at Entei and hits him with giant fan-
Shena: Oh yeah! Believe that you big lion thing!
Hao: -walks off stage and drags Tohru to back room- Come dear...I'll give you some lessons.
Shena and Tori: That poor girl...
Miroku: Hey!!! Come BACK HERE!!!
Shena and Tori: -blinks in amazment-
Shena: You think he's going to stop him?
Tori: Maybe. He is a monk.
Miroku: I want to join you!!! -goes to back room with Hao and Tohru,closes and locks the door-
Shena and Tohru: -falls over- ACK!!!
Entei: -sweatdrop- Thats it! I'm not going on any more shows!
Maxie: -chases Squall and Foamy around-
Yuki and Kyo: OH NO YOU DON"T!!!!!!
Shena: Where the hell did they come from?
Tori: Japan?
Shena: I know that Tori...
Tori: Then why did you ask?
Shena: It was a hypothetecal question!!
Tori: Ohhhhh...why didn't you say so?
Shena: -sweatdrop- I didn't think I had too... .
Yuki: Where is she?!! -walks over to Shena-
Shena: Wheres who?
Kyo: Tohru who else?!!
Shena: You could be talking about Squall or Maxie for all I know.
Yuki: No...Where'z Tohru?
Shena: Mousee!!! -hugs Yuki-
Yuki: Turns into mouse and looks up at Shena- Oh no.
Shena: -chibifies herself and chases him around-
Tori: There back there. -points to back room-
Kyo: Thanks...Uh...Girl.
Tori: It's Tori you stupid, orange, four-legged, flea biten mongrel. -says all calm like-
Kyo: Orange? Four-legged?? Fleas??? Mongrel????
Tori: Thats right.
Shena: -uncibi'z and covers Tori's mouth- That enough Tori...
Tori: - blink,blink- Fine...
Yuki: -poof of smoke,turns back to normal self-
Shena: OO -nose bleed- NUDE YUKI!
Tori: Just go get Tohru before she's penatrated...
Yuki and Kyo: Oh yeah -runs back there-
Shena and Tori: -follows-
Entei: -follows for the hell of it... -
Squall: -beaten Maxie with a candy cane- . How's that for minty...?
Foamy: -beating with a bagel-
Maxie:
Back-stage, which the audience can see on a big screen on the stage for some reason
Yuki: -kicks open door- TOHRU! OO;
Nude Hao, Tohru, and Miroku, embranced in sexual sandwich
Hao: -looks at nude Yuki, grin- Wanna join sexy?
Yuki: OO -looks down- oh... ummm...
Kyo: -laughs-
Shena, Tori, and Entei: -laughing-
Yuki: -steals Hao's pants and puts them on- They're kinda big...
Shena: They weren't yours...
Hao: Just tighten the belt...
Kyo: .. Well... we're too late for this rescue...
Tori: -hugs Kyo- I want a kitty
POOF
Kyo: You just called me a orange four-legged flea bitten mongrel and you want a kitty?
Tori: Yes...
Shena: Wow...
Tori: -holds Kyo up against her boobs-
Kyo: I can think of worse places to be... . .
Shena: Yeeeah... like inbetween her legs...
Kyo: How do you know I wouldn't like that?
Tori: e.e hentai kitty...
Shena: I didn't know... I DON'T CARE!!!!
Sango appears out of nowhere
Sango: -evil red eyes- MONK!!!!!!! or should I say... HUSBAND!!!!
Everyone except Miroku: Husband?!?!
Miroku: Oh yeah... I married her . ;
Sango: -puts Miroku out of sandwich- I'M SO NUETERING YOU WHEN WE GET HOME! LITTLE MIMI AND LITTLE MARU AREN'T BEING BORN IF YOU KEEP THIS UP!
Miroku: -river of tears- TTTT But I didn't get to cum...
Tohru: Don't worry Hao will make it up...
Hao: I like this girl
Shena: -grabs Hao and pulls him out- Stop converting people to the hentai side...
Tohru: -crys- I want Hao! ;-;
Shena: Then go find your own...!!!!
Hao: -Smirk- -likes being claimed and fought over-
Miroku: Lucky bastard... .
Sango: -hits Miroku with a fan... a huge fan- If only I had the hirikostuz ((Screw spelling))
Miroku: TTTT
Entei: -sits and stares- If this is my family... I'm seriously scared... -- I shouldn't breed again...
Gaint bell rings
Shena: Oh our time is up. Hope you enjoyed the show...
Squall: -getting Foamy protection services- WHORSHIP THE FURRY ONE! At least until Amethyst gives me my weapons back...
Shena: On our next episode our guest will be... ummm...
Hao: Ah shit... Tori!
Tori: eh heh... forgot to invite tomorrow's guest...
Shena: DAMNIT! Well... until we get our guest... on a overnight flight! Thanks to Tori! We'll see you tomorrow on...
Everyone: Hell'z Show!!!!!
Squall: -turns off camera- x.x; I hate this show already...
Hao: Shut it... you get paid alot.. .
Shena: And we can take it away... and it'll just be pain pain...
Squall: -goes home... quickly-
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later that night...
Tobi: We've returned... o.o where'd everyone go?
Deidara: Its late you dumbass!!!!
Itachi: . They went home -coming outta nowhere-
Deidara: duh
Tobi: Oh darn... I want to show them this...
Deidara: what?
Tobi: -pulls out Zeeky bomb-
Bomb: Zeeky Boogie Doog.
All go boom
Tobi: YAY! THE AKATSUKI IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!!!!
Itachi: I'm going to kill you!!!!
Deidara: Not before me!!!!
They disappear into a sparkle in the sky, leaving the mess to a very upset Watari
Watari: I'll kill everyone on the show soon -- -proceeds to hire alchemist-