Hello, and welcome to my very first Dynasty Warriors fic. Some of you may recognize me from the Mega Man and Suikoden categories-to those of you that do, hello and thank you for stopping by! To the others that do not know the name of Deya-hello to you to, and I would also like to thank you for stopping by. I received inspiration for this fic from Dynasty Warriors 4: Empires and Dynasty Warriors 5-I hope all of you enjoy.
This fic will be centered around the strategist Lu Xun-
Sun Ce: Uh, does anyone sense any favoritism going around? (looks at the entire DW fan fic category) I'm not really complaining or anything, but that guy has completely DOMINATED the entire category-
Me: I HAVE seen a Gan Ning fic in here somewhere-
Gan Ning: Great. One point for me. (sulks off)
Lu Bu: Anything about me? (looks around eagerly)
Me: (frowns) Not really.
Zhou Yu: What about me?
Me: You have one point too. Well, I know you have at least two points. BUT Lu Xun isn't the only one in here.
Ma Chao: But he IS in most of the story, right?
Zhang Fei: Why do we even exist? (storms off in fury)
Chibi Taishi Ci: (holds up huge red sign) This author appreciates all reviews, but not reviews from hateful, evil or even crude individuals. Please post insightful, meaningful reviews, even if they are only a few words. If any of you have any dirty comments, please keep them to yourselves. Reviews are meant to assist the writer-they are not meant to create fights among the users of this sight. Thank you.
Chibi Zhou Yu: We posted the sign simply because this author ran into a few problems with her other projects, and with fics created by other users. For example, one user decided to post an extremely filthy review-it really even wasn't a review. This user also assaulted several other authors in the Mega Man category. For those of you that want to act as this user did, be warned-you will immediately be reported to the staff. Thank you.
Chibi Lu Bu: We are also not looking for any wise cracks. For those of you that want to spout off, answer to me and I'll take care of you. (grins w/shiny eyes and weapon)
Chibi Cao Cao: What can you do in such a state? You are even smaller than an ant!
(Note: Since all our friends are in chibi mode, their voices are no different from the voices of chipmunks. Cao Cao doesn't sound any bigger than Lu Bu does.)
Chibi Lu Bu: I'M THE SCOURGE OF CHINA! ALL SHALL FEAR ME!
Chibi Gan Ning: You mean, no one fears you RIGHT now? Great! I'll be the first one to take over China! Heh heh heh heh heh-
Chibi Zhou Yu: Excuse him. He was exposed to too much sea water, and so he has lost a countless amount of brain cells-
Gan Ning: SEA WATER THIS, PRETTY BOY! (flings him away, watches him become a tiny, microscopic speck) VICTORY! CHINA WILL BE MINE!
Zhang He: NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT! But first, would anyone like to buy a few things from me? (comes in pushing cart filled with pink/red flowers) I have all kinds of BEAUTIFUL delicacies! Here! (gives one to Lu Bu) Have one for FREEEEEEEEE! (leaps away like ballerina)
Sun Quan: He isn't in this fic, is he? (frowns)
Zhang He: (from ten miles away) YES I AM, MY PRETTY! (spreads beauty all over the world)
Cao Cao: DAMN YOU! I'M BLIND! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-MY AMBITION! I CAN'T DIE LIKE THIS!
Liu Bei: (shyly) Ummmmmm….(looks like puppy) Why did the sky turn pink?
Gan Ning: Ask your FRIEND over there. (points his blade out at the ecstatic Zhang He) He'll be happy to tell you.
Guan Yu: This is….quite disturbing…..
Gan Ning: What on earth are you doing, old man?
Guan Yu: Preparing to take the life of a certain insect. Excuse me. (leaves w/weapon)
Me: No violence! Not yet! Nooooooooooo! The fic hasn't even started yet! Come back!
Lu Bu: I WILL TAKE OVER CHINA! (plays the board game version of Dynasty Warriors) TAKE THIS, SUN JIAN! Wait a minute-a 'Go to the Dungeon' card? WHAT IS THIS? DO NOT PASS 'GO'?
Gan Ning: You don't even know what you're playing. (laughs)
Cao Cao: (is still screaming) NOOOOOOOOOO! REMOVE THESE PETALS AT ONCE! BEFORE I HAVE YOU THROWN INTO THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF ANNIHILATION!
SSX: (dressed for battle) All righty-how do all of you like my new outfit? Pretty snazzy, huh? (runs up to Liu Bei and kisses him right on the mouth)
Chibi Sun Ce: NOOOOOOOO! SIS, YOU CAN'T DESTROY OUR ALLIANCE WITH THE SHU KINGDOM!
Sun Quan: ….all of our dreams….dashed……our alliance….our foundation…
Zhang Fei: She'll corrupt him! Our brother will die if this continues!
Guan Yu: Who's playing the violin music? (listens to background music)
Dong Zhou: (puts away violin) What? I'm not doing anything.
Sun Ce: It's too late. Our alliance has been destroyed. Liu Bei will die within a few hours. It's guaranteed. I'm sorry, everyone. (pats Zhang Fei on the back)
SSX: HEY! WHAT'S ALL OF THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
Sun Ce: (sighs heavily and walks off, playfully ignoring his sister.)
Me: Can we start now? Hello! I'm ready!
Lu Xun: (not chibi) I'm not too sure if I am…..(frowns)
Lu Bu: (looks at Lu Xun) You're pretty popular with the chicks. Tell me-what's your secret? I seriously need to know. I'm like, so desperate here.
Cao Cao: (storms over to Xiahou Dun) WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? PUT THOSE FLOWER PETALS AWAY BEFORE I HAVE YOU EXECUTED!
Xiahou Dun: (puts away bouquet) Sheesh. Just wanted t'give them to someone. (sulks off)
Cao Cao: And who might that someone be? Hmmm?
Xing Cai of DW5: Hey. Has anyone seen Xiahou Dun?
Xiahou Yuan: Wait a minute. Brother Dun is in love with Zhang Fei's daughter? (exchanges worried glances with Cao Cao)
Zhang Fei: HEY! WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR DRINK SUPPLY?
Cao Cao: This might be a problem…..
Lu Xun: (releases long, heavy sigh of impatience as war breaks out behind him)
Zhang He: Who wants to join me? (grins while dancing to 'B R Right' by Trina and Ludacris-the uncut version)
Zhang Fei: NOOOOOOOOO! I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! THE PAIN! NOOOO! MAKE IT STOP!
Cao Cao: ……..(frowns, acts as if he wants to say something, gives up and leaves in frustration)
Lu Meng: Hey. Do you guys know that all of your names rhyme? Zhang He, Zhang Fei-
Gan Ning: Guan Yu, Cheng Pu-
Lu Meng: Dude, that's the name of a place.
Zhang Wei: Hey. Word up.
Cao Ren: You aren't real. There isn't a 'Zhang Wei' here.
Gan Ning: Yes there is. He just spelled his name wrong. (turns 'Zhang' into 'Jiang') There. Be satisfied.
'Illimitable Purity' has been inspired by the music of the .hack/sign series: Obsession, Gentle Dawn and the other songs created by the SeeSaw band bring this story great meaning. The current background music is 'Obsession'. I hope everyone will enjoy! Thank you!
Big shout out to SilentNinja-who created the hilarious 'Dynasty Warriors at EBGames' fic. Congratulations on making a really cool fanfic.