hi people heres my little twilight series spoof since the plot is so simple and boring i was like hey, i could make a parody well here goes.
also, to those of you hardcore twilight fans who cn never stand seeing twilight being made fun of, chillax.
BD spoilers too.
Characters r sure to be ooc, its a parody duh so dont complain about that
Bella: Damn, I hate Forks! Stupid rain.
At school...
Mike: Hey I'm Mike.
Bella: I don't care.
Mike: Welcome to Forks!
Bella: Go away.
Mike: I like you. We should go out!
Bella: In your dreams.
Mike: See you later.
Bella: Ugh.
At lunch...
Jessica: Dude, stop stealing my man away from me!
Bella: Who?
Jessica: Well duh, who do think?!
Bella: Eric?
Jessica: MIKE is MINE!
Bella: Oh.
Cullens and Hales enter the caf...
Bella: Wow, who are those awesomely bee-yu-ta-ful peoples!?
Jessica: Oh, those are the children of the doctor and Mrs. Cullen.
Bella: Wow, that bronze haired guy is pretty hot...
Jessica: Why would he like you? He doesn't like nobody.
Bella: Damn it!
Tyler: Hey there Bella. *winks*
Mike: Bella's my homegirl!
Tyler: Oh yeah?
Mike: Yeah.
Tyler: You will pay for that.
Mike : Sure.
*Tyler gives Bella a hug*
Bella: Get off you freak! I don't even really know you!
Mike: Haha! I win!
*Pecks Bella on cheek*
Bella: Ugh, leave me alone! And I'm not impressed with you people! So go away.
Mike and Tyler: Groan.
Eric: Hey there, Isabella!
Bella: It's BELLA, you idiot! Go away.
bell rings, Bella goes to class.....
Teacher: Take a seat right there, right next to Edward.
edward covers his nose and goes all stiff.
Bella: What did I do!?
edward glares. He hands her the sciency material stuff.
Bella: Dude, chillax.
Edward:Groan
bella can tell he is trying not to breathe.
she sniffs her hair inconspicuously. it smells like strawberries.
Bella thinks: Maybe he's allergic to strawberries.
Bella says: Dude, chillax.
Edward: Choke
edwards face is all pinched up, like he's in pain.
Bella: Are you constipated? If that's the case, go take some mineral oil...
edward is giving bella the perfect evil glare.
bella recognizes edward as that hot dude with the bronze hair from lunch.
Bella thinks: Why does he hate me? Sheesh! Why is he glaring, besides that constipation comment. Ugh, I can't take it. He's gorgeous, but irritating at the same time.....
Bella: Stop glaring, otherwise I'll shoot you.
Edward: Go to Hell.
Bella: I don't really have a gun, you moron! Stop staring at me, it's freaky and stalker-ish!
bell rings..edward zooms inhumanely fast out of classroom.
Bella wails: WHAT DID I DO???!!
bella's day goes on....she's at home with charlie, her father
Bella: Yo Daddy-o, went fishing?
Charlie: Fishing is my life.
Bella: You're pathetic.
Charlie:Fishing rocks my world.
Bella: Where's dinner!?
Charlie: Go get some of those frozen waffles.
Bella: Ew!
Charlie: Fine. Go cook something for us then.
Bella: Well what do you want?
Charlie: Fish!
Bella: Ugh, fine.
bella cooks up fish, charlie looks at her in awe.
Charlie: Dude, you're like the master chef! Cook for me everyday!
Bella: Yeah, since you're so incapable of doing it yourself.
Charlie: You're my slave. Bake some of my haddock tomorrow.
Bella: I don't want to eat fish everyday!
Charlie: My house, my rules. Cook fish or die.
Bella: Grumble, Grrrrrr, Uggggggggggg, FINE! I swear when I finish college, I'm immediately getting a house so far away from you and I won't have to cook fish.
Charlie: Yeah, well that time has yet to come. So in the meantime, you'll be cooking me fish!
they sit down at the dinner table, not really talking, when charlie suddenly asks about boys.
Charlie: Hey, any boys you like?
Bella: Uh, well there's my friend Mike, but he's a weirdo.
Charlie: ...okay.......
Bella: Also, the Cullens don't really fit in. They stare dejectedly at the walls and the table at lunch. It's so weird. They're all pretty much flawless in their looks though. Especially this guy named Edward. *Bella's mouth starts drooling as she imagines her and edward together.*
Charlie: Are you okay?
Bella: Yeah I'm fine. Good night.
What do you think?
Twilight, in my humble opinion, is hilariously boring and i can't imagine why i was actually one of its fans.
Chapter one has been finished. Fin.
I think i'll make some new moon, eclipse, and bd parodies too, but that depends.
Well, what do u think?
when u review and if ur a hardcore twilighter, dont waste ur time about complaining about how twilight is so great and why the hell i shud make fun of it.
review only if u think i shud make improvements.
review only if ur going to keep the peace.
flames will be deleted unless theyre funny, then ill keep them.
hope u liked it!
I'm gonna make a chp 2 to this soon.