It was dark. But also bright. Killua had gotten used to the idea of realizing useless things like this after a week of living with Gon, his grandmother and Mito-san. The forest surrounding the two boys was dark. Almost as if it was leaking black ink from the depths of the shadowed woods. However, laying in the small clearing next to Gon, under the light of the stars and the moon, it was illuminated. And so, it was dark, but it was bright.
"Stupid" Killua thought to himself. He had been trying to avoid such… sickening thoughts. Though the ex-assassin was content. The warmth of the fire nearby and the stillness of the entourage of foliage calmed the silver haired boy, who was usually suspicious and wary twenty four hours around the clock. Even asleep. The perks of being raised by assassins.
The young killer closed his eyes, allowing this strange new sense of security to wash over him. It was unusual to feel so calm. The side effect of staying on Whale Island? Of staying with Gon's family? With Gon?
An odd shiver ran up the spine of the blue-eyed boy. He could feel a set of eyes watching him. He frowned, and casually opened one eye, glancing to his left. It was just Gon. "Idiot" Killua mentally voiced. The spiky haired kid was lying on his stomach, with his head in his hands, propped up on his elbows. His eyes were locked onto his companion's single opened one. A dumb, innocent, small, uniquely Gon smile adorned his face.
Killua hated it when Gon got like this. Emotional. The ex-assassin sat up slowly, facing Gon, whose smile widened in response. Killua sighed.
The fire danced waveringly next to the boys. The pale moonlight crested on the treetops, and pooled in the clearing, accentuating the natural rock formations with hues of sliver light. The flickering flame only added to the unique lighting, playfully illuminating the Hunter and the ex-assassin's faces.
Gon abruptly stopped his intent analysis of Killua, instead turning his attention towards the moon in the sky. The white-sliver radiance reflected in the spiky haired boy's earthy brown eyes.
- "Your hair is like the moon, Killua", Gon stated, his gaze still focused upwards.
Killua simply looked over at his friend, subconsciously running a hand through his silver strands. Gon returned his attention to his blue-eyed companion, that same smile having returned to his face.
- "Killua, why are you so quiet?"
- "Tch!" was the only response Gon received.
The young Hunter sighed before sliding closer to his friend. Killua didn't react. He only sat, his sapphire eyes transfixed on something in the distance. He rested his head on his folded arms, leaning against his knees.
- "Killua… Come on!" Gon, growing impatient, suddenly yelled.
He smacked Killua upside the head in the manner to which they had become accustomed to striking each other, on occasions where dispute and annoyance flared and reached a peak.
- "Oi! Gon!" The ex-assassin scolded in a rage.
Only he could hit Gon. Gon was his to sometimes lightly punch, when the Enhancer was being especially stubborn, clueless, or just straight up dumb.
- "Good", Gon said, clearly satisfied.
- "Eh?!" Killua began, outrage showing on every inch of his pale face.
- "Now you're paying attention."
- "So?"
- "So… What's up Killua? What's wrong? You can tell me."
Gon emphasized his last statement by placing his hand on the ex-assassin's. Killua, however, impatiently shooed Gon's hand away. He hated it when God did that. It was… embarrassing.
- "Killua… Please. Please tell me what's going on with you. You're my best, my only real friend. You mean the world to me. I just want to help", the black haired boy pleaded.
- "Nothing. I'm calm, I'm fine", Killua replied, though his tone suggested the contrary of his words.
Gon's resolve only seemed to strengthen. He frowned, his bottom lip curling up like how it did when he pouted. "God, he's so adorable…" the ex-assassin found himself thinking, momentarily forgetting he had sworn to himself to repress those thoughts.
Gon didn't make it easy. The constant touching, hugging, affectionate words, kind comforting, and sometimes awed praise. He loved it all, yet forced himself not to. He didn't want to jeopardize his friendship with Gon. He wouldn't allow himself to.
- "Killua?"
- "Hmm?"
- "Did you hear me?"
The boy shook his silver haired head, almost shamefully.
- "I said I'm not leaving. We're not leaving this place until you tell me what's up with you."
His stubborn face still showed on his normally serene features. Gon was serious about this. But… he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to tell his best friend his feelings for him. He would not gamble their friendship away on mere one-sided attraction. But this… distance. This coldness and repression on Killua's part was already creating a divide between the two boys.
Gon still held his look of iron-clad will and resolve. He wasn't giving up. Killua had to smile. This boy was too cute sometimes.
- "Fine", said Killua, firmly.
The spiky haired boy leaned in, his expression now intent and concentrated.
- "Say I had this friend", Killua started. "We have a really good, strong bond together, and he's my favorite person in the world. I can trust him. He doesn't care about my past or my wrongdoings, and he doesn't look down on me like most people. He's blunt and carefree, but has a huge heart. Now say I'd like to take this relationship… further."
- "Further?" Gon questioned.
The ex-assassin shot the Hunter a sideways glance before answering.
- "Yeah. Further. But I don't want to risk ruining what we already have. See my problem?"
Gon was dead silent. He was quiet, not moving, not making a sound. It seemed as though his breath had been caught. His fists were clenched, and he bore a strange look upon his face. Like he was confused, but also beginning to realize something.
The Hunter lifted his gaze to meet that of his companion's. His eyes betrayed his silence. His beautiful, big brown eyes. They spoke a thousand silent words. He was looking at Killua with a new look. As if he'd seen him in an entirely new light.
- "Killua…" Gon said his name tenderly.
The black haired boy's eyes softened. He smiled, a small, understanding sign of kindness.
- "Killua… You idiot", Gon said, but there was no teasing tone to his voice. A kind insult.
- "What?" The blue-eyed killer seemed angry, but in a diluted kind of way. He threw his hands in his pockets.
Again, Gon gave him a look of sad compassion.
- "Killua, I'm your only friend", Gon stated.
The ex-assassin realized his stupid, stupid, stupid stupid stupid mistake. Gon may as well have lit his face on fire, his blush was so intense. He turned away from the brown-eyed Hunter, not wanting him to notice his raging embarrassment.
A million thoughts raced through Killua's mind. Too many thoughts to process. "What if he hates me? What if he already has someone else? What if he runs away? What if he never speaks to me again? What if he laughs in my face?"
Killua was mentally planning some escape routes if things got too heavy for him. Marking small intricacies of no importance, anything to keep his mind astray. Distractions, distractions, but the thoughts still reverberated in his brain, echoing back and forth, speaking over one another, tormenting him from the inside.
He was about to cut and run (he had his escape planned and everything), when two green-sleeved arms wrapped around him from behind. They pulled him closer, pressing his back to the Hunter's chest.
Killlua side-stepped the embrace, turning to face Gon, eyes wide with shock. Cunning sapphire eyes bore into wide, innocent, but determined, brown ones. No words were needed to communicate between the two.
Gon smiled, his trademark grin, while Killua was stunned, frozen in place. Gon smiled even more at his companion's obvious confusion. Once again, he closed the distance between them, lacing his arms around the silver haired boy's neck. Killua returned the hug, placing his arms around Gon's waist. The Hunter nuzzled his face into the slightly taller boy's neck. Said taller boy squeezed tighter, not wanting there to be any amount of distance between him and his Gon. Not anymore.
They stayed there for a while. Simply wrapped in each other's arms. Caught in a tight embrace under the moonlight. Killua was overjoyed. He had him, he finally had him. Gon felt the same way about him.
And so they hugged. They stayed like this, taking in all of the other, until Killua pulled his face away. Gon did the same, looking up into his companion's eyes. It was bliss. Knowing they had one another. Killua slowly leaned in, his eyes half lidded with heavy emotion. Gon closed his own.
Killua crashed their lips together. It was soft, but intense. Meaningul, but passionate. It was Gon. The feel of him, the scent of him, the taste of him. And he was Killua's.
They fell asleep in the clearing that night. Laying on their sides, with Killua wrapped around Gon. Their limbs and hands intertwined, they were keeping each other warm.
But they both remembered. They weren't leaving until they had sorted this out. And so they slept. Peacefully, basking in the comforting presence of the other.
"I love you, Gon."