Chapter One: A fight and some very unimportant guests.
(Camrea flits from an audience that is has been told to clap but has no idea why to two lone figures standing on a stage.)
Elenmeoi: *Looks at unimpressed audience and turns to Agent Pyro* They look like they are about to turn and leave... Maybe we should tape them to their chairs? Wait... Why are we here again?
Agent Pyro: Umm.. I have no idea...(reads script) ummmm....
Elenmeoi: Me neither...
Agent Pyro (reads title of script...) L/MITS? What in the name of The Architect is that?
Elenmeoi: *gives you weird look* And I'm supposed to know?
Agent Pyro: Your an Elf... are you not Elenmeoi?*cough* Miss Fontaine*cough*
Random Person from the Audience: YOU GUYS SUCK!(gets up to leave)
Elenmeoi: *Glares* Bite your toung worm.
Agent Pyro:*Aims gun* Where do you think that you are going?
Elenmeoi: *lifts bow* I dare you to leave!
RPFTA: MAKE ME!(notices gun) Ummm... uh... Im going back to my seat now....
Agent Pyro: Yes please do Mr Antimony....
RPFTA: How do you know my name?
Agent Pyro: That is for the Mainframe to know... and no one else to find out...
Elenmwoi: *Gives you another wierd look*
Agent Pyro: Ill tell you later....(reads script again) Anyway... Welcome to L/MITS, Lord Of The Rings/Matrix Insane Talks Show...
Elenmeoi: Hi...
Agent Pyro: *Hands her the script* Page one, Line five... anyway, our first guest to talk to/interrogate is....
Elenmeoi: Oh who who?????!!!!!
Agent Pyro: Page one, line four... Agent SMITH!(squeal)
Elenmeoi: Ummm... I think not!
Agent Pyro: Why?
Elenmeoi: Because our first guest is gonna be Aragorn!
Agent Pyro: Since when?
Elenmeoi: Since I decided so!
Agent Pyro: Oh yeah?
Elenmeoi: YEAH!!!!!!!! *regains composure* I mean... Yes.
Agent Pyro: OH YEAH?!
Elenmeoi: *nods* Uma. // Yes. //
Agent Pyro: Prove it... You may be an elf, but at least I know the truth about the world...
Elenmeoi: I do too, you told me.
Agent Pyro: WHen was that?
Elenmeoi: I don't remember...
Agent Pyro: Oh... well asI was saying, our first guest is-
Elenmeoi: Aragorn.
Agent Pyro: Noooo.. Agent Smith...(looks expectantly towards the door. It opens)
Elenmeoi: ...
Agent Pyro: ITS ITS!
Elenmeoi: *Tries to look as if nothing unusual is happening*
Pizza Boy: Did some one order Pizza?
Elenmeoi: 0_o Idon't think so...
RPFTA: I DID!
Agent Pyro: SIT YOUR ASS DOWN BROTHA!
Elenmeoi: How did I see that coming...
RPFTA: MAKE ME SIT DOWN! IM HUNGY! YOU HAVE BEEN HOLDING US HOSTAGE FOR THREE HOURS NOW!
Agent Pyro: How long have you really eaten for though?
Elenmeoi: Hostage, yes... but if you weren't a hostage you'd be dead. *Shows point by shooting the arm of persons chair*
Agent Pyro: Yes.....
RPFTA: I DONT GIVE A-
Agent Pyro: Please, no swearing... this is a PG fic...
Elenmeoi: *nods*
RPFTA: I really dont care!*runs to Pizza Boy*
Agent Pyro: *shoots him*
:Elenmeoi: *Tries to look shocked then mutters to Pyro* Don't do that too often or we wont have an audience.
Agent Pyro: Awww.....*realizes that audience is scared stiff...* ummm(thinks) Remove last five minuites from everybodies memory.....
Agent Pyro: Hi this is Agent Pyro
Elenmeoi: *Blinks* Umm... yeah... this is Elenmeoi?
Agent Pyro: And welcome to the first ever ediotin of L/MITS.
Elenmeoi: Lord of the Rings/Matrix Insane Talk Show!
Agent Pyro: And our first guest is:
(both at same time)
Elenmeoi: Aragorn!
Agent Pyro: Agent Smith!
Elenmeoi: *Glares*
Agent Pyro:*takes of sunglasses and smirks* MUHAHAHAHA
Elenmeoi: O-o I don't like the sound of that...*grips bow tightly*
Agent Pyro: *is still laughing*
Elenmeoi: *Is beginning to get scared.*
Agent Pyro: *laughing and looks expectantly to the door...*
Elenmeoi: *blinks and looks to door*
They wait for five minuites...
Another Random Person From the Audience: *cough*
Elenmeoi: *Glares at person* Unlike you humans I can take silence...
Agent Pyro: *presses two fingers to earphone* Umm... hehehee I have just been informed that Agent Smith and Aragorn have been... detained... so we have three new guests... Mister Anderson, Mister Greenleaf, and Mister umm… Gimli…
Elenmeoi: *blinks* Elf! I'm no longer alone! *makes face* dwarf too...
Legolas and Gimli apper on stage
Gimli/ Legolas: Whoa... where are we?
Elenmeoi: *grins* On Earth, In a province, In a country, In a city, In a studio.
Legolas: Fellow elf, that made no sence at all....
Gimli: Yeah what he said....
A loud scream is heard from the roof. Everyone looks up...
Neo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Elenmeoi: There he is!
Agent Pyro: He must have hit an aeroplane or maybe some telephone wires
Neo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Elenmeoi: Nooooo... I think he's scared of you...
Neo*still hasnt hit the roof*
Agent Pyro: Well that rules out telephone wires....
Elenmeoi: *nods wordlessy*
Agent Pyro:*smiles as he hits the roof and falls through...*
Neo: OOF!
Agent Pyro: Get up anomoly....
Elenmeoi: *winces* That looked painful...
Legolas and Gimli are laughing....
:
Neo: My head hurts... Who put that plane in my path?
Agent Pyro: I had nothing to do with it...(shifty eyes)
Elenmeoi: O_o... Aaaaaaaanywho... *walks over to Pyro* are you okay??
Agent Pyro: Yes, I am functioning at normal Operating capacity... You?
Elenmeoi: If you're fine something is wrong...
Legolas: *Looks at them oddly*
Agent Pyro:*grins evilly* Well... that is better than what I have planned for himmm...(jabs thumb at Neo and smirks evilly)
Neo: *gulps*
Elenmeoi: *sighs with relief* Ah, you aren't okay.
Agent Pyro: Of course im not alright...*guestures towards large quashy chairs* please have a seat Mr Greenleaf, Mr Anderson, and Mr... um... Gimli...
Elenmeoi:*simply nods*
Gimli: *starts sobbing* ARE YOU MAKING FUN OF ME HAVING NO LAST NAME?
Elenmeoi: NO! Of course not...Well... maybe
Gimili: THIS IS WHY I DONT COME TO THESE THINGS!(fat amime tears start dribbling down his cheeks. her grabs a strand of Leoglas's hair and blows his nose on it
Legolas: NO MY BEAUTIFULL HAIR!
Elenmeoi: Ew... ya' know... I've never seen a dwarf cry before...
Gimli: It's not my fault... Im overly sensitive....
*legolas is chopping out the snot with a pair of siccors, going: Ew... ew... EW)
Elenmeoi: Poor, poor Legolas... *eyes dwarf*:
*Gimili screams and runs off the stage....*
Agent Pyro: Well done. you lost us our guest....
Elenmeoi:*laughs maniacally*I mean... ummmmm... oops?
Agent Pyro: Look, you talk to Mr. Greenleaf while i go an... 'talk' to neo... off stage.....
Neo:*gulps*
Elenmeoi:... why don't I like the sound of that? *whispers to Neo* Watch your back.
Neo: I dont need to watch my back... I have eyes in the back of my head!(turns around and we see that he has his sunglasses on the back of his head)
Agent Pyro:*Shakes head sadly*
Elenmeoi:*blinks* I think he's lost it...
Legolas: *nods*
Agent Pyro: He lost it a long time ago... Its called red pills....
Elenmeoi: Ah... that explains it all... I think...
Agent Pyro:*pushes Neo off stage while he yells things like: I BELIVE I CAN FLY! and jumps into the air only to come crashing back down*
Legolas: That... was the weirdest thing I've ever seen in all my long years...
Elenmeoi:*starts to laugh*Yes... well... *whispers to Legolas* I'm going to go and bring back Neo before Pyro kills him.
*from off stage, Pyro yells: YOU STUPID PERSON! YOU CANT DODGE BULLETS OR STOP THEM IN MID AIR!*
Legolas: Are you sure it's safe to be here?
Elenmeoi: Nope
Legolas: *gulps*
*there is a loud crash followed by some words that cannot be typed, and noises of people getting beaten up*
Elenmeoi: PYRO GET OUT HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Agent Pyro: *sticks head out from behind wall* Yes?
Elenmeoi: *stomps over and muters to Pyro* You are making too much noise. *points to terrified guests who are trying to decide if it would be better to impale themselves on the arrow still stuck in the chair or to wait this out* you are scaring the audience!
Agent Pyro: *looks at audience* they are still here? Oh....*drags an unconcious neo out and sticks him in the chair again. He wont stay sat up....*
Elenmeoi: *smacks Pyro and whispers* you didn't have to kill him...
Agent Pyro: *whispers back* i didnt.... did I?*checks for pulse* no he aint dead....
Elenmeoi: *still whispering* Oh... well... try to revive him... one of the audience members has made up his mind and has imapled himself... we don't want that to happen to the rest of them
Agent Pyro: oh....*looks at watch* well the show is almost over any way...
Elenmeoi: is it really? already?
Agent Pyro: yes it is....we are about 15 pages into the script right now.
Elenmeoi: *blinks* There was a script?
Legolas: *is glancing back and forth between the two trying to decide if he should stay or run like all nine nazgul are behind him*
Agent Pyro: *sighs* yes but i dont think that we stuck to it....*looks at script and reads it...* HOLY COW!(brandishes page infront of elenmeoi)
Elenmeoi: Yipes!
Agent Pyro: SEE IT SAYS EXACTLY WHAT WE ARE SAYING NOW!
Elenmeoi: *small squeaky voice* I'm scared...
Elenmeoi: YIPES!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HAD THAT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Agent Pyro: *looks ahead two pages...* well now that i know the future i can change it. I choose to end the show now....
Elenmeoi: Now? Okay.
Legolas: *decides to run*
Agent Pyro: Im Agent Pyro,
Elenmeoi: and I'm Elenmeoi
Agent Pyro: And this was the first ever edition of L/MITS! LEGOLAS YOU CANT ESCAPE*runs after him a the credits start*
Elenmeoi: WAIT!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT DO WE DO WITH NEO???????????????
Agent Pyro: Ummmm... lets leave that till next time....
Elenmeoi:*happily* Okay! ^_^
*Camera spins around to Elenmeoi standing on the stage trying to revive Neo, and Agent Pyro running after a ver frightened Legolas.
Elenmeoi:Now... COME BACK HERE LEGOLAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DID NOT SAY YOU COULD LEAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *shrugs and continues to try to revive Neo* Pyro'll get him