Author's Note:
This is for jjaeyuki who prompted me with: Post-ep 3x22, Philinda bickering about Daisy and May said "Because you think I'm a cold-hearted bitch!"
This was a lot of fun to write and I'm not sure if that's the ending you were looking for but I think the Philinda fandom needs this ^_^ Angst is my strong suit but Philinda goodness is too hard to resist. Those two really just need to make out already, I'm pegging my hopes on season four. Anyway, enough chat, let's get to the story! Enjoy!
"You can't keep going on like this Phil!" May stated as they stared each other down.
They were standing in his- no her office now. It had been a joint decision of theirs for May to take over the directorship after everything with Hive and the inhumans. If the whole ordeal had taught them anything it was that the directorship- scrap that, all of shield was severely compromised when people became ruled by their emotions. Out of everyone in the whole team, May was the only one able to keep a cool head, not to say that she didn't have emotions too, which is what made her the perfect candidate. It was the only logical choice really to make May director after seeing how close they had come to losing because of how compromised the team had become as people mixed personal feelings with the mission. If there was anything that Coulson had learnt, it was that shield needed a good director who wouldn't be influenced by their personal feelings, and he honestly didn't know anyone who could control their feelings better than May. That didn't mean though that he was happy to listen to her every order, ceding control so easily after being director for a while was hard. Heck, he'd almost always been her commanding officer during their partnership overseeing her ops, so this swap in power was more than a little difficult to get used to. The glare he was giving her right now was a clear sign of his refusal to obey orders, her orders.
"Don't tell me to give up on her," he growled, hands clenching.
She squinted at him, a slight crinkle forming in the middle of her brow.
"That's an order," she hissed quietly at him.
Usually that would be enough to scare any agent into submission, but not Phil Coulson.
"Daisy isn't just some agent we can forget about!" He exclaimed, anger flashing in his blue eyes.
She breathed out slowly through her nose trying to tamp down the rising anger within her.
"I'm not saying we should just forget about her," she said tightly, stoic mask back in place. "I'm asking you to take a moment to look after yourself."
"How can I do that when I know she's out there?! I can't waste time when-"
"I'm not asking you to," she cut him off, mind changed by his stubborn attitude. "I'm telling you to."
"I thought she meant more to you-"
"Don't."
"You trained her after all. I would have thought that you'd care more about her."
"Don't."
"At least show a little emotion that she at least meant something to you. Do something to try and get her to come back. It's like you don't even-"
"I do care!" She said sharply cutting his rant short. "Which I thought you knew, but obviously not because you think I'm a cold hearted bitch!"
His mouth gaped a little as he looked at her, the anger suddenly draining out of him as he saw the brief flash of hurt in her eyes before her mask fell back in place.
"May I-"
"Save it Coulson," she muttered before storming out the room, slamming the door shut.
He stood there staring at the door for a few moment trying to process what had just happened. A sick feeling settled in his stomach as he realised what he had just done. Sometimes he forgot that May wasn't invincible. She was human and she bled and she hurt, just like the rest of them. Just because she didn't show her feelings like the rest of them didn't mean that they weren't there. Too many people had made the mistake of thinking that May didn't feel anything, that she was untouchable. Phil had always shook his head at those people and been glad not to be one of them, but it seemed now that he was apparently no better. Guilt swirled inside him as he contemplated how best to fix the damage he had caused his friend. He loved May, maybe as a little more than friends, their relationship had always been more than just friends but they had never crossed the lines to lovers. The thought that she was hurting and he was the cause for part of that hurt made his heart ache. His whole world felt like it was a mess and hed been so focused on trying to get Daisy to come back that he'd completely overlooked the fact that May was probably hurting too. Then he'd gone and stuck his fingers in the wound and directed his frustration at her, throwing her private nature in her face. He felt like such a prick.
Taking a deep breath he exited the office in search of May. Fitzsimmons watched him through the windows of the lab as he passed by, their eyes seeming to have a sympathetic look as he glanced at them. The door slid open as he scanned his lanyard, the hangar was mostly empty, but sitting at the top of one of the platforms to the far left was May. He approached slowly making enough noise to make sure that she knew he was there. She stared straight ahead as he climbed up the stairs to sit beside her leaning against the wall, giving no sign that she had even noticed him at all. They sat together in silence for a moment as he contemplated what to say to her and she continued to ignore his presence. The cool cement of the wall pressed against his back as he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt. Still, she sat completely motionless, almost as if she was a statue.
"I'm sorry," he started wanting to clear the air between them as soon as possible.
The brief tightening of her lips the only sign that she was listening.
"I shouldn't have said what I did and I didn't mean it I-"
"Yes you did," her voice was tight and clipped.
Finally she turned to face him, a cold mask of indifference in place.
"Everybody else thinks I'm cold and emotionless, I just made the mistake of thinking you were different."
She rose to leave, hand gripping the metal railing tightly.
"May wait!" He called, hand reaching out to her.
She paused waiting for him to continue, her back to him.
"I know you're not like that and I know it's not easy for you to open up about how you feel. I just took out my anger and frustration on you and I shouldn't have. I was mad and I was mean and I am really sorry that I hurt you."
She still refused to turn around, but he could see the slight relaxation of the muscles in her back.
"I out of everyone here should know you best, but yeah, I messed up this time. I let my anger blind me and I said things that I shouldn't have, things that I didn't' mean."
The soft scoff at the back of her throat a sign that she was still listening to him.
"I know you don't often show your emotions openly, but I know that you feel deeply, maybe even more so than any of us. Not many people know that about you but I do and I love that about you and I am really sorry that I hurt you, Melinda."
She stood there perfectly still as she took a moment to process all that he'd said.
"You love that about me?" she asked, an incredulous note to her voice.
He said love? Crap. Swallowing nervously he watched as she turned her head to look at him over her shoulder.
"Yes…" He watched her worriedly as she looked down, teeth sinking into her bottom lip as she bit it absent mindedly. It was a nervous little habit of hers, something that made him want to kiss that bottom lip of hers.
"I-" clearing his throat he decided to finally be completely honest with her. "I love you."
The sharp movement of her head in his direction is a sign that he has caught her off guard. It's tense, almost cripplingly so as he holds his breath waiting for the rest of her reaction. Wetting his lips nervously he sits completely still waiting for her to storm off and reject him or better yet, take the moment to tell him exactly why he never had a chance. His leap of faith now seems ridiculous in hindsight, why the hell did he decide it was a good idea to lay his heart on the table? It seems that he can never be reasonable when Melinda is involved, his brain turns to mush and his heart can't help but speed up. To be completely truthful he was more than a bit of a mess right now, he was big mess that was ready to spillover. She still hadn't responded to his statement and that was making his nervousness even worse. Internally stressing, the silence between them was so heavy he felt like it was crushing him. It was agony. He just wished that she would put him out of his misery already.
"You- you love me?" she asked, voice thick with emotions that she thought she had buried deep down inside her. She finally looks at him, dark eyes brimming with emotions that she doesn't voice, it's almost overwhelming. It's one of the rare moments when she is completely unguarded, and she is beautiful.
"Yes," he confirms, blue eyes locked on brown.
There is no turning back now.
He's not even had the time to entirely process what's happened before he feels her lips upon his. Her hands grip his shirt tightly as she holds herself above him, knees either side of his hips. Snaking his hands into her hair he groans as they deepen the kiss. This passionate spontaneous side to her is slightly unexpected and yet it isn't. He loves that about her. Finally they break apart, both breathing heavily. She leans her forehead against his, eyes still closed. He slides his hands down to her waist, tugging down lightly so she sits in his lap. A small rare smile curves her lips up as she breathes in deeply. Her hair falls down shrouding both their faces. He doesn't think he's ever seen that particular smile before and he loves it, more so because of the fact that it is especially for him. He wants to make her smile like that more often, the world needs more of these secretive little Melinda May smiles. Placing soft kisses on her neck, he can smell the alluring scent of her perfume. The little sigh she makes causes his mouth to lift up in a smile and he definitely wants to get more of those sounds out of her. Leaning back in his lap she looks him in the eyes as she says those four words that make his heart stutter.
"I love you too."
He wants to say something in response but all thought flies out of his mind as she kisses him again. This kiss is definitely not suitable for the workplace and he's glad for a moment that they're someplace where people are not going to easily find them. He can taste her and feel her and, oh god he could get used to this. Why hadn't he done this sooner? Her nails are scratching lightly at his scalp as he runs his fingers through her hair. He loves her hair, it's so soft and silky and irresistible. He's going to take every opportunity he can to run his fingers through it. She makes more of those breathy little sighs as he presses open mouthed kisses along the length of her neck. If they keep continuing like this they're going to be needing a room, very soon. She eases away and he feels a little dazed as he looks at her, he's drunk on Melinda May, the thought makes his lips quirk up in a smile.
"Not here," she says sounding a little breathless.
He opens his mouth to speak but she places a finger on his lips. A finger which he presses a wet kiss to causing her to smile another of those incredibly rare Melinda May smiles.
"My office, ten minutes," she breathes in his ear before rising from his lap and disappearing down the stairs of the platform, a definite sway to her hips as she leaves.
Her sudden departure leaves him stunned but a slow smile begins to form of his face as his brain catches up with her words. She's definitely making use of that office better than he ever did.
A/N
One of my longer prompts, just over 2000 words! wow. If you have any prompts feel free to message me on tumblr (hardcore-evil-regal) or just leave it in the review box. Please, please, please leave a review. Reviews are like Philinda kisses and as we have none that are canon, please leave a review. Reviews are like philinda love and bring me so much joy XD