It has been the final piece to the puzzle for Edward. I knew this as we flew through Forks toward my home. The pervasive mood was one of heaviness and silence. Desperately I tried to come up with an opening line to break the tension. After all it was my mistake to get a paper cut in a house full of vampires. I had just opened my mouth to beg patience of Edward but he was first to speak.

"It is better if you do not try to understand our kind Bella. We live on the other side of life. We die and come back to life and walk and talk among you. You were so close to crossing the line tonight Bella. You would not haven even had a choice." Edward spoke calmly and clearly, almost rehearsed.

Of course I had always thought I was not perfect enough for Edward. He was carved of marble, moved with capable ease, and had lifetimes to build his intellect. I was weak sewn together in flesh, clumsy, and had only a handful of years of education when matched with him.

"Edward I understand the situation I put myself in tonight and that it was an accident that caused the situation at the house." I offered.

"That's the problem, Bella, you are a walking accident. It draws me to you and places you in danger. I may not always be there to rescue you from yourself. You think you sought me out but if I had been stronger you would never have had access to me or those in my family.

Edward looked out the window as we turned the corner and I realized that we were perilously close to home and Charlie. A seemingly large piece of me had known the second there was blood loose from my skin that this would happen. I had not allowed it to surface till now. Until this moment I had not understood that while I was an addiction for Edward, he was a fever burning through my skin carefully circling around my organs until now I felt constricted in the heat of it all.

The car came to a slow and precise stop in front of the house. I knew I was meant to get out of the car. There was something in the way Edward did not move to come to me either inside the car or to the door started the unraveling of my soul.

"I want you to stay." I breathed reaching for his hand. If it was possible he moved further from my side.

"No. I have to go home and make sure things are fine with my family."

I noticed the absence of my name. Normally it filled all conversations as if it was a warm ribbon wrapping around my heart. The absence of it set my heart to a quiver.

"You'll come by latter though, right?" I asked with little hope.

"I'm not sure that I'll be able to. Get some rest." He breathed as he chanced a glance at my face. Shaking his head he turned toward the window again as if it was a fascinating site.

"Sure." Slowly I pulled myself cell by cell out of the car, feeling the scent, and proximity slip out of my life with the Cullen's dropping. It was as if my movements filled Edwards resolve to remove himself from me. I crossed in front of the car and watched his eyes moving in the light. I wasn't sure which one of us was caving to what we had always know was inevitable.

Quietly I begged "Stay with me?" in an agonized question.

All I saw was the shake of a head that I knew he had slowed down to perfection for my eyes to register it. His car was moving before I could even turn around. I pulled my backpack up and walked toward the house praying for the world to swallow me. My body vibrated and the fever burning throughout my body gave way to an exhaustion I had never once felt. Entering the house I dropped my backpack at the door and waited for Charlie's questions.

"How'd it go Bell?" He asked in the safety of the den.

I answered positively in what must have been convincingly enough manner for no other answers were sought. Step by step I walked up the stairs my body shutting down more with each step. With the posture of a body caving I fell in free fall onto my bed fully dressed. I thought of opening the window as an invitation but honestly I knew that it was all for naught. I wrapped myself in my blankets and his smell filled my nose. I could feel the pressure of his body behind me as if it was a phantom limb. Exhaustion took over my feeble human senses and sleep over took my person.

All night I dreamed of pools of honey.