My dearest readers, tragedy has once again reared its ugly head in my life, and I felt that the only proper way to deal with it was to write. As some of you know, I play Pokémon. A lot. I have been playing since Christmas of 2008, when my parents bought me Diamond and Pearl. My Luxray was the second Pokemon I'd ever caught, but she's lasted over five years in my possession- being passed from game to game as the only Pokemon I've ever had to reach full potential at level 100 with maxed out stats.

Unfortunately, as I mentioned above, tragedy struck on July 30th. My Luxray- my favorite pokemon and strongest partner- was lost forever in Soul Silver due to a corrupted save file. I was, understandably, horrified and upset. I tried as hard as I could to find some way of salvaging my old friend, but there was nothing I could do. On July 30th, 2014, a good friend and strong ally was lost to this world and all worlds.

I wrote the following in memory of my partner, and hope that you will all sympathize with me on this day at the loss of my friend.

Thank you not only for reading, but for understanding. With love,

Otto-Chan

Rain pounded against the soft dirt path as I ran, a pokeball clutched tightly in one hand. "Come on . . ." I muttered to myself. "There has to be someone . . . There has to be . . ." I could barely hear anything over my own harsh breathing as I searched desperately for someone to help me. I couldn't even let myself think about the fact that no one would be out in a storm like this.

Briefly, I allowed myself some ability to think rationally and slowed to a stop under a tree. Still holding the pokeball, I dug through my bag and pulled out my pokegear. I accessed the Town Map, just to see if I was anywhere near a town or city with a Pokémon Center. To my relief, I spotted a town on the map not too far from where I was. Olivine City. If I remembered correctly, the Pokémon Center was very near the beach.

I quickly shoved the pokegear back into my bag and began to run again down the path. It wasn't more than ten minutes before I finally, finally, arrived in the city. I passed several people, probably nearly knocking at least a few down in the process in my haste to get to the Pokémon Center. As soon as I pushed through the doors and ran up to the counter, the resident Nurse Joy was on her feet. I'm sure she must have known something was wrong, because she grabbed the pokeball out of my hand almost as soon as she saw it.

"What happened?" She demanded and motioned for me to follow her.

This was when I finally realized just how panicked I was. I was completely at a loss for words. "I- . . . We- . . ." I tried to express to her exactly what had happened, but she simply shook her head at me.

"You can tell me once you've calmed down a bit and we've had a look at your . . .?

"Lu-xray." I replied brokenly. "Sh-she's a Luxray."

Joy nodded. "Alright." We stopped right outside a large set of doors with a big needle-shaped sign above them, and she handed my precious Pokémon off to a Chansey. She murmured something that seemed important to the pink Pokémon before it gave something of a salute and pushed through the doors.

For the couple of seconds that the doors were left hanging open, I could hear the wailing and whimpering of pained, sick Pokémon. Something inside me broke when I realized that my Luxray would be in just as much pain soon enough.

I suppose Joy must have noticed my desperate expression, because she placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Why don't you come sit with me for a bit while we wait for your Luxray?" She suggested, already beginning to guide me back to the waiting room. "I'd like to know what happened, if that's okay."

"Y-yeah . . ." I replied, nodding shakily.

We sat down in the comfy chairs in the sitting area, slightly away from where other trainers were waiting for their own partners. Joy jumped into the questioning almost as soon as we sat. "So, where did this happen? How far did you have to travel to make it here?"

"I'm not really sure . . ." I responded numbly, fiddling my hands together restlessly. "It took me almost a half hour, I think, until I stopped to check my map. It wasn't long after that when I got here."

"And what happened?" She asked. "Was it those Team Rocket thugs again?"

"No." This time my response was sharp- almost bitter. "It was a lot worse than that. My rival- some redheaded kid called Silver- challenged me. Usually he's pretty easy to beat, just because my Luxray is strong enough to take a few hits, but . . . I'm not sure why, but he was a lot stronger this time; a lot more violent . . ."

When I didn't try to continue, Joy took my hands in hers gently and prompted me to continue. "I sent out my Flareon first, but I think Luxray must have known something was wrong, because she just shoved Flareon back and got in the fight herself. It was like that through the whole battle. Whenever I tried to call her back, she ignored me and launched directly into an attack."

"She was great, though." I murmured, growing quieter as I went on. "She kept on trying to protect us through the whole thing. Even after the battle was over, and I was sure she couldn't keep standing, she backed up in front of me and growled at Silver until he left. I didn't realize how badly hurt she was until . . . until she collapsed. And that was when the storm started."

Joy simply looked at me for a short time before finally speaking up. "Your Luxray must be very brave." She commented quietly.

I smiled a bit at that. "She is. She's been my companion since . . . well, as long as I've had Pokémon. She's the strongest, and most protective, too."

"You must feel proud of her."

I paused for a second before responding. "I am, but . . ."

Nurse Joy gave me questioning look. "But, what?" She asked. "Your Luxray was protecting you. You could have been seriously injured without her help."

"I know," I replied a bit sharper than I meant to. "But . . . But what if she doesn't make it through the night? I saw her wounds- I know how hurt she was. I may have been too late getting her here . . ."

The Nurse looked at me with eyes I couldn't quite read. "You may be right. She was seriously injured. But I promise you, we will do all we can, and she did all she could to keep you from harm."

"You . . . You're right." I looked down at my hands. "We've been through worse. I'm sure she'll pull through just fine . . ."

I stood just outside of Pokémon tower shaking. I always got like this when I came to visit my old friend. Walking inside the tower, I took in the sympathetic glances of the regulars and the tearful gazes of the newcomers. I climbed the first flight of stairs to get to the floor I needed. Here, in the back left corner, lay the grave of my oldest friend- my Luxray.

As I leaned against the wall next to her grave, I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming sense of guilt. Luxray had survived through the night, as I thought she would- but the second night was far worse. In the middle of the night, after I had fallen asleep thinking she was in a stable condition, she took a turn for the worst and suffered what I can only imagine was a quick but painful end.

To this day, I still blame myself for the death of my friend- my oldest and fondest ally in this cruel world. I can still remember the feel of her fur as I cuddled next to her on cold nights, and the triumphant look in her eyes every time she won a battle. All I want is to see her one last time, or to hear her victorious roar again, but I know that can't happen.

So I visit this site once every month- just to feel like I'm close to her again- and carry on patiently until the day that we are inevitably able to see each other again.

Until then, Luxray . . . Until then . . .

. . . Rest in peace . . .