Author's Note: For the record, I know this isn't exactly how real courts go, but I wrote it like this anyway. Just a quick oneshot I though of the other day and decided to post so let me know what you think of it!
Disclaimer: I don't own any Sly Cooper characters, they belong to Sucker Punch.
Claimer: I own my character, Ramona Bandicoot and Judge Marsha Daniels.
Please rate and review and let me know what you think of the story! (: and I know I put this on just about every story I write but for information on Ramona, please read How They Met.
Guilty of Being Innocent
I gave a soft growl when the guard pushed me roughly into courtroom. The stands to both the left and right of me were filled with random strangers ready to see my fate fold out before me. For some reason, my case wasn't one of the high profile cases with the expensive lawyers and a jury but just a small case where the judge decided my fate. Similar to DUI cases, petty theft, and custody trials. I didn't mind not having a jury however, that meant I only had to convince one person, the judge. I was shoved into a chair on the defense side of the room and struggled against my handcuffs. Reality started sinking in as we waited for the judge to arrive. I had gotten myself into this situation by breaking into the police station to swipe some informational files on a local counterfeiting operation here in the city. Having a majority of the police station on my tail to arrest me, I was outnumbered one hundred to one. So, I was arrested and was now waiting for my trial to begin. Regardless of what rights I was 'entitled' to, I didn't have a lawyer and was forced to defend myself and would probably be found guilty.
I was roughly pulled up when the judge finally entered the room. I watched as the judge, whose name plate read Judge Marsha Daniels, took a seat so the trial could begin. Judge Daniels was a short, middle-aged female raccoon who had streaks of grey throughout her curled, chestnut hair. Her baggy judge outfit made her appear larger than she really was. With a huff, she placed her reading glasses on her snout and the trial began.
"Cooper," she barked, "stand!" I stood like I was told and looked at the woman in front of me.
"Mr. Cooper, where's your lawyer?" her voice was like ice and her eyes could pierce through metal.
"I don't have one, your Honor." I stated simply.
"So you're defending yourself?" her eyebrow raised and she brushed her hair from her reading glasses.
"Yes your Honor." I figured being polite could possibly score me some points here.
"Very well, how do you plead?"
"Guilty." She nodded and motioned me to sit.
I looked to my left and saw Carmelita sitting on the prosecuting side. She gave me a sideways glance and a smirk of victory. I sighed and listened to the prosecutions opening statement. They basically said that I was a lowdown, money grubbing, piece of filth thief who would rob you blind as soon as you turned your back. As their speech continued, I watched the judge. She didn't even look like she was paying attention to the prosecution. Instead, she was either looking around the room or to the bench she was seated at. Carmelita, the speaker for the opposing side, sat in her chair after she had finished talking and gave another smirk of victory. I couldn't blame her; she had been the one to put me in cuffs, the back of a police cruiser, and finally a prison cell. I also figured that the judge was someone who was high up in Interpol and would find me guilty no matter what.
"Mr. Cooper," the judge turned her attention to me, "do you have a statement prepared?"
"No, I don't. I thought I would be given a lawyer since I was read my rights, but I wasn't given one. And because of that, I don't have anything prepared for today." She nodded.
"Then may I assume your statement would be the opposite of what the Inspector said. Am I right?"
"That is correct."
"Very well, lets get this case started and finished." She shifted positions in her chair and spoke, "Prosecution, do you have and witnesses to call?"
"We do," Inspector Fox said as she stood, "we call the defendant Sly Cooper." I sighed and figured that's what would happen. I stood and did the usual proceedings of raising one paw and swearing to tell the truth and nothing but it. I sati in the stands and waited for the questioning to begin. And just as I expected, Carmelita would be the one asking all the questions. Judge Daniels turned to the two of us and waited for Carmelita to start questioning. The Inspector paced back and forth a few time in a moment of thought of dramatics; I wasn't sure which.
"I would like to end this trial today, Ms. Fox." The judge was getting impatient. Her opinion was the only one that mattered and I figured she wanted to get things over with, send me to jail, and get on with her day.
"I'm sorry," Carmelita muttered, "So, Mr. Cooper, is it true that you are a thief"
"Yes." I already knew I was doom and just wanted to get this over with.
"So what do you steal, exactly?"
"Well, that depends on the job. Sometimes it's paintings, or keys, or important artifacts. But it's also things to stop other thieves."
"Alright, do you steal from everyone?" she was getting more and more confident as the interview went on.
"No." I said simply.
"Then who do you steal from?"
"Other major thieves or criminals; I bring them down and then you arrest them. You should know that."
"Watch it Cooper." The judge muttered.
"Yes ma'am." I mumbled. Carmelita smirked.
"But you also steal from museums and other places, am I right?"
"Sometimes,"
"That's all, your Honor." Carmelita said proudly before returning to her seat. I was allowed to return to my own chair.
"Mr. Cooper, do you have any witnesses to call?"
"No your Honor." I sighed and waited for the verdict. The courtroom was silent as the judge gathered her papers and thoughts together.
"Alright," she started, "after hearing the opening statements and the very brief questioning from Ms. Fox, I have come to a very clear decision." She focused her attention to me and picked up her gavel, "Sly Cooper, I hereby find you to be guilty of being innocent and are free to go." She slammed her gavel down and the case was over.
"Bailiffs," the judge started, "please escort Mr. Cooper out please? Case dismissed." She stood and left her post. Murmuring started filing the room and Carmelita was in disbelief. She looked fro me to the judge who was almost out of the room and clutched her head in disbelief. I was stunned myself. That was a verdict that I had never heard of before. I was snapped out of my thoughts when the larger of the two bailiffs started to walk me from my seat to the entrance of the room. Once the three of us were alone in the halls, the sound of heels clicking against the linoleum floors filled my ears. The judge from my trial was walking next to us.
"I can't believe that worked! That has to be the most unbelievable I have ever heard of!" I immediately recognized it as Bentley's voice and things stated to fall into place. The judge pulled a small box from her neck, passed it to Bentley, and he pocketed the voice modulator as we walked. The female then pulled off the brown wig and allowed her natural black hair flow down and removed her glasses before speaking.
"You said make it original!" Ramona said through a laugh as Murray removed my handcuffs.
"And you wonder why we're rivals!" Bentley was always the one to worry. We paused and I watched Ramona open a supply closet and the removed the judge robes and tossed them over the legs of the real Judge Marsha Daniels who was handcuffed to a mop rack and had her mouth securely closed with tape and was displaying her anger by thrashing around. The also threw in the glasses and wig before shutting the door again before waltzing away.
"Then you'd better hurray and get your can started because it looks like they're on to us!" we heard the police yelling us and run towards us. We were told to freeze and we decided to split. Murray and Bentley branched off towards the parking lot while Ramona and I took a hard left.
"Not that I'm not grateful or anything," I said as we ran from the police, "but why did you help me?"
"Oh come on Sly, give me a break! You are my only competition and thieving is no fun without having some form of competition." She smiled and my eyebrows rose with a slight smile.
"That was a compliment!" she shouted as we reached the backside of the parking lot and branched away. I entered my van as Ramona got into her car. She zipped ahead of us as we were followed by police cars and an angry Inspector Fox. This had turned out to be a rather strange day but I would figure out a way to repay all three of them.