Dr. Sexy strode manfully down the hospital hall with a sexy swagger. All the nurses and doctors stared after him with dreamy sighs. "He's so sexy", they all said watching the sexy doctor swagger down the hall towards the exam room.
Picking up the patient's chart, Dr. Sexy made his way to the exam table. He gave his new patient a once-over, noting the man's incredible handsomeness, masculine build, and oodles of charisma.
"The name's Dane, Dane Lugar," the sexy patient said in a deep, manly voice, his sparkling green eyes sparkling at the sight of Dr. Sexy.
"Glad to meet you Dane," Dr. Sexy said in a voice almost as deep and manly as he shook Dane's hand with a manly grip.
"I'm happy to meet you too," Dane said, gazing into Dr. Sexy's cerulean orbs.
"You done yet? We're supposed to meet Cas by six o'clock." a rude, intrusive voice shouted, completely disrupting Dean's train of thought. Dean looked up to see his brother standing in the doorway.
"Cool your jets. I'm looking at tentacle porn," he yelled back. Sam made a bitchface before rapidly backing away.
Now where was I, Dean thought. Oh yeah, the exam room.
Dane and Dr. Sexy's conversation was rudely interrupted by an overgrown Sasquatch of a man. His freakishly tall body blocked the doorway. Dr. Sexy snapped, "I'm busy with a patient, get lost." The Sasquatch gave him a bitchface before stomping off in a huff.
"Sorry for the interruption," Dr. Sexy said smoothly. "Let's get back to the exam. Just put on this gown and lie back on the table." Dane happily followed his orders.
"Dean, we have to get going," Sam said from the hallway. "You better not be using my laptop for your . . . I don't wanna know."
Dean gritted his teeth. It looked like he was done for the day. Well, this should be enough to whet the appetite of the fans. He'd post this part and do another chapter tomorrow. Dean uploaded the fic to .com using his nom de plume, 67Impala, and happily anticipated for the glowing reviews from the legions of Dr. Sexy fans to come in.
Dean surreptitiously checked this account every few hours for the next several days to see if anyone had bothered to leave a comment. Much to his puzzlement, there were none. Why wasn't his excellent fic getting any reviews? There were at least twenty five inferior fics posted after his and they all had gotten multiple reviews within a couple of hours.
Finally he hit paydirt. There were three reviews on the site. Dean eagerly opened the first review, thrilled that his literary masterpiece was going to get the recognition that it deserved.
The first review was from someone named Samlicker89. To Dean's dismay, this moron didn't appreciate his subtle, nuanced characterization of Dane Lugar. No, he or she, Dean couldn't tell which, demanded to hear more about the Sasquatch, claiming that he was "super interesting, not like that boring Dane guy". He closed the review. Okay, so not everyone was a judge of good literature.
It was time to read the next one. Unfortunately, this one was even worse. KOH666 said, "Nice story luv. I truly enjoyed the homoerotic overtones. Are they going to consummate their relationship in chapter two? If so, I recommend astroglide."
Dean was shocked. Homoerotic overtones? Dane Lugar and Dr. Sexy were manly men. How could anyone who read the fic think that they were gay? Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it was obvious that Dane and Dr. Sexy were world-class pussyhounds.
Finally, the third review. This one was from Shotgunsnotgoingtoshuthiscakehole. It was a list of vicious criticism:
You used the word 'manly' a zillion times. Maybe you could borrow your brother's thesaurus to come up with some new adjectives.
"Dane's sparking eyes sparkled?" Again, try a thesaurus. Or better yet, cut the purple prose. The same goes for "cerulean orbs"; blue eyes works just as well.
Casual fan my ass. Now I know why we drove 1,200 miles to do a routine salt and burn next door to the hotel hosting Sexycon12 instead of calling in another hunter.
There's something called a beta reader, try one.
6'5" isn't freakishly tall. A little jealous, are we, shorty?
Dean slammed the laptop shut. They knew. He was never going to live this down. Maybe he could open another portal to Oz?