Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail.
Tuesdays are the worst. I know it's Monday that usually gets all the bad press as far as the days of the week are concerned, but I think it's just misunderstood. I mean, it's right after the weekend, so you've had a couple of days to relax and are as refreshed as you're ever going to be that week. Nothing is ever due on a Monday, so it's normally not stressful. Plus, you get to put together a whole weeks' worth of outfits. What's not to like? And while we're rating days of the week, I should add that Thursday is pretty great too. Wednesday reminds me of the Addams Family character, so let's say it's awesome. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday have their obvious appeal, but they're kind of like the slutty girls at parties that everyone is all over because they know that they can get some; although, Saturday is definitely the queen skank that let's everyone do whatever they want with her.
Tuesday, on the other hand, is that person; you know the one, the obnoxious drunk that apparently has racial tendencies when inebriated and wants to start a fight with someone because they looked at his girlfriend the wrong way even though she's not at the party. Yes, that person. I mean, let's be honest, it's in the middle of the week, but not far enough in the middle to be able to say 'we're over halfway done' like you can with Wednesday. No, its' placement is exactly where you can remind yourself that you still have four more days until the weekend, and that nice little refresher you had from the last one is starting to wear off. It's almost taunting. Stock markets crash on Tuesdays. Ships sink on Tuesdays. People die on Tuesdays, like my mom, but that's not why I hate it; I hate Tuesday because it's a heartless bitch.
However, whatever problems I with Tuesday had to be set aside, at least for now. I was being summoned, meaning that my friend had sent a text asking to meet her at a bar. I could only assume it was sent to all the regulars, because my phone was still beeping every few minutes with responses. Either that or it was submissions to the selfie war that started a few hours ago. Sighing, I turned my phone on silent to stop the constant alerts, because I got too excited every time it happened. Like, 'oh my gosh, I got a text,' and then I realize it doesn't pertain to me in any way. It's the same type of disappointment that happens when you send yourself an email, see it in your inbox, and exclaim 'oh, an email!' only to remember that you just sent it to yourself. It's the worst.
"Careful, Miss." A fisherman called out to me, distracting me from my thoughts. I stumbled slightly at the sound, and he made some sort of strange noise at this. No doubt, he was worried that I was about to fall into the canal that I was walking along. I quickly caught myself though and gave the man a polite wave.
"I'm fine. Thanks!" I replied, but to be honest, I was thinking about how I wouldn't have faltered if he hadn't distracted me; after all, I walked this route almost daily. I couldn't really blame him though; he was just looking out for me, so I threw him a grin before continuing.
My heels clanked loudly against the pavement as I walked, and the orangey light of the summer, evening sun peeked above the buildings, silhouetting the street lamps. This deep contrast actually allowed me to spot my destination quickly, and a faint glow soon made its' way into my field of vision. As I neared it, I felt waves of familiarity rush over me, and before long, I was staring straight up at the characteristic, neon sign. Its' text spelled out 'Fairy Tail,' and I took a few moments to admire the sign and the nostalgia before entering the heavy, wooden doors. I hadn't been here since the beginning of the semester a few weeks ago, so it was safe to say that it had been far too long. Walking in, I could immediately tell that the bar was entirely the same; that is, the tables were carved out with years of initials and curse words, the broken speaker produced that familiar humming sound, and that distinctive, oaky smell seemed to emanate from the walls. At the same time, however, it was completely different; it was quiet—well, quieter. Fairy Tail had a reputation for being one of the rowdiest bars in Magnolia; in fact, most of the town locals had a tendency to avoid it, but it was a popular spot for college students. This quietness then was understandably disturbing. I guess I couldn't expect much from a Tuesday.
A few steps further, and my brooding on days of the weeks was brought to an abrupt halt. A few of the regulars at the bar had spotted me, and they proceeded to greet me with an assault of rather violent hugs. My favorite kind. I was passed around from a dark haired Warren to a lighter haired Max to a hulking man who proceeded to crush me.
"Lucy! Good to see you!" He greeted, squeezing me further into his chest, and it appeared that the term 'bear hug' was coined specifically for him. I had to admit though; this hug was significantly more pleasant than others he'd given me. Maybe it had something to do with the soft, cotton apron he was wearing.
"Elfman—Hi-"
"Hey sexy." Cana said seductively, pulling me away from Elfman, and embracing me rather suggestively; of course, she was already drunk. Her long, brown hair was pressed into my face, and some of it made its way into my mouth. I tried to spit it out, but Cana seemed to see this as an invitation to grope me.
"Easy girl." A nearby Bickslow laughed, successfully prying me away from her, and I took my chance to leave that area. I knew Cana well enough to be sure that her drunk, lesbian tendencies toward me would last most of the night, and the others would continue to pass me around like I was some sort of share bear they could project their emotions onto. Stealthily, I made my way across the bar towards the corner table, and even from here, I could see that there was already a large stack of books piled across it. A lone cocktail stood out on the edge of the table, untouched. I shook my head as I sat in the booth, because it was just like her to study at a bar.
"Lucy!" A head of blue hair peeked over the books, and its owner quickly gathered them up into her bag. It was a few moments before her petite figure was visible.
"Hey Levy!"
"Guess what?" She squealed, playing with the orange sleeves of her dress, and I could tell she was just bursting to tell me.
"You're pregnant. One of your professors is the father. You need an abortion." I gasped. "I can't do it, Levy. I don't know my way around a coat hanger—"
"Professor Babasaama offered me an intership." She grinned, completely ignoring my hilarious comment. "I'm going to study Indo-Aryan languages all summer!"
"Oh my God, Levy. That's great!" I said enthusiastically, and I genuinely meant it. I threw myself across the table to hug her, which earned me a laugh, and I was honestly surprised that I didn't knock over her drink. I mean, it wasn't like I was aiming for it or anything, but still.
This was a big deal. Levy was part of the Linguistics department at Magnolia University, and it was surprisingly cutthroat; in fact, it was just last year the she was part of a pair of students who were framed for destroying a manuscript from 400 years ago that the school had on loan. She and the other student, who was a history major no less, had to work for weeks to clear their names. Yep, Levy got all Nancy Drew; however, both found that they still had to rebuild their reputations within their respective departments, so Levy's professor asking her to intern means that all her hard work is finally paying off. A small part of me—a selfish part—wanted to focus on how this would compare to my summer watching Netflix and dating a string of douchebags, but I quickly shot that down. This was Levy's moment after all.
"You're going to get tan and run off with a sexy, Indian man, aren't you?"
"I'll try not to this time," She laughed, "But you know how I love to bronze up and run off with foreign men."
"Do it, Levy! For all of us." I said dramatically.
"I honestly would, but I sunburn."
"And don't forget about Gajeel." I teased.
"You're right. Even if he's not there he'll scare off any foreign guy I meet. It's like they can smell him on me." She huffed, and her face expressed annoyance. I knew, however, that she really enjoyed Gajeel's company, even if she never admitted it. Maybe I should explain. Gajeel was the history major that was framed alongside Levy. Isn't that a great 'how we met' story? Anyways, I guess all the time they spent together made them somewhat romantically inclined. I mean, they were pretty much a couple, but neither of them wanted to admit that they were officially together. So now they're stuck in this weird relationship limbo, where they pretend to not care about each other, but secretly do. It's kind of like single mothers who insist that nothing is going on with "Uncle Jack" or whatever.
"At least you have the option to get some." I mused, and she promptly threw me a death glare, "Seriously, if you can't have your sexy, foreign man, go for the giant guy with piercings who's always around."
"He hasn't even tried to get past first base."
"Isn't first base, like, missionary sex?"
"No! First base is making out." Levy exclaimed.
"Oh, you're still on that. We're in college, Levy. We use big girl bases now."
"Oh please, stop acting so experienced. You've had the same number of sexual partners as I've had."
"Well, that depends. Is your number still zero?" I asked.
"Yeah."
"Okay, then yes, that's true." I admitted, "But I have more experience in other areas, and that directly translates to knowledge of the base system—And, oh my gosh, delayed reaction! Gajeel kissed you!"
"Well," She blushed, "I kind of kissed him."
"Whoa, Miss McGarden, did you ask him first? 'Gajeel, sir, may I kiss you?'" I laughed. Levy was the most innocent friend I had. She hadn't even gotten past second base, and not college girl second base, above the waist second base.
"Oh, shut up."
"I'm kidding. How was it?"
"Nice." She smiled. "Very nice."
"And here I thought you two were 'just friends.'"
"We are—We were drunk each time-"
"Each time?!"
"It was only a handful of times." She clarified, "Maybe two handfuls."
I laughed, "So tell me all the details."
"I don't know. It's a lot of details this sober, Lucy."
"I'll get us some drinks then, and return this." I said, grabbing the untouched cocktail, which had separated. Gross.
"Oh, Mira's not here." Levy explained, referring to the resident bar maid of Fairy Tail, "That's why my drink is messed up."
"What do you mean? She's the one who texted us all to meet her here."
"I know. I've been here since I got out of school, and I haven't seen her."
"So who's—Elfman." I said, answering my own question as I glanced over at the bar. That explains the apron.
"Yeah, I say we wait it out."
"Agreed." I sighed. Tuesdays. "So internship?"
"Internship." Levy repeated, "We'll be in India for two weeks and then Sri Lanka for one. I'm so happy. I've been doing so much volunteer work within the department, and I offered to tutor after hours—It's just all paying off."
She continued to talk about this for a while, giving me a play by play of her plans. She even took the time to describe the phonology and characteristics of Indo-Aryan languages. Usually, she just glazed over this, but she was obviously bubbling with excitement.
"That's so awesome, Levy." I said warmly, "And here I've been watching tela novelas all day."
"Sounds pretty good to me."
"You know, it was." I said honestly; although, it didn't detract from my feelings of underachievement.
"Natsu says I should get a hobby."
"He's probably just hoping you'll commit arson with him or start a fight club or something." Levy snorted. Natsu, my best friend, was a particularly rowdy regular at Fairy Tail, and his tendency towards pyromania got him the nickname 'Salamander;' however, I called him 'Little Orphan Annie.' That was his name in my phone at least. You see, we're friends because we both know what it's like to have dead parents. We actually met at a cemetery. He walked up to me and told me a joke. He said 'You know, people are dying to get in here.' Can you believe that? Telling a joke in a cemetery- well—it's just bad taste. I laughed though, so that probably says more about me than anything.
"We've already done those things." I sighed, "And apparently making out isn't considered a hobby."
"Yeah, it's too bad you can't go pro in that." Levy said sarcastically.
"Right? I'm a great kisser, ya know?"
"Oh, I know." Levy laughed, no doubt, recalling my habit to kiss random people when I'm drunk; she had been the victim of this on her nineteenth birthday. "Anyways, I think Natsu would consider that to be an acceptable hobby if you did it with him."
"Well, of course; look at me."'
"Seriously Lucy, I'm actually surprised he's never been one of your 'flavors of the week.'"
"God, you make me sound like such a tramp; they're biweekly if anything."
"They're like paychecks." Levy laughed. She often exaggerated my exploits with men, but I guess in comparison, she was saint like. I was the closest to slutty she was going to get, "Natsu can be a paycheck."
"Me and Natsu are just friends." I repeated. This came up so often I must sound like a broken record.
"Like me and Gajeel?"
"No, that's different. Look, any possible romantic connections between established friendships can be analyzed using the Rachel/Ross Measure, also known as the Will They/ Won't They Scale in parts of Europe. You see, for two people to become more than friends, the level of physical attraction for both parties needs to exceed the amount of platonic feelings experienced within the friendship. The When Harry Met Sally diagonal emphasizes this fact. As the level of platonic feelings increases, the friendship moves below this diagonal, and this suggests that there is little chance for a romantic relationship; whereas, when the physical attraction increases, the friendship moves above the diagonal, and a romantic relationship may now be pursued. Also, people using this scale need to beware the friend zone effect; wherein, only one party crosses the When Harry Met Sally diagonal, and they are left to pine for the other person. Equally disastrous is the sprung zone; wherein, physical attraction beats out platonic feelings, but there's no real relationship. This is better known as fuck buddies. Understand?"
The look on her face told me that she didn't understand, or she thought I was crazy.
"Your face will stick that way if you hold it for too long." Erza interrupted. She sat down gracefully next to Levy, and her flowing red hair seemed to have its own personal wind cloud that ensured it constantly looked like an Herbal Essence commercial.
"Lucy was telling me something about platonic feelings and romantic comedies—I think-"
"The Rachel/ Ross Measure?"
"How do you know about that?"
"Lucy enlightened me when Jellal moved here." Erza explained. She and Jellal had gone to high school together, and they shared a long and complicated history that was never fully explained to the rest of us.
"See, Levy, you should listen to me." I grinned.
"That's the one where it only matters if the person is hot, right?" Erza asked, and my grin quickly faded.
"Pretty much." Levy laughed, "She was using it to explain her relationship with Natsu."
"Well, it's good you finally admit you like him, but I though you told me to beware the friend zone." Erza said. I gave her an incredulous look. That was good.
"Oh my gosh!"
"I don't like Natsu; we're just friends. Best friends, sure, but he's like my gay BFF—my heterosexual and/or homosexual BFF-"
"Don't let Natsu hear you say that." Erza warned.
"Hear you say what?" Natsu asked, standing before the table with two beer mugs. He placed one in front of me, and he held onto the other as he climbed over me to sit in the inner booth. I had to admit that this was mildly impressive, but he could've asked me to scoot.
"She called you her heterosexual and/or homosexual BFF." Levy explained.
"I told you to stop callin' me that."
"I was just explaining the parameters of our relationship." I said, ruffling his spiky, pink hair.
"The Will they/ Won't they Scale?" Natsu groaned.
"It's the Rachel/ Ross Measure now."
"Oh, it's evolved." He said sarcastically, "Does it still only matter if a person's hot?"
"Hey, you guys are lucky to have someone so knowledgeable around to guide you." I stated. "Without me, your lives would be a wreak."
Natsu snorted, "Is it easy to be that sure of yourself?"
"It'd be a lot easier without you bringing me down." I answered, and I'm proud to say he laughed at this, even though it looked like he was trying not to.
"Brat."
"Whatever. You think I'm adorable."
"I don't know about that." He grinned, causing Erza and Levy to laugh.
"Burn!" Levy said enthusiastically, high-fiving Natsu across the table.
"You live for this, don't you?" I asked Levy who grinned sheepishly. "And a good heterosexual and/or homosexual BFF would say I'm adorable."
"All the more reason for me not to say it."
"C'mon, Natsu!"
"I swear, Lucy, you need at least twenty compliments a day to live." He chuckled. "You're more maintenance than a pet hamster."
"A hamster?!" I squeaked, keeping a straight face for a few moments before we both erupted into laughter.
"Yes, I'd say you're somewhere between hamsters and intelligent birds." Erza said seriously, causing us to laugh even harder, and Levy burst into a fit of giggles.
Our laughter was soon interrupted by a commotion at the entrance, where the man—or should I say woman—of the hour appeared. Mira was standing in the doorway, her long, silver hair and the glow from street lamps outside worked to make her look extra ethereal tonight. It was only a few moments before the bar patrons bombarded her with questions like 'Where were you?' and 'Why are we here?' and 'Elfman ruined my drink.' Well, that last one may not have been a question. To her credit, she easily brushed them off and walked gracefully behind the bar. Once she started making drinks Fairy Tail finally gained back some of its normality. It was at this point that I realized most of the regulars had arrived, and I was surprised that I hadn't noticed the bar quickly filling up. More so, I wondered why Mira texted us here. We hadn't been summoned like this in months. Erza and Levy seemed to feel the same way, as they both wore looks of confusion. Natsu, on the other hand, simply grinned at me.
"A hamster!" He blurted out, mimicking my voice when I had said it, and the laughter started all over again; although, it lasted much longer. Even Erza was chuckling.