A/N – Somebody out there was determined that I shouldn't watch this episode. But, like a true fan girl I was determined. After acquiring the episode from my usual source I was horrified to find I only had audio. Fortunately a good friend had sent me a link which I was able to watch... until we reached 94% of the way through and it died. So it was back to the audio for the final few minutes.

But it was enough for inspiration to strike. So here it is. My first post ep of season 5. MAJOR SPOILERS!!! Please do watch the episode before you read this.

Thanks to MickeyBoggs for checking this one over. I'm keeping her busy this week!

Disclaimer – Not mine. They are simply my muse.

Enjoy

My first case back should have been everything I'd looked forward to for six long weeks. My first venture into in to the field. My first case together again with Bones. Exactly how it should be.

We failed.

Yeah, sure, Caroline was there to pick up the pieces, fixing it so there were enough federal offenses to put him away for a very long time. But the real crime, the heartless murder of the twelve Harbingers remains unpunished. We made a compromise.

I could see the disappointment in Bones. She might say that the outcome of this case was satisfactory. That justice prevailed, and Tom Fargood will spend the rest of his years paying for his crimes. But in her mind it was not the conclusion that should fit the hypothesis. And in the eyes of science that simply isn't good enough.

It isn't good enough payback in my eyes either, for the injury Bones sustained from that damned Doctor. The one I shot dead because I had to. Holding her then, with Bones' blood seeping onto me, it scared me. It always scares me. And I think back and ask myself, when Bones is hurt, who pays the price? Have any of her assailants ever answered to the Justice system? Or do they only ever answer to Seeley Joseph Booth?

Sweets assures me that I don't love her because science tells him so. Bones would agree wholeheartedly.

"Before your operation you were not in love. After your operation you were.

Conclusion; your feelings are not real and will fade away like every other symptom of your coma."

Avalon assures me that I do, because the spirits tell her so. I believe that there are far more things in Heaven and Earth than we can know.

"It's all in the cards, Agent Booth. You can't argue with what's in the cards....

You never lost anything in that coma, Agent Booth. You gained something."

Psychologist or Psychic? There is no in-between. I either love her or I don't.

Bones showed me that, in some ways, I am not the same person I was before. Not yet anyhow. There are aspects of my personality which seem natural but are alien to her. Am I still so different? It doesn't feel that way to me.

That place that I went to, in my dream, in my coma; we were happy.

But the truth is that even if we were linked in a profound and spiritual manner, it wasn't real. It was a fantasy. A glimmer of another path.

'Be sure of your feelings," Cam told me. Am I really prepared to take the risk of a love that may fade over time? I thought I was. But that look, in that split second she took, processing my words, I knew.

I knew that she wasn't ready. And it will take time. So I said some things to diffuse the situation.

Sometime you have to settle for the second best situation. That's what I have to do. And that will be the hardest part. Because I know the truth of Bones. And I am dazzled by her.

Even if I can't tell her I love her in the way that I want to, I can still love her.

And that is my compromise.