The sun had settled on the horizon, slowly deepening into a gentle orange glow. The color spread across the sky like a wildfire, washing out the deep blue that it had previously been. The luminous blends of oranges and reds bled into the empty green landscape; Fionna and Cake were having a picnic there and sat watching the scenery quietly, contemplating the day of adventuring they had.
Eventually, Cake spoke up. "Hey Fi, it's Couples Only Movie Night tonight. Who are you bringing?"
"I don't know," Fionna shrugged. "Who are you bringing?"
"I'm bringing my boyfriend, girl," Cake said, as if it were obvious.
"Oh…" Fionna trailed off. She didn't have anyone to bring to the movie night, and she was a little unsure of what she would do. But as she gazed out across the field, she caught sight of a white goose bathed in the warm glow of the dozing sun. As it came closer, she picked it up and held it in her arms. "I'll take this goose."
"It's Couples Night," Cake reminded her. "You have to bring somebody you can smooch."
"Aw man, I don't want to be smooched!" Fionna protested.
"You don't have to smooch," Cake clarified. "You just gotta bring somebody you can smooch. It's the rules, girl."
"That's lame," Fionna mumbled. She curiously turned to the goose, then leaned in slowly and puckered her lips, trying to kiss it. But the goose freaked out and honked loudly, flailing with its wings until Fionna let go of it, then it flew away. Fionna stood up and contemplated for a moment, then picked up the checkered blanket the duo had been sitting on. "I'll take this blanket!" she announced, bringing the corner of the blanket to her face and kissing it tenderly.
"Put that blanket down," Cake ordered. Fionna obeyed, dropping the blanket back onto the grass, "Why don't you have a seat? I feel I gotta explain some… 'things' to you about couples."
After a small pep talk from Cake, the duo headed back to their tree house. With the knowledge Cake bestowed upon Fionna, she felt more confident about who she was going to bring to the movie night. She picked up the phone and began dialing.
"So, who are you gonna call?" Cake asked curiously.
"I'm gonna call a guy I don't have to kiss," Fionna decided, her speed dial landing on Prince Gumball's number. She called the number and awaited a response.
"Hello?" Gumball's deep voice ringing from the other end.
"Hi Prince Gumball," Fionna greeted. "I was wondering if you'd like to go to Couples Only Movie Night with me."
"Sounds romantic," Gumball said in a deeper, more seductive tone.
Fionna blushed. "What? No! I was just wondering if you'd wanna go with me."
Gumball chuckled. "Sorry, Fionna, but I'm busy practicing for the Kazoo Choir Death Match Championships."
"But—"
"Au Revoir!" Gumball said before hanging up.
Fionna sulked, putting down the phone. "He doesn't want to go."
"Sure he does," Cake assured. "He just needs to realize just how much he wants to go to the movies with you. This won't be the first time you two lovebirds were on a date." Cake smirked teasingly.
"That was the Ice Queen!" Fionna shouted, blushing.
"Whatever you say," Cake said. She picked up the other phone which had headphones attached. "I'm calling Marshall Lee."
"What?" Fionna asked, clueless as to what her friend was planning.
"Trust me, Fi," Cake said. "I've been learning quite a bit about vampires recently. I've found that my utter fear for them was based on ignorance."
"Speak," Marshall's voice growled through the phone.
"Marshall," Cake started. "We've got a favor to ask, honey bun. We gotta make Price Gumball jealous so he'll go to the movies with Fionna."
A click sounded from the other end and all noises were cut. It sounded like Marshall had hung up.
"Marshall? Hello?" Cake called. "Are you still there?"
Marshall snuck up behind Cake and hissed loudly, causing her to shriek in fear and her tail to fluff out. Cake was frozen in shock as Fionna took notice of her vampire friend. He was dressed a bit differently, sporting a grey version of his plaid flannel shirt and black jeans, topped off with a pair of bluish grey cowboy boots. His hair was shaven into a shaggy mohawk.
"So, will you help us?" Fionna asked hopefully.
Marshall floated over to the couch in which Fionna sat and landed softly on the arm of it. "Yeah, I'll help out. It'll be hilarious."
The trio ventured to the Candy Kingdom and hid beneath Gumball's room on one side of the castle. It was there that Cake devised a plan to get the prince's attention.
"Okay, here's what's gonna happen," she started. "Marshall, you start saying things. And Fi, you start laughing way loud. And Gumball…" She gestured upward into the window to Gumball's room, where he was blowing notes into a kazoo. "…will get jealous of Marshall, which will awaken his Fionna love! Marshall, start us off, baby."
"Hmm," Marshall breathed. This wasn't exactly the plan he had in mind, and he was at a loss as to how to start things off. "Umm…giddyup?"
Fionna burst into a fit of fake laughter. Marshall then decided that it didn't matter what he said; Gumball just needed to hear Fionna laughing.
"Diggy diggy!" he said, making Fionna laugh harder. It wasn't long before they caught the attention of Prince Gumball.
"Salutations, Fionna," he greeted affectionately. He turned his attention to Marshall, less enthusiastic. "Hey, Marshall Lee."
"Hello, Bubba!" Marshall chimed.
"Yeah, yeah," Gumball growled. He decided he had had enough of the vampire and turned back to Fionna, chiming: "So, Fionna, what's so funny?"
"I…uh…" Fionna stammered. She hadn't had enough time to come up with a decent alibi. "It's…something…"
"Well…could you please keep it down?" Gumball asked. "I'm trying to practice my kazoo." And with that, he picked up his kazoo and resumed playing it, disappearing from the window.
"That was great!" Cake praised. "Now, we begin phase two. It's gonna be powerful. You two wait here." Cake then wandered off, giddy and giggling to herself and leaving her friends clueless as to what she was planning.
Marshall turned to Fionna, eager to try out his own plan. "Fionna, look, I know Cake is your friend and all, but if you want Gumball to go to the movies with you, you gotta stop listening to your cat and take some advice from a real guy."
"But Cake said that phase two was powerful!" Fionna protested.
Marshall scoffed. "How is Cake gonna know what guys want more than a real guy?"
"Yeah…" Fionna sighed. Marshall did have a point, so maybe he could offer more help. Night had fallen, and the movie was only a short time away.
"Excellent!" Marshall chimed. "So, what we need now is something…extreme. Guys love extreme activities more than anything. We love the adrenaline rush. If you can show Gumball that you're extreme, he'll surely want to go to the movies with you. Can you think of something extreme?"
"Hmm…" Fionna thought for a moment. "I do like to wrestle! I love going on adventures and fighting savage beasts!"
"Perfect!" Marshall said. "All you gotta do is get in there and wrestle Prince Gumball and sow him how extreme you are."
Fionna started toward the castle, getting pumped for what she was about to do. But Cake appeared and called after her.
"Fionna! Where are you going, girl? Check this out!" Cake held up a bouquet of flowers and a neatly folded white dress that she had found and carried back with her.
"What is that stuff?" Fionna asked wearily.
"A dress and flowers!" Cake proclaimed proudly. "Guys love it. Trust me."
Fionna sighed. She put on the dress and held the bouquet of flowers, then made her way into the castle. Cake followed close behind, disguised as a chair. Just as Fionna was feeling uncomfortable about approaching Gumball in a dress and handing him flowers, Marshall realized what was going on and, having followed the duo into the castle, stopped Fionna before she could make it any further.
"Fionna!" Marshall called, floating over to her. "You're wearing a dress? That is crazy, son!"
"Face it, Marshall!" Cake said, still in chair form. "She looks adorable in it."
"But it's going to ruin my plan," Marshall protested.
"You're plan!" Cake barked. "Fi, what's he talking about?"
Fionna looked down, too nervous and somewhat ashamed to look either of her friends in the eyes, Her hands nervously began wringing the stems of the flowers. "Well…" I was kinda gonna give Marshall's plan a try."
"What's wrong with my idea?" Cake demanded.
The sound of kazoo playing frightened the trio. Cake stilled herself and continued to pose as a chair, while Marshall transformed into a bat and flew away. As Gumball came closer, Fionna stood there frozen as he caught notice of her, and she felt extremely awkward.
"Oh hello, Fionna!" he chimed. "Did you find some…my, you look beautiful in that dress. What is the occasion?"
"Um…well…" Fionna glanced back at Cake for help. She gestured for her to give the bouquet to Gumball. "I have a bouquet of flowers for you."
"Oh, that's sweet," he complimented, taking the flowers. "But if you don't mind, I still need to preactice my kazoo."
"Psst!" Marshall hissed, catching Fionna's attention.
Fionna glancd up at the tiny bat hidden in the ceiling, which told her with gestures to wrestle the prince.
"Oh, yeah!" Fionna remembered. She turned back to Gumball. "So…" Without another word, she lunged for Gumball and knocked him to the ground, sending the flowers flying. She began wrestling him, bringing him into a headlock.
Gumball freaked out, completely thrown off-guard. It took him a moment to figure out what was happening, and even when he realized that Fionna was indeed attacking him, it took him a moment of shock before he could figure out what to do. He didn't know what had prompted Fionna to act so ferociously, or so suddenly.
"Guards!" he called. His guards showed up in the nick of time and hauled Fionna off of him, then threw her out of the castle door.
As Fionna lay dazed on the ground, Cake and Marshall managed to catch up with her. Marshall transformed back to normal and was the first to speak up.
"The dress is a silly idea," he said.
"Silly!" Cake defied. "Ha! Can you believe this guy, Fi?"
"Um…" Fionna rubbed the back of her head, not knowing how to break the news to her best friend. "Well…I guess the dress was…a little weird."
"Well fine then! You can just give it back to me!" Cake sneered, growing angry. She couldn't believe that her friend was choosing the vampire's advice over hers.
"Sorry," Fionna mumbled as she pulled the dress over her head and off of her.
"Yeah, yeah," Cake growled. "Good luck getting into that movie without my help." She picked up the dress and growled cat-like as she stormed away, disappearing into the night.
"Man, she seems ticked," Marshall observed.
"Nah, she just needs some catnip," Fionna shrugged.
Marshall was expressionless. "Oh, okay." Suddenly, he perked up. "Well, listen, I've got a new plan."
"Really?" Fionna asked, hopeful.
"Men love extreme things, right?" he started. "Well, we love extreme things because they give us an adrenaline rush. Gumball needs to feel that adrenaline pumping, dude. He needs…to be chased by wolves!"
"Like…metaphorically?" Fionna hesitated. She couldn't imagine that Marshall possibly meant actually sending wolves after Prince Gumball.
Marshall chuckled. "Come on. I'll show you how to really impress a guy." He grabbed Fionna's hands and placed them on his shoulder and around his waist, then crouched and prepared for takeoff. "Are you ready?"
"Umm…" Fionna tightened her grip on Marshall, nearly strangling him until she felt safely attached to him. She nodded and he took off.
As the duo became airborne, it didn't take them long to come across a wild pack of vicious-looking wolves. Marshall swooped downward as Fionna struggled to keep a grip on him, but he flew low to the ground and Fionna let go of him right before he touched the scraggly short grass and began running on all fours. Fionna ran along with him, but on two legs, as it was easier. Suddenly, Marshall ran ahead so that he was in front of Fionna, then her emitted a low growl and skidded to the side, turning to her. He hissed and spat and barked savagely like a wolf, scaring Fionna to the point in which she was shivering. But soon, she understood that Marshall wanted her to act like a wolf and she joined him, growling and barking as they caught up to the real wolves. They stopped at the edge of the cliff and followed the wolves as they howled to the enormous, bright full moon.
Suddenly, Marshall chomped down on one wolf, digging his sharp teeth into its fur. Hesitantly but staying in character, Fionna did the same. As much as she hated the disgusting taste of wolf fur in her mouth, she couldn't back down now. The other wolves had joined in, biting and snapping at them as well as the other wolves. Soon, Fionna and Marshall had overtaken the pack and sent them back toward the Candy Kingdom. Marshall began levitating with a wolf under one arm and grabbed Fionna with his other arm. Fionna in turn held onto her friend with one arm and held a second wolf with her free arm. Marshall struggled under the weight of all three of them, but he managed to fly upward and carry them all into Gumball's castle.
Fionna and Marshall sat just outside Gumball's room, tightly holding the flailing, foaming, snapping wolves. They smirked eagerly at each other and Marshall reached for the door handle.
"Shh," he ordered. "He's probably asleep."
He opened the door and the duo set the wolves clambering into the bedroom. FIonna shut the door and sat beside Marshall, whispering: "This was an awesome idea."
Marshall morphed back into a bat and flew back toward the ceiling, saying: "Now don't blow it this time."
"Okay," she promised.
Just then, Prince Gumball shrieked and burst out of his bedroom in his night clothes, slamming the door before the wolves could come any further. He saw Fionna sitting outside his door and was slightly relieved. "Fionna! Thank goodness you're here! There are wolves in my room!"
"I know," Fionna explained. "I put them there."
"YOU WHAT!" Gumball shouted.
"Pretty extreme, right?"
Before Fionna knew it, she was once again tossed out of the castle. But this time, Gumball accompanied her to tell her the bad news.
"I am sorry to do this to you, Fionna," he said. "But until you stop acting like a psychotic beast, you are forbidden from entering the Candy Kingdom. Farewell." Without another word, he and the guards disappeared into the castle, and the gate fell over the door.
Fionna felt as if she had been crushed. Tears formed in her eyes, and her heart felt like a thousand pound weight. Sniffling and shivering, she slowly walked out of the Candy Kingdom and headed home.
"I don't understand, Marshall," she said, the tears in her eyes having fallen. Marshall had a comforting arm around her, trying to get her to stop crying. "I've tried everything. I guess…I guess he just doesn't like me." She broke into a quiet sobbing fit, but Marshall quickly shushed her, not liking having a crying girl on his hands.
"Oh come on, Fionna," he sighed, trying to comfort her. "An uptight pansy like Bubba? You'd be bored with him in a week. I, for one, think you're fantastic." Without really thinking about it, Marshall leaned in and kissed Fionna softly on the cheek, erasing her tears. Fionna squeaked and looked away, but Marshall could tell that she was probably feeling a bit better. He decided that his work was done for the night and got up to leave. "Sorry it didn't work out the way you wanted. See you later."
"Wait a minute…" Fionna whispered, rubbing her cheek where Marshall had kissed her. "Of course!"
Suddenly, Cake appeared from a hatch in the ground and spotted Fionna. "Hey, girl," she said, glumly. "I've been looking for you. Sorry for acting stupid before. I've got some catnip, if you want it."
"No thanks," Fionna said quickly. "But I really need your help."
"'Bout time!" Cake exclaimed.
…..…
Marshall grabbed his bass guitar and set up his amplifier, ready to rock out. He had been thinking about Fionna's dilemma, and sort of wondered if she had figured anything out for the movie night. He decided that she didn't need him anymore, though, and decided to wipe it from his mind. But just as he was about to strike the first note, he heard a familiar voice call his name.
"Marshall! Are you there?"
The voice sounded like it was coming from the window. Marshall glanced out into his front yard and saw Fionna standing there in her white dress holding a new bouquet of flowers. "Uh-oh," he mumbled.
"Marshall! I have some flowers for you!"
Marshall sighed, then opened the door and allowed Fionna to enter his home. But he was less than enthusiastic about where this was going. "Fionna, we need to talk."
Fionna set the flowers onto a nearby coffee table and stood before Marshall. "Your escort is here."
"Fionna, trust me. You don't want to go down that road with me," Marshall moaned.
"For you, my lord, I would walk down any road with you," Fionna said smoothly, taking hold of Marshall's hands. "Especially if it leads to the movies."
"Oh, really?" Marshall challenged, yanking himself from Fionna's grip "Would you want to go to the movies…WITH THIS?"
Suddenly, Marshall turned completely black and grew to gargantuan size. His body morphed into a giant, hideous, tar-colored tentacle monster. He laughed maniacally and grabbed Fionna, coiling her with one of his many tentacles. "WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME NOW!"
"How do you like your popcorn?" Fionna asked, nonchalant.
Marshall hissed loudly as he shifted back into his normal form, but continued to hold Fionna forcefully. "You're starting to annoy me!"
"Then let's do something exciting," Fionna suggested. "Like go to the movies!"
Marshall growled and flung Fionna onto the couch, then floated down and sat beside her, enraged and practically ready to attack her at any moment. "Listen, Fionna! I like you, but not that way!"
Fionna sighed and sulked into the couch, visibly ready to cry again.
"I'm sorry, Fionna," he said quickly, not wanting to have to deal with that again. "I just don't want to date you."
Fionna glanced at Marshall and raised an eyebrow. "Date me? I just want to go to the movies. But everyone seems to hate me."
"Wait…" Everything was beginning to make sense to Marshall. "So, you don't want me to be your boyfriend?"
"What? Ew!" Fionna barked. "Movies, bro!"
"If you don't want a boyfriend, then why were you romancing it up all day?" Marshall asked, confused but relieved.
"Well, Cake said that couples nights have kissing requirements and romance initiation rituals," Fionna explained.
"Uh…I didn't really…say all that…" Cake stammered, hiding behind her tail.
"Of course I'll go with you, Fionna," Marshall said.
"You will?" Fionna perked up.
"Well, yeah," he replied. "As friends."
"Of course as friends!" Fionna chimed.
Marshall frowned. "But no tongue."
"What?" Fionna's face screwed up.
….
Like the animals on Noah's Ark, people in groups of two gathered from all over and settled in the forest to watch the movie. It was set up on a projector emanating from a bus in the back, which Fionna and Marshall sat on. Their view overlooked the many other couples gathered there as well as the screen that the movie played on.
"I can't believe I finally get to see this movie," Fionna whispered to Marshall as the movie started.
Right away, however, Fionna was bound to be disappointed. The movie was titled: Love Kaboom, and the very first scene depicted a couple kissing.
"Oh, my love," the female character whispered. "I fear this is goodbye."
"No, not goodbye," the male character said. "This is…farewell!"
Fionna grew uneasy as she took notice of the rest of the crowd. Cake was wrapped in Lord Monochromicorn's tight, black embrace, and they kissed passionately. She slowly started to realize that all of the other couples were doing the same. A series of awkward smacking noises could be heard all throughout, and it made Fionna feel sick to her stomach. After awhile, her stomach peaked with ache and she leaned over the side of the bus, emptying her stomach of its contents. She felt numb having vomited, and she was unwilling to stick around any longer. She could tell that Marshall felt the same way, as he was making loud moaning noises and clutched his stomach as if ready to lose his dinner himself, but he struggled to keep it in.
"Couples night sucks!" Fionna sneered. "Marshall Lee, would you do me the honor of taking me the heck away from here?"
"There's nothing I'd like more," Marshall said in a deep voice. He grabbed Fionna by the arms and hoisted her into the air, away from the area.
At the precise moment in which the male character in the movie held his lover in an embrace and proclaimed "Nothing could tear us apart," the screen split in half as an explosion of brown fur and sharp teeth spread among the couples. Fionna and Marshall laughed and howled as they rode the wolves and lead them across the forest before disappearing into the night.